Wife wants a 'boyfriend' to dominate

[curiouschattycouple]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

 

[OddLove]

I don't know if there's a specific term used to describe what you're talking about. It's kind of just one of a million different dynamics in polygamy. There's couples that are slightly poly in the sense that they swing, or one other partner has a strictly sexual relationship with someone else for the purpose of exploring things their partner isn't into.

Regardless of terms to describe the scenario you're talking about, I'd recommend trying to meet couples or poly groups in real life kink events and gatherings and really get to know people. Cause going online could be a lot quicker, but it's kind of sketchy and can cause a lot of unwanted drama. If you find people who are into that lifestyle, it's much less likely that your wife is unknowingly helping a married man cheat on his wife, or accidently hooking up with someone who causes a lot of drama.

But yeah, that shit sounds fun. Just make sure you guys agree on a "I change my mind" kind of thing, cause plenty of dudes think they're fine with their partner hooking up with someone else until it happens.

 

[curiouschattycouple]

I have been trying to find depictions of this online to understand it and my wife better. No luck yet, but apparently everything is on the internet...

 

[subdudeme13]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

I had a friend and he and his wife had the same Domme friend. He was sub and his wife was learning the ropes. She wanted her own sub. It worked out for them.

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

Where do you live. Pm me and

 

[SPARTAN047]

Sounds like she wants a kind of role reversal cuckold relationship.

 

[Ushbit]

Hey, me and my partner are in exactly the same situation- I have an interest for a male sub that has to be found outside of the relationship. If you want to chat up and exchange thoughts about it, send me a DM.

 

[ned63]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

Love to help you out. Dm me an let's start talking an sharing mmmm

 

[nutoseen]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

i'm your guy for this. come to seattle, wa area and she can live out her fantasy. i'm str8. only she gets to play with my little dick.

 

[Ushbit]

Hi, I'm a fun and enthusiastic longtime male submissive who'd like to send you a DM to inquire further about this. I'm currently available for online-only/cyber service to a compatible Domme.

But, as mentioned in another thread that you recently posted in, it appears that you don't have "Allow user's to start conversations with you" (i.e. send you DMs) enabled in your Lit profile.

Feel free to start a conversation by sending me a DM instead.

Or, alternatively, you can enable your profile to accept new DMs from other Lit members by making the change highlighted below:

https://images2.imgbox.com/32/01/QNWIyXeF_o.jpg

Thanks for directing me! I've made the changes. DM me if you want.

 

[Thomas_Hardy]

Hey, me and my partner are in exactly the same situation- I have an interest for a male sub that has to be found outside of the relationship. If you want to chat up and exchange thoughts about it, send me a DM.

Hey you guys are giving me ideas, perhaps that's actually becoming a thing now and I should start chatting up couples

 

[eroticspank]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

I don't think you will have much trouble finding volunteers. It sounds similar to a Cuckold situation only in your case, she just wants to domme the other man. The key is finding the right person for you both. I did it for a couple once years ago and it worked out after talked for a while online, on the phone, and then met in person. The husband met me and gave his approval first and then the wife looked me over. She agreed and we went to their place and played for a few hours. It happened only once but I feel it is very similar to what you are looking for. The husband was sitting in the corner of the dungeon watching the whole scene.

Be sure to tell the sub what you are looking for so the guy knows exactly what he will be in for.
ES

 

[Dishrag]

I’m down

 

[DreamingOfMyEx]

Anyone with a beating heart and an IQ above 3 who has any interest at all in Female Domination should be able to tell you that for every "dominant" woman out there, there's about a million "submissive" men. (Well, okay, maybe just a couple of hundred.) As someone with a lifelong interest in reading about it, role playing it, and trying (with limited success) to experience it for real, I can tell you that you won't have a problem finding a LOT of men who are "interested".

The big challenge is narrowing down the prospects.

But don't worry, most men are idiots, and most of the idiots make it easy to eliminate them from the competition.

If you "place an ad" or something like that, 95% will respond with sentences that aren't sentences, without capitalization or punctuation, with misspelled words. And they'll be saying stupid shit like "plz spank me miztres" or "i want 2 lick the dog shit from ur feet" or "castrate me". The more articulate ones might tell you they're wearing frilly pink panties and stroking their little clitties while reading your ad. (What a turn on, huh?)

--

As for how exactly to make your requests known, I'm a bit beyond all that so I don't know what's popular, but I'm confident you don't need to know a lot of "proper nomenclature" - Just say what you want.

"Dominant woman interested in finding a man (in this area) for light bondage, spanking, verbal humiliation. Husband will be present for safety reasons."

(I know you said "flog" - but you might want to start with something a bit more gentle the first time.)

You might want to specify the husband will meet the man first, or you can both meet the man, for coffee or whatever, just to chat and see if you feel like they're a good match.

That will get you at least three men who claim they want her to castrate them, five who want to lick the dog poop from her feet, and seventeen who think the husband is going to do the spanking. Forty three will demand pictures of the wife while not actually indicating an interest in being tied up and spanked. Several dozen will actually want to be tied up, humiliated, and spanked. (By the way, I might be one of them, depending on your location.) Three of them will respond with complete sentences using proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar - and what they say will indicate they actually read and understood the ad.

You can add all sorts of caveats - the man's age range, height, weight, race or ethnicity, use (or non-use) of tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc etc etc.

Think about questions you might want to ask if and when you correspond, and when you meet. Does he have any medical conditions?

Let me know if you try this, and if my numbers were close. Good luck.

 

[DreamingOfMyEx]

There's a flip side to the above -- what submissive men have to contend with.

For every dominant woman, there are a million submissive men.

So if a woman is hideously overweight and unattractive and couldn't attract a man in a million years, all she has to do is claim she is a Domme and suddenly she has a dozen guys wanting to kiss her ass - even though she doesn't have the first damn clue how to actually be a Domme.

So, just realize those three guys who know how to write complete sentences have dealt with this.

 

[PoetM]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

Yes this is a thing If you can imagine it someone has a a fetish for it. If I'm understanding you, your wife wants to Domme a male and have you be there as well. Many types of makeups for this. There is cuckolding but you don't sound like you fit that. There is just plain her Domme a guy with you in the room and there are plenty of submissive guys who would love that. There are many flavors to it as well, does she want him bi to do something with you or the three of you together or just you watch, possibly assist. No end to it..but it's all pretty common in kink world. Enjoy.

 

[wouldloveto]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped...

You are lucky to have such communication and awareness of your wants and desires. Kudos!

But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy?

I will PM you.

Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Fun!

 

[Sucker2460]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

That be so fun.

 

[Sucker2460]

That be so fun to let your wife use my body.

 

[hbcacouple]

We played these games numerous times back in the Craig's List days. I am naturally normal to submissive to my husband.
I had learned that I liked some mild torment and was eager to try it on someone else. It was hard to find a single girl but, oh so easy, to find guys. Our preference was to play with someone until the relationship ran its course. My favorite experiences were when I could make the guy make changes for me that would be obvious to any other partners. Shaved or waxed. Some change. I liked spanking. I liked some cock and ball torment after we met a guy that was really into it and couldn't be hurt. Sometime I need to write a whole story about that.

 

[subchristopher]

Actually, this dynamic is what I tend to fantasize about most when I dream of slavery. I’m not imagining a female-led relationship in which we have some sort of romantic/sexual relationship but she’s dominant; rather, there’s no romance or sex between us. It’s made absolutely clear to me that I’m ONLY her slave, not her boyfriend. I’m there to serve her. Naturally, she will have normal relationships with normal guys, either boyfriends or a husband - they have nothing to do with me.

This sort of thing is presented in several of my stories here. A guy giving up being allowed to have sex, or even masturbate except on rare occasions with permission, owned by a woman who is either married or has a boyfriend. The boyfriend/husband knows about the slave, but of course the slave is not any sort of threat - he’s just a slave, not even allowed to have an orgasm, much less sex. He will never be allowed to see his owner undressed, though she will see him that way. He’s wired to derive pleasure from serving her, and obeying her, and being humiliated by her, while being denied a “normal” sex life.

I’ve had a few fantasies, and written a couple stories, where the domination is incorporated into a romantic/sexual relationship, but something about it just seems off to me. I understand this is what lots of people practice, and that’s fine. But to me, it just seems those relationships should be between equals, and part of what drives my submission is that I want to serve someone who is explicitly not my equal - she’s better than me, and all I’ll ever be is her slave.

 

[old_hippy_46]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

I think it's a good idea finding a guy she can dominate. There are a lot of guys who would like this opportunity. My suggestion is to check into Adult Friend Finder, to see what oppertunities exist. Good luck in your search.

 

[LinusLattimore]

Anyone with a beating heart and an IQ above 3 who has any interest at all in Female Domination should be able to tell you that for every "dominant" woman out there, there's about a million "submissive" men. (Well, okay, maybe just a couple of hundred.) As someone with a lifelong interest in reading about it, role playing it, and trying (with limited success) to experience it for real, I can tell you that you won't have a problem finding a LOT of men who are "interested".

The big challenge is narrowing down the prospects.

But don't worry, most men are idiots, and most of the idiots make it easy to eliminate them from the competition.

If you "place an ad" or something like that, 95% will respond with sentences that aren't sentences, without capitalization or punctuation, with misspelled words. And they'll be saying stupid shit like "plz spank me miztres" or "i want 2 lick the dog shit from ur feet" or "castrate me". The more articulate ones might tell you they're wearing frilly pink panties and stroking their little clitties while reading your ad. (What a turn on, huh?)

--

As for how exactly to make your requests known, I'm a bit beyond all that so I don't know what's popular, but I'm confident you don't need to know a lot of "proper nomenclature" - Just say what you want.

"Dominant woman interested in finding a man (in this area) for light bondage, spanking, verbal humiliation. Husband will be present for safety reasons."

(I know you said "flog" - but you might want to start with something a bit more gentle the first time.)

You might want to specify the husband will meet the man first, or you can both meet the man, for coffee or whatever, just to chat and see if you feel like they're a good match.

That will get you at least three men who claim they want her to castrate them, five who want to lick the dog poop from her feet, and seventeen who think the husband is going to do the spanking. Forty three will demand pictures of the wife while not actually indicating an interest in being tied up and spanked. Several dozen will actually want to be tied up, humiliated, and spanked. (By the way, I might be one of them, depending on your location.) Three of them will respond with complete sentences using proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar - and what they say will indicate they actually read and understood the ad.

You can add all sorts of caveats - the man's age range, height, weight, race or ethnicity, use (or non-use) of tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc etc etc.

Think about questions you might want to ask if and when you correspond, and when you meet. Does he have any medical conditions?

Let me know if you try this, and if my numbers were close. Good luck.

This is excellent advice. The Missus had similar desires (as the description that started this thread). We engaged in this kind of play on more than one occasion years ago. In those days, we'd advertise in a local rock n roll tabloid in the Cleveland area, which I don't think even exists anymore, Yes, we'd get all kinds of responses that were easy to dismiss then some that were potential playmates.

 

[HansKessler]

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

I would love to visit you and submit to your wife.

Not sure if this is a thing, but help me out here. Wife and I were pretty vanilla, explored a stag/vixen fantasy through role play, went to some sex clubs, and my wife has opened up and says she wants to get into some bdsm, tie up a guy, flog him, humiliate him, etc. We have a fairly equal relationship in and out of bed, but she likes me to be the lead in things and relatively more dominant overall. I suggested for the purposes of her fantasy, we could switch it up so she could try out being dominant, but she says she doesn't want to dominate me as it would ruin our dynamic and how she sees me. Fair enough, as I am not really into being tied up and whipped... But how do we go about finding the other guy to submit to her and let her experience her fantasy? Is there a name or description for this sort of situation?

Thoughts, tips, discussion, etc, please help us out.

I would love to meet you and your wife. I would submit to her dominance. I would like to know how turned on flogging and beating me would make her feel.

 

[Vitriolhack]

Anyone with a beating heart and an IQ above 3 who has any interest at all in Female Domination should be able to tell you that for every "dominant" woman out there, there's about a million "submissive" men. (Well, okay, maybe just a couple of hundred.) As someone with a lifelong interest in reading about it, role playing it, and trying (with limited success) to experience it for real, I can tell you that you won't have a problem finding a LOT of men who are "interested".

The big challenge is narrowing down the prospects.

But don't worry, most men are idiots, and most of the idiots make it easy to eliminate them from the competition.

If you "place an ad" or something like that, 95% will respond with sentences that aren't sentences, without capitalization or punctuation, with misspelled words. And they'll be saying stupid shit like "plz spank me miztres" or "i want 2 lick the dog shit from ur feet" or "castrate me". The more articulate ones might tell you they're wearing frilly pink panties and stroking their little clitties while reading your ad. (What a turn on, huh?)

--

As for how exactly to make your requests known, I'm a bit beyond all that so I don't know what's popular, but I'm confident you don't need to know a lot of "proper nomenclature" - Just say what you want.

"Dominant woman interested in finding a man (in this area) for light bondage, spanking, verbal humiliation. Husband will be present for safety reasons."

(I know you said "flog" - but you might want to start with something a bit more gentle the first time.)

You might want to specify the husband will meet the man first, or you can both meet the man, for coffee or whatever, just to chat and see if you feel like they're a good match.

That will get you at least three men who claim they want her to castrate them, five who want to lick the dog poop from her feet, and seventeen who think the husband is going to do the spanking. Forty three will demand pictures of the wife while not actually indicating an interest in being tied up and spanked. Several dozen will actually want to be tied up, humiliated, and spanked. (By the way, I might be one of them, depending on your location.) Three of them will respond with complete sentences using proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar - and what they say will indicate they actually read and understood the ad.

You can add all sorts of caveats - the man's age range, height, weight, race or ethnicity, use (or non-use) of tobacco, alcohol, drugs, etc etc etc.

Think about questions you might want to ask if and when you correspond, and when you meet. Does he have any medical conditions?

Let me know if you try this, and if my numbers were close. Good luck.

Agreed, most tend to forget that a couple looking for a third person means that both members need to mesh with the potential suitor.

The third person needs to understand that he is there to “help” the couple in their intimacy.

Maybe not bring up flogging on the first date! Just a thought.