Why is it

[SweetDommes]

that people associate incest with BDSM?

There are at least 3 threads (they are at the very top of the list & I didn't go any further) on the BDSM Personals forum relating to incest fantasies/fetishes/pornos - but what exactly does that have to do with BDSM? How did the two things get linked together?

edited cuz I found a 3rd on the first page ... but I'm too annoyed to look any further

 

[Esclava]

You're kidding, right, ma'am?

Incest associated with BDSM???

What ever are the "thread starters" thinking (or not)?

I might have to go read the premise before I respond to this thread completely; but I suspect it has something to do with the parental "control" aspect - perhaps related to the reasons we call our Dom/mes "Daddy or Daddi"...

I'm sorry; but when my online Master intimated that he preferred the label Daddy, I simply explained that I only had ONE daddy (who has passed away) and then asked if he was considering taking his place - literally. Master has never raised the issue again.

I have often wondered why it is acceptable for us to refer to our Dominants as "Daddy/Daddi". Perhaps I will find enlightenment in this thread. I shall return.

Esclava

 

[SweetDommes]

I do understand that part of it ... but the 3 threads that I found don't address that at all - only the incest itself ... It seems like the people who created the threads are infatuated with their sisters/mothers and want someone to roleplay so that they can get it out of their system ... in which case - what the hell does that have to do with BDSM?

*edited cuz I'm a dork & didn't finish my sentence*

 

[Esclava]

<snip> ... It seems like the people who created the threads are infatuated with their sisters/mothers and want someone to roleplay so that they can get it out of their system ... in which case - what the hell does that have to do with BDSM?

<snip>

Get WHAT out of their system??? The fact that they spent their entire life jealous of their father because Dad was able to boff mom? Or that as close in age as their parents were, mom and dad could have been siblings - boffing each other like the thread writers want to do to their sister???

Forgive the incredulity, but I cannot fathom wanting to have sex with either of my parents let alone wanting someone to roleplay one or the other so I could satisfy some..."need" I felt had been unmet. Perhaps those who identify with those threads were beaten as children and see BDSM as a way to get back at the disciplinarian parent with the benefits of humiliation sex as a bonus. OMG...I could make myself crazier than I am with this topic...

Esclava

 

[SweetDommes]

*falls off chair laughing*

Honestly Esclava, I totally agree with you. I have no interest in such roleplay ... and I don't quite understand those who do, however, I do see the disciplinarian/authority figure aspect of it (kinda). I just am trying to figure out why these 3 guys (and I know that there are more, they are just the 3 that have gotten my attention today) have decided to post their interest in incest roleplay and pornos on the BDSM personals forum instead of the general personals forum where I think it belongs.

It is a connection that more than one person has made, and I'm just wondering if I missed the memo or something ...

 

[heckle]

that people associate incest with BDSM?

Anyoen who relates incest with BDSM has no idea abotu what BDSM really is. There may be daddy/mommy roleplay but that is what it is. I read the post that were referred to and I feel that they were posted by people who have either no interest or no idea about what BDSM is really about. Instead of posting liek this, why not post in the thread and try to find out if these people really are interested in BDSM or are just people looking for cheap thrills.

 

[SweetDommes]

Re: Re: Why is it

Anyoen who relates incest with BDSM has no idea abotu what BDSM really is. There may be daddy/mommy roleplay but that is what it is. I read the post that were referred to and I feel that they were posted by people who have either no interest or no idea about what BDSM is really about. Instead of posting liek this, why not post in the thread and try to find out if these people really are interested in BDSM or are just people looking for cheap thrills.

I did post in one of them, asking why he had posted there. However, I doubt that it will do much good - and posting on all 3 threads would be an even bigger waste of my time.

I posted "like this" because I was curious if I had missed anything - so go 'heckle' someone else.

 

[Esclava]

Re: Re: Why is it

Anyoen who relates incest with BDSM has no idea abotu what BDSM really is. There may be daddy/mommy roleplay but that is what it is. I read the post that were referred to and I feel that they were posted by people who have either no interest or no idea about what BDSM is really about. Instead of posting liek this, why not post in the thread and try to find out if these people really are interested in BDSM or are just people looking for cheap thrills.

Not to seem insubordinate, but it seems to me that the premise of THIS thread was to seek responses from those who are identified with the BDSM lifestyle. That is why I respond here.

As I have never had an issue posting an opinion where I felt moved to do so, I will feel free to post to one or all of those threads should I be so moved. Thank you for your input.

Esclava

 

[D's mariposa]

Heckle, bdsm is purely subjective. Either the person has parrallel interests in both incest AND bdsm, or the person relates to the discipline part of "bdsm" in a parental way, or possibly they are trying to work through some incest related problem by re-enacting a traumatic incestuous incident in a positive (for them) way. The last form is one of the more unusual ones, but we see it occasionally when the bottom/sub/pyl is trying to process a sexual assualt through rape fantasies. We don't know. They may have some totally unrelated conncetion in their minds, or none at all. Lets not be judgemental here, ladies and gents. Just cause a kink doesn't work for you doesn't invalidate the kink.

I am curious to know why they mention both as if they go together too, just as I am curious to know why it freaks people out that someone might possibly connect the two. Any answers yet, SweetDommes?

 

[SweetDommes]

The thing is, in the posts, they don't mention both, they just posted about the incest fantasies on the BDSM forums ... no real reason for them to be there, in my opinion. And I personally am not freaked out, just ... confused.

No answers yet though - still trying to figure it out.

 

[TNRkitect2b]

I personally think its just people putting a thread anywhere they can and don't care what the forum is for. In other words, they are idiots, and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I thought i saw one of those personals was moved from someplace else...i might be wrong.
If im not maybe someone at lit is pointing the ppl in the wrong direction?

 

[SweetDommes]

None of the 4 (found another one ) that I saw said anything about having been moved ... and I would certainly hope that people aren't directing them to the BDSM forum for stuff that doesn't seem to be BDSM related at all ...

I think I'm gonna go with TNR on this one - ignorance or flat out stupidity (hopefully the first, cuz that's fixable).

 

[D's mariposa]

Hopefully it's the first. Cause the second might be genetic. (Hey you kids! Outta my gene pool!)

 

[FungiUg]

Do you think it's something to do with the "daddy/little girl" concept?

Ah, who knows.

I personally don't see any direct link between BDSM and incest (other than parent/child being another type of power relationship). I guess you can combine kinks though.

 

[A's Sweet Baby]

Hmm... interesting issue .... perhaps they have posted at the BDSM personals rather than the general because there is more 'acceptance' here than in the general arenas? It is interesting to note how differently topics are reacted to here vs. general portions of lit. Perhaps the posters felt they'd be attacked at the general personal board and had a better chance at the BDSM board?

(not saying that is the case or that i necessarily agree, but it could be the motivation/reasoning).

 

[Pure]

As Fungi said, most people's experience of power over comes from their parents. So it's logical that the top or 'dom/me' have, in that respect, a parental quality.

Further many people's experience of eroticized pain, first came in a parental or 'authority' context.

You might note that God, is often given a parental cast, as in "Father."

The psychological linkage is obviously suggested in the pet names one hears all the time, "Daddy." "Little one" "girl."
And not a few dommes are happy with 'goddess.'

Now this is not to say all 'bdsm' players are conscious of role playing an incest related scene, but the parental connection is there, IMO, just beneath the surface.

 

[enigma nocturne]

Now this is not to say all 'bdsm' players are conscious of role playing an incest related scene, but the parental connection is there, IMO, just beneath the surface. [/B]

Major snippage. Pure, I have to ask you to clarify, are you saying that "ALL bdsm scenes have an underlying incestuous theme"? (I am not being rude, but English is not my first language, and I want to be sure I know what you mean before I say something.)

 

[CreativeSubmissions]

Honestly I can understand in the fantasy aspects of one fantasizing of giving control....to a fatherly figure....or a brother figure.....the idea may turn them on. Honestly I posted in one just saying the stories of the dominance and submission in incest story excites me...but I know its not really much to do with BDSM.

 

[Xelebes]

I personally think its just people putting a thread anywhere they can and don't care what the forum is for. In other words, they are idiots, and there is no rhyme or reason to it.

That or that they think that BDSM personal forum is for the people with all extreme fetishes including BDSM. Incest is to BDSM as scatplay is to BDSM. They do not equal BDSM but may take place like a Venn diagram.

 

[angela146]

A lot of people who are interested in BDSM have only been spanked by their parents. They only pain/pleasure combination they have ever experienced was over mom or dad's lap.

Until they have experience with (or perhaps education regarding) BDSM, they don't disassociate those feelings from immediate family.

A relatively naive BDSM-interested person could easily assume that *all* BDSM develops from familial dicipline experiences.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Now this is not to say all 'bdsm' players are conscious of role playing an incest related scene, but the parental connection is there, IMO, just beneath the surface.

Would this be for many, or all of us?

 

[angela146]

Would this be for many, or all of us?

Speaking only for myself and not for Pure...

I would tend to think that a "large number" of people who are into BDSM have an incestuous component in their enjoyment of it. That component might simply be based on the fact that they got turned on sometimes while over mom/dad's lap being spanked.

In my lexicon, an "incestuous component" does not necessarily imply a desire to screw mom or get screwed by dad. It might, be a case of having been turned on by a parent's actions and not having had any satisfaction of the desires from the parent (and maybe fantasizing/masturbating during the recovery time after the punishment).

An interesting pair of questions to ask some of your BDSM friends: "Did you ever get turned on during a parental (or sibling) spanking? Did you ever masturbate shortly after such a spanking?"

 

[Kajira Callista]

Speaking only for myself and not for Pure...

I would tend to think that a "large number" of people who are into BDSM have an incestuous component in their enjoyment of it. That component might simply be based on the fact that they got turned on sometimes while over mom/dad's lap being spanked.

In my lexicon, an "incestuous component" does not necessarily imply a desire to screw mom or get screwed by dad. It might, be a case of having been turned on by a parent's actions and not having had any satisfaction of the desires from the parent (and maybe fantasizing/masturbating during the recovery time after the punishment).

An interesting pair of questions to ask some of your BDSM friends: "Did you ever get turned on during a parental (or sibling) spanking? Did you ever masturbate shortly after such a spanking?"

I've never been spanked by a parent. The personals that i saw were not just roleplay type personals btw. Ya all should take a look.

 

[SweetDommes]

I've never been spanked by a parent. The personals that i saw were not just roleplay type personals btw. Ya all should take a look.

And that was my point KC ... the posts that I am referring to do not seem to be BDSM oriented at all ...

As for the question about spanking that was raised - I was spanked by my parents, but it was never anything erotic for me, in fact, it was rather traumatizing for me... but I do know people who were turned on by it (in fact, that was the end of spanking for one of them, because his mother noticed it).

But again, these posts don't seem to have any BDSM quality to it - just the basic roleplay - and on one of them I did post that he should put a little more info about what he is looking for, because it seems like he has posted in the wrong place.