Wife can't handle my level of kink

[Hornyhusband2017]

I met my wife in late 2015 and she was already into the bondage stuff. My only experience in bondage was a pair of fuzzy cuffs lol. Once we got together, she introduced it to me, showing me her ropes and toys. I had alot of fun tying her up and getting her off with fucking her. Anywho, some time later I'm browsing the world of Porn and stumble across something called Hotwife porn. I was intrigued. Next thing I know, that's all I'm watching and fantasies start to develop.

It's 2023 now and my level of kink, naughtiness, fetish whatever, I feel has surpassed what she's comfortable with. She's aware of my desire for her to become my Hotwife/Stag and Vixen but she's very resistant to it. Now, we have 4 young kids so that may contribute to her resistance. She's also very strong in her Christian beliefs and is saying that she values our vows more than that.

I'm stuck. I love her to death and she's the mother of my kids but I don't know what to do about my strong desires. I'm happy in our marriage yet not entirely satisfied in the sex department due to her lack of furthering her adventurous nature.

She has FFM in the past but apparently those didn't end well for her and she refuses to try that again. Understandable but I'm not looking for FFM. I want to share her with other men. She ALMOST let it happen a while back but I guess she thought about it too much and backed out. The guy we were going to do it with is a really good friend of mine, I grew up with him and we even lived next door to him for a period of time. Hell, she's even flashed him, alcohol was involved tho lol.

If anyone has some solid advice, I'm all ears.

 

[Bisexguy70]

As we talked before. Id love to share yoir kinks. I wouldnt mind being tied up and force fed your cock. Ive seen the pics and it looks like such a hot cock to suck. My wife has no sex drive so thats when i strictly started playing with men. Ive done a lot of kinky things and even had some very hot 3 ways.

 

[Wonderer67]

You can talk about it and hopefully just keep conversation going. Being open and honest is key. And communication is key in all relationships.

That does not mean that she will com around to your way of thinking however. It’s just as important to accept your partner’s limits.

My wife is the same. strong sex drive, but fairly vanilla. And I want to explore soooooo many things that she is not into: D/s, swapping, bisexuality etc.

We can talk about it all, but she is very monogamous and that’s that.

I would never cheat so i have one happy with what I have, which is really good.

But you have to figure out what works best for you and her.

 

[jomar]

How do the marriage vows come into the reasoning for her declining the hot wife role? Even the “forsaking all others,” if that was part of yours, could have a personal interpretation unique to your marriage (e.g., forsaking all others in love). So maybe you got some wiggle room there. Maybe explore religious guilt? Feelings about you that you want to share her and what it might say about her if she came to embrace it?

In the meantime, maybe some sexy fantasy dirty talk will work a bit for you. It’s possible she could really get into it if she doesn’t get the vibe you’re grooming or pressing her. Maybe combine it with the bondage fun.

 

[Hornyhusband2017]

How do the marriage vows come into the reasoning for her declining the hot wife role? Even the “forsaking all others,” if that was part of yours, could have a personal interpretation unique to your marriage (e.g., forsaking all others in love). So maybe you got some wiggle room there. Maybe explore religious guilt? Feelings about you that you want to share her and what it might say about her if she came to embrace it?

In the meantime, maybe some sexy fantasy dirty talk will work a bit for you. It’s possible she could really get into it if she doesn’t get the vibe you’re grooming or pressing her. Maybe combine it with the bondage fun.

I'll keep that in mind. She has enjoyed getting DP'ed with toys n what not

 

[BusterGood]

I feel you. Wife won’t have any discussion of 3 way play but if I stick a couple fingers in her mouth and say suck it while I’m plow her from behind, it’s an immediate O. Crazy.

 

[CuckGuy89]

I met my wife in late 2015 and she was already into the bondage stuff. My only experience in bondage was a pair of fuzzy cuffs lol. Once we got together, she introduced it to me, showing me her ropes and toys. I had alot of fun tying her up and getting her off with fucking her. Anywho, some time later I'm browsing the world of Porn and stumble across something called Hotwife porn. I was intrigued. Next thing I know, that's all I'm watching and fantasies start to develop.

It's 2023 now and my level of kink, naughtiness, fetish whatever, I feel has surpassed what she's comfortable with. She's aware of my desire for her to become my Hotwife/Stag and Vixen but she's very resistant to it. Now, we have 4 young kids so that may contribute to her resistance. She's also very strong in her Christian beliefs and is saying that she values our vows more than that.

I'm stuck. I love her to death and she's the mother of my kids but I don't know what to do about my strong desires. I'm happy in our marriage yet not entirely satisfied in the sex department due to her lack of furthering her adventurous nature.

She has FFM in the past but apparently those didn't end well for her and she refuses to try that again. Understandable but I'm not looking for FFM. I want to share her with other men. She ALMOST let it happen a while back but I guess she thought about it too much and backed out. The guy we were going to do it with is a really good friend of mine, I grew up with him and we even lived next door to him for a period of time. Hell, she's even flashed him, alcohol was involved tho lol.

If anyone has some solid advice, I'm all ears.

Ask her if she would be interested in roleplaying with you. That can lead to a lot of things

 

[cypressknee]

I met my wife in late 2015 and she was already into the bondage stuff. My only experience in bondage was a pair of fuzzy cuffs lol. Once we got together, she introduced it to me, showing me her ropes and toys. I had alot of fun tying her up and getting her off with fucking her. Anywho, some time later I'm browsing the world of Porn and stumble across something called Hotwife porn. I was intrigued. Next thing I know, that's all I'm watching and fantasies start to develop.

It's 2023 now and my level of kink, naughtiness, fetish whatever, I feel has surpassed what she's comfortable with. She's aware of my desire for her to become my Hotwife/Stag and Vixen but she's very resistant to it. Now, we have 4 young kids so that may contribute to her resistance. She's also very strong in her Christian beliefs and is saying that she values our vows more than that.

I'm stuck. I love her to death and she's the mother of my kids but I don't know what to do about my strong desires. I'm happy in our marriage yet not entirely satisfied in the sex department due to her lack of furthering her adventurous nature.

She has FFM in the past but apparently those didn't end well for her and she refuses to try that again. Understandable but I'm not looking for FFM. I want to share her with other men. She ALMOST let it happen a while back but I guess she thought about it too much and backed out. The guy we were going to do it with is a really good friend of mine, I grew up with him and we even lived next door to him for a period of time. Hell, she's even flashed him, alcohol was involved tho lol.

If anyone has some solid advice, I'm all ears.

I am pretty much in the same boat. I had a much wilder single life than she did. I think that has a lot to do with it.

 

[emme8]

Love your wife. Be devoted to her. And make her life easier in every way possible. Do NOT ever encourage her to push a limit while her judgement could be impaired by and substance.
You've only been with her 8 years and you still have young children. Hang in there through the rough patch of raising the little kids. You have another 40 years to explore kink together. Do not rush it, enjoy every step along the way.
Hopefully in a very safe loving way you can fantasize together. You might be surprised what naughty things she keeps buried very deep in her mind.


I love my children but the thought of another set of diapers and needs and all scares the libido out of me. Plus who will the child resemble. Not worth it.
Trust me when the kids are grown and she has a 100% reliable birth control sex drives and such start to change. Hubby bided his time. Patiently exposed some of his deep dark secrets. He talked me through mine, often while teasing my clit and me about my Literotica account.
eventually, and on my own terms, I chatted with some men on here until finally I was ready.

but even now it's surprising to me how vulnerable our relationship can make us despite our otherwise strong marriage. Just last night I'm arranging a date with Dom, and giving hubby just a hand job. And hubby asks me, I'm not going to lose you to him?

Seriously, be patient

 

[CuttingEdge]

Welcome to life as a married adult.

Just about everyone is in a relationship where they wished their spouse would do this and this, or like that and that, and yet they don't.

But here is the thing. Thinking another person is out there who will do everything you want sexually, is a fallacy. We are just complex beings and no other person will entirely line up with our desires. We are us, and they are them, and while it may seem like some people are better matched for sexual wants, will they be compatible in other areas of life? Sex in a marriage is important, but not everything. Learning to be content with what you have is so important in life, and yes, even sexual pursuits.

On this site it can seem that guys have wives that just do it all, but remember this is the internet and many people lie. What they claim is true is only fantasy, or a warped mind thinking something happened that never did.

Myself, I have wife-shared, and can tell you this, while I did share my wife, through no fault of hers or mine, what I have always wanted to experience, just never happened. Things never lined up right, even though she was willing, and so was I. We always though it would happen the next time she was shared, but wife-sharing ended for us before what I wanted, ever happened. So even if I did do something few husbands get to experience, it still was not fully-gratifying. Learning to live with unachieved thrills is just part of life, and marriage.

Celebrate all that she is, what she will do, and not concentrate on what she won't. You have four kids that will later thank you.

 

[Gator66]

I appreciate your post and the sense of frustration that you've expressed is palpable. Earlier in my life I struggled with a real sexual disconnection with my wife when our three children were young which very much contributed to the end of our marriage. I couldn't relate to her or understand her perspective, but women have very different needs when being a mom and wife and I'd suggest that you speak to a therapist so that you gain a better understanding of where she is at and how you can find fulfillment. Hope this helps and I wish you all the best. Peace, g.

 

[Purple_Fronds]

Love your wife. Be devoted to her. And make her life easier in every way possible. Do NOT ever encourage her to push a limit while her judgement could be impaired by and substance.
You've only been with her 8 years and you still have young children. Hang in there through the rough patch of raising the little kids. You have another 40 years to explore kink together. Do not rush it, enjoy every step along the way.
Hopefully in a very safe loving way you can fantasize together. You might be surprised what naughty things she keeps buried very deep in her mind.


I love my children but the thought of another set of diapers and needs and all scares the libido out of me. Plus who will the child resemble. Not worth it.
Trust me when the kids are grown and she has a 100% reliable birth control sex drives and such start to change. Hubby bided his time. Patiently exposed some of his deep dark secrets. He talked me through mine, often while teasing my clit and me about my Literotica account.
eventually, and on my own terms, I chatted with some men on here until finally I was ready.

but even now it's surprising to me how vulnerable our relationship can make us despite our otherwise strong marriage. Just last night I'm arranging a date with Dom, and giving hubby just a hand job. And hubby asks me, I'm not going to lose you to him?

Seriously, be patient

Fantastic advice, when I see these posts asking for advice it seems it’s about getting her to do what you want.

for the op, I get that it’s a craving but to say that she can’t handle your level of kink seems very unfair, it seems more accurate to say she doesn’t share your , very specific kink and that’s very different.

Emme’s advice of spending more thought on what your wife wants is always a good place to start. I’m also sure that from reading the forums you’d agree that a wife you love, who has interest in sex and kink is pretty fantastic place to be.

As someone that is very kinky and has more than a few fetishes, I try to remind myself that our brains aren’t always our friends, they push us to seek out more but the consequences can be massive and as in most cases involving other people everybody gets a vote. What feels like the next step to heightened pleasure might be the one that takes you over cliff.

Good luck.

 

[PhiloDaddy]

Dude. Rejoice in her faithfulness to you and God... meanwhile communicate with her about your fantasies and the current state of your sex life. Find the middle ground.

Meanwhile, you may just need to do some root cause analysis and find out why you're craving certain scenarios. The brain loves all those chemicals adventure and orgasms give us. Consider whether you're getting addicted to the overload to your neurons. Maybe do a "fast" from porn? Maybe give your wife control over the sexual agenda?

The most important thing is to realize that loving her is more important than loving you.

 

[Hornyhusband2017]

So some movement on my quest to get her to be more adventurous/hotwife. Yesterday during my lunch break, me and the wife got to finally have some true kid free uninterrupted quality time. Of course we went straight for the bedroom. Started out like any other fuck session, me eating her out and getting her off atleast once before she gets the dick. Once she'd came, we started fuckin, it didn't take long for her to reach her second orgasm.

I wanted to try something we hadn't tried, with much success in the past. I grabbed our newest "friend", an 11 inch All American Whopper curved dildo. It's the biggest one yet weve played with. It has a suction cup base to it, and boy did it not disappoint. Stuck to the wall like a pro. Anyways, I had the wife back up to the wall as close as she could and I got in front her. Let the spit roast begin.

I got her going in a good rhythm then she opened her mouth and took my cock. For a solid 10 minutes, she sucked, choked, gagged, screamed and moaned as me and our "friend" fucked her. For the first time in a long time, I got to unload completely in her mouth. AND SHE SWALLOWED! Lol it's been a while. I pulled out as I was spent, but she stayed and using the Le Wand vibrator and the cock, got herself off once more.

Afterwards, she made it very clear that was fuckin hot and would love to do it again. Sooo, with that, I'm holding out hope that maybe after a few of those practice spitroast sessions, I might be able to convince her to try it for real...just once, to see if she'd like it more with a real cock. She was one happy wife the rest of the day.

 

[wifewatcher1997]

Keep the conversations going and be open and honest with her.

Your relationship with her and your kids are the top priority and I completely understand all your feelings and emotions.

 

[live4thebj]

Trying to push your fetish onto another IMHO is NEVER a good idea. If you want to share your fetish then do so but don’t push it on them. If they are interested they will bite and if they don’t then oh well. I have shared fetishes before but I never pushed. My current fiancé is completely oblivious to my incest fetish.

 

[mrdiscreet2]

So some movement on my quest to get her to be more adventurous/hotwife. Yesterday during my lunch break, me and the wife got to finally have some true kid free uninterrupted quality time. Of course we went straight for the bedroom. Started out like any other fuck session, me eating her out and getting her off atleast once before she gets the dick. Once she'd came, we started fuckin, it didn't take long for her to reach her second orgasm.

I wanted to try something we hadn't tried, with much success in the past. I grabbed our newest "friend", an 11 inch All American Whopper curved dildo. It's the biggest one yet weve played with. It has a suction cup base to it, and boy did it not disappoint. Stuck to the wall like a pro. Anyways, I had the wife back up to the wall as close as she could and I got in front her. Let the spit roast begin.

I got her going in a good rhythm then she opened her mouth and took my cock. For a solid 10 minutes, she sucked, choked, gagged, screamed and moaned as me and our "friend" fucked her. For the first time in a long time, I got to unload completely in her mouth. AND SHE SWALLOWED! Lol it's been a while. I pulled out as I was spent, but she stayed and using the Le Wand vibrator and the cock, got herself off once more.

Afterwards, she made it very clear that was fuckin hot and would love to do it again. Sooo, with that, I'm holding out hope that maybe after a few of those practice spitroast sessions, I might be able to convince her to try it for real...just once, to see if she'd like it more with a real cock. She was one happy wife the rest of the day.

She sounds a bit kinky to me! It might not be as far as you want, but she sounds GGG. Give her some time.

 

[TravisAW]

Trying to push your fetish onto another IMHO is NEVER a good idea. If you want to share your fetish then do so but don’t push it on them. If they are interested they will bite and if they don’t then oh well. I have shared fetishes before but I never pushed. My current fiancé is completely oblivious to my incest fetish.

Totally agree with this. Pretending that dildo is a real guy is the next logical step - let her back up to it and get it inside her. Lie underneath her, kissing her while she gets her rhythm going and just suggest things like "imagine if he's real, I could see the look on your face as he makes you cum" and build it as a shared fantasy first. Make it a halfway meet rather than obviously a ploy to get her fucked by some one else. Patience is the key. Once she starts leading the fantasy that she's got another guy's cock in her, move on to logistics type questions, like "would you make him wear a condom or want to feel him cumming deeper than I can inside you" Take it step by step - Mrs AW is conscious of her weight so we're firmly stuck on fantasies until this year's diet succeeds!

 

[abvt75]

same with mine but we haven’t gotten to the next step yet

Wish you luck! May be you should bring her on the forums and introduce her to more people and get her comfortable

 

[DoctorSmith8]

As we talked before. Id love to share yoir kinks. I wouldnt mind being tied up and force fed your cock. Ive seen the pics and it looks like such a hot cock to suck. My wife has no sex drive so thats when i strictly started playing with men. Ive done a lot of kinky things and even had some very hot 3 ways.

My wife is the same. She's no longer interested in any sort of sex. I now live a lonely life. I have fantasized about exploring bi, but she keeps close tabs on me. When I was a kid I would have naked sleep outs with my pals and it was a ton of fun.

 

[DoctorSmith8]

I met my wife in late 2015 and she was already into the bondage stuff. My only experience in bondage was a pair of fuzzy cuffs lol. Once we got together, she introduced it to me, showing me her ropes and toys. I had alot of fun tying her up and getting her off with fucking her. Anywho, some time later I'm browsing the world of Porn and stumble across something called Hotwife porn. I was intrigued. Next thing I know, that's all I'm watching and fantasies start to develop.

It's 2023 now and my level of kink, naughtiness, fetish whatever, I feel has surpassed what she's comfortable with. She's aware of my desire for her to become my Hotwife/Stag and Vixen but she's very resistant to it. Now, we have 4 young kids so that may contribute to her resistance. She's also very strong in her Christian beliefs and is saying that she values our vows more than that.

I'm stuck. I love her to death and she's the mother of my kids but I don't know what to do about my strong desires. I'm happy in our marriage yet not entirely satisfied in the sex department due to her lack of furthering her adventurous nature.

She has FFM in the past but apparently those didn't end well for her and she refuses to try that again. Understandable but I'm not looking for FFM. I want to share her with other men. She ALMOST let it happen a while back but I guess she thought about it too much and backed out. The guy we were going to do it with is a really good friend of mine, I grew up with him and we even lived next door to him for a period of time. Hell, she's even flashed him, alcohol was involved tho lol.

If anyone has some solid advice, I'm all ears.

My Christian wife has lost interest entirely, so count yourself fortunate.

 

[Bill_Doubleu]

Unfulfilled desire is the source of suffering say the Buddhists. Those who try to alleviate their suffering from satiating desire always generate new desire. "The grass is always greener". Getting the wife trained to fulfill a husband's desires has backfired. Like she finds she digs another man's cock and discovers she is in love. The guy ends up alone. The only sex he can find is with a pro or a man.

 

[sean080183]

I’ve always been the guide in her life

It took us a long time to get to the point that our relationship is at. I’m so very proud of both of us. There is always work to do and there will always be things that kind of come out of the blue that we have to chat about, but we are very good at communicating.

 

[Uncut1969]

no sex from wife and she would freak on all my new kinks that I want to try and experience! She is so vanilla

 

[storypost603]

explain to her that your vows are for LOVE this would only be SEX. I am working on my wife also and have a for a few years. Just this week she did not say hard NO.... maybe that is her starting to think about it.