Why do people take offence?

[Guest]

I posted a perfectly innocent reply to a thread today and some woman shot me down, why?

 

[Lasher]

spelling errors?

 

[Melody_lane]

Damnit Lasher, that was my line!

 

[Lasher]

LOL...ya just gotta be quicker....

 

[Guest]

Give a girl a break, will ya, huh?

Obviously she was doing the keyboard with one hand, talking on the phone with the other hand (doh! you heard about her addiction to phone sex) and masturbating with the other hand.

 

[Melody_lane]

Damn unregistered users!

I feel MUCH better now....

 

[Guest]

I don't have 3 hands Rachel and Crystal and I've become quite adept with masturbating hands free with help from a little friend I ordered a while ago.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Nice to know Gary Coleman found work.

 

[Lasher]

Gives a whole new meaning to "Different Strokes".

 

[Lovely Latina]

LOL!

(*Smoooooooch!*)

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Lasher?"

 

[Skitten]

lmao lasher just too cool.

 

[Guest]

I had me a great job exploring the wet caverns of the Western world until that damned Gary Coleman went into the mail order business!

 

[Havocman]

Goddamn it DCL..Lasher you too...I just spewed Pepsi and sunflower seeds all over my desk...there's little speckles of Pepsi and sunflower seeds on the monitor screen as well. Shit! hehehe

Nice to see you two are still slaying 'em left and right...LOL

Havoc

 

[Shylady]

hmmm well now not only am i infatuated with dixon now looks like i am going to have to add lasher.

 

[Melody_lane]

Hey shylady.....join the club.

And unlike Gary Coleman's...you don't Have to send money.

Although...
Don't get any ideas boys.

 

[Sammyjo]

Most of the time it tends to do with either spelling/grammatical/English language errors OR the fact that the person doesn't agree with what you say...believe me, you haven't heard the last of it.

Don't let it get to you...you will get used to it and ignore their sorry asses.

 

[Guest]

I know that I am not yet registered as I am new here, but I have been reading alot of the general chats tonite as I cant sleep and I wanted to say something, but I am sure I too will be shot down in flames. I feel bad for anyone that is new and interjects into these discussions, it does not seem that the little group or click that are regulars are very welcoming. In fact, you ridicule and laugh at comments and questions that are brought forth with such glee that it is almost like a high school click here with little personal discussions like " who would you like to fuck from the 'group' and such. I dont think you all realize how you have closed your ranks up to just this small grouping. i am sure there are lots of people that would like to join in, but are intimated by the exclusivity of this group. the prime example is the question raised by this gentleman and the shooting down he recieved by just about all of you. Please dont be so cruel and closed off. i hope this commenting doesnt meet with hostility and humilation as fodder for more ridicule by you all, as i would like to particpate in these talks. just remember a little welcome is nice to someone " not in the group". it is hard to jump into an established click. thanks and I hope to read some responses that are not too harsh against me.

 

[Cheyenne]

chatmic: Don't know if I can be considered one of the regulars or not, but "welcome to the board" anyway! I found what worked for me about a month or so ago was to post a question and wait for feedback. I didn't get shot down, I got lots of thoughtful responses. Same with another question I just posed a few days ago. The "group" helped me make a decision, kind of like an on-line vote. Give them a chance, most are pretty nice. Or at least funny.

 

[Shylady]

i spend alot of time in the chat room here and i think i am considered a regular there. I have notice that people there tend to whine that we are a closed bunch of people are the ones that are rude or are just trying to offend. So my advice is to just be polite and talk to people get to know them and soon you will be right in there. That is what i am trying to do here. Just use the manners you would in real life. Most people are very friendly.

 

[Guest]

thank you shylady, but i am not rude nor trying to offend, in fact i think i am being very polite and my comments were thoughts i have felt from watching and reading this bulletin board over several days time and seeing a pattern that seemed both meanspirited and closed.
and Cheyenne, the man that wrote this question received neither good feedback nor assistance and his question was sincere and open.
I have seen this group be funny, witty and complimentary, unfortunately the compliments werent very often sent to people outside the inner circle.
i am sure that i will be shot down for my comments. i hope i am wrong, i truly do. i would like to be able to post on the BB and i hope get a chance to know some of these people as well. thanks for letting me interject. i dont always stand up and speak my mind, i hope i dont regret it here. but i felt you guys overdid it with the gentleman that wrote a sincere inquiry. i am sure it was harmless, but not to him i bet.

 

[Guest]

btw: thanks to both shylady and cheyenne for their nice answers and for welcoming me. i am not always so serious. i will try to lighten up. i forgot to thank yu before.

 

[Hecate]

To everybody else new around here ....

I too was a "newbie" not too long ago as easily is visible on my date-tag attached to my handle.

Question is: Do YOU consider me part of the "regular group"?

If I asked someone who came here during the last few weeks maybe the answer would be Yes! I obviously registered before you did.

If I asked someone who (to me) seems to have been round "forever" the answer would possibly be : No! by some of the people I wasn't "in touch" with yet. Others of the "regulars" though might already consider me part of the "regulars" community ...

I wonder - if I hadn't found a open and warm reception here - would I still be here? Or rather would I be here at all? Maybe I was just "lucky" to have stumbled across the "right" people and some others had the "bad luck" to stumble across the "wrong" ones?

The "clique" (sp??) thing is something that you will find on ANY BB all over the internet, no matter which topic it is related to, no matter what age group, no matter what people - and it is just as it is IRL.... if you are hanging out long and regular enough in a place, you will become a part of it, understand the internal jokes and references. You will adapt to the unspoken and unwritten rules and you will not notice.


No harm meant, no disrespect, but hey, it is just the way we all are made. ... and honestly, we all belong to one group or another, and even though we do all we can do to make new people joining the group feel home and comfy, it will take a while before they and you feel like the buddies the ones having been together for a longer period of time already are.

Unfortunately on a BB (as opposed to meeting a bunch of new people in a pub) the "oldbies" can NOT see and thus won't realize that there are people reading a thread and NOT get the message. Remeber - no puzzled face expressions or "Errh....s??" available for your conversation partner here. Plus add the factor of internationality, including different life styles, ages, cultural backgrounds plus different languages ehwhen talking about groups on the internet as opposed to the pub down the road.

Thus please don't take things too personally, don't feel left out on purpose - come on in, take a seat and make yourself comfy. You will see in the shortest time you will be someone reading a post from a "newbie" saying that YOU!! were part of a clique and were not very open and receiving towards new people - and just like me you will be sitting here wondering what the heck the poster is talking about since you too only came and joined the happy bunch.

OK, enough rambling I assume - does anybody still get my point? I was thinking I had something really cool and important to say but ... putting it in short I guess it boils down to:

Give yourself, us and them (whoever that is in each individual case and constellation) a bit of a chance. And do not judge a group by one single member you might not click with. Not all "regulars" are the same as well as all "newbies" are different.

Hope it made sense somehow ...
Hecate (considering herself a "midbe")


[This message has been edited by Hecate (edited 05-31-2000).]

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

I've been on the board from the beginning and shot down my share of pedophiles, poodle-poochers, racist thugs and mean-spirited trolls, but aside from them I have always welcomed new people on post number one. By post two they're regulars. There are just too many new people every day for any of us to keep score or care about who's a regular. If you feel on the outside it's because you've put yourself there. Honestly, no one cares. If you're funny, articulate, charming, thoughtful or in any teeny-tiny way a lucid, sane human being, you've always been welcome immediately. New people fall into the fold every single day, including Rhian. Rhian has not been shot down. He read too much into a humorous post and got ribbed for it. I've been ribbed. We've all been ribbed. Melody, in fact, comes "Ribbed For Your Pleasure". We're all ribbers. Rhian is very welcome and no one has any problem whatsoever with him.

So, let's all just post and laugh.

And pass the ribs.

[This message has been edited by Dixon Carter Lee (edited 05-31-2000).]

 

[Fallen Angel]

I want a few of those ribs and pass the BBQ sauce. Just throw the bones on the floor for Zeke

rhian got a lot of response for what little info he posted. One problem with being unregistered is that there is no way to back track and find what the fuss is about without reading all the threads till you find where he posted before.

Newbie bashing? Hey those virgins only last a short while if they are willing to post.