Wish Me Luck

[Recidiva]

It has taken me almost a year to get a new driver's license in the state that gave me my first driver's license.

I've had three name changes, and I was lacking one marriage certificate to prove a chain of evidence from birth certificate to current license.

State of California says "You were married in 1987? That's one of those years we can't access. Due to budget cutbacks."

So back and forth with California three times until I really get that they're not going to help me under any circumstances.

I finally contact a third party who will find my birth certificate for them if I fax a bunch of forms and a check entirely oversized for finding a piece of paper.

I get it. I go back to the DMV with my original folder of proof. "I'm sorry ma'am, but this is an expired proof of address. Must be within 90 days."

Crap. I go home, look through a folder. Look! August! There's an 8 on it, this is new. I go back to the DMV. Ma'am, I'm so sorry, this is August 2012.

Gah.

Okay. Fourteenth time's the charm, right?

I'm going to drive to the DMV again, in a few minutes. I fully expect alien attack or lame kitten in the road to prevent this if I haven't fucked up the fifteen forms of validation they require this time.

If the world ends, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I just wanted a current driver's license.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Let this be a lesson to you, missy.

You don't HAVE to marry every guy you have sex with!

*ducking*

 

[Recidiva]

Let this be a lesson to you, missy.

You don't HAVE to marry every guy you have sex with!

*ducking*

Okay. Just one out of every *counts* Four?

I didn't even make it to fourteenth being the charm.

I might have sex with the DMV guy or girl if I could MOVE THIS FUCKING ALONG PLEASE. Or bake them cookies if that is their preference.

 

[Balladeer08]

It has taken me almost a year to get a new driver's license in the state that gave me my first driver's license.

I've had three name changes, and I was lacking one marriage certificate to prove a chain of evidence from birth certificate to current license.

State of California says "You were married in 1987? That's one of those years we can't access. Due to budget cutbacks."

So back and forth with California three times until I really get that they're not going to help me under any circumstances.

I finally contact a third party who will find my birth certificate for them if I fax a bunch of forms and a check entirely oversized for finding a piece of paper.

I get it. I go back to the DMV with my original folder of proof. "I'm sorry ma'am, but this is an expired proof of address. Must be within 90 days."

Crap. I go home, look through a folder. Look! August! There's an 8 on it, this is new. I go back to the DMV. Ma'am, I'm so sorry, this is August 2012.

Gah.

Okay. Fourteenth time's the charm, right?

I'm going to drive to the DMV again, in a few minutes. I fully expect alien attack or lame kitten in the road to prevent this if I haven't fucked up the fifteen forms of validation they require this time.

If the world ends, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I just wanted a current driver's license.

It takes a bureaucracy
to fight a bureaucracy. 8(

 

[SalviaDivinorum]

Okay. Just one out of every *counts* Four?

I didn't even make it to fourteenth being the charm.

I might have sex with the DMV guy or girl if I could MOVE THIS FUCKING ALONG PLEASE. Or bake them cookies if that is their preference.

That's kind of a recurring number...

 

[Recidiva]

It takes a bureaucracy
to fight a bureaucracy. 8(

I don't have the money to pay a lot of people to sit around telling other people no all day.

I need a small country, then I bet I could get my own license issued. Or at least conduct wiretaps and use them to blackmail DMV agents.

 

[Recidiva]

That's kind of a recurring number...

Yes, it was still in my short term memory. It was deliberate. I hope.

 

[butters]

good luck

 

[Recidiva]

good luck

Thank you.

The saga continues. I passed the ID inspection and could prove who I was.

But when I get up to take my picture they ask me did I have a license in NJ before. Yes.

It's suspended.

Why?

Don't know. Call this number.

So I guess I'll...call the number.

I'm suspecting something boring like clerical error, but it's possible someone stole my identity and my alter ego is going to get me in biiiig trouble.

 

[butters]

Thank you.

The saga continues. I passed the ID inspection and could prove who I was.

But when I get up to take my picture they ask me did I have a license in NJ before. Yes.

It's suspended.

Why?

Don't know. Call this number.

So I guess I'll...call the number.

I'm suspecting something boring like clerical error, but it's possible someone stole my identity and my alter ego is going to get me in biiiig trouble.

it'd be too much for them to pick up teh phone and find out for you, wouldn't it? and then it's probably the wrong number

or they have it on record that 'some person' keeps trying to get a driver's license using your name but not being able to prove they're who you claim to be . . . so you're guilty of not being able to prove you are you.

bleedin' 'ell

 

[Recidiva]

it'd be too much for them to pick up teh phone and find out for you, wouldn't it? and then it's probably the wrong number

or they have it on record that 'some person' keep trying to get a driver's license using your name but not being able to prove they're who you claim to be . . . so you're guilty of not being able to prove you are you.

bleedin' 'ell

I had to make them write down the number somewhere specific because she said "I wrote down your old license number or you on that piece of paper."

"Which piece of paper?" Holding up about fourteen different pieces of documentation all paper clipped together and scribbled upon.

She waves. "That one."

I take the piece of paper that has the number I should call and ask her to write it down there.

She complied. I should take that as a win, I suppose.

 

[butters]

fingers crossed, then.

it really really shouldn't be this hard.

 

[chillywilly2]

It has taken me almost a year to get a new driver's license in the state that gave me my first driver's license.

I've had three name changes, and I was lacking one marriage certificate to prove a chain of evidence from birth certificate to current license.

State of California says "You were married in 1987? That's one of those years we can't access. Due to budget cutbacks."

So back and forth with California three times until I really get that they're not going to help me under any circumstances.

I finally contact a third party who will find my birth certificate for them if I fax a bunch of forms and a check entirely oversized for finding a piece of paper.

I get it. I go back to the DMV with my original folder of proof. "I'm sorry ma'am, but this is an expired proof of address. Must be within 90 days."

Crap. I go home, look through a folder. Look! August! There's an 8 on it, this is new. I go back to the DMV. Ma'am, I'm so sorry, this is August 2012.

Gah.

Okay. Fourteenth time's the charm, right?

I'm going to drive to the DMV again, in a few minutes. I fully expect alien attack or lame kitten in the road to prevent this if I haven't fucked up the fifteen forms of validation they require this time.

If the world ends, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it, I just wanted a current driver's license.

So just WHY are you driving without a license

 

[Ulaven_Demorte]

Thank you.

The saga continues. I passed the ID inspection and could prove who I was.

But when I get up to take my picture they ask me did I have a license in NJ before. Yes.

It's suspended.

Why?

Don't know. Call this number.

So I guess I'll...call the number.

I'm suspecting something boring like clerical error, but it's possible someone stole my identity and my alter ego is going to get me in biiiig trouble.

Jesus.. If it's not one thing it's another.

Maybe you have some unpaid parking tickets from a couple of decades ago.

 

[Aphro]

OK, now go try to get an automatic weapon, and let us know if it's any easier to procure than a driver's license in your state. I'm curious.

 

[Recidiva]

So just WHY are you driving without a license

I have a valid Florida driver's license. I can drive.

 

[Recidiva]

Jesus.. If it's not one thing it's another.

Maybe you have some unpaid parking tickets from a couple of decades ago.

I'm thinking...from when I was 16? I guess I'll find out. Isn't that kind of a long time to hold a legal grudge?

 

[Recidiva]

OK, now go try to get an automatic weapon, and let us know if it's any easier to procure than a driver's license in your state. I'm curious.

Is THAT why my license is suspended?!

(no actual automatic weapons were bought in the typing of this joke)

 

[butters]

Is THAT why my license is suspended?!

(no actual automatic weapons were bought in the typing of this joke)

or harmed, i would hope....

 

[HoHoBomb]

thanks for the remind, I need to return some plates

 

[Ulaven_Demorte]

I'm thinking...from when I was 16? I guess I'll find out. Isn't that kind of a long time to hold a legal grudge?

My Florida license was suspended indefinitely while I was in Germany in the Army for non-payment of a hospital bill incurred in an auto accident.. Except that it had been paid..

When I returned to the states they said they had no record of it ever being suspended.

Probably something stupid.

 

[Recidiva]

My Florida license was suspended indefinitely while I was in Germany in the Army for non-payment of a hospital bill incurred in an auto accident.. Except that it had been paid..

When I returned to the states they said they had no record of it ever being suspended.

Probably something stupid.

They are experiencing high levels of call volumes. At least I managed the menu options, I hope.

I just can't think about Skittles or I'm screwed. I have to have a fake sneeze ready.

 

[chillywilly2]

I have a valid Florida driver's license. I can drive.

Not if the NY one was suspended first...then you got it illegally

 

[chillywilly2]

What the hell state are you trying to get a license in now anyway...how many do you need?

 

[Recidiva]

Not if the NY one was suspended first...then you got it illegally

Let's see.

Driver's licenses went...

NJ
California
Massachusetts
NJ
Florida
NJ

So it can't be the original, unless I only drove on the Massachusetts license for the brief time I lived here the second time. (I still can't spell Massachusetts by just looking at it. Lived there but have to make sure I spelled it right with Google)

Maybe they suspended the first one for the second one and only the second is valid and I'm on the third.

But why the fuck did Florida give me a license then?

Their hold music is awful but not the worst. Worst is the doctor's office. LOUD theme from "Peanuts" - Schroeder's piano theme. On loop. Torture. They need to bill my insurance for trauma.