Why is some feedback so nasty?

[make_some_noise]

I posted my first story a few days ago. I've had some good feedback but 2 were really nasty. The story is a complete fantasy about a housewife and the builder next door. Yes its cheesy but its written as tongue in cheek. Its total fantasy, it isn't me in the story, and yet some members seem to think it is and have called me a slut for cheating on my husband! (who incidentally I've been happily married to for 18 years). Er Hello, are these people for real?! I thought everyone who read erotica was looking for escapism and fantasy? All the stories I have written so far are classic women's fantasies which live in our heads all the time! I've got one to post about a couple who love each and meet up after many years and at the other end of the scale, a seriously sexy one-off one night with two British police officers. Didn't happen, I just MADE IT UP!!! But I'm kinda scared to post that now! I'm just a busy 30 something mum with a highly active imagination and I enjoy creating fantasy settings in my head and writing about them. The builder one actually started while discussing what I should write next in the office with two friends on a hot summer afternoon (hence the builder - my friend's fantasy and the ice cream!). From that idea they encouraged me and I came up with this. Is this bad feedback normal and to be expected? Does anyone have any advice - should I just ignore? Help?! From wounded critized first time writer ! x

 

[Guest]

I'm hazarding a guess that your story is in the Loving Wives category?

If so, don't give it another thought.

Readers in that category have a serious love/hate relationship with the writers. No matter how your story ends (husband is turned on by the infidelity, or husband gets back at cheating wife for the infidelity) you are bound to piss off half the readers.

It happens to everyone.

Hang in there.

Congratulations on your first story!

 

[evanslily]

No - just went looking for it - it's in erotic couplings, isn't it? http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=381357 (good job for a first story, by the way ). A little more unusual to get weird feedback from the readers of that category, but to be honest, it happens to some extent no matter what category you post in.

Don't let it get to you. Actually, it's a promising sign that what you wrote moved someone enough to send you a comment - even if it wasn't quite what you were expecting, LOL. Don't let it put you off writing more either. By and by, you will get more helpful feedback from your readers.

Now hurry up and post the one with the police officers!

 

[human_male]

Some people are just jealous of talent and will complain about anything because they know they couldn't come up with anything like that in a million years.

 

[make_some_noise]

Thanks, you guys are making me feel much better! I think you're right, I read one of the stories posted by one of those who slated me, and it was absolute crap! There was nothing to get your teeth into and nothing absorbing or entertaining about it. And yes that one was in Loving Wives. Thanks evanslily for the link - mine was in erotic couplings which makes it all the stranger really! There's probably something a bit "English" about that story, but then I am a Brit so what can you say?! I love it, my friends loved it, I hope quite a few of you out there love it and see it for what it is. Just a great bit of escapism.

Keep the nice comments coming guys, stroke my ego a bit more and the police officers will make it onto Literotica yet!

 

[michchick98]

Thanks, you guys are making me feel much better! I think you're right, I read one of the stories posted by one of those who slated me, and it was absolute crap! There was nothing to get your teeth into and nothing absorbing or entertaining about it. And yes that one was in Loving Wives. Thanks evanslily for the link - mine was in erotic couplings which makes it all the stranger really! There's probably something a bit "English" about that story, but then I am a Brit so what can you say?! I love it, my friends loved it, I hope quite a few of you out there love it and see it for what it is. Just a great bit of escapism.

Keep the nice comments coming guys, stroke my ego a bit more and the police officers will make it onto Literotica yet!

First off, welcome to Lit and congrats on your first story!

Second, as everyone else said, don't let the nasty comments get you down. I haven't read your story yet, but if Lily says it's good, I trust her judgement since she's one of the better writers on this site.

ETA: Oh and don't worry about sounding too British. There are many writers from other countries besides the U.S. on this site and they use the terminology of their country.

 

[DeeZire]

I consider it a compliment when I get a bad comment. It means the reader was moved enough to take the trouble of posting, which is better than the reader back-clicking and going elsewhere. Plus, I enjoy the stupidity of the comments - they make me feel so incredibly intelligent! (Even though I'm not.)

I've also noticed some readers don't take well to tongue-in-cheek writing. Screw 'em if they can't take a joke. A couple of my satires were written with the purpose of pissing off the reader. (My Troll story, for one.) I think I need to write something for Loving Wives. Those readers are so easily annoyed, it's comical.

 

[starrkers]

First off, welcome to Lit and congrats on your first story!

Second, as everyone else said, don't let the nasty comments get you down. I haven't read your story yet, but if Lily says it's good, I trust her judgement since she's one of the better writers on this site.

ETA: Oh and don't worry about sounding too British. There are many writers from other countries besides the U.S. on this site and they use the terminology of their country.

What she said.

Just a sidebar on sounding British. I'm Australian, and I write in English, not American. I've had comments slamming my "misspelling" because I used "arse" not "ass".

This then created its own little storm in the comments section, as other readers blasted the first commenter...etc etc.

Take comments with a grain of salt. If they're about the writing, pay attention and think about what was said, then accept or reject as you feel necessary. If they're about anything else, laugh and move on.

 

[jaybird6136]

Mean because they can be

I was also dissapointed when I got some really horrible comments on my first story. I was so upset I ran to my hubbie crying since mine was also an affair story and I had comments calling the character a slut and whore. He gave me this great advice - Some people are mean just because they can be. I don't take it personally anymore. In fact I'm about to post my second story soon! Keep up the writing!

 

[emap]

What Starrkers said.

I'll even explain it a little, most of the readers of loving wives do read other categories and if it contains anything about a married woman having sex they instantly assume the writer is a slutty whore who can't sleep with her husband because it's not fun or whatever.

It has nothing to do with you or your writing ability, seriously it doesn't, it all has to do with them enjoying the story, playing with themselves and spraying juices all over their keyboard then feeling guilty because they enjoyed what you wrote and blaim you for it.

So really, you should be happy you got them off because those nasty feedbacks are nothing more than a you got me off so hard I was spraying cum all over my monitor.

If you want to avoid those in the future don't have a married woman having sex, just two people getting together and enjoying each other.

 

[YummyTiger]

I always write with the goal of finding ONE reader. All the negative feedback washes off when I read that one positive review. My writing had slowed recently and I got an anonymous feedback email saying that they loved my stories and wondered when I would release the next chapters. It inspired me to pick up a story I had dropped months ago and write the next chapter. It is in editing now and I like how it turned out.

My point is, focus on the positive and try to ignore the negative, unless it is actually constructive. The fact that people can be whomever they want online can sometimes bring out the worst.

 

[Totzman]

Don't take criticism too hard, because you can never please everybody. Some people enjoy criticising others' work, often because they aren't good enough to make something of quality themselves. Or they simply have different taste, and you just have to accept that in a world where every person is different.

 

[RaLaWrites]

I can honestly say I've never gotten any NASTY feedback on Literotica but I have read such feedback, unfortunately.

Don't take criticism too hard, because you can never please everybody. Some people enjoy criticising others' work, often because they aren't good enough to make something of quality themselves. Or they simply have different taste, and you just have to accept that in a world where every person is different.

I quote Totzman because he explained it better than I could. Everyone has different tastes and everyone's not going to like the same things. I definitely wouldn't take it to heart.

 

[sweet_escape]

Thanks, you guys are making me feel much better! I think you're right, I read one of the stories posted by one of those who slated me, and it was absolute crap! There was nothing to get your teeth into and nothing absorbing or entertaining about it. And yes that one was in Loving Wives. Thanks evanslily for the link - mine was in erotic couplings which makes it all the stranger really! There's probably something a bit "English" about that story, but then I am a Brit so what can you say?! I love it, my friends loved it, I hope quite a few of you out there love it and see it for what it is. Just a great bit of escapism.

Keep the nice comments coming guys, stroke my ego a bit more and the police officers will make it onto Literotica yet!

I liked it. It was funny, hot, and kept me interested. I think you did a really good job.

Some readers have a difficult time separating fantasy from reality. They seem to think all writers draw from personal experience with their stories and want to comment more on the author than the actual writing.

I hope you continue submittimg. You're doing great.

 

[The_Trouvere]

I have to admit that I do not like stories in which a father takes his daughter's virginity, and suffers no consequences. Father - daughter incest is the most common kind, and the most likely to be harmful to the daugher if she is a minor.

I have posted a story here about an incestuous attraction between a father and daughter. The daughter is not a minor. By emphatic, mutual agreement, sexual intercourse does not happen.

Any "incest" story I write is also nosex. If sexual intercourse happens in one of my stories it arouses feelings of guilt, jealousy, and the fear of unwanted pregnancy. My stories don't get the highest ratings, but I think they are realistic and plausible.

Most of the comments I get are compliments. Some people complain that the stories are too tame.

 

[starscape]

Misery loves company

Hey make_some_noise,

If it makes you feel any better, my first story just went online a few hours ago and I already got my very first feedback email. I was all excited because I'm thinking wow, my story motivated someone to comment on it already!

And then it turned out that he/she was critical of my story because it contains anal sex.

Sigh.

So know at least that you're not alone. I hope this gets easier. I read tons of postings on the board about this sort of thing in order to prepare myself for the inevitable. I guess I had hoped I would have gotten positive feedback first to cushion the blow.

I guess this is the risk we take when we put (a part of) ourselves on the table for public consumption, eh?

Thanks for the encouraging words from those of you who have been in this position before. It makes it sting a little less.

 

[Noira]

I'll even explain it a little, most of the readers of loving wives do read other categories and if it contains anything about a married woman having sex they instantly assume the writer is a slutty whore who can't sleep with her husband because it's not fun or whatever.

Waaait... you mean the stories in Loving Wives aren't, uh, you know, a married couple having sex?

I've never been in there, I'm not really interested in it, I long for the day where I find a GOOD fantasy erotica story... XP... but by the title, I'd expect it to be a husband/wife pairing story... right? Wife cheating isn't really LOVING...

Anyway, from what I've noticed in reviews, people are just IDIOTS. "But it wasn't what I wanted it to be!" Aw. POOR YOU. WRITE YOUR OWN STORY. I DIDN'T TIE YOU DOWN AND MAKE YOU READ MINE. Hence my hesitance to actually post anything I've written here. But people will act as if I tied them to the chair and forcefed them my story and flame me as if I did, because they were too stupid to just click back.

Another reason I'm loathe to post. My stories are not personal experience. Why would they be? Maybe people assume this because it makes it hotter to pretend it is? Do they really think porn is real?

I guess so. I had someone cite "but they do it in porn and it doesn't hurt her" when I asked a question/commented on a conversation about sex somewhere else...

Yeah.

So, people are idiots. I've learned to expect that a great deal of Literotica readers just want to jack off and don't really consider the writing.

Offsite I have this other place I post stuff, not writing, and I have people randomly show up to diss me or low rate me. They do that just because they can. Some people enjoy being mean. I know from other trusted sources it's not as bad as my lovely flamers say. Some people are just asshats.

This is normal. Just ignore it.

Write for yourself, and not the reviews.

 

[Guest]

Hey make_some_noise,

If it makes you feel any better, my first story just went online a few hours ago and I already got my very first feedback email. I was all excited because I'm thinking wow, my story motivated someone to comment on it already!

And then it turned out that he/she was critical of my story because it contains anal sex.

Sigh.

So know at least that you're not alone. I hope this gets easier. I read tons of postings on the board about this sort of thing in order to prepare myself for the inevitable. I guess I had hoped I would have gotten positive feedback first to cushion the blow.

I guess this is the risk we take when we put (a part of) ourselves on the table for public consumption, eh?

Thanks for the encouraging words from those of you who have been in this position before. It makes it sting a little less.

Really?

That's a popular category.

Unless - was it a surprise for your readers? If they didn't expect it and your story contained anal that may have pissed them off.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Whoops, Sarah, wrong again. It's in Romance, not Anal, so that might explain the bad feedback. I thought it was fine but the Romance cat is a bit lighter sometimes.

Anyway, Starscape's story is here, Two in the Bush

Well worth a look. I thought it was a great fantasy for a first story. Just waiting for ch. 2

Anyone worried about bad feedback should have a read of MarshAlien's feedback thread http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=540700&page=24

make_some_noise, I agree with Lily, you have a fun and enjoyable story. Bring on the policemen.

Any comments that suggest the reader believes the story is true and is about the author should be ignored. Also, if a bit of marital infidelity is frowned upon on an erotic fantasy site, we might all have to put our pens away.

Don't know if it was intentional, but you hadn't enabled Public Comments so I couldn't leave my little word of praise.

Elle

 

[Guest]

Whoops, Sarah, wrong again. It's in Romance, not Anal, so that might explain the bad feedback. I thought it was fine but the Romance cat is a bit lighter sometimes. <snip>

Elle

That's actually what I meant.

To put anal into a story (that isn't in the anal category) is generally a surprise to the reader, unless perhaps it's in BDSM or non-consent.

In Romance cat? Ouch. No wonder someone reacted.

 

[Tanuki]

I just got an anonymous feedback that was so nice it made my cry - you'll get those too, so don't lose heart.

British cops are cute, get crackin' on that one!

 

[starscape]

That's actually what I meant.

To put anal into a story (that isn't in the anal category) is generally a surprise to the reader, unless perhaps it's in BDSM or non-consent.

In Romance cat? Ouch. No wonder someone reacted.

^ Yup. I'd been struggling trying to decide which category best fit the story because it contains elements from several categories, but not really enough of any one to fit for certain. Apparently I may not have chosen the correct one. Mostly I went with Romance because it "fits" (or at least seemed to at the time) the story as a whole.

Can I or should I consider requesting this chapter be moved to another category? I told myself I wouldn't care about the red "H" but as it swings higher and lower toward that damn 4.5 I find myself freaking a bit. Damn these nerves!

Well, I suppose I have arrived. Within 8 hours of my story going online, I have received one critical email , one very positive email , and one troll email (something like "piece of shit is more like it blahblahblah") .

elfin_odalisque, thank you for linking to my story and for your kind words. I have been reading the thread you linked to as well as the "Negative Feedback Trauma Center" one as part of my preparation to be flamed/trolled. Clearly I need to read more. LOL

Thanks you guys, really. This board really is one of the most supportive I've visited, which makes a huge difference since only one person I know IRL even knows I've written a "dirty story" for a web site. It means a lot to have people to talk to about this stuff.

/thread hijack

 

[Guest]

^ Yup. I'd been struggling trying to decide which category best fit the story because it contains elements from several categories, but not really enough of any one to fit for certain. Apparently I may not have chosen the correct one. Mostly I went with Romance because it "fits" (or at least seemed to at the time) the story as a whole.

Can I or should I consider requesting this chapter be moved to another category? I told myself I wouldn't care about the red "H" but as it swings higher and lower toward that damn 4.5 I find myself freaking a bit. Damn these nerves!

Well, I suppose I have arrived. Within 8 hours of my story going online, I have received one critical email , one very positive email , and one troll email (something like "piece of shit is more like it blahblahblah") .

elfin_odalisque, thank you for linking to my story and for your kind words. I have been reading the thread you linked to as well as the "Negative Feedback Trauma Center" one as part of my preparation to be flamed/trolled. Clearly I need to read more. LOL

Thanks you guys, really. This board really is one of the most supportive I've visited, which makes a huge difference since only one person I know IRL even knows I've written a "dirty story" for a web site. It means a lot to have people to talk to about this stuff.

/thread hijack

Yes, you can change categories.

Resubmit the story - put EDITED after the title. Change the category and in the NOTES field request that the category be changed.

It'll probably take the same amount of time as a newly submitted story.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

^ Yup. I'd been struggling trying to decide which category best fit the story because it contains elements from several categories, but not really enough of any one to fit for certain. Apparently I may not have chosen the correct one. Mostly I went with Romance because it "fits" (or at least seemed to at the time) the story as a whole.

Can I or should I consider requesting this chapter be moved to another category? I told myself I wouldn't care about the red "H" but as it swings higher and lower toward that damn 4.5 I find myself freaking a bit. Damn these nerves!

Well, I suppose I have arrived. Within 8 hours of my story going online, I have received one critical email , one very positive email , and one troll email (something like "piece of shit is more like it blahblahblah") .

I think you should consider changing category. The cats seem pretty distinct. Romance tends to vote high - but not attract zillions of readers and be a bit Harlequin-like. IMO, I would avoid Anal as this is a bit specialized with quite a small following.

I would have thought your story is well suited to Erotic Couplings - good, hot sex with a strong story and mainstream appeal. EC has a pretty large readership as well.

Another thread worth reading for comments on unsigned flaming and trolling is 'Annoymouse' on the AH I think but I haven't got the link.

Edited to add: This is the Annoymous link http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=312146

 

[The_Trouvere]

The stories that seem to get the highest ratings here are masturbation fantasies in which there are no negative consequences of non marital sex. My story is posted here:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=377974

This is a story about an incestuous attraction between a father and his eighteen year old daughter that is acknowledged, but not consumated. I have received good reviews, but the numerical rating is only 3.92. I suspect that this is because the father and daughter do not have sexual intercourse. They do express love and concern for each other, but many of the readers probably want more raunch. Also, most of the favorable comments seem to expect that I will submit a second chapter in which the father and daughter will have sexual intercourse.

On the internet I found a study that indicated that 15% of college students have engaged in sexual teasing and experimentation with siblings, but that fewer than 1% had engaged in sexual intercourse. I can write about a girl who enjoys teasing her brother and/or her father by walking naked from her bed room to the bath room to take a shower, and back, but that, or at most mutual masturbation is as far as things are going to go.

BTW, I have never engaged in sexual teasing and experimentation with my sisters, even though they are beautiful.