Widower finding purpose in loss

[Houstonguy30]

I listen to Lindsay. Again, such an emotionally intelligent woman. I'm proud.

"Wow. Rachel, did you realize we have Dear Abby living under our roof? Sheesh. But seriously, well said."

I step back into the hot tub, settling right next to Rachel. I badly need to make love to you tonight, I think to myself. I lean in, nearing your lips and kiss you tenderly. The kiss goes from tender to loving, to lightly passionate. I don't want to freak Lindsay out again, so I pull back after several seconds before it becomes an all out make-out fest. Kissing you has exactly the effect I expected. I'm getting hard. Luckily the bubbles and my large board shorts hide it.

I look to Lindsay and try to gauge how she feels about the kiss. I smile and say, "I think I am going to take you up on that offer, Lindsay, of me spending the night with Rachel. If you still don't mind. And of course, Rachel, if I am who you'd like to spend tonight with..."

 

[Becaa57]

After the kiss, actually our first kiss in days now.

I too look at Lindsay

She is watching us with a strange expression on her face

"You ok Linds???"

She thinks a second

"Yes, I think so. May take some getting used to. But didn't freak me out"
I think I am going to take you up on that offer, Lindsay, of me spending the night with Rachel. If you still don't mind. And of course, Rachel, if I am who you'd like to spend tonight with..."

I pretend to think
"Hmmmm what should I do eenie meenie??? "
Duking as Lindsay splashes towards me,
"Yes Mark, I'll spend it with you"

 

[Houstonguy30]

I also duck out of the way when Lindsay splashes. Good, we're being playful. This is good.

I feel your hand slide over swimsuit, rubbing at my semi-hard cock under the bubbles. I get even harder.
"Yes Mark, I'll spend it with you"

I mostly direct this next comment to Lindsay - "And I mean this seriously. Do you two like, want an hour alone before I steal away OUR girlfriend? Oh wow, that put it in perspective, didn't it? OUR girlfriend?"

 

[Becaa57]

"And I mean this seriously. Do you two like, want an hour alone before I steal away OUR girlfriend? Oh wow, that put it in perspective, didn't it? OUR girlfriend?"

I look at Lindsay she does a small nod

"Yes Mark I think so, but probably not the reason that will come first in your mind"
Giving your cock a squeeze at that point.
"I just think we have to talk a bit more, girl to girl"

"And at some point, I think you two need a heart to heart, without me in the middle"

"I don't know about the phrase Our Girlfriend though"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Yes Mark I think so, but probably not the reason that will come first in your mind"
Giving your cock a squeeze at that point.
"I just think we have to talk a bit more, girl to girl"

Damn. Dirty old man kind of wanted to watch again. I bet that's why you squeezed my cock. SMH. What is wrong with me? One of the hot women you want to watch is your daughter! My evil side admits that she's fucking HOT though. Damn, that bikini looks good on Lindsay. I suddenly realize a part of me that I can't admit to is jealous of Rachel.

"I don't know about the phrase Our Girlfriend though"
I decide to lighten the mood a little, since I seem to not be able to say anything correctly tonight. "Okay, then Our ball-and-chain it is!"

 

[Becaa57]

Watching your face as Rachel tells you , that we need some to discuss
Seeing emotions play across you.
Are you checking me out???
I remember you did watch us is something else going on???
"Okay, then Our ball-and-chain it is!"

"Well dad, being as you're the only one with balls??? How would that work?"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Well dad, being as you're the only one with balls??? How would that work?"

"Oh lord, I give up." My eyes unconsciously dart to Lindsay's cleavage and I notice her hard nipples through her wine colored suit. My cock pulses. Shit, Rachel probably felt that with her hand still on me.

"I'm... going to go and give you two some time. I'm sure I can find some work to do now that we have the loan to get business done. A write up of the meeting or something like that."
I get up and grab a towel and start drying off. I lean down and kiss Rachel softly. "I'll be in my office whenever you are ready, hon."

I pour the last of the champagne into your glasses and head off to the master bedroom to change into something comfortable.

 

[Becaa57]

"I'll be in my office whenever you are ready, hon."

I return the kiss, but sensing some undertones between him and Lindsay.
The way she replied to the ball and chain comment
Is this falling apart already???
God!!!!!

"Lets sit by the firepit, I'm getting water logged"
We get up refresh our wine glasses.
Sitting down, Lindsay is quiet

"What's going on Linds???"
"Between you and Mark, Your dad"
Even though you know who Mark is.

She sips her wine for a minute

"I'm not sure Rach. I'm getting the feeling but can't be"
"You know the feeling you get when a guy is checking you, wanting to hit on you???"

I nod, every girl knows that feeling can range from he's cute to very creepy

"I'm getting that feeling from Dad!!! Mark"
" I mean why would he have watched us making love on the daybed? I'm his daughter!!! He should have turned away!!!"
"Maybe you can ask him? Have no idea how, I mean you can't just go Mark do you want Lindsay?"
"Ohhh Rachel, what if he does? I don't really feel that way about him"
"I mean he's cute and sexy but he's my dad??!!!"

"That would be something else. I don't know"
"I can try and ask in a way without asking???"
"Are you going to be ok with me spending the night with him?"
" I can put it off if you're not"

"No, I'm actually ok with you two"

By the time we finish talking we'd gone through the whole bottle
The fire has died down and we walk to her room???
I kiss her goodnight.
Check in your office, so I guess you're in bed.

Going to the bedroom, wondering if I should knock. But the door is open and you're in bed
I walk in, sit on the edge
"Ok can you believe it, I'm nervous now"

 

[Houstonguy30]

I walk in, sit on the edge
"Ok can you believe it, I'm nervous now"

"Oh, I can believe it. I'm terrified. I don't understand why though. It's like the whole thing is even more important than before."

I take your hand and pet it while thinking. "Gosh, I didn't realize that by telling Lindsay, the whole thing would become so... intense. It's like if we don't stay together it's going to impact everyone and not just us. So there is just so much more pressure on top of you and I just figuring US out. And then this added weirdness of flashes of anger I get from Lindsay at times. I want to think they are jealousy but I don't think they are. Comments like 'She was my girlfriend before she was yours!' and then the way she looks at me with something... anger I think? I... I'm so confused. Doesn't help that today was a monumental stressful day, so I'm just mentally exhausted."

"If you're too nervous, we don't have to do this tonight. You can go to her if you'd rather."

 

[Becaa57]

"Oh, I can believe it. I'm terrified. I don't understand why though. It's like the whole thing is even more important than before."
"Maybe because it's 'official? '"

I take your hand and pet it while thinking. "Gosh, I didn't realize that by telling Lindsay, the whole thing would become so... intense. It's like if we don't stay together it's going to impact everyone and not just us. So there is just so much more pressure on top of you and I just figuring US out. And then this added weirdness of flashes of anger I get from Lindsay at times. I want to think they are jealousy but I don't think they are. Comments like 'She was my girlfriend before she was yours!' and then the way she looks at me with something... anger I think? I... I'm so confused. Doesn't help that today was a monumental stressful day, so I'm just mentally exhausted."
Taking a breath
"Speaking about Lindsay and strange things"
"She told me she picking up some weirdness coming from you. The way you look at her"
"Like you want her too????"
"She mentioned that when we were out on the day-bed making lover, you stayed and watched"
"Not what someone would expect from their father, but another man maybe?
"This may sounds strange, but are you sexually attracted to her?"

"If you're too nervous, we don't have to do this tonight. You can go to her if you'd rather."

"She sent me here, so I want to stay, we don't have to do anything, can just talk if you want"
"Maybe that's what we need to do, and I think you and Lindsay have to as well"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"This may sounds strange, but are you sexually attracted to her?"

I sigh, hard. I need to be honest. And with myself.
"I've never been sexually attracted to her, in the past. But... once I started learning about the two of you together I started visualizing things. Not consciously, but.. Yeah. She's HOT and I'm human. I had this fatherly block in place to not allow myself to consider her sexually. But then you brought up the two of you and it's like that block lifted. Then, yeah, seeing you two making love on the daybed. It was... HOT. The way you two moved together, both of your sexy naked bodies. Yeah... well.. there you go."

And dammit, while admitting it all, I've gotten hard. Shit. This is messed up.

"She sent me here, so I want to stay, we don't have to do anything, can just talk if you want"
"Maybe that's what we need to do, and I think you and Lindsay have to as well"

"Yeah, I think we do need to talk... Well, there you have it. The whole discussion tonight really rotates around me being jealous of you two and me feeling guilty about possibly messing up my daughter's relationship - combined with the new aspect we just discussed..."

 

[Becaa57]

"I've never been sexually attracted to her, in the past. But... once I started learning about the two of you together I started visualizing things. Not consciously, but.. Yeah. She's HOT and I'm human. I had this fatherly block in place to not allow myself to consider her sexually. But then you brought up the two of you and it's like that block lifted. Then, yeah, seeing you two making love on the daybed. It was... HOT. The way you two moved together, both of your sexy naked bodies. Yeah... well.. there you go."
I stare at you, stunned would put it mildly. I had expected you to say no, but not this confession

"Wow!!! Ok uhmmm not sure what to say"

"I guess in a way it makes sense. You and I are now a couple, you know Lindsay and I are one as well. So would move her from just your daughter to a young woman"
Smiling
"And we both know you seem to like young women."
"Also I'm sure a lot of conflicted feelings about that, the feeling that a Dad shouldn't feel that way about his daughter"

"Yeah, I think we do need to talk... Well, there you have it. The whole discussion tonight really rotates around me being jealous of you two and me feeling guilty about possibly messing up my daughter's relationship - combined with the new aspect we just discussed..."

"Just so you know. You're not messing up my relationship with her, but sounds like you need to add to your relationship with. I honestly don't know if her feelings about you will change, she still see's you as her dad. But at least she will know why you're acting weird"

"Do you want to tell her tonight, and do you want me with you two, when you do"
"You are going to have to tell her"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Do you want to tell her tonight, and do you want me with you two, when you do"
"You are going to have to tell her"
"No, no..." Suddenly I'm panicked. You're right, I SHOULDN'T be feeling this way. Even admitting it feels so taboo and wrong. Not just taboo and wrong... but SERIOUSLY wrong. My anxiety peaks and I can hear my own heart beating in my ears. My mind turns on me. You're disgusting, Mark. You're seriously fucked up.
"No... I don't want to tell her, and I don't want to act on this.... EVER It's just... something in my mind has changed. I can't help my eyes from roaming anymore like I used to. Can't we just leave it at that?"

I smile, trying to keep things light. But suddenly everything seems so serious. My lips are vibrating due to my internal conflict. How did this get so fucked up? I wish we had just kept it to sneaking around behind Lindsay's back because since we went forward with the truth, everything has just been so damn difficult.

My nerves are on fire. I need to release my tension badly.
"Come here." I grab your hand and drag you out of the bedroom and over to the red door. I need to lose myself with you and stop all this. I just need to pause time for a bit.
"You ready to see what is behind there?" I motion to the Red Door.

 

[Becaa57]

"No, no..."
"No... I don't want to tell her, and I don't want to act on this.... EVER It's just... something in my mind has changed. I can't help my eyes from roaming anymore like I used to. Can't we just leave it at that?"

"Well there goes that fantasy"
"Tell me, when she matured into a woman, did you not look at her differently? I know my dad did with me."
"A time, when you realized she's not a little girl. And she realizes, you're not just Daddy"

"I really think it's better with us out in the open and Lindsay and I out in the open. I will for sure take some juggling"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Well there goes that fantasy"
"What do you mean? I'm so confused by you right now. You seemed shocked and disappointed with my admission, or am I mis reading you?"

"Tell me, when she matured into a woman, did you not look at her differently? I know my dad did with me."
"I saw things, like her changing, but convinced myself not to NOTICE them, you know? Does that makes sense? Now, after NOTICING when you two were... together. I feel extreme guilt."

Here we are, standing at the Red Door and I'm totally flaccid. Taking my lover into my playhouse for the first time. For the first time EVER. This room has never been used before. I should be panting, hyped up. I should be hearing my heartbeat in my own ears due to my adrenaline. I KNOW I need something erotic and passionate to get myself out of this funk, but emotionally I'm just not in it tonight.

"I really think it's better with us out in the open and Lindsay and I out in the open. I will for sure take some juggling"
"Yeah. This is all so difficult. It's so new and I just don't know how everyone feels... I wish I could read minds."

I reach for the keypad next to the leather Red Door and I flinch, pulling my hand back. I don't think I'm ready to take you in there tonight. I need to figure out this toxic, taboo desire for Lindsay and get my mind un-fucked.
"Maybe not tonight. I think I need some time alone...."

 

[Becaa57]

"What do you mean? I'm so confused by you right now. You seemed shocked and disappointed with my admission, or am I mis reading you?"

I smile and kiss you on the cheek.
"Relax, I'm messing with you"
Thinking, maybe later he'll be ready for it

"Tell me, when she matured into a woman, did you not look at her differently? I know my dad did with me."
"I saw things, like her changing, but convinced myself not to NOTICE them, you know? Does that makes sense? Now, after NOTICING when you two were... together. I feel extreme guilt."

"Ok, that actually makes sense. Dad never acted on his either, I just felt the way he looked at me, changed. To more like when boys looked at me"

"You know?"

"Maybe not tonight. I think I need some time alone...."

"I think you do, my bombshells tonight I fear have rocked your world, much more then Mine and Lindsays"
"Do you want to just go bed? We don't have to make love, just lay together?"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"Ok, that actually makes sense. Dad never acted on his either, I just felt the way he looked at me, changed. To more like when boys looked at me"
I speak slowly, trying to vent frustration without anger. "We're fathers, not inhuman! And besides - our daughters usually look a LOT like the woman that we loved enough to have children with. In my case, Lindsay looks like a young Helen, but 'enhanced.' Taller, even more fit, silkier hair. Longer legs. Prettier eyes. And now, unfortunately, I know her breasts are even more perfect. How can I NOT see that?" I shake my head in frustration. As I describe Lindsay, admitting to you and myself that I've noticed it ALL.. I start getting erect. Shit...

"I think you do, my bombshells tonight I fear have rocked your world, much more then Mine and Lindsays"
"Do you want to just go bed? We don't have to make love, just lay together?"
"I'd like that."

We do. We both get ready for bed, brushing our teeth, washing faces. I throw on a set of silk boxers and you put on a cute little white set.

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GfLhsVrWoAAuKLS?format=jpg&name=large

You cuddle up to me. I know you notice that I'm semi-hard as you wrap your leg around me, but to your word, you just cuddle up to me and let me fall asleep.

My dreams rock my world. They're all about you and Lindsay. Naked bodies, perfect tight mid twenties beauty. Soft skin and amazing, tight breasts.
In one, we're in the Red Room. You have Lindsay tied to one of the leather massage tables. Her arms tied down the length of the table's legs, causing her perfect breasts to jut high. Her legs splayed open due to the way her ankles are secured to the table. I watch from one of the 'viewing chairs' as you "torture" her with you lips and tongue. Bringing her to orgasm after orgasm with different vibrators. Her skin is slick with sweat and she's groaning, begging you to stop because she can't take anymore.

I wake with a shake. I'm completely erect. Painfully. I turn and see you staring at me.

 

[Becaa57]

You'd been restless all night, fighting demons in your sleep.

I know you're really troubled by your thoughts about Lindsay and I.
More about her as your daughter the me being her lover.

My heart goes out to you, I wish I'd not opened that door after all

You come awake with a start, looking around wildly.

I smile at you

"Good morning love, have an interesting dream?"
Glancing at your very hard erection

 

[Houstonguy30]

I ignore your question. At least initially.

"Wow, what time is it? And how long have you been staring at me?" I see you glance at my hard cock. I smile, thinking YES, I'd very much like what is on your mind, lover...

"I... uhh... Well. We agreed to full transparency, right? It was a dream about you and Lindsay together...."

 

[Becaa57]

"Wow, what time is it? And how long have you been staring at me?"

"It's about 7:30, but you were restless last night"
"Not long a few minutes maybe"

"I... uhh... Well. We agreed to full transparency, right? It was a dream about you and Lindsay together...."

"I'm guessing by what I'm seeing, that we weren't just watching TV???"
"Do you want to share, you don't have too!!!"

 

[Houstonguy30]

"I'm guessing by what I'm seeing, that we weren't just watching TV???"
"Do you want to share, you don't have too!!!"

I lean over and kiss you. "I could tell you, but it will be SO much more fun to show you." I am so thankful that you're not belittling me or having issue with me having a dream about you and my daughter. But now, I just want to do those exact things to YOU.

I slide out of bed, my hard cock obvious in my silk boxers. I stand and offer my hand to you. You take it with a smirk and bright, curious eyes. We walk over to the Red Door and I enter a code. You hear a loud click as the lock pulls back.

I open the door and allow you to walk in and look around.

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/fife/ALs6j_GOaELQcpeSbCIyhE0EXmlZ8IC6uTU_qaJG7xjqbhM3HcKeBAnutEslhgDQTw6Cgvu-wrszNq-I3rDuKV2i0z7kBV5JDsmZiKCPk7UgXh1mpHy7wNXUYYo0YnVJC_2e1V6kNdEIpdep6opS_MeFSWsC34MyfGAtlHKFX0qRvBvH_9542dUJ2MqJmyeo1VjiRccynXDaJe9G4MSMIptADnK1hNPIYCW75XcjEd7D5L79_IR26qZVRwXmtszZ8yriw_wqQxpyBnhZpcxTlKdVHXR90fFbva40P3GW1Ig2OePoNEFcFQOb9Bm_o-nMVHzUaIh-YLlNcT_-L28KLVpHL8oTsQ0fbYmzgWUbPjl-YovT-ZpE9VyBS2dFfZF9BMH1HgiRlIiWaiatcF1PhxcAFSppp-bZ3_Ukf-l4dC0zd1utFsil8Q5Zj3hwUyKZ4KWlQzI62t6xhoZ4qL4COXKI4th5_WhsV_gD8B6YTfhzIxxCF81QvDw2U387SEcgoMZDASRNlSOIjHBgtKyib1ikA1_sO6E-9rXo1XBSurYzp_zuMIy2FdSOxl6QPOpgZ16uUcwzzpNVzE5UgYy6UyaR7qMe_9kJYzq74fyltNjbdO09JSiTEv6-GoRX6liMXjq5c7KPDvHCemIkRHiFV4CiYjaIT1qtd-UCe5UWCfH84gYipOIFmWuY0f9Av5I87f3mqodc2PVnG12jdBxO0Rw1JdV3GaIM0Wo6n788c8EeDmJnk1F4U-gk9x0WSUY3eB9eX7i787tKjdL49KVRfklKF-JfruL9uicR1C78PZSfdbMhJkYPndQNbZqHGJAV-esI-FrrqNDkciwkWzBULzVAgQZyKpeUSsMUBTdT_tc4MDXaxaYSPGrwE9ztDEWzXztj5s4T4kbkvkaacTBF5qUiq76GFQ2GBb3JzR-nV8QZYpg8lzO3egeSins943LXzt8MINeRyihzk5RXKAlR_fg0FiTllCP3IkpdSNERPYZmiR7mGO49K3t-SSiqIT2l0Ay8hPmxuh51FysnndqDGPEh7gzG-msAVJ8TRdlap3eDvDrP01S9MhIl0QyKq--UVz4fxJDU0slKriwQsJUazXfgghtzpwBHy_aPd_riZClSJUGCACc1HsRoXFEuedDe1fG-wPiCcqP25QZswyeBrV0RTbJ14i-rHYn9oHkLQ2VYXOfUJz7lxbk5UCH8SuXWiXSXzUyZUoaXiAQ3pHPvU6XDY0_8FbVJI10FmeHkwYa459jld83YGhLGrZ2-v6OLVncBVzwW-RWkM_SBpXsIjYYgKibgmlAQuTETWSLKTKO10pUWexZZtY5t316q_l53CkGeFOKxr99sUS79k0Szz2GPesZStyL_7fgcyH6sEsK1Yg=s1024

I watch as you look around. The larger luxurious looking playbed covered in silk. The different leather tables and other furniture that are hard to describe. Leather straps and ropes seem to be everywhere. The vibrators and dildos laying around. Other odd machines.

You turn around, your eyes wide with surprise. I point to the leather massage table closest to us. My voice takes on a tone you haven't heard before. All business. "We will start there. You. Naked. Face up."

 

[Becaa57]

I'm shocked!!!!! This looks like a brothel or sex house would!!!! Some things I know what they are, others I have no idea. But obviously everything in this room is for some kind of sex.

You tell me in a very business and dominating tone
"We will start there. You. Naked. Face up."

"Yes sir!!!"
I take off my nightie and panties, walking to the table climb onto it
Laying on my back
"Ready Sir"

 

[Houstonguy30]

Fuck, you're so fucking gorgeous. I walk over to you and turn a crank on the "massage" table. It pushes up in the center, your head leaning back and your legs leaning down. This pushes your pelvis into the air. Your eyes are a mixture of arousal and something else... worry? I lean down and softly kiss you on the lips. "Good girl."

I go to work. First your left hand is shackled to the left leg of the table. Then your right. Then both of your ankles are shackled to the other legs of the table.

This puts body is on perfect display for me. Your perfect breasts are stretched, your nipples at perfect heights. Your legs open.

I see you test your restraints. You tug at them and realize you're unable to move even the slightest bit. I grab a feather and again lean down and kiss you, "Ready, my love?"
https://4playfurniture.com/store/image/cache/catalog/product/4Play-Dianas%20Cross-351-2k-191218-1200x1000.jpg

 

[Becaa57]

This is crazy!!! I'm bent backwards on the table, not painful, but not comfortable either. Then you fasten my hands and legs spreading me out spread eagle.
I realize all of my front is exposed to you, I try to move and can't at all.

"Ready, my love?"

"Remember you do love please"
"As ready as I'll ever be"

 

[Houstonguy30]

I start by tracing your stomach with the feather. You jump, as expected. Your eyes follow my ever move as I take the feather and trace your stomach, breasts, each of your arms, and back down. Skipping your pussy, I trace it down your left leg, across your foot, making you squirm against the restraints again. I trace up, again bypassing your center, and back down the other leg to your foot. Then back up to where I started.

Then again, but mixing it up. First one arm then a leg, then the other arm.

Again, I stop at your stomach. Next, I trace with my fingertips along the same path.

Then once my fingers are done, I trace with my tongue. Slower this time, tasting your skin. Every inch.

Your moans drive me on. I still skip where you really want me to touch.

Finally, I kiss and lick at your breasts. Taking my time, worshipping your perfect form.