wife with another

[italianhawk]

I don't know where to look, so I thought I would ask how to. I have been dying to let my wife get laid by someone else, but she is a good girl and has no desire now. How many out there took a while? I gave her permission to do so on her bachelorette party night, but all she did was kiss for a while, which was excellent. Can anyone tell me about their experiences and how it happened for them? I am not interested in doing anything myself.

 

[dollface007]

Wow...you have a faithful and loyal wife. You poor baby.

 

[italianhawk]

Let me ammend this thread before I get bashed. We discussed this before, she and I, and since she had not had that much experience, she felt a little missing piece. She originally agreed if the oppourtunity presented itself, but later changed her mind since we were getting married. She said she would have gone for it earlier in our relationship. I was just wanting to know if this was a similar instance with anyone else and what they did to pursue it.

 

[bobsgirl]

Wow...you have a faithful and loyal wife. You poor baby.

This was my first reaction too. If you've brought the subject up to your wife, and she isn't keen on it, you pretty much have to drop it, I think.

 

[Betticus]

Damn! If your wife has a moral or ethical problem with fucking other guys then the problem isn't going to be how to convince her to do it. If you push this course of action and she goes through with it she will more than likely feel guilty about it. And if that happens then guess who is to blame. She may end up resenting you and your personal perversion and that will just spell disaster for your marriage. Or she might like it and that could also end your marriage.

It sounds like the person that has the problem to deal with in your marriage is you. Look at it from her point of view. She might feel that you don't love her for her but for the purpose of satisfying your kink. You probably already have caused some loss of trust and respect with her if you keep bringing it up after she's told you that she feels uncomfortable with it.

I don't think you will get any advice on how to get your wife to compromise her morals here. You might get advised to get yourself some therapy though.

 

[Saoirse]

If your wife doesnt want to be with anyone else.. why would you push her into it??? Even if she did want to be with another guy you should be talking her out of it.. not encouraging her.

It would be different if you were suggesting a 3some or play with another couple that you could both indulge in and get pleasure from together.

What you are suggesting is just dangerous and has the potential to cause lasting damage to your marriage.

Just my opinion.

 

[AvaAdore]

I don't think you will get any advice on how to get your wife to compromise her morals here. You might get advised to get yourself some therapy though.

why so extreme??? his wife even said earlier that she would have been interested! and therapy??? wtf?


the two main responses for relationship advice on the forum are either "dump her" or "forget about your feelings, it will never happen."

 

[BirdsWife]

why so extreme??? his wife even said earlier that she would have been interested! and therapy??? wtf?

If you read his post, she said she would have been interested earlier in their relationship before they got married. Now that they are married, she has apparently decided to honor her marriage vows to forsake all others. That is her perogative, and she is obviously happy with that decision. If her husband can't accept that she wants to be faithful to him in both mind and body, then he is the one who needs the attitude adjustment, not her.

 

[assister49]

I am also one who's SO has given me permission to sleep with another, of which I am not comfortable and told him so. I agree that it is a way to feel a sense of "unloved" or that something that is supposed to be there is somehow missing. Loyalty, trust, I cant put my finger on it. But it does sort of eat away at you (no pun intended).

Although a strange thing happened recently. An innocent flirt on my part raised the hairs of jealousy a bit in him (no serious power trip or anything). And actually it made me feel a bit more secure - like this may be just a fantasy and not a reality. Too much psychobabble...

 

[Yellow_Kite]

Know what you mean, know what you mean...

 

[manofsteel52]

Here we go again. The guys asks a question regarding a sexual social faux pas and everyone jumps all over him.
Hey guys, this is a fucking porn site!
You wanna judge someone, go to fucking church! Friendly advice is one thing, but some of these responses were a little heavy handed... although I agree, if she's not into it, don't push her. And be careful what you wish for, you might get it....
Not many relationships can handle it.

Here's a link to a site devoted to wives with other men... just remember, look responsibly...
http://www.hotwivesforum.net/;)

 

[BirdsWife]

Here we go again. The guys asks a question regarding a sexual social faux pas and everyone jumps all over him.
Hey guys, this is a fucking porn site!
You wanna judge someone, go to fucking church!

I don't think anyone is judging him for wanting his wife to have sex with someone else, especially since a lot of people here have open relationships and/or live a swinging lifestyle.

I believe people are reacting so strongly because he is trying to look for ways to talk her into doing something she has said she no longer wants to try now that their casual relationship has become a marriage. Instead of accepting her decision he is looking for ways to convince her she is "wrong", which shows a lack of respect for his wife.

She already knows his opinion on the subject. If she decides to change her mind again and the idea of having sex with someone else is one that holds appeal for her, then I'm sure he would be the first person she tells. Until then, he should drop it.

 

[Betticus]

Here we go again. The guys asks a question regarding a sexual social faux pas and everyone jumps all over him.
Hey guys, this is a fucking porn site!
You wanna judge someone, go to fucking church! Friendly advice is one thing, but some of these responses were a little heavy handed... although I agree, if she's not into it, don't push her. And be careful what you wish for, you might get it....
Not many relationships can handle it.

Here's a link to a site devoted to wives with other men... just remember, look responsibly...
http://www.hotwivesforum.net/;)

You have to be kidding. At first you go off on the church/judgemental tangent and in your next sentence you agree that pushing her into it is potentially harmful.

Maybe the advice seems a little bit much for you but also realize that he's not asking about a new way to tie a knot. He's asking about how to get his wife to sleep with another man. There is a level of significance involved with this subject that goes beyond a lot of the normal questions. He's actually getting serious advice from people and so far no one has bashed the swinging/sharing lifestyle. We are all hung up on her not being comfortable with it.

As far as my therapy comment. If this issue is causing him to have problems in the marriage then maybe some counseling is in order. That is just my opinion. It depends on how much time and thought goes into this subject. Is it something that he can easily live without? Is the thought of her with another man becoming obsessive and affecting his and her lives? I don't know but I threw it out there just in case.

 

[manofsteel52]

You have to be kidding. At first you go off on the church/judgemental tangent and in your next sentence you agree that pushing her into it is potentially harmful.

Maybe the advice seems a little bit much for you but also realize that he's not asking about a new way to tie a knot. He's asking about how to get his wife to sleep with another man. There is a level of significance involved with this subject that goes beyond a lot of the normal questions. He's actually getting serious advice from people and so far no one has bashed the swinging/sharing lifestyle. We are all hung up on her not being comfortable with it.

As far as my therapy comment. If this issue is causing him to have problems in the marriage then maybe some counseling is in order. That is just my opinion. It depends on how much time and thought goes into this subject. Is it something that he can easily live without? Is the thought of her with another man becoming obsessive and affecting his and her lives? I don't know but I threw it out there just in case.

He asked about other people's similar experiences. He DID NOT ask for approval.

 

[Vixandra]

I don't think pressuring her into sleeping with another man would help your relationship with her in any way, shape or form.

Perhaps getting one of those life size blow up dolls with the attatched "penis" and watching her do that? Yeah, I know, not another guy, but its not you she's screwing. Within her vows- yes. Will it turn you on- possibly.
Could try that approch.

 

[Betticus]

He asked about other people's similar experiences. He DID NOT ask for approval.

Go troll someone else.

 

[manofsteel52]

Go troll someone else.

Fuck off asshole.

 

[Mskey]

trying gently to steer the poor mans thread back into peaceful territory

OK, lemme see if I'm understanding you. It would arouse you to see your wife sexually with a man other then yourself. As much flak as you'll get for it I have found that this is a turn on alot more common then I'd originally thought.
You have given your wife permission to act should the opportunity present itself, and she was at one time interested in the idea, but now has chosen to honor her commitment to you. Well, glad to know that you've discussed the idea with her. That's a definate positive, but you need to now understand that she has made her decision to honor you and in return you should honor that choice. You don't want her to do this becasue you nagged her, or simply to please you. Sex with another person should be something you're both okay with and she's not.
You want to know if anyone else who has allowed their wife to be with another has had a similar experience with their wife balking at the idea and if so what they did to nudge her in the direction of their choice?
I can't speak to that, but I would like to say that anyone who has had to " talk their wife into it" probably made a poor choice becasue they pushed someone they promised to love honor and cherish into doing something they weren't comfortable with.
I know it's not the answer you're looking for, but the simple fact is that if your wife doesn't want to partake in this then you need to accept that and let this particular fantasy go. Your marriage is more important and I can promise you that pushing this particular issue will destroy it.

 

[italianhawk]

mskey,
Thanks. You are one of the very very few who got the jist of my question even after I tried to re-explain it. I simply stated that yes at some point she was game for it, she later changed her mind, but still thought about it and kissed someone else. Now she doesn't want to do it. She is young and I feel that due to a very limited sexual background she MAY want to visit this again later down the road. I AM NOT pressuring her, not forcing her, do not need therapy, am not pissed off that she won't do it, don't feel sad, mad, neglected, and don't need anyone coming down on me for my beliefs. I was asking about others experiences and if anyone ever had the same situation, whether right away or if she said no at first, but then like so many of the stories on this website, changed her mind. I cannot believe that the same people who responded to this thread actually read any of these stories. Thanks to those who defended me and actually read what I wrote.

 

[AvaAdore]

Here we go again. The guys asks a question regarding a sexual social faux pas and everyone jumps all over him.
Hey guys, this is a fucking porn site!
You wanna judge someone, go to fucking church! Friendly advice is one thing, but some of these responses were a little heavy handed... although I agree, if she's not into it, don't push her. And be careful what you wish for, you might get it....
Not many relationships can handle it.

amen!

 

[Betticus]

mskey,
Thanks. You are one of the very very few who got the jist of my question even after I tried to re-explain it. I simply stated that yes at some point she was game for it, she later changed her mind, but still thought about it and kissed someone else. Now she doesn't want to do it. She is young and I feel that due to a very limited sexual background she MAY want to visit this again later down the road. I AM NOT pressuring her, not forcing her, do not need therapy, am not pissed off that she won't do it, don't feel sad, mad, neglected, and don't need anyone coming down on me for my beliefs. I was asking about others experiences and if anyone ever had the same situation, whether right away or if she said no at first, but then like so many of the stories on this website, changed her mind. I cannot believe that the same people who responded to this thread actually read any of these stories. Thanks to those who defended me and actually read what I wrote.

I'm sorry that it came off wrong but I was speaking from experience here. My ex wifes biggest fantasy was to be with two men at the same time. It happened, she is now an ex wife and is with the other guy. End of story. There is a lot more behind it than just him that broke up the marriage but it certainly was a contributing factor and there was a loss of trust on both sides due to it. It was always a factor in the marriage after that time.

So perhaps a better answer from me to your question is to just say that should the opportunity ever arise again if I ever get married again I would run like hell from that situation.