Wife going on business trip

[hiker283]

My wife informed me a couple of hours ago she has to go to Seattle on Thursday to see a client. She said she should be home Saturday afternoon, maybe early evening. Usually when she goes up to see him each month she only stays one night but this time she says it is longer because of the year end accounting. I am just about positive she sleeps with him when she is up there. I am wondering if I should say something either before she goes or after she gets back.

 

[Britva415]

First of all: Like what, what would you want to say?

Second: How sure are you? I can see this going very, very badly if it's either not true or if she is really trying to keep it secret.

 

[hiker283]

First of all: Like what, what would you want to say?

Second: How sure are you? I can see this going very, very badly if it's either not true or if she is really trying to keep it secret.

I don't know what to say. That she has had sex with other men is no secret from me. I am just thinking of telling her I know, or am pretty sure I know about this one. It isn't jealousy so much as this time being a two night trip.

How sure? Well, she comes home happy and then wants sex with me, like reconnecting maybe. I have also checked her panties and I am sure there are semen stains on them sometimes. I also found out she never pays for a hotel room when she is up there.

 

[Shaglus_Ziegler]

I like honesty. Husband and wife that don't talk about major shit like that? Just not my thing. And i am open to my wife getting it on, but we gotta be in on it together, like we both like it. I don't know how you like things to be, I just don't like being a chump. and, it ain't about the sex it's just that this time is longer?? c'mon. there's a whole lot going on in you, no judgment, we all have our things, but be honest with yourself first and see where you really stand and then you can move into what you want to do regarding her. Just my perspective. good luck...

 

[MRaith]

Don’t fear repercussions from asking a sincere question. Be honest and reveal how you cane to your current state.

Remember: you cannot control her emotions--only your own. If you intonate condemnation, she will react however she's going to react. If you feel insecure and need your wife's assurances after past infidelity, you should make that clear.

 

[Justfantasies]

My wife informed me a couple of hours ago she has to go to Seattle on Thursday to see a client. She said she should be home Saturday afternoon, maybe early evening. Usually when she goes up to see him each month she only stays one night but this time she says it is longer because of the year end accounting. I am just about positive she sleeps with him when she is up there. I am wondering if I should say something either before she goes or after she gets back.

Depends. Not to be mentioned for sure if you aren't sure. But if you are, does it excite you -- just a little bit?

 

[luckyseven]

Depends. Not to be mentioned for sure if you aren't sure. But if you are, does it excite you -- just a little bit?

It would excite me if I knew my wife would be willing to sleep with her client or co-worker when away on business.

 

[Justfantasies]

It would excite me if I knew my wife would be willing to sleep with her client or co-worker when away on business.

Then what you really want is for you to tell you about it -- get her to confess. Maybe she'll enjoy teasing you with her infidelity

 

[Scotchlander]

I like honesty. Husband and wife that don't talk about major shit like that? Just not my thing. And i am open to my wife getting it on, but we gotta be in on it together, like we both like it. I don't know how you like things to be, I just don't like being a chump. and, it ain't about the sex it's just that this time is longer?? c'mon. there's a whole lot going on in you, no judgment, we all have our things, but be honest with yourself first and see where you really stand and then you can move into what you want to do regarding her. Just my perspective. good luck...

I was going to say the same.

Couples should be honest with each other.

Several years back an ex g/f lied through her teeth, and we ended up finishing.

If she had just been honest, I would have told her to enjoy herself, rather than all the lies and dishonesty.

 

[luckyseven]

Then what you really want is for you to tell you about it -- get her to confess. Maybe she'll enjoy teasing you with her infidelity

I'm sure she would enjoy teasing me about what they got up to as she knows that would really turn me on, but just leave enough to make my imagination run wild. I know she loves to play when away from home.

 

[Justfantasies]

I'm sure she would enjoy teasing me about what they got up to as she knows that would really turn me on, but just leave enough to make my imagination run wild. I know she loves to play when away from home.

Just treat the whole thing as a giggle and see if she opens up

 

[luckyseven]

Just treat the whole thing as a giggle and see if she opens up

We are open enough to realise that she would if the opportunity arose. I wouldn't be too concerned, provided she was open, honest, and had no other underlying issues.

Recreational sex isn't going to destroy our relationship - we are too open-minded about such matters.

 

[Justfantasies]

We are open enough to realise that she would if the opportunity arose. I wouldn't be too concerned, provided she was open, honest, and had no other underlying issues.

Recreational sex isn't going to destroy our relationship - we are too open-minded about such matters.

So she's done it before?

 

[Greytruck]

When my wife worked she traveled once a month to chicago.
stayed a long weekend..
sometimes I’d go others wasn’t able too.
I wondered if she ever had a lover. She used to tell me about the guys at the
chicago office and how cute some were..
was a great fantasy to think of her in bed with another man.. maybe women?

 

[luckyseven]

So she's done it before?

Yes, but she doesn't always say so - I leave that to my imagination.

 

[luckyseven]

When my wife worked she traveled once a month to chicago.
stayed a long weekend..
sometimes I’d go others wasn’t able too.
I wondered if she ever had a lover. She used to tell me about the guys at the
chicago office and how cute some were..
was a great fantasy to think of her in bed with another man.. maybe women?

That was when I had my first suspicion when my wife started saying the same things. It eventually came out, and it was arousing when she started to tell me what happened and why.

 

[Greytruck]

That was when I had my first suspicion when my wife started saying the same things. It eventually came out, and it was arousing when she started to tell me what happened and why.

She never said flat out but I wondered. And not in a jealous way. I was more excited.

 

[Justfantasies]

Yes, but she doesn't always say so - I leave that to my imagination.

But deep inside you know? How many do you think -- lovers since before you got married

 

[luckyseven]

She never said flat out but I wondered. And not in a jealous way. I was more excited.

I think many men are not jealous but curious to find out, as it is a natural reaction to know why and what happened.

 

[luckyseven]

But deep inside you know? How many do you think -- lovers since before you got married

Yes, if you have been with someone for a long time, you can't fail to notice how she reacts. How many times? That's a difficult one, but probably more than I think - but numbers are just numbers. She had many lovers before we got married, and I knew she enjoyed sex with other men. Why not? Men enjoy sex with other women. Just be open and honest.

Does it matter how many times your partner has fucked someone since starting a serious relationship?

 

[Justfantasies]

Yes, if you have been with someone for a long time, you can't fail to notice how she reacts. How many times? That's a difficult one, but probably more than I think - but numbers are just numbers. She had many lovers before we got married, and I knew she enjoyed sex with other men. Why not? Men enjoy sex with other women. Just be open and honest.

Does it matter how many times your partner has fucked someone since starting a serious relationship?

If she is experienced and cute, it's the natural thing for her to do. Is she cute?

 

[luckyseven]

If she is experienced and cute, it's the natural thing for her to do. Is she cute?

In my opinion, she is sexually desirable and most certainly sexually experienced - some people just have more active libidos and enjoy sexual variety.

Was that a common thread with your partners?

 

[Justfantasies]

In my opinion, she is sexually desirable and most certainly sexually experienced - some people just have more active libidos and enjoy sexual variety.

Was that a common thread with your partners?

Very much so

 

[luckyseven]

Very much so

Men and women need to be more open to their sexual needs - we have too many hang-ups and monogamy is more outdated than ever before. recreational sex doesn't have to destroy a relationship, and in many ways, it can strengthen it, provided we are open, honest and not prone to jealousy - envious of the opportunity but not jealous and spiteful.

 

[Justfantasies]

Men and women need to be more open to their sexual needs - we have too many hang-ups and monogamy is more outdated than ever before. recreational sex doesn't have to destroy a relationship, and in many ways, it can strengthen it, provided we are open, honest and not prone to jealousy - envious of the opportunity but not jealous and spiteful.

Yes I agree. I have never been the jealous type, so it has always been easy for me.