Wife wants a 'boyfriend' to dominate

[SPARTAN047]

Agreed, most tend to forget that a couple looking for a third person means that both members need to mesh with the potential suitor.

The third person needs to understand that he is there to “help” the couple in their intimacy.

Maybe not bring up flogging on the first date! Just a thought.

Only bring up a bare ass red cheeked spanking and a rough fingering on the first date. Should be mundanely safe topics.

 

[eroticspank]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

Another thought is if you meet on a website or dating site, why not discuss what you are looking for ahead of time before you meet up? Example: If you put an ad here on Literotica, when you get replies, spend time talking to possible guys, then what you expect and ask them about their interests. Before the couple I mentioned earlier met with me, we had many discussions via email and phone.
ES

 

[Alpha_femboy]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

Your wife has a very valid point and it's good to know u have clear communication with eachother un like other couples.
Anyways you should find a guy ready to get dommed it'll spark up ur marriage a lot and keep it safe and secured too without any changes in it.
Maybe I can volunteer

 

[Acloudycd]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

I'd love to volunteer if she would accept me

 

[Britva415]

Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

It doesn't have to be any more complicated than calling it an open relationship or ethical/conseensual nonmonogamy.

And that's if sex is even part of the picture at all. She can be a domme to a guy without having sex with him. It isn't clear whether she wants to or not. If not, you don't even have to call it an open or nonmonogamous relationship. She can just have her "kink friend" like it's any other hobby.

Sounds like she wants a kind of role reversal cuckold relationship.

Not to me. I didn't see anything along the lines of him wanting to watch or her wanting him to, and I didn't see anything along the lines of the husband's humiliation or cuck status being part of the kink. In fact I saw the opposite: The wife doesn't want to lose respect for him or harm/distort the present dynamic by putting him into any type of subby situation.

most tend to forget that a couple looking for a third person means that both members need to mesh with the potential suitor.

Not necessarily in this case, though. Like I said above, it isn't clear whether the husband is going to be involved with this or not. She could have a kink buddy and everything about it is just between the two of them. The husband might not ever even meet the guy, much less bee part of the scene. We didn't hear one way or the other whether this was going to be a triad or just a one-sided extramarital thing.

Anyway, @curiouschattycouple ,
how has this been going? Did anything come of it?

 

[curiouschattycouple]

It doesn't have to be any more complicated than calling it an open relationship or ethical/conseensual nonmonogamy.

And that's if sex is even part of the picture at all. She can be a domme to a guy without having sex with him. It isn't clear whether she wants to or not. If not, you don't even have to call it an open or nonmonogamous relationship. She can just have her "kink friend" like it's any other hobby.


Not to me. I didn't see anything along the lines of him wanting to watch or her wanting him to, and I didn't see anything along the lines of the husband's humiliation or cuck status being part of the kink. In fact I saw the opposite: The wife doesn't want to lose respect for him or harm/distort the present dynamic by putting him into any type of subby situation.


Not necessarily in this case, though. Like I said above, it isn't clear whether the husband is going to be involved with this or not. She could have a kink buddy and everything about it is just between the two of them. The husband might not ever even meet the guy, much less bee part of the scene. We didn't hear one way or the other whether this was going to be a triad or just a one-sided extramarital thing.

Anyway, @curiouschattycouple ,
how has this been going? Did anything come of it?

Hordes of offers on here. My wife isn't confident though in how this might play out. Our local sex swingers club actually has some intro to femdom sessions she might go to to learn about it first.

 

[Gumby11747]

I was the boyfriend for an older couple about 35 years ago. I had answered an ad that they posted in a swingers magazine looking for a lover for her. Most evenings started with her and I alone with him joining in later at times. She became more dominant to me as time went on, essentially becoming my Domme. We met at least once a month for about five years till they moved and later divorced. I would be happy to discuss and give you any insights that I can.

 

[Acloudycd]

I'd love to volunteer if she would accept me

 

[ATLfoto]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

He’ll, I volunteer! lol.

 

[Phillin33]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

Would love to offer myself. Where are you? Message me. Even if we are too far apart then would it work online as a role play?

 

[Phillin33]

Hey, me and my partner are in exactly the same situation- I have an interest for a male sub that has to be found outside of the relationship. If you want to chat up and exchange thoughts about it, send me a DM.

Would love to offer myself. Where are you? Message me. Even if we are too far apart then would it work online as a role play?

 

[MasterDarcy]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

It's absolutely in the cucold family with a wee bit of poly. It's not really full poly as there isn't any sex involved.

It is a thing. I've known a few couples who participate in such an arrangement, from both angles.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of BDSM people who are married to vanilla spouses. More times than not the BDSM partner goes behind the back of their vanilla partner in order to scratch their itch. Which isn't very healthy, obviously.

I was actually approached few years ago by a woman so that her and I could Dominate her boyfriend. I declined as I'm not into Dominating a man, nor am I polygamous.

Would I have accepted if it was a female bi couple? Good question. Possibly.

It sounds like you and your wife have a great marriage with a strong foundation of trust and communication.

Congratulations on that. You have a great marriage.

 

[foothillsncm]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

Wish I lived close haha