Why Love?

[Norajane]

i don't think so. That warm fuzzy feeling, the sudden urge to gush poetry, all that stuff - those are side effects. They tend to wear off. Kind of like when you start a new medication the side effects are fast and furious for a while, then they taper off.

The annoying stuff that people complain about is a part of love. Love is just asccepting somebody as they are, unconditionally. Which i guess isn't such a bad thing, when it happens.

The sudden urge to gush poetry, that's in love, isn't it? In love is a state of mind.

 

[Guest]

Thoughts on and about this thread has been going through my head all morning. Isn't it strange how at times we "put a certain theme to bed" and then all of a sudden it surfaces profoundly? You get the same message via different means from different avenues... bombarded by it all of a sudden. It's all good. Only good can come of it I believe.

Yet, sometimes everything is too silent, and you recall being numb with the shock of reality. You replay those anguishes moments over and over. And although you known there is nothing that you can do, (It has happened/ is about to happen/ will happen/ its inevitable.) you still feel that you are drawn into a tunnel of memories that you’d rather not be drawn into. And yet, within sitting with that pain, you know for you to live fully, you have to love fully. And with love, comes loss.

We fight pain. We fight tears and sorrow. Instead of loosing ourselves to grief, we want to stand tall and be strong. I believe that by allowing ourselves to feel that pain, we are being strong. And healing can start.

Winterson: The PowerBook “All of one’s life is a struggle towards . . . the narrow path between freedom and belonging…. And life moves forward on the tug of war between the world I inherit and the world I invent…. Too much danger, love implodes; too much safety, passion withers….. There is no love that does not pierce the hands and feet,”

Good Post Goddess

 

[entitled]

We disagree. Ref earlier post https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=15936426&postcount=19

Strip away the giddy/gushy & angst ... and you're left with what's REAL

No need to refer. i read them all.

We just define love differently because of different experiences. Me? i'd rather live without it at the moment.

 

[entitled]

The sudden urge to gush poetry, that's in love, isn't it? In love is a state of mind.

Yes, that it in love - but it's not love. The state of in love is a by-product of love and can wear off.

 

[impressive]

No need to refer. i read them all.

We just define love differently because of different experiences. Me? i'd rather live without it at the moment.

To each


I may live without receiving it (as that is beyond my control), but I will never again live without giving it.

 

[entitled]

To each


I may live without receiving it (as that is beyond my control), but I will never again live without giving it.

Agree to disagree.

Oh, i give it. i can't help byself. i've got kids.
Like i said a few posts back, i'll change my mind in a week anyway.

 

[impressive]

Agree to disagree.

Gr'ups can do that.

 

[entitled]

Gr'ups can do that.

hehehe...

nuh UH!

 

[Liar]

I can see why people, at different times in their life would rather not love. it's fucking inconvenient. To love is to give, to depend, to worry, to make time, to down-prioritize ones own needs, to sacrifice, and it takes a hell of a lot of juice to do it right. Of course, if you're lucky, that effort comes around tenfold and you get more out of it than you give.

But it's a gamble, and frankly, now and then it's hard enough just to stay afloat, to pour out energy on loving.

 

[Sex and Death]

yes indeed!!!

It's not easy at all... but it's simple and uncomplicated...

love isn't a thing we get or don't get or have or don't have...

love IS...

you're either doing love or you're not...

I like the idea of love as an action, a thing we can practice, something we can open up to right now in every moment. It's all around us, the minute we open to it...

love is simple
opening up to it is the hard part...

that's my yoda-wisdom for the day...

A passionate kiss on your green, wrinkley head!

 

[impressive]

I can see why people, at different times in their life would rather not love. it's fucking inconvenient. To love is to give, to depend, to worry, to make time, to down-prioritize ones own needs, to sacrifice, and it takes a hell of a lot of juice to do it right. Of course, if you're lucky, that effort comes around tenfold and you get more out of it than you give.

But it's a gamble, and frankly, now and then it's hard enough just to stay afloat, to pour out energy on loving.

I used to love this way -- keeping score, making sure I got my return on investment. You're right, it is exhausting. I'm finished with it. I now give my love, expecting nothing in return.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Love and romantic love I think key to distinguish as well. We all need love in our lives, and we need to give love. However, those who cannot bear to be within a romantic entanglement or sexual partner tend to bounce from one to the next without the time necessary to reflect and consider how to make better choices.

 

[entitled]

Love and romantic love I think key to distinguish as well. We all need love in our lives, and we need to give love. However, those who cannot bear to be within a romantic entanglement or sexual partner tend to bounce from one to the next without the time necessary to reflect and consider how to make better choices.

Thank you for, once again, making it clearer than what my muddled little brain can manage.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Yes, that it in love - but it's not love. The state of in love is a by-product of love and can wear off.

yes!
clear as a bell to me

 

[Norajane]

Yes, that it in love - but it's not love. The state of in love is a by-product of love and can wear off.

Hmm, I don't think in love is necessarily a by-product of love. You can be in-love without truly loving someone. You can love and be loving without being in love.

 

[entitled]

Hmm, I don't think in love is necessarily a by-product of love. You can be in-love without truly loving someone. You can love and be loving without being in love.

Meh... Blame it on pheromones.

yes!
clear as a bell to me

Yay! i done did good!

 

[Liar]

I used to love this way -- keeping score, making sure I got my return on investment. You're right, it is exhausting. I'm finished with it. I now give my love, expecting nothing in return.

Eh, methinks you misread me. I never said anything about keeping score. That's not love. If nothing else, simply because it's not possible to measure. Just loving, even unconditionally, is hard work. If you are lucky, you don't need to get anything back per se, the act of giving without expecting return can be a source of joy in itself.

 

[Guest]

a majority of this thread can be summed up by the following:

Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.
~Lord Thomas Dewar

 

[Guest]

I now give my love, expecting nothing in return.

Imp, I am stunned to see this posted. It took me an awfully long time to learn to do this. It works (and bowls some persons over ). It's also so much easier to do!

love, Perdita

 

[impressive]

Eh, methinks you misread me. I never said anything about keeping score. That's not love. If nothing else, simply because it's not possible to measure. Just loving, even unconditionally, is hard work. If you are lucky, you don't need to get anything back per se, the act of giving without expecting return can be a source of joy in itself.

If I did, my apologies.

My take on love is that it's EASY -- especially unconditionally. What's HARD is letting go of the expectations that your feelings be reciprocated.

Again:

 

[impressive]

Imp, I am stunned to see this posted. It took me an awfully long time to learn to do this. It works (and bowls some persons over ). It's also so much easier to do!

love, Perdita

Ta, beautiful.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I used to love this way -- keeping score, making sure I got my return on investment. You're right, it is exhausting. I'm finished with it. I now give my love, expecting nothing in return.

*chuckle* And for me, something of the opposite, I suppose. Give, and try to spell out now and then what one might like in return. I've never really been a score-keeper, but when the balance tilts too far, it can be painful. A desire unvoiced and unexpressed can appear to those around one to be a desire unfelt.

Delicate bloody balance, isn't it?

 

[impressive]

*chuckle* And for me, something of the opposite, I suppose. Give, and try to spell out now and then what one might like in return. I've never really been a score-keeper, but when the balance tilts too far, it can be painful. A desire unvoiced and unexpressed can appear to those around one to be a desire unfelt.

Delicate bloody balance, isn't it?

PM en route

 

[BlackShanglan]

PM en route

All the excitement of Christmas Eve over here.

 

[Liar]

If I did, my apologies.

My take on love is that it's EASY -- especially unconditionally. What's HARD is letting go of the expectations that your feelings be reciprocated.

Again:

No problem.

But tell me this: Can you love without constant concern and worries abotu the well-being and safety of those that you love, and is that not exhausting?

It sure is for me. On the other hand, even if I'm not loved back, it's still well worth it.