why dont you go with him baby?

[beckiii]

hi, im becki, 23, i have been reading the stories here for a while and have had this idea floating round in my head for a while so thought id log in here and see if any one fancied taking it on.

the story revolves around myself, my bf Dan and his best friend Tyler.

it starts with tyler coming round to our house, telling us how he has just broke up with his gf, so obviously he is very upset, even more so as he had a holiday booked for the 2 of them, my bf dan being the concerned friend, suggests that i go with tyler on the holiday, so at least he doesnt have to cancel that.

so we both go on the holiday, both having no intentions of it being anything other than a holiday as friends, however through the holiday, due to the romantic setting, days in bikinis, drinks at nights, we start to flirt more and more and eventually it gets too much and we end up cheating together.

i am looking for someone who can write a slow patient build up, including a lot of resistance from both me and Tyler, with a few scenes set on the holiday, with the flirting getting more and more intense.

anyone open to this idea?

 

[MatthewVett]

It sounds like a nice idea, and with the vacation, there are definitely a few ways to take advantage of that.

Maybe your luggage gets lost, including your pajamas and swimsuits, so you have to sleep wearing nothing or close to it, and you think you're going to miss out on the beaches entirely, until Tyler notices that there's a clothing optional beach that you'll be near. Just some ideas. I have my own story queue right now, so I'm unlikely to write it myself, but best of luck to you!

 

[beckiii]

thanks for the suggestion Matthew but not too sure about the losing luggage idea, not really a fan of nudism, apart from in the bedroom!!

 

[beckiii]

buummppppp!! no one interested?

 

[hoo_hoo_boo]

buummppppp!! no one interested?

I think you should write it- you have the thoughts about the finesse of it, not just the story. I'd worry that it could extend into a huge thing and I don't know that it should be huge. I think though that it could be an excellent story

 

[SecondCircle]

The thing that would be hard is capturing the characters' personalities. After all, they're you and yours. The idea is solid and would definitely make for a great story, but the qualities of your characters (you for instance) would be hard to capture true to form, for your purposes.

Like, if it was written and you were reading it when it got posted, you'd probably find yourself saying, "that's not how I would act," or "he wouldn't say something like that."

If you find someone, maybe give them an overview of the three personalities, like a small summary of each. Might get more enjoyment that way.

 

[misatumbas]

If you find someone, maybe give them an overview of the three personalities, like a small summary of each. Might get more enjoyment that way.

what (s)he said!

All stories are fun because of the characters and their interactions, not because of physicality of their actions. And any build up consists of characters interacting, not the scenery and circumstances, that's just the background.

I mean, I would say that these two people would go around the island, seeing romantic secluded places and he would wistfully sigh, dejected look in his eyes, constantly "We'd fuck here, it would have been gloriouos, oh well"... You might find that infurientingly pathetic and boring if nothing else, really...

Write it all down then read it - whatever seems boring or to far fetched - scratch away - you'll have your story in no time

 

[beckiii]

hi everyone, thanks for all your advice however i would say im not an author at all, i actually find more enjoyment from reading other peoples take on things, to read how they think things would happen.

however i would love to work with someone on writing this, i'd be happy to share some pics on me and the 2 guys and also answer any questions an author might have.

bex

 

[geronimo_appleby]

which category do you see it in? is it romance as opposed to nasty?

 

[beckiii]

yes i see it as more of a romantic story, falling for each other throughout the holiday x

 

[geronimo_appleby]

yes i see it as more of a romantic story, falling for each other throughout the holiday x

sounds easy enough.

 

[sr71plt]

I'd look forward to the story of what Dan was doing while you and Tyler were off on your holiday. (and maybe why he was so in favor of you going)

 

[geronimo_appleby]

I'd look forward to the story of what Dan was doing while you and Tyler were off on your holiday. (and maybe why he was so in favor of you going)

ooh, you devious bastard!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I'd look forward to the story of what Dan was doing while you and Tyler were off on your holiday. (and maybe why he was so in favor of you going)

ooh, you devious bastard!

I'm surprised pilot didn't suggest a new tack: Becki urges Dan to go with Tyler.

 

[Stryke_Infinite]

An interesting idea.

I can't believe no ones decided to write it yet.

Kudos on requesting resistance. That slow build-up (in my opinion) is integral to a solid story.

 

[Euphony]

I normally discount these sorts of requests due to the ridiculousness of most of them.
\
This one, however, was actually semi-plausible while having seriously interesting undertones/concepts to play with. I think it could work well.

However...

Biographical almost never works well unless you know the subjects intimately. Other posters mentioned this and I think it bears repeating. The mannerisms, flirtations, and stages of resistance then the seduction will either be the authors OR require oceans of time and interviewing to get even close to reality.

To spec stories are almost always better when short. Long involved complex stories give so many more opportunities to conflict with the named people. The happy medium Ive found is keeping the physical points spot on and throwing in a few nuanced mannerisms/quirks to give a false sense of there being the "whole" personality. People naturally want to identify/see themselves in charcs so, especially in spec work, you need to give them just enough to do so, no more. (or you risk conflicts)

This would likely be a massive undertaking (it seems a push/pull story throughout) and I wonder how many authors would be willing to invest that kind of time without the freedom to go in other directions if their muse sees fit. Conflict drives the whole narrative and there needs to be PLENTY of it (and unique conflict too. Not just "oh no they shouldnt". Overdone, gets old)

I think the ideas here are great. I really do. If the OP is serious about the project, I would define EXACTLY how flexible she is. If they just need to look like her, tyler, et all, somebody might actually go for it. If she starts dictating the story though, she'd be best off writing it herself.

Oh, and I know she suggested she can't/wont/wants to see what others could do with it.

You're going to have to near write it WITH someone if its to be anything more than "dudes and dudettes with your names" Youd be amazed at just what YOUR story, even if it was poorly written, would offer a future author/rewriter as far as inspiration goes.

Some of the best stories Ive ever written were reworks of really poorly done offerings here. It just lets the whole scenario take over your headspace. Then you add, rewrite, fix, explore as you see fit.

 

[Euphony]

awkward points

I thought Id touch on a few of the awkward points I foresaw. Maybe other peoples "reality meter" isnt as sensitive as mine. They'll chime in with their thoughts if so.

it starts with tyler coming round to our house, telling us how he has just broke up with his gf, so obviously he is very upset, even more so as he had a holiday booked for the 2 of them, my bf dan being the concerned friend, suggests that i go with tyler on the holiday, so at least he doesnt have to cancel that.

This feels way too much like trying to walk a tightrope. As pitched the boyfriend is so concerned about his pals emotional state, he's not only willing to offer HIS help but his girlfriends as well. (and apparently "he can't help so shes goes in his stead)

Too odd. Even if they are best friends since starting school together and this "breakup" was with his fiance, I dont see this level of help offered. As is, its almost like hes more concerned about his friends relationships than his own.

Flip it round.

Buddy woe is me's his buddy into BUYING the romantic holiday off of him. Girlfriend is over the moon at FINALLY having a proper holiday (maybe this has been a relationship issue for them for quite some time) She buys new suits, goes tanning, hangs tickets on the dridge, in short goes batty over the soon to be event. Boyfriend has PLAUSIBLE reason to not go (we're talking death in family, serious illness, prospect of being fired if a client leaves/he misses some mega-event, etc)

Now his motivation is saving HIS OWN ASS, which people are far more apt to do.

so we both go on the holiday, both having no intentions of it being anything other than a holiday as friends, however through the holiday, due to the romantic setting, days in bikinis, drinks at nights, we start to flirt more and more and eventually it gets too much and we end up cheating together.

Why? Why do a committed person and a thrown out on his ass (so very likely looking for a rebound opportunity) decide its a good idea for them to go away on a "romantic" trip together? Forget that BF allows it (a stretch for sure) Why don't they themselves see the possible pitfalls or at the very least the sense of impropriety surely all their friends and family would see immediately?

It feels very much a "have your cake and eat it too" thing. The more you lean on the romance and magic of the trip, the more the reader will wonder why they ignored this when deciding "hey lets US go"

Cake = innocent pals just having a holiday together b/c girlfriend backed out

Eating it too = So romantic that it overwhelms them both so they cheat even being good little boy and girl.

i am looking for someone who can write a slow patient build up, including a lot of resistance from both me and Tyler, with a few scenes set on the holiday, with the flirting getting more and more intense.

anyone open to this idea?

Nothing wrong with asking but be aware just how big your request really is. This is easily a multichapter story with very complex psychological and emotion themes running throughout.

And the author needs to stay within your own reality so as to give you a sense you are in the thick of it.

No matter how hot you are (and that seems to be the nectar most female flowers offer here) your wishes may be sort of a venus fly trap.

The more you are willing to work with the author and be flexible, the more likely all parties will get what they desire.

 

[sexual tyrannosaurus]

bf told her to go

I'd look forward to the story of what Dan was doing while you and Tyler were off on your holiday. (and maybe why he was so in favor of you going)

If he told her to go ahead and go with him, I think there is a lot of thought to the bf wanting his friend to get it on with his gf. Does he take things out of her luggage: putting only her one skimpiest two piece bikini she only wears in the back yard behind their high fence, does he take most or all of her bra/panties out of the suitcase, leave only one skimpy, lacy, see through baby doll nighty to sleep in, does he only put back in the luggage, a couple silky and revealing dinner gowns etc. Also, does he not have sex with her for a week or two with excuses of working late, being tire, feeling sick etc before she goes. Would he send their video camera in the suit case, did he her birth control pills out of her purse, or know that she was going to be on her fertile days during the vacation with him if she is not on the pill. Does she even know he wants her to do it or not, have they talked about it, does his friend have a clue. Just some ideas if you want to go in that direction...

 

[Teechurgye]

I like the idea of her offering to be his "wing woman" to pick up a woman. She overhears the things he says to them. Maybe overhears the sex.

She misses being wooed. There's an aura of expected routine in her relationship that is disappointing to say the least. She wants to be pursued by Tyler just to feel alive...knowing she still has "it". Confident she will be able to stop things just in time.