Why there will be no Christmas this year

[Renegade]

Got this in the mail and thought some of you might like it. Sorry if it has already been posted before:

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SANTA RESIGNS!!!!!

T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list

Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.

I've busted my ass for damn near a year
Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear

The old lady bitches cause I work late at night
The elves want more money - The reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS

And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from IRS sent me a letter

They say I owe taxes - if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money

And the kids these days - they all are the pits
They want the impossible ...Those mean little shits

I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads

I made a ton of yoyo's - No request for them
They want computers and robots...they think I'm IBM

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees

I'm quitting this job...there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment

There's no Christmas this year...now you know the reason
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

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So, c'mon and fess up: Which one of you colored your hair blonde and is screwing Santa???

 

[sarahuk4]

LOL.....LOL........love it Renegade......I am going to cut and paste it to my mates in Yahoo ...........thanks ......

 

[Renegade]

sarahuk4

Glad you liked it.

BTW, sorry about my PM box getting full earlier. That's been happening with mine a lot lately. Really need to clean that thing out sometime.

 

[Ask For More]

up

 

[sarahuk4]

Renegade, I will pm you tomorrow , too tired tonight , and my mates in Yahoo loved your "Santa Resigns".....gone all over the world that one !!.....from England to Aussie , back to America....lol.lol.......

 

[shyybabe]

Actually I heard

Santa was too busy making kisses to get the toys ready this year.

 

[Renegade]

Re: Actually I heard

Santa was too busy making kisses to get the toys ready this year.

Ewwww!! Now that is just wrong. Although, it does bring new meaning to the phrase "Kiss my Ass".

 

[shyybabe]

And it sure does cut down on the chocolate craving in a hurry.

 

[shyybabe]

Top Ten Santa Pick-Up Lines

10. Hey Babe, when was the last time you did it in a sleigh?
9. Wanna see my 12-inch elf?
8. I`ve got something special in the sack for you!
7. Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?
6. I know when you`ve been bad or good--so let`s skip the small talk, sister!
5. Some of my best toys run on batteries... <wink wink>
4. Interested in seeing the "North Pole"? (Well, that`s what the Mrs. calls it ...)
3. I see you when you`re sleeping--and you don`t wear any underwear, do you?
2. Screw the "nice" list--I`ve got you on my "naughty" list!
1. Wanna join the "Mile High" club?

 

[shyybabe]

Ok more Santa funnies.

Somehow I thought of Lit when I opened this up today. Think it was Bratcat's thread.

 

[shyybabe]

#2

 

[shyybabe]

#3

 

[shyybabe]

Kinky Santa

 

[shyybabe]

 

[batter]

ROFLMAO!

shyybabe...christmas may never be the same again! LOL
those are SICK!!

i loved em. LOL

 

[shyybabe]

Sick?

shyybabe...christmas may never be the same again! LOL
those are SICK!!

i loved em. LOL

I hope you're not inferring that they were sent to me cause I have a sick sense of humor!!!

Won't admit it anyway.

 

[LadyDarkFire]

ROFL Some of those are just Baaaaaaadddddd!

 

[seXieleXie]

hershey's

a was literally sucking on a hershey's kiss when i looked at that picture...