Why I hate the Maternity Ward

[kromen]

I know this should be reserved for the GB, but the people here are more decent.
I got a call this morning from my friend. She is about six months pregnant and was having severe back pains as of late. She went to her ob-gyn this morning and they took her to the hospital to check her out. She called me to secure her beast of a dog. I have a spare key so that was easy. Then, about five hours later she called to tell me that she was going to be admitted, could i bring her some things like books, toothbrush, chinese food. I canceled my plans and played errand boy, getting everything she needed. All the time, I saw it as doing a friend a favor. She has no car, on public aid, her soon to be babies daddy, out of the picture.
I know how it is to struggle, so helping was no problem at all. I get to the hospital with everything she needed and made my way to the maternity ward with bags in tow.
I asked for her room, was directed with a point of the finger and THE LOOK.
This is the look that says a thousand words. The nurses must have assumed I was the soon to be father, showing up about three hours after she was admitted without a care in the world. I guess it didn't help that I was dressed in a football jersey, cargo shorts, and new sneakers. LOL. Oh, it gets better. I'm black as midnight and shes is blond, blue eyes, amazing rack, yada yada, yada.
I found her room, which was in the high-risk pregnancy ward, gave her the chinese, books, cell phone charger and ate with her. When I left an hour later, I got the same look.
It wouldn't have been that bad if the same thing didn't happen to me ten years earlier. I had an ex-girlfriend that gave birth. We were still amicable so i visited her in the hospital with a few gifts. Got the same fucking look. Seems, that her boyfriend missed the delivery and they thought I was him. I guess I shouldn't be the first guy to show up in a maternity ward. Am I crazy or has this happened to anyone else. God forbid, I get married and have kids in the future and develop a phobia against the maternity ward.

 

[Guest]

That's one of the reasons we had our kids at a Birth Center.

Good for you, helping her.

Who gives a fuck about the ones who do not understand.

 

[MrsDeathlynx]

I was pleased with where I gave birth to Hunter, then again it was a birth center by name. I don't know what the difference between birth center and maternity ward are...

 

[Guest]

I was pleased with where I gave birth to Hunter, then again it was a birth center by name. I don't know what the difference between birth center and maternity ward are...

Logophile is one of the experts around here.

But from our experiences?

I remember taking a tour with our childbirth class of the hospital maternity ward. Instead of being delighted, we were all horrified to see all these babies behind glass in a brightly lit room attended to by a few nurses instead of being held by their parents.

It didn't make any sense. Still doesn't.

But we loved the Birth Center.

At the Birth Center, we could have family members present. There was no "prep" before delivery. After delivery (they call it "catching" the baby) they placed the babies on me, and the baby pretty much stayed with me until we went home. At hospitals they often take them away - it really messes with the attempts to begin to breast feed.

No medication unless necessary - better for the baby.

Birth in a dimly lit room - better for the baby.

Less stress, less intervention, makes for easier delivery.

We went home a few hours after delivery. I was fine. They made a home visit the next day to make sure we were doing well. They had breast feeding classes, one on one care, to help with that process.

Birth Center deliveries were, to us, more personal with less intervention than the hospital deliveries.

 

[starrkers]

They still take the babies away to a nursery?? Jesus.

I had all three of mine in hospital - there was a birthing centre incorporated into it. I was then moved to the post natal wing. All babies stay with their mothers unless there's a decent reason for them not to.

My only complaint was when my second was born - he went into NICU and it was two floors and a long walk away from where my bed was.

 

[Vermilion]

Jut ignore those ignorant, know-nothing nurses. They think they're standing up for poor old womankind by throwing you dirty looks. You're actually doing a much better job than they are at it.

Kudos to you, I know I'd be glad to have a friend like you if I was in need. You should go talk to Seacat, you could start a 'good people who get misunderstood' club!

x
V

 

[Guest]

You are a great friend and she is lucky you were around.



Maharat

 

[Just-Legal]

A lesbian friend of mine recently had her baby at a local hospital. One of the nurses repeatedly asked her when the "father" was going to appear, and when her "sister" was going to leave.

She had a good laugh after explaining, for the third time, that the father was for all intents and purposes a turkey baster, and her "sister" was in fact her wife.

 

[Liar]

Am I crazy or has this happened to anyone else.

I'm sure it happens all the time. When you work with the same things day after day, you'll start developing certain assumptions. I'm sure the nurses have to deal with actual semi-deadbeat dads on a daily basis. So it's not surprising they mistake others for that too.

 

[keeblercrumb]

I know this should be reserved for the GB, but the people here are more decent.
I got a call this morning from my friend. She is about six months pregnant and was having severe back pains as of late. She went to her ob-gyn this morning and they took her to the hospital to check her out. She called me to secure her beast of a dog. I have a spare key so that was easy. Then, about five hours later she called to tell me that she was going to be admitted, could i bring her some things like books, toothbrush, chinese food. I canceled my plans and played errand boy, getting everything she needed. All the time, I saw it as doing a friend a favor. She has no car, on public aid, her soon to be babies daddy, out of the picture.
I know how it is to struggle, so helping was no problem at all. I get to the hospital with everything she needed and made my way to the maternity ward with bags in tow.
I asked for her room, was directed with a point of the finger and THE LOOK.
This is the look that says a thousand words. The nurses must have assumed I was the soon to be father, showing up about three hours after she was admitted without a care in the world. I guess it didn't help that I was dressed in a football jersey, cargo shorts, and new sneakers. LOL. Oh, it gets better. I'm black as midnight and shes is blond, blue eyes, amazing rack, yada yada, yada.
I found her room, which was in the high-risk pregnancy ward, gave her the chinese, books, cell phone charger and ate with her. When I left an hour later, I got the same look.
It wouldn't have been that bad if the same thing didn't happen to me ten years earlier. I had an ex-girlfriend that gave birth. We were still amicable so i visited her in the hospital with a few gifts. Got the same fucking look. Seems, that her boyfriend missed the delivery and they thought I was him. I guess I shouldn't be the first guy to show up in a maternity ward. Am I crazy or has this happened to anyone else. God forbid, I get married and have kids in the future and develop a phobia against the maternity ward.

Well I surely hope you can find a better hospital and maternity ward when it IS your time...

To be honest, my experience in maternity wards is pretty much limited to the birth of my own children is maternity wards as divserse as a small upstate NY city hospital (as a long hair hippy guy) and New Orlean's Southern Baptist Hospital (as a yankee).

I hope you will take some comfort in the fact that in both hsopitals the Nurses (in particular) were warm and friendly and highly tolerant of my babbling and paranoia. I always assumed it came with working in Maternity wards and witnessing the miracle of birth on a daily basis. The only really "happy" ward in a building full of the sick and dying.

On the other hand, it was 30 years ago.

I wish you luck... and of course, commend you on your loyalty to your friends.

-KC

 

[impressive]

Those who pass judgment with only a fraction of the information then openly condemn are pond scum.

How are mom & baby?

 

[The_Fractal_King]

Those who pass judgment with only a fraction of the information then openly condemn are pond scum.

Or maybe just overworked and tired. I remember my family and I getting "looks" when we went to visit my half-sister before and after she gave birth.

 

[kromen]

Shes staying another night and called me with another list. Now where did i put my Huggy Bear suit and walking cane? I'll give them something to stare at. LOL

 

[MagicaPractica]

You are indeed a good friend.

I heard something recently that I try to repeat to myself whenever someone else's opinion of me starts bothering me in some way. "It's none of my business what you think of me."

Just smile cheerfully and say good morning when you see them. (Confuses the hell out of the bastards. I had to go to work for over a month after I was told I was losing my job. I did that every day.)

 

[christabelll]

when my daughter was born by c-section the nursing staff refused to bring her to me for 12 hours after she was born. I was screaming for my baby and cursing up a blue streak because I was supposed to be breast feeding her...(we have to warm her up.... she's sleeping... you rest we will bring her in the morning)... I begged I pleaded I demanded telling them over and over again I was going to breast feed her.... After much bitching and calls to the nursery every 15 minutes "where's my baby?" "Why wont you bring her to me. I want my baby..." they at last relented the next day and brought her to me. Fuckers. They had given her TWO bottles before bringing her and breast feeding was horrific for the first several hours - she never did nurse well and after four months refused all together....


When my son was also born by c-section I had gone to a different hospital in the same town - the experience was completely different. They woke me up within minutes of him coming into the world, let me hold him on my chest while they were stitching me up... then took him to his father. Within an hour they had me back in my birthing room with my infant son latched like a python to my breast... He was ferocious LOLOLOL

Some places just dont deserve the word of maternity ward...and thats one hospital in Spring field missouri that needs a complete re-education on caring for babies and their moms...........

 

[JagFarlane]

I find quite a bit of irony in that. Mostly because a few reports I've read state that breast milk is highly important to an infant, especially in the first couple of days to life. Perhaps their doctors and nurses should take note of that.

But, at least with these stories, one can formulate important questions to ask when choosing a hospital to bear your child at. -nods-

 

[Guest]

In defense of maternity care, my sister-in-law had a horrible childbirth experience (blame the asshole doctor) and she was not ready to deal with her infant for a day or so. With many, many stitches, pain and residual meds, she needed assistance from the hospital caregivers. They took good care of them both. And she didn't plan on breastfeeding anyway, so it worked out for her.

There are wonderful hospitals, doctors and nurses out there.

But there are still so many unneeded interventions with normal childbirth situations.

Babies are very alert in the first hour or so after birth. They are ready to nurse and readily will, if given the opportunity. Then they'll sleep for awhile - being born is tough work.

But if the hospital offers a bottle when the baby wakes up (before the mom gets the chance to try to nurse) the baby won't be hungry when finally brought to the mom. It can really screw up those first breast feeding efforts.

I loved the eye contact with our children after they were born. They knew us, recognized our voices.

I mean, at that tender age, they couldn't navigate their heads but their eyes moved to my husband when he spoke and then back to me. Like - Hey!

We were very lucky with our experiences.

 

[jomar]

Well done, Kromen.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Jeez, the archaisisms going on! My children were born over thirty years ago and they were kept with Mom and allowed to nurse with no hitches clear back then. What could possibly excuse not doing it today?

 

[trysail]

I know this should be reserved for the GB, but the people here are more decent... Am I crazy or has this happened to anyone else. God forbid, I get married and have kids in the future and develop a phobia against the maternity ward.

"No good deed ever went unpunished."
-H. L. Mencken

 

[Stella_Omega]

Nurses on a maternity ward probably see (or never see) thousands of deadbeat fathers in a year. The number of not-father, but male, friends they see might be... ooohhh.. under three digits. To be very generous.

It's a profession that really doesn't see the best side of men, yanno?

God forbid, I get married and have kids in the future and develop a phobia against the maternity ward.

With all due respect, your wife will be the one having the babies. And if you disappear from the ward, you'll just be reinforcing the stereotype, and making it that much harder on the next men that buck the trend...

Do you really have a Huggy Bear getup? I'd LOVE to get a hospital visit from a man all pimped out! If I break my arm or something, can I call you?

 

[SeaCat]

Dude,

Just keep on helping her and who gives a rats ass what they think.

As a male in the nursing proffesion I am not even allowed into that area. There are now strict rules about this in my hospital, mainly because I was floated there one day.

The part that amazed me was the complaints didn't come from the patients but from the female Nursing Staff.

Cat

 

[SlickTony]

Dude,

Just keep on helping her and who gives a rats ass what they think.

As a male in the nursing proffesion I am not even allowed into that area. There are now strict rules about this in my hospital, mainly because I was floated there one day.

The part that amazed me was the complaints didn't come from the patients but from the female Nursing Staff.

Cat

I'm always amazed at how much into your work you seem to be, when so often it is described as underpaid, hellish drudgery.

 

[SeaCat]

I'm always amazed at how much into your work you seem to be, when so often it is described as underpaid, hellish drudgery.

Slick,

How can I explain it? I enjoy helping people, I actually enjoy taking care of them at their lowest when they need the help the most.

Maybe it's because at that point they are at their most human. They are stripped of their prejudices.

Cat

 

[SlickTony]

Slick,

How can I explain it? I enjoy helping people, I actually enjoy taking care of them at their lowest when they need the help the most.

Maybe it's because at that point they are at their most human. They are stripped of their prejudices.

Cat

Well, I have this theory.

I have another on-line friend who is somehow found by every animal who's in trouble, and she takes them in and takes care of them. Needless to say she has a real menagerie in her house. Once she had a pet wasp at her workplace. At her home, she even adopted a starling.

Some people wonder why anyone would do this, when there are are so many other ways in the world to do good, so many people to be taken care of.

The Lord set us to be stewards of the earth. There is something different for everybody to do.