Why get a DOM

[Stella_Omega]

For vanilla hetero women, the question would be; "What do you need a boyfriend for?"

She wants a boyfriend because she wants the other half of her, and that's going to be a man because she's a hetero woman.

That's the answer you're getting from the submissive women on this forum; they want the other half of themselves.

Or something like that...

 

[Soumis]

Because it's not nearly as much fun beating yourself silly.

Rather like trying to tickle yourself, it's never quite as satisfying.

 

[YourCaptor]

So what about boy subs?

 

[avrgblkgrl]

It can't be helped!

Seriously, pyls, what’s so great about them PYLs? Other than sexing.

And don't be lame and say love.

There is a natural pull between a dom and his sub. I never thought I'd be the type to say that because I always focussed on the physical side. But, when your true dom finds you and vice versa (and Im not niave enough to believe its just a one time thing), something shoots through you and it is more than just the need for sexual gratification. It's more than just having your juices pool between your legs. And it is mutual. It can start with just how a phrase is worded, the emphasis, a pause. For me it was a growing excitement, capped off with the simple way he said my name.You're a dom, I threw it at him like an angry accusation--I wasn't looking for that, I just wanted to play. And you're a sub, he said. The game was suddenly over. The effect he had on me was scarry and we were only chatting online. I wanted him and he want me. There was a pull and I couldnt walk away.

 

[VelvetSin]

For vanilla hetero women, the question would be; "What do you need a boyfriend for?"

She wants a boyfriend because she wants the other half of her, and that's going to be a man because she's a hetero woman.

That's the answer you're getting from the submissive women on this forum; they want the other half of themselves.

Or something like that...

I had a vanilla boyfriend and that same man became The Dom. After the weekend we just had, I think I can answer with a little more clarity. It's sort of like Yin and Yang. He does complete me (I feel like Mini-Me!) but it's in a way no vanilla relationship could.

With every other person in the world, including Him before He got the green light to take the relationship into this new realm, there are walls and facades that must be maintained. I've gone through life with barriers put in place to protect myself and keep others from knowing vulnerabilities. With the rest of the world, it's not safe to let those barriers go because the average person is wired to use visible weaknesses to their advantage no matter whether they are hurtful to me or not. With Him, I can let it all go and surrender. He uses those vulnerabilities for His (and my!) pleasure, not to truly harm, and would never dream of truly harming me, bruising and welts notwithstanding! but only takes it as far as I am comfortable and okay with going. There is a higher level of trust and respect that never developed in any other relationship. It is sorta like finding the other half of me, like Stella said, but it's more.

With every other vanilla relationship including this same one before this door was opened, something was missing. It was "good", but I was not getting something I needed and had no idea what that "something" was. I feel a little bit like Alice in Wonderland. Now that I've seen what is through the looking glass, I don't know that I'll ever be able to have a normal relationship. I don't understand how He was able to hold that part of himself back for so long because it seems the same for him (and he's said as much).

 

[VelvetSin]

Um.... where did you find this sale? I'm assuming not Walmart

It was actually a road-side sale. An asshole hit my (brand new, only made one payment on) car and then ran, hit-and-run. B witnessed the whole thing, chased the guy a block and got the license plate, then waited with me until the cops and ambulance came. One of the cruddiest and best days ever!

 

[Stella_Omega]

So what about boy subs?

They don't much exist around here, do they. But we do see a few men here who come to talk about needing a Mistress, so the same thing applies, I think.

 

[teknight]

just a n00b hijacking the thread for a sec

What's a pyl as opposed to a PYL? Literally what do the acronyms stand for?

 

[VelvetSin]

What's a pyl as opposed to a PYL? Literally what do the acronyms stand for?

I'm pretty sure it is

PYL = Pick Your Label = Dominant, Top, Master, etc.

pyl = pick your label = submissive, bottom, slave, etc.

Capitals for the Top and lower case for the bottom.

 

[satindesire]

So what about boy subs?

I don't think gender changes the need and what a pyl gets out of it.

 

[FungiUg]

Why get a SUB

Seriously, PYLs, what’s so great about them pyls? Other than sexing.

And don't be lame and say love.

Stripey bottoms.

 

[chy_girl]

Stripey bottoms.

Stripey boobies, actually. The bottom is mostly a giant welt and bruise.
(good things happen when I accidentally "break" Mistress' toys)

 

[FungiUg]

Stripey boobies, actually.

Hmmm... no. The boobs were more patchwork (biting, yum!)

 

[chy_girl]

Hmmm... no. The boobs were more patchwork (biting, yum!)

*peeks down the front of her shirt*

No... no, mine are very stripey today. They are usually splotchy though, but we had to modify my position and it ruled out most everything except hands and the dragon tongues.

 

[FungiUg]

*peeks down the front of her shirt*

Share the goodies!

No... no, mine are very stripey today. They are usually splotchy though, but we had to modify my position and it ruled out most everything except hands and the dragon tongues.

Let's see, this weekend involved teeth, clamps, and just lots of grabbing and twisting. The bruises were all from my teeth (and some older ones from a girl-friend's teeth). She doesn't really stripe up even when I cane her tits though, just blotchy bruising.

I can get stripes on her butt and down her legs though, particularly the outside of her legs. Of course, if I do that, she ends up crying. Which is why she will often ask me to do exactly that.

I suppose technically that makes her a masochist rather than a sub though.

 

[chy_girl]

Share the goodies!


Let's see, this weekend involved teeth, clamps, and just lots of grabbing and twisting. The bruises were all from my teeth (and some older ones from a girl-friend's teeth). She doesn't really stripe up even when I cane her tits though, just blotchy bruising.

I can get stripes on her butt and down her legs though, particularly the outside of her legs. Of course, if I do that, she ends up crying. Which is why she will often ask me to do exactly that.

I suppose technically that makes her a masochist rather than a sub though.

Pictures will have to wait till I can pull out the better camera....

Why can't she be a masochist and a sub? I'm both and I like each of them very much for different reasons.

Hmmm, last night was actually pretty simple for us...
Bound to a spanking bench, tortured with sensual play till I begged and started grabbing for the fucking rabbit fur, moderate flogging, light on the nipple play though, my begging for more, bites to the neck, breath play... Mistress broke her new paddle on my backside so she moved to the cutting board, the dragon's tongue, my begging not to stop and fighting them when they tried to untie me, more dragon's tongue (which hurts like hell over a week old temporary branding), a caning hard enough that evidently spectators were cringing, more of me begging for more, and then Mistress caning the hell out of me so hard and so fast that I eventually safeworded and promptly slid down to spend time being a puddle on the floor. Then begging for more and whining that I didn't want to be done.

Sir did start me on holding my head up despite the pain though. It was definitely something that stuck, but directions usually sink in more when they're gentle and sharply contrasted with "Ow, ow, ow.... but it huuuuuuuurrrts!" play.

God I can't wait till the kinky camping weekend!

 

[FungiUg]

Why can't she be a masochist and a sub?

She can be and is (er, actually she's a switch, but submissive to me.) It's just that "stripey bottoms" is more of a reason for a masochist than a submissive.

 

[chy_girl]

She can be and is (er, actually she's a switch, but submissive to me.) It's just that "stripey bottoms" is more of a reason for a masochist than a submissive.

I know! And no one mentioned that in the beginning...

Do you realize the looks you get for saying something about "I don't understand why she's hollering like that over a flogging... she's a submissive and Sir's not even hitting hard... That's like... a warm-up hit."

Thankfully the two that it was said to were very forgiving of my ignorance. And then explained it.

 

[YourCaptor]

There is a natural pull between a dom and his sub. I never thought I'd be the type to say that because I always focussed on the physical side. But, when your true dom finds you and vice versa (and Im not niave enough to believe its just a one time thing), something shoots through you and it is more than just the need for sexual gratification. It's more than just having your juices pool between your legs. And it is mutual. It can start with just how a phrase is worded, the emphasis, a pause. For me it was a growing excitement, capped off with the simple way he said my name.You're a dom, I threw it at him like an angry accusation--I wasn't looking for that, I just wanted to play. And you're a sub, he said. The game was suddenly over. The effect he had on me was scarry and we were only chatting online. I wanted him and he want me. There was a pull and I couldnt walk away.

Is it love?

I had a vanilla boyfriend and that same man became The Dom. After the weekend we just had, I think I can answer with a little more clarity. It's sort of like Yin and Yang. He does complete me (I feel like Mini-Me!) but it's in a way no vanilla relationship could.

With every other person in the world, including Him before He got the green light to take the relationship into this new realm, there are walls and facades that must be maintained. I've gone through life with barriers put in place to protect myself and keep others from knowing vulnerabilities. With the rest of the world, it's not safe to let those barriers go because the average person is wired to use visible weaknesses to their advantage no matter whether they are hurtful to me or not. With Him, I can let it all go and surrender. He uses those vulnerabilities for His (and my!) pleasure, not to truly harm, and would never dream of truly harming me, bruising and welts notwithstanding! but only takes it as far as I am comfortable and okay with going. There is a higher level of trust and respect that never developed in any other relationship. It is sorta like finding the other half of me, like Stella said, but it's more.

With every other vanilla relationship including this same one before this door was opened, something was missing. It was "good", but I was not getting something I needed and had no idea what that "something" was. I feel a little bit like Alice in Wonderland. Now that I've seen what is through the looking glass, I don't know that I'll ever be able to have a normal relationship. I don't understand how He was able to hold that part of himself back for so long because it seems the same for him (and he's said as much).

To me this seems to fit with ecstatic, as in, he can handle your vulnerable parts safely.

 

[Homburg]

Why get a SUB

Seriously, PYLs, what’s so great about them pyls? Other than sexing.

And don't be lame and say love.

Because non-submissive chicks tend to call the cops when you slap them around.

Tcha.


--

Yeah, I don't have a dom. Sometimes he's the boss of me and sometimes he isn't.

A full time boss wouldn't work well for me.

It's more like, "Why get an alpha male?", for me. In which case, the short answer is, "Because even though he's not always the boss of me, when he is the boss of me I need to believe it." I know my own worth and I'm not easily impressed by posturing. Confidence, combined with a tangible, believable reason for it, is my aphrodisiac, baby!

I've never seen a functional long-term relationship where one partner was the absolute boss of the other 24/7/365. Humans are humans, and no one is the boss every second.