Wild Sex 101

[WriterDom]

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/local/story/474680p-399293c.html

I think I went to the wrong school.

 

[jadefirefly]

Well that definitely makes one re-consider their educational goals in life, doesn't it?

 

[myinnerslut]

i went to a sex toys party (and got to be the volunteeer to try out some of the products ), and a "sex and candy" party last year, but we have no S+M club. mabye i should start one.

 

[Mamid]

Gotta love the "Tent of Consent"

Why do I have this vision of this massive army test with passed out prudes in front.

 

[Mamid]

Goram it. I need to password my computer. He posted under my account because he didn't double check first! *snarl* bad man. no carrot.

 

[stlpenguin]

That article turned my stomach. It seemed like the answers the S&M club said all the correct things - "Safe, sane, consensual" - but all the reporter saw or heard was "whip" and "flogger"... and can't imagine how that could be safe, sane, or consensual.

The article seemed to sneer at the idea of EDUCATING people on the safe way to involve S&M in your sex life. Frankly, I find that noble, not repulsive. I just really REALLY hate it when S&M, and D&s get portrayed as these evil, sexually deviant practices in the mainstream. Like NONE of those reporters has even a slight kink, I bet...

-- Penguin

 

[satindesire]

I dunno...to be honest with you, I think that this is a really inappropriate thing to be sponsored or condoned on school property. Being a member of the BDSM community and wanting to spread the ideals of SSC to show that our lifestyle isn't sick, weird or evil is a good idea, but is it REALLY what these parties are about? Or is it just a convenient excuse to fuck on school grounds without the worries of getting into trouble when caught?

I'm all for personal sexual freedom, honestly, but on school grounds? I think this is seriously pushing the boundaries of what's acceptable in an educational atmosphere and what's not.

And to be truthful with ya'll, who NOT involved in the BDSM lifestyle will really be open minded and accepting? Some will, but many, MANY more won't. Obviously, the report was slightly condescending, I saw it pretty clearly...Is THIS the way we want our lives to be portrayed? It's just going to negatively reinforce all those stereotypes that's keeping us from being acceptable in modern society.

College parties are already out of control...there should be a limit to the kinds of things that go down on campus...and IMHO, this is one of those things that just crosses the line.

 

[neonflux]

That article turned my stomach. It seemed like the answers the S&M club said all the correct things - "Safe, sane, consensual" - but all the reporter saw or heard was "whip" and "flogger"... and can't imagine how that could be safe, sane, or consensual.

The article seemed to sneer at the idea of EDUCATING people on the safe way to involve S&M in your sex life. Frankly, I find that noble, not repulsive. I just really REALLY hate it when S&M, and D&s get portrayed as these evil, sexually deviant practices in the mainstream. Like NONE of those reporters has even a slight kink, I bet...

-- Penguin

Didn't turn my stomach, but made me angry and sad. I agree that none of it was positive - not only when it came to BDSM but sex in general. It just shows how far we have to go as a society in embracing any form of desire, any celebration of pleasure.

I think that Columbia is brave for not taking the bait and supporting the students in question. Not only is safer sex a legitimate topic to discuss with students. Sexuality is a legitimate course of study, including - or perhaps especially consideration of the dynamics of power play, human desire, etc. Lacan anyone? ~ Neon

 

[the captians wench]

Okay that makes me want to go back to school even more.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Or is it just a convenient excuse to fuck on school grounds without the worries of getting into trouble when caught?

Conversio Virium is one of (if not THE) oldest college student BDSM organizations in the country. It has been active in educating young people about how to practice SM with relative safety for several years. As a STUDENT organization, they must keep their practices within the guidelines set forth by the university, and they do so quite well.

Do their members engage in sexual practices. I have no doubt they do.

Do they have sex at group meetings? No more so than your local munch does.

And even if they did, if it's done within the school's guidelines and honor code, then who are we to bitch about it?

Young people NEED a place where they can get information and education, support and encouragement about BDSM. While I understand the reasons most groups restrict membership to 21 and up, I absolutely support college students having the opportunity to learn more about this lifestyle and the myriad of ways to go about doing things.

 

[myinnerslut]

as a "young people" who is whithout a doubt submissive and in a D/s relationship, i wholeheartedly agree with you

"Young people NEED a place where they can get information and education, support and encouragement about BDSM. While I understand the reasons most groups restrict membership to 21 and up, I absolutely support college students having the opportunity to learn more about this lifestyle and the myriad of ways to go about doing things."
~ Evil Geoff

 

[BiBunny]

Yes, I'm seconding that, myinnerslut. Evil Geoff is totally correct. I'm one of those "young folks," too. Let's face it, a lot of the "older" people in this lifestyle don't take us seriously. (Most on this website do, thank God, which is a big reason that I'm still here.)

 

[JMohegan]

A couple of things to keep the Daily News article in perspective, for those who are non-US.

1 - Columbia is one of the most selective universities in the United States. This is not a school for lazy rich kids. Yes, there are many people with privileged backgrounds on the campus. But the academic environment is extremely rigorous. You don't get in, or graduate, if all you do is fuck around.

2 - The New York Daily News is a tabloid newspaper. No, it's not as outrageous as the "Alien Stole My Cat and Fed Him to Bigfoot" trash. But sensationalism is a big part of their M.O. In other words, this is *not* The New York Times.

And speaking of the Times.....

Below is an article about Columbia's Conversio Virium club that appeared in the Times last year. It's quite a contrast to the Daily News report.



NEIGHBORHOOD REPORT: MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS; Have You Been Naughty? Exploring the World of Corsets and Kink

By JENNIFER BLEYER
Published: March 20, 2005

Slinking up to the blackboard in a smart skirt and tweed jacket, a pretty Columbia senior turned to the other students who gathered in Room 302 of Hamilton Hall. ''Quiet down,'' she said. ''As you can see, I'm wearing my schoolteacher outfit.''

Giggles rippled around the room, followed by obedient silence.

With that, the president of Conversio Virium, the Columbia University student club for enthusiasts of bondage, discipline and sadomasochism, called to order their meeting to schedule the activities of the spring semester. While some may be shocked by the existence of such an organization and others, in this age of ''Desperate Housewives,'' may be blasé, in many respects the meeting looked like any other extracurricular gathering. Cider and cookies were laid out. And an announcement was made about the availability of laminated membership cards (''You can call yourself a 'card-carrying pervert' and mean it!'' says the group's Web site).

Then the two dozen people in attendance, roughly balanced between men and women, went around the room stating their names and interests. The schoolteacher, who is the club president, went first. She requested anonymity, not out of shame, she explained, but to avoid harming her prospects for admission to law school.

''I started out thinking I'd be really into rope bondage,'' she said, all pluck and candor. ''But I quickly found out that what I really liked was spanking.''

A lanky guy in jeans and a red T-shirt announced that he had recently had an ''awesome'' time learning how to play with needles. A young woman in a Columbia '05 sweatshirt described her interests as ''knitting, crocheting, flogging and bondage.'' A studious-looking man in horn-rims identified himself as a ''funny kind of sadist.''

Laundry lists of fetishes were ticked off as if they were top choices for graduate school. The group sidetracked into an erudite discussion of the psychological underpinnings of sadomasochism. Finally, club members got down to the business at hand, which was scheduling discussion topics, activities and outings for the semester.

Conversio Virium, which the group translates from Latin as ''exchange of power,'' got off to bumpy start in 1994 when a student governing board decertified it, a form of expulsion, for promoting ''unjustifiable violence,'' among other reasons. After much petitioning, letter writing and invocation of the First Amendment, the founding students convinced the university that the group promoted only consensual, safe behavior, and it was reinstated as an official student organization in 1995.

Since then, many students have stumbled across the organization the way the club president did during her freshman year. It was Club Day on College Walk, the broad pathway that bisects the campus at 116th Street, and there, amid tables recruiting members for enterprises like the Chess Club, the French Culture Club and Columbia College Democrats, was the Conversio Virium table, attended by two young women wearing black corsets and swinging whips.

As the recent meeting ended, members milled about and chatted as the club president, glancing around, bemoaned the fact that so many others were insufficiently frank about their desires. ''Some people,'' she said with a sigh, ''are just too shy to hit each other.''

 

[Jourden37]

I dunno...to be honest with you, I think that this is a really inappropriate thing to be sponsored or condoned on school property. Being a member of the BDSM community and wanting to spread the ideals of SSC to show that our lifestyle isn't sick, weird or evil is a good idea, but is it REALLY what these parties are about? Or is it just a convenient excuse to fuck on school grounds without the worries of getting into trouble when caught?

I'm all for personal sexual freedom, honestly, but on school grounds? I think this is seriously pushing the boundaries of what's acceptable in an educational atmosphere and what's not.

And to be truthful with ya'll, who NOT involved in the BDSM lifestyle will really be open minded and accepting? Some will, but many, MANY more won't. Obviously, the report was slightly condescending, I saw it pretty clearly...Is THIS the way we want our lives to be portrayed? It's just going to negatively reinforce all those stereotypes that's keeping us from being acceptable in modern society.

College parties are already out of control...there should be a limit to the kinds of things that go down on campus...and IMHO, this is one of those things that just crosses the line.

I disagree....
It's all about opening people's minds. Would you be saying the same thing if it were a GLBT group??? They're doing pretty much the same things, and one of those is letting people know that this lifestyle is real and not a thing to be feared.

Also, students do not need an excuse to fuck on campus, I can tell you that much from experience. I have been to parties that were people just playing games and talking and all of a sudden people started hooking up whereas the Halloween parties are where no one hooks up because sooo much skin is exposed.

College is a time of pushing the boundaries, of figuring out who you are, and I think this kind of club is awesome!! It would do wonderfully down here at my school.

 

[neonflux]

Thank you for this second article. The NYT is, clearly, a less sensationalistic periodical. The problem, of course, is that more people read newspapers like the NY Daily News and I think it is more expressive of the views of the country. Regarding rigor and sexuality/power/violence as a legitimate course of study - Lacan, I say, again I say Lacan! (Can you tell that I'm rereading him currently, LOL?)

~ Neon

P.S., I do love the title of the NYT article

A couple of things to keep the Daily News article in perspective, for those who are non-US.

1 - Columbia is one of the most selective universities in the United States. This is not a school for lazy rich kids. Yes, there are many people with privileged backgrounds on the campus. But the academic environment is extremely rigorous. You don't get in, or graduate, if all you do is fuck around.

2 - The New York Daily News is a tabloid newspaper. No, it's not as outrageous as the "Alien Stole My Cat and Fed Him to Bigfoot" trash. But sensationalism is a big part of their M.O. In other words, this is *not* The New York Times.

And speaking of the Times.....

Below is an article about Columbia's Conversio Virium club that appeared in the Times last year. It's quite a contrast to the Daily News report.



NEIGHBORHOOD REPORT: MORNINGSIDE HEIGHTS; Have You Been Naughty? Exploring the World of Corsets and Kink

By JENNIFER BLEYER
Published: March 20, 2005

Slinking up to the blackboard in a smart skirt and tweed jacket, a pretty Columbia senior turned to the other students who gathered in Room 302 of Hamilton Hall. ''Quiet down,'' she said. ''As you can see, I'm wearing my schoolteacher outfit.''

Giggles rippled around the room, followed by obedient silence.

With that, the president of Conversio Virium, the Columbia University student club for enthusiasts of bondage, discipline and sadomasochism, called to order their meeting to schedule the activities of the spring semester. While some may be shocked by the existence of such an organization and others, in this age of ''Desperate Housewives,'' may be blasé, in many respects the meeting looked like any other extracurricular gathering. Cider and cookies were laid out. And an announcement was made about the availability of laminated membership cards (''You can call yourself a 'card-carrying pervert' and mean it!'' says the group's Web site).

Then the two dozen people in attendance, roughly balanced between men and women, went around the room stating their names and interests. The schoolteacher, who is the club president, went first. She requested anonymity, not out of shame, she explained, but to avoid harming her prospects for admission to law school.

''I started out thinking I'd be really into rope bondage,'' she said, all pluck and candor. ''But I quickly found out that what I really liked was spanking.''

A lanky guy in jeans and a red T-shirt announced that he had recently had an ''awesome'' time learning how to play with needles. A young woman in a Columbia '05 sweatshirt described her interests as ''knitting, crocheting, flogging and bondage.'' A studious-looking man in horn-rims identified himself as a ''funny kind of sadist.''

Laundry lists of fetishes were ticked off as if they were top choices for graduate school. The group sidetracked into an erudite discussion of the psychological underpinnings of sadomasochism. Finally, club members got down to the business at hand, which was scheduling discussion topics, activities and outings for the semester.

Conversio Virium, which the group translates from Latin as ''exchange of power,'' got off to bumpy start in 1994 when a student governing board decertified it, a form of expulsion, for promoting ''unjustifiable violence,'' among other reasons. After much petitioning, letter writing and invocation of the First Amendment, the founding students convinced the university that the group promoted only consensual, safe behavior, and it was reinstated as an official student organization in 1995.

Since then, many students have stumbled across the organization the way the club president did during her freshman year. It was Club Day on College Walk, the broad pathway that bisects the campus at 116th Street, and there, amid tables recruiting members for enterprises like the Chess Club, the French Culture Club and Columbia College Democrats, was the Conversio Virium table, attended by two young women wearing black corsets and swinging whips.

As the recent meeting ended, members milled about and chatted as the club president, glancing around, bemoaned the fact that so many others were insufficiently frank about their desires. ''Some people,'' she said with a sigh, ''are just too shy to hit each other.''

 

[JMohegan]

Thank you for this second article.

Quite welcome.

Nice to see you, Neon.