why should we perpetuate myths?

[axel]

When reading erotic literature or watching erotic videos, we always see scenes of vaginal or anal penetration starting with ecstatic moans from the female partner who continuously express verbally and with body language her rapture. Those scenes ALWAYS finish with shattering multiple mind-blowing female orgasms .My objection to all that is that publishers or producers distort the truth and make ,inexperienced at least, men to expect all this from their female partners.According to our female readers feed-back and our real-life experiences, very rarely if not at all this happens, given the fact that most women do not express so enthusiastically their pleasure during the act, some remain completely silent no matter how they enjoy it and the majority never reach an orgasm by penetration alone.
I know that many couples have arguments if the woman does not fake convincingly enough.Men feel inadequate or premature ejaculators or they put the blame on their female partner.So, why should media perpetuate those myths with destructive effects on non-actors or non-fiction real life lovemaking?

 

[teresafannin]

Good morning, please don't think this is being sarcastic, but the reason that books, movies, etc show that sex is always perfect, mind blowing orgams, rivers of cum is because it sells. Publishers & movie studios are in the business to make money. Many people read erotica or watch erotic movies because they want the fantasy of romance. Real life can be so depressing, when I go to the movies, I want the fantasy & make believe. The best way to overcome the inadequecies many of us feel in real life is to be willing to talk to your partner. I went through years of less than great sex, faking orgasms to please the men in my life. I finally (at 41) found a man who puts my needs first & as a result, the sex is better than ever. We tell each other everything, experiment with each other & truly strive to make each other happy. People need to turn off the tv, turn off the computer, realize that movies & books are not real life & concentrate on each other.

 

[Ramlick]

The location in which God put a woman's clitoris is one of his more heinous acts.

 

[forgetunome]

What teresafannin said...

I agree with her 100% When you're reading a book, or seeing a video, or movie it makes it more interesting & fun to have things happen exaggerated. But, with your RL partner which in my case is my husband, you talk to each other, experiment and you know sometimes (not often) but, there have been times I haven't been in the mood, he has and I let him have his jollies and let him know that don't work so hard on me, I don't fake orgasims. He knows not to take it personally. I still enjoy that I can make him happy. But, that is not the norm, he always tries to make sure I come first unless, as stated above I tell him don't worry about me.

 

[axel]

I agree with you, ladies, 100%

Teresafannin and forgetunome, i agree absolutely with both of you. I do not discard completely erotic material because it can be very positive to sex life of people, but those exaggerations are stupid and useles, I think !
Men who are nor selfish learn from caring and honest partners that penetration does not usually leads to an orgasm, but still a woman in love and in the right mood, enjoys an immense pleasure by the sensations of fullness and warmth inside their love nest. Orgasm can come later or before by clitoral stimulation and a caring lover must never neglect that. I do not deny the fact of orgasm by penetration, but to achieve it it needs a special adjustment through much feedback by discovering and hitting specific spots and mostly the right mood.
Unfortunatley many woman are afraid to tell their partner that they cant reach an orgasm but by clitoral stimulation and they prefer to perpetuate a frustrating condition to them by faking.

 

[axel]

a God's mistake?

Ramlick, the clit is something unique in nature: a spot conceived by nature only with one purpose: to bring extreme pleasure.A woman's orgasm is something I really envy being a man.Our orgasm is primitive. Their orgasm can have so many degrees of strength and flavors and numbers in one single lovemaking that is breath taking! And the most important, it brings them afterwards a total state of well-being, relax and mind clearness, so much tension release that we men can not even remotely think of it, let alone feel it! As for why it is located exactly there , this is a very interesting topic of discussion itself !

 

[Ramlick]

That's all well and good, but the fact still remains that the Clit is in the wrong spot and many men and women stop having sex because it becomes a royal pain in the ass for the man to get his wife off while the man gets finished in 5 minutes then he needs to work on her for another half hour or more which makes him believe it's easier just to masturbate and get it overwith.

 

[Never]

The clit is not in the wrong spot, perhaps the penis is just built the wrong way? Perhaps the man should just go masturbate and let the woman find a partner that doesn't consider her pleasure to be a 'pain in the ass'.

 

[axel]

the pleasure to please

Ramlick, personally i think that this half hour devoted in satisfying a beloved woman is what a man should enjoy most in his entire life...

 

[KillerMuffin]

Maybe you're doing it wrong Ramlick. The StudMuffin never fails to get me off without much trouble at all. I would suggest some how-to books or something. We like http://www.tantra.com it has some lovely things in it concerning oral sex, among other things. A little effluviuous, to be sure, but still lovely.

 

[Bliss]

Working on that nonexistent staying power couldn't hurt anything, either. Tantra is wonderful, but one must be able to *ahem* maintain for quite a bit longer than 5 minutes.

I can't speak for everyone, but my clit is in exactly the right place. Wrong place for what? Don't your hips move? Don't you have fingers, a mouth, nose and tongue?

As for the original topic, Teresa is right. What, you think DVD's with titles like My Dead Fuck Who Doesn't Swallow are gonna sell ten million copies?

Get outta the house, find a shady secluded picnic spot and make your own real magic.

 

[Cheri]

I agree with all y'all about the fantasy part of porn. You're right in saying who would watch boring sex. But what I hate is the fake moan track so that the director can shout instructions. Give me real moans or give me erotica!
As for clit placement, where is it supposed to be Ramlick? I'd vote no for the perineum.

 

[lala]

on my soapbox, but i like this one!

ok, i'll try to be brief, but i'm not known for it,...

ramlick- you set yourself up for every response you get.

as for porn- we all wish sex were as easy as that,... and when you want to get off, you don't want harsh reality, you want hardcore ruckus fuckin'.

as for reality- if people believe what they see, they deserve a lifetime of uncomfortable and inadequate sex-

i would love to blame the media, but they don't care. they don't care.

we should know better- all of us,... than to believe what's on our screens

real sex is better- it should be anyway,... i've never had a bored expression as my partner pounds away, or had to constantly keep him up,... i wouldn't let that happen.

porn and porn stars are sad,... they don't enjoy sex anymore, every orgasm is faked or lame,... and it's not an expression of love,...

i think everyone should find their confidence in bed- make sex fun, you can cum for a reason!

ok thanx bye,

 

[Ramlick]

I would just like it if the woman could get off through penis to vaginal contact just like the man does. Then the world would be much simpler, and the planets would be in perfect allignment.

 

[Bliss]

I would just like it if the woman could get off through penis to vaginal contact just like the man does. Then the world would be much simpler, and the planets would be in perfect allignment.

I am able to get off that way.

But as I said before, a million positions, more than one way to make a cat purr.

Seriously, putdowns aside, studying up on anything, and putting in practice time, is how you learn. But you already know that. If the planets at your house are out of whack, remember that romancing her mind will go a long way in ze bedroom.

The only true failure is not trying.

 

[Lovely Latina]

Some real winners here

The location in which God put a woman's clitoris is one of his more heinous acts.

Ooo...yeah. It's right up there with plagues, pestilence, and painful childbirth. Booooo Goddess.

it becomes a royal pain in the ass for the man to get his wife off while the man gets finished in 5 minutes then he needs to work on her for another half hour or more which makes him believe it's easier just to masturbate and get it overwith

Foreplay includes the drive over for you, doesn't it?

I would just like it if the woman could get off through penis to vaginal contact just like the man does. Then the world would be much simpler, and the planets would be in perfect allignment.

Anything to shave a few minutes off the 'ol time, eh Speedy?

Well, not to fret, Ramlick...with men who think in the same manner as you've conveyed above, I believe we are well on our way to a MUCH simpler world already.

 

[Never]

Personally, I'm somewhat tired with reality. Sure, it can pay the bills, but I avoid it at all possible opportunity.

 

[Lovely Latina]

My apologies to Axel

I just wanted to offer my apologies to you, axel, for the snide display in my previous post. I am sorry that I contributed to the derailment of your thread from its original intent. I know how frustrating that can be for the thread-starter.

I don't know if you've been around long enough to know of Ramlick's history here. He has insulted and offended many of the fine people of this board (some of whom I really care about), and then proceeded to also insult me on another thread a few weeks ago, when I had never so much as addressed or provoked him personally in any way.

Slightly petty of me? Yes...but we are all human, and I let my disgust get the better of me in a momentary lapse of weakness. Though I try to keep it in check, I'm sure it won't be the last time. Must be that Latina blood in me.

As one can observe from the other replies to this thread, I was not the only one struck by his chauvinistic/stereotypical comments. I'm just sorry that I had to bring that negativity to your thread.

As for the topic...

I think teresafannin's post was excellent and most accurate. I don't believe there is anything significant I could add to it.


PS-- is really a pedotortonecropyrophiliac. I got proof.

 

[Never]

Lovely Latina:
"PS-- is really a pedotortonecropyrophiliac. I got proof."

*GASP!*
LL, please, lets talk about what it would take for you to edit that post. Laurel said I could babysit next weekend.

 

[Lovely Latina]

What was that? Eh? Huh? Can't hear ya. What?

You wanna borrow some lighter fluid and a torch, you say?

That babysitting job is MINE!

MINE I tell you!!


(Sorry babe. I need my tortie porn fix. You know how it is, right?)

 

[Siren]

You got nothing to apologize for TRULY LOVELY LATINA....

 

[Cheyenne]

Hey, Ramlick, are you sure you're French? I'm starting to think your bad taste in loving Jerry Lewis must have another cause. You sure don't sound French to me!

 

[Ramlick]

Lovely,

Did I really insult you on some other thread? I realy don't recall. But you're wrong to suggest that I go around insulting people. That's not what I do. I have an honest, humble opinion on the clitoris. I don't think I've insulted anyone here (other than maybe the clitoris).

So Latina, when did I insult you, I'd like to know so that I can apologize for it.

 

[Gus]

Ramlick - more to be pitied

I would just like it if the woman could get off through penis to vaginal contact just like the man does.

I am reminded of the young boys boasting. "I managed it in twenty five seconds"

It would seem that Ramlick is mightily inexperienced. I have been with women that are as he describes. I have also been with women who are like the porn films portray. Whilst the second group seem better - by his standards - the first lot are a wonderful challenge.

The psychologists use the phrase - individual differences. One of your US pop psychologists called it "Different strokes for different folks"

I am still waiting for the suggested re-siting of the clit. I vote to leave it where it is. It works for me!

 

[Hung_Like_Horsey]

Looking for something?