Wife teases young stud at pool party story help!

[Sin_Nombre]

Hi, I would like some help with ideas on a story I want to write.

Plot is my wife and I are having a small pool party with some neighbours and someone brings their nephew who is a good looking early 20's athlete.
Wife is is late 30's, busty and curvy keeps catching him blatantly ogling her in her bikini.
This annoys my wife and to "teach him a lesson" she decides to torment him by deliberately teasing him. As the party gets smaller, my wife gets drunker and her teasing gets more raunchy (starts with bending over when he's looking, getting him to rub lotion on her, going topless in pool) and at some point she notices he's well hung which gets her horny. Then after I fall asleep from too many margaritas they end up having sex.

Other than the above teasing instances what else could happen and how do they go from the teasing to sex?

Any ideas or feedback much appreciated.
Thanks in advance!

 

[gunhilltrain]

Just curious, is this supposed to be your wife or simply the narrator's wife? Well, it couldn't be narrated by somebody who fell asleep before the main plot event.

Anyway, you seem to be asking us, "How do I write a story?" You seem to have a pretty basic plot worked out that takes place in a single evening. Maybe that's a good place to start off, with very short idea that can be executed in about one Lit page (about 3,700 words) or a bit more. Offhand, the only thing I'd be wondering about is how well this marriage was going before this happened. I'd guess not too well.

You probably want the wife to be a lot drunker than this guy is if she is going to seduce him. Also, most men don't perform that well sexually after drinking a lot of alcohol. Anything beyond those ideas becomes a needless complication. You might try to write it in the first person from the point of view of the young man, since he is the only one who seems to retain any control in the situation. If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.

 

[Carnevil9]

I agree with my esteemed colleague @gunhilltrain that you have a problem with POV. If the husband passes out, he can hardly be the narrator of the sexual action. The most obvious solution is to write it in third person omniscient. But that makes it much less personal and defuses some of the passion of the story.

One solution is to have the narrator pretend to pass out, yet retain enough consciousness to watch (and appreciate!) the action that he is witnessing. Another option is to switch POV to the wife or the nephew (but that can be clunky and difficult to pull off). Yet another option is to have the POV stay with the husband, who does pass out, but in the morning, the wife confesses all and tells him all about her adulterous actions with the nephew. Which of course turns him on to no end and leads to further furious sex between the husband and the wife.

But, back to your actual post, you seem to be asking about how to go from the teasing to the actual sex? That's just a matter of flirting, and you have to combine playful banter, subtle innuendo, casual touching, and small incremental risk taking until the physical consequences become inevitable! You can do it, just jump in and write it!

 

[DarkSollat]

To be honest you don't really need many instances of teasing. The young stud may be just captivated by what the wife does naturally.

But if you need some ideas:
* When she catches him staring, she put a long shirt. But when she decides to tease him, she take it off paaainfuuuly slooow.
* She constantly plays with her hair. (Many thinks it's superhot when a woman does that.)
* She exits the pool tge sexiest way possible.
* When she drinks fir a bottle, she put her lips around the tip and even slides it in an out.

More interesting is when tge sex begins. Are other people still there? Or they the only two left (except of sleeping husband)?

If the former, I'd send them to the kitchen for more supplies. The young stud retrieves heavy crates of bottles, and the wife is like "you're so strong! what else those big hard muscles can do?" and next "I think there is one more you're hiding" and grabs his crotch with loud "I was right!" She then kneels down and gives him a blowjob; it would be fun if the husband would come looking for his wife but the kitchen island hides her action. The same kitchen island the young stud next fuck her against.

If the latter, the husband passes on the sunbed, and the young stud stays to help with the cleaning. The wife is then like "let's go swimming!" but the young stud oposes (maybe he has a date planned?). But then she takes her top off and says "how about skinny dipping then?" This is an opportunity he cannot pass by and joins her. In the water she gets closer and closer to him until his back hit the wall - she then grabs his crotch or dives in and gives him an underwater blowjob. Later on he fucks her against the pool wall or eats her when she's perched on the edge when her husband sleeps nearby (he can briefly wake up during underwater blowjob but quickly returns to sleep).

Of course there's also an option that he's the one making the move after all this teasing. Then she may be initially relucant but in time succumbs to hus huge cock.

 

[Sin_Nombre]

Just curious, is this supposed to be your wife or simply the narrator's wife? Well, it couldn't be narrated by somebody who fell asleep before the main plot event.

Anyway, you seem to be asking us, "How do I write a story?" You seem to have a pretty basic plot worked out that takes place in a single evening. Maybe that's a good place to start off, with very short idea that can be executed in about one Lit page (about 3,700 words) or a bit more. Offhand, the only thing I'd be wondering about is how well this marriage was going before this happened. I'd guess not too well.

You probably want the wife to be a lot drunker than this guy is if she is going to seduce him. Also, most men don't perform that well sexually after drinking a lot of alcohol. Anything beyond those ideas becomes a needless complication. You might try to write it in the first person from the point of view of the young man, since he is the only one who seems to retain any control in the situation. If I think of anything else, I'll let you know.

Thank you for your feed back, I'm quite clueless when it comes to POV. I've written a previous story from my POV, and found it interesting to re-write it from my wifes POV, and the other guys POV!

 

[Sin_Nombre]

I agree with my esteemed colleague @gunhilltrain that you have a problem with POV. If the husband passes out, he can hardly be the narrator of the sexual action. The most obvious solution is to write it in third person omniscient. But that makes it much less personal and defuses some of the passion of the story.

One solution is to have the narrator pretend to pass out, yet retain enough consciousness to watch (and appreciate!) the action that he is witnessing. Another option is to switch POV to the wife or the nephew (but that can be clunky and difficult to pull off). Yet another option is to have the POV stay with the husband, who does pass out, but in the morning, the wife confesses all and tells him all about her adulterous actions with the nephew. Which of course turns him on to no end and leads to further furious sex between the husband and the wife.

But, back to your actual post, you seem to be asking about how to go from the teasing to the actual sex? That's just a matter of flirting, and you have to combine playful banter, subtle innuendo, casual touching, and small incremental risk taking until the physical consequences become inevitable! You can do it, just jump in and write it!

Thanks for the feedback and encouragement. POV is something I need to research

 

[Sin_Nombre]

To be honest you don't really need many instances of teasing. The young stud may be just captivated by what the wife does naturally.

But if you need some ideas:
* When she catches him staring, she put a long shirt. But when she decides to tease him, she take it off paaainfuuuly slooow.
* She constantly plays with her hair. (Many thinks it's superhot when a woman does that.)
* She exits the pool tge sexiest way possible.
* When she drinks fir a bottle, she put her lips around the tip and even slides it in an out.

More interesting is when tge sex begins. Are other people still there? Or they the only two left (except of sleeping husband)?

If the former, I'd send them to the kitchen for more supplies. The young stud retrieves heavy crates of bottles, and the wife is like "you're so strong! what else those big hard muscles can do?" and next "I think there is one more you're hiding" and grabs his crotch with loud "I was right!" She then kneels down and gives him a blowjob; it would be fun if the husband would come looking for his wife but the kitchen island hides her action. The same kitchen island the young stud next fuck her against.

If the latter, the husband passes on the sunbed, and the young stud stays to help with the cleaning. The wife is then like "let's go swimming!" but the young stud oposes (maybe he has a date planned?). But then she takes her top off and says "how about skinny dipping then?" This is an opportunity he cannot pass by and joins her. In the water she gets closer and closer to him until his back hit the wall - she then grabs his crotch or dives in and gives him an underwater blowjob. Later on he fucks her against the pool wall or eats her when she's perched on the edge when her husband sleeps nearby (he can briefly wake up during underwater blowjob but quickly returns to sleep).

Of course there's also an option that he's the one making the move after all this teasing. Then she may be initially relucant but in time succumbs to hus huge cock.

Thank you for the suggestions! I suppose for the story to progress either 1) wife has to become so horny she decides to force herself on guy or 2) young stud decides to try his luck once husband is asleep, and wife cant say no!

 

[Rob_Royale]

Thank you for your feed back, I'm quite clueless when it comes to POV. I've written a previous story from my POV, and found it interesting to re-write it from my wifes POV, and the other guys POV!

Yes, writing from the third person would slim up this idea and allow you to visit the minds of all three. As for the teasing, not much more is necessary, once you've written it out, visited what the participants are thinking, and added some really sexy dialog, it will just fall into place. It's not any more difficult to write third person, though it might seem that way, you are just shifting perspective. From a single viewpoint, to as if you are describing what a camera sees from above the scene.

First person.
I was stunned when Mrs. Smith untied her bikini top and dropped it to the pool deck. I couldn't take my eyes off her amazing breasts.

Third person.
Jason's jaw dropped when he saw Mrs. Smith remove her bikini top. If she noticed his stare as she sat down on the chaise, she gave no sign.

 

[lc69hunter]

I agree with my esteemed colleague @gunhilltrain that you have a problem with POV. If the husband passes out, he can hardly be the narrator of the sexual action. The most obvious solution is to write it in third person omniscient. But that makes it much less personal and defuses some of the passion of the story.

One solution is to have the narrator pretend to pass out, yet retain enough consciousness to watch (and appreciate!) the action that he is witnessing. Another option is to switch POV to the wife or the nephew (but that can be clunky and difficult to pull off). Yet another option is to have the POV stay with the husband, who does pass out, but in the morning, the wife confesses all and tells him all about her adulterous actions with the nephew. Which of course turns him on to no end and leads to further furious sex between the husband and the wife.

But, back to your actual post, you seem to be asking about how to go from the teasing to the actual sex? That's just a matter of flirting, and you have to combine playful banter, subtle innuendo, casual touching, and small incremental risk taking until the physical consequences become inevitable! You can do it, just jump in and write it!

Your latest should have a much higher score than it does. But the 1-bombers apparently got to you

 

[gunhilltrain]

I agree with my esteemed colleague @gunhilltrain that you have a problem with POV. If the husband passes out, he can hardly be the narrator of the sexual action. The most obvious solution is to write it in third person omniscient. But that makes it much less personal and defuses some of the passion of the story.

One solution is to have the narrator pretend to pass out, yet retain enough consciousness to watch (and appreciate!) the action that he is witnessing. Another option is to switch POV to the wife or the nephew (but that can be clunky and difficult to pull off). Yet another option is to have the POV stay with the husband, who does pass out, but in the morning, the wife confesses all and tells him all about her adulterous actions with the nephew. Which of course turns him on to no end and leads to further furious sex between the husband and the wife.

But, back to your actual post, you seem to be asking about how to go from the teasing to the actual sex? That's just a matter of flirting, and you have to combine playful banter, subtle innuendo, casual touching, and small incremental risk taking until the physical consequences become inevitable! You can do it, just jump in and write it!

Gee, since when have I become "esteemed?" Thanks; hope I can live up to that. Third person omniscient is one option. Having the young guy as the POV is another. Doing it in first person: you have to be aware that the narrator is bringing they're own experiences and perhaps biases to the scene. In fiction, the idea of the "unreliable narrator" - someone who just makes up some events - is used a lot, but it seems like a gimmick to me.

The idea of the husband actually watching and appreciating it all - the notorious "cuck" situation - is used on Lit a lot. It drives people crazy in the Loving Wives category, but otherwise readers usually accept it.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Thank you for your feed back, I'm quite clueless when it comes to POV. I've written a previous story from my POV, and found it interesting to re-write it from my wifes POV, and the other guys POV!

So it is your wife and yourself that you imagine as characters? I have used some material of my own (now ended) marriage for stories. The main plots are fiction, but some of the details may be true. If I have some version of myself as a narrator, he will be a somewhat but not entirely different kind of person. (He will be more assertive than I usually am in real life, for example.)

It was helpful to be able to describe one of the apartments we actually had - the location and the layout. The amount of detail I use in describing locations can vary a lot according to what I think is useful in the story.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Thanks for the feedback and encouragement. POV is something I need to research

Things like POV and location are difficult to research, because I think it's very intuitive. It's like asking, "Where did I get this idea from?" Somehow it comes out of your subconscious mind and as a writer you make it tangible. I know, that sounds a bit difficult to grasp, but I don't want to use too many examples at this point.

 

[Carnevil9]

Your latest should have a much higher score than it does. But the 1-bombers apparently got to you

You mean the voice mail story? Thanks! I don't mind the 1-bombers. Some people got the concept; others didn't. It was actually kind of an experiment in extreme POV storytelling, to keep on-topic.

 

[Sin_Nombre]

To be honest you don't really need many instances of teasing. The young stud may be just captivated by what the wife does naturally.

But if you need some ideas:
* When she catches him staring, she put a long shirt. But when she decides to tease him, she take it off paaainfuuuly slooow.
* She constantly plays with her hair. (Many thinks it's superhot when a woman does that.)
* She exits the pool tge sexiest way possible.
* When she drinks fir a bottle, she put her lips around the tip and even slides it in an out.

More interesting is when tge sex begins. Are other people still there? Or they the only two left (except of sleeping husband)?

If the former, I'd send them to the kitchen for more supplies. The young stud retrieves heavy crates of bottles, and the wife is like "you're so strong! what else those big hard muscles can do?" and next "I think there is one more you're hiding" and grabs his crotch with loud "I was right!" She then kneels down and gives him a blowjob; it would be fun if the husband would come looking for his wife but the kitchen island hides her action. The same kitchen island the young stud next fuck her against.

If the latter, the husband passes on the sunbed, and the young stud stays to help with the cleaning. The wife is then like "let's go swimming!" but the young stud oposes (maybe he has a date planned?). But then she takes her top off and says "how about skinny dipping then?" This is an opportunity he cannot pass by and joins her. In the water she gets closer and closer to him until his back hit the wall - she then grabs his crotch or dives in and gives him an underwater blowjob. Later on he fucks her against the pool wall or eats her when she's perched on the edge when her husband sleeps nearby (he can briefly wake up during underwater blowjob but quickly returns to sleep).

Of course there's also an option that he's the one making the move after all this teasing. Then she may be initially relucant but in time succumbs to hus huge cock.

I'm going to have a go at writing it. Would any of you want to read it and give feedback ? As you literally helped write it haha. Thanks for the help

 

[Rob_Royale]

I'll give it a go.

 

[gunhilltrain]

I'm going to have a go at writing it. Would any of you want to read it and give feedback ? As you literally helped write it haha. Thanks for the help

You can just link to it in the Story Feedback section if you wish.

 

[DarkSollat]

I'm going to have a go at writing it. Would any of you want to read it and give feedback ? As you literally helped write it haha. Thanks for the help

Yeah, sure

 

[CuttingEdge]

Yes, writing from the third person would slim up this idea and allow you to visit the minds of all three. As for the teasing, not much more is necessary, once you've written it out, visited what the participants are thinking, and added some really sexy dialog, it will just fall into place. It's not any more difficult to write third person, though it might seem that way, you are just shifting perspective. From a single viewpoint, to as if you are describing what a camera sees from above the scene.

First person.
I was stunned when Mrs. Smith untied her bikini top and dropped it to the pool deck. I couldn't take my eyes off her amazing breasts.

Third person.
Jason's jaw dropped when he saw Mrs. Smith remove her bikini top. If she noticed his stare as she sat down on the chaise, she gave no sign.

One thing never to discount either is SECOND PERSON point of view.

It is kind of difficult to master, but can be very powerful when done well, and lends itself to erotica stories extremely well. What I found is, the writer has to get the details just right. Since it becomes so personal, the personal details MUST be right.

Let's say in this example I am the wife, writing about the husband watching the nephew view me.

In watching you, watch my nephew, I just knew, I had to take off my top. Not just anywhere mind you, I could have done that in the water, the bubbling caldron of the hot tub obscuring the view of my bare chest, but that is not what you wanted. Hell, it was not what I wanted. You had long known what it was like to put your mouth over my hardened nipples and nibble upon my firmed ends. To look up in my blue eyes and see the luscious glint of lust..."

In that passage, you see the power of second person point of view, but also see the limitations. Its all great as long as your wife has blue eyes, but if she has green eyes, suddenly you think, "but my wife has green ones", and its no longer a relevant story. Its why it can be very powerful, but the details have to be right.

 

[MikeXIrons]

Hi, I would like some help with ideas on a story I want to write.

Plot is my wife and I are having a small pool party with some neighbours and someone brings their nephew who is a good looking early 20's athlete.
Wife is is late 30's, busty and curvy keeps catching him blatantly ogling her in her bikini.
This annoys my wife and to "teach him a lesson" she decides to torment him by deliberately teasing him. As the party gets smaller, my wife gets drunker and her teasing gets more raunchy (starts with bending over when he's looking, getting him to rub lotion on her, going topless in pool) and at some point she notices he's well hung which gets her horny. Then after I fall asleep from too many margaritas they end up having sex.

Other than the above teasing instances what else could happen and how do they go from the teasing to sex?

Any ideas or feedback much appreciated.
Thanks in advance!

I've always liked the scenarios when a wife innocently or mistakenly finds herself in situations where things go a little too far... then further... inch by inch.

During your pool party there might be some opportunities for them to "innocently" get close. Maybe there's a hot tub by the pool? She gets in to give him a teasing view of her legs as she enters and her breasts bobbing just above the water once she's in. But, then, you and/or other people join as well and she has to slide over to make room... and finds herself beside the young stud, unable to avoid the occasional innocent underwater touching of legs, or a hand on a thigh, etc.

Or maybe a game of Marco Polo or tag in the pool leads to some underwater hands-on-hips. Or a game of pool basketball or monkey-in-the-middle leads to him playfully grasping her and pulling her into his grasp... so strong and forcefully that she is surprised at how much her body reacts.

 

[jaF0]

Crap, this is another one I did.

In mine, the story was told by an omnipresent third party narrator, mixed with first party dialog. But I used a mature (50something widow) as the seductress. No family of her own. After much of the teasing you mention, she's laying back on a recliner tanning. She opens her eyes to see the stud standing over her as she says, 'Oh my, is that all for me?'

For our, you could let the husband either:

> Pretend to pass out and watch from barely closed/opened eyes.
> Says he's tired and go into the house where he watches from a window.
> Really pass out and miss it all, but watch later on the security camera video.

 

[Sin_Nombre]

I've always liked the scenarios when a wife innocently or mistakenly finds herself in situations where things go a little too far... then further... inch by inch.

During your pool party there might be some opportunities for them to "innocently" get close. Maybe there's a hot tub by the pool? She gets in to give him a teasing view of her legs as she enters and her breasts bobbing just above the water once she's in. But, then, you and/or other people join as well and she has to slide over to make room... and finds herself beside the young stud, unable to avoid the occasional innocent underwater touching of legs, or a hand on a thigh, etc.

Or maybe a game of Marco Polo or tag in the pool leads to some underwater hands-on-hips. Or a game of pool basketball or monkey-in-the-middle leads to him playfully grasping her and pulling her into his grasp... so strong and forcefully that she is surprised at how much her body reacts.

Sounds like we have similar taste!
The hot tub bit sounds sexy as hell, but I don't think I can fit it into this story.
Maybe a sequel where the roles are reversed and he teases her!

 

[Sin_Nombre]

I'll give it a go.

So I've finished the story, but have not submitted it as it will be rejected and need editing. Can I still send you a copy to read over and give feedback. Can include pic of said wife for visual purposes haha

 

[Rob_Royale]

So I've finished the story, but have not submitted it as it will be rejected and need editing. Can I still send you a copy to read over and give feedback. Can include pic of said wife for visual purposes haha

I'm sending you a PM.