Why do guys like being dominated?

[infamousfobb]

OK, I'm pretty new to all this BB stuff. But reading through some of the forums (and the stories), I've noticed that lots of guys like being dominated and controlled. Why? Is there like some desire to be treated lowly? By "dominant", I don't mean like the woman taking control in bed, sometimes that's a really good thing. What I mean is some guys like being totally submissive and like to be treated almost slave-like to their lovers. A lot of authors on Literotica seem to be into the cuckolding thing as the majority of their stories puts them in the cuckolder's role, where they are humiliated and abused by their lovers. Also some guys like to wear panties...I just don't get it. If any of you guys have done any of these things, can you please explain why you're into these things. And for the girls, if you've done these things to guys, or known guys who are like this, what are your thoughts about it, and do you look down at the guy you're doing it to, like they are less of a man.

I don't mean to offend anyone with these questions, I'm just curious. Thanks.

 

[SexyChele]

Well, I can't really answer your question as to why a man would like or enjoy certain things. But my first Dominant (and yes, he was the dominanting one in the relationship) wore pantyhose once when we were, um, intimate. He had a major pantyhose fetish to begin with, and he decided he wanted to know what they felt like to wear. At first I was a little shocked, but I have to admit it was one of the most erotic experiences I've ever had. Would love to repeat it some day!

Hopefully, others can answer your questions better than I can...

 

[rick_j21]

First I do not think I can answer the question for you effectively. To submit or Dominate either one come from the pschye of the human brain and if you can figure that out you are far better than I. I gladly submit because I feel it makes me complete. I have a desire and need that I can not explain that are only answered when I submit. I have always needed that one who could direct, guide, love, and dominate me. I hope someone can answer for you why they are what they are. I just know that for me it's who I am.

 

[Ebonyfire]

And for the girls, if you've done these things to guys, or known guys who are like this, what are your thoughts about it, and do you look down at the guy you're doing it to, like they are less of a man.

I

GIRLS?

Eb

 

[lark sparrow]

Re: Re: Why do guys like being dominated?

GIRLS?

Eb

Giggles... oops lesson number one about submitting questions to a Domme.

Akin to calling a Dom "boy".

 

[Ebonyfire]

Re: Re: Re: Why do guys like being dominated?

Giggles... oops lesson number one about submitting questions to a Domme.

Akin to calling a Dom "boy".

LOL. He really does not want an answer from Me.

Eb

 

[SexyChele]

Something tells me you are exactly who this person should be hearing from!

 

[Hecate]

Re: Re: Why do guys like being dominated?

GIRLS?

Eb

for f**** sake Eb *ROFLMAO*, I pop in here after ages, and this is the first thing I stumble across, good thing I had that coffee down before reading .... you perfectly brought that point across Madam! ;-)

On a more serious note, infamousfobb:
I consider myself a female with a quite dominant streak. I do not think less of those who submit to me as they make me a precious gift of their total trust. They trust me with their life to not do anything to them that will be harmfull in any mental physical and social way.

The reasons for submission may vary, from just wanting to let go of all everyday responsibility for a limited time and scene to an innate feeling of servitude. As little as some may understand our attraction to sensation (rather than pain) some may not understand the attraction and dynamics of power exchange to a degree that may border to or swap into the realm of humiliation.

Why do you NOT like to wear panties? Have you ever tried? the smooth satin, cool silk that slides across skin is no less sexy on male skin - just "different" to our role-models.

just a few very short and far from complete or elaborate tidbits to ponder ... and I might actually be back with one of my "rants" on that *lol*

 

[gomeade]

Others have made very good points about why people submit. I would add that many people enjoy submission because of the delicate tightrope walk their dom's lead them into. The dom provides sensations that build, and as the submissive surrenders more and more power, he/she gets off on the realisation that he/she doesn't fully know what comes next or how hard or fast, etc. All the sub can cling to is trust and the limits they have agreed upon. That is a very electrifying situation, whether fantasized or real.

 

[chatbug]

One guy's view

If any of you guys have done any of these things, can you please explain why you're into these things?

I enjoy when I'm bound and a woman is in control of the situation and teases me. The teasing can be physical or sexual. Let me give you one physical example.

I met with a woman last Wednesday at 9pm at a local motel for a play session. Neither of us had eaten since lunch. There was a McDonalds across the street. I was a little hungry, but not starving. She wanted to eat before we started. I came up with an idea that she could torment me by having dinner while I was bound. She thought it was a great idea, and went over to McDonalds to get her food.

When we got into the room, I took off my clothes and she tied me to a chair. She took off her sweater but left her t-shirt and jeans on. She made a show of eating at first but decided she'd rather just have a conversation. After she finished eating, she lit a cigarette and continued the conversation. The burger and fries were completely cold before she teasingly fed me a few nibbles, threw the rest of the food away, and untied me.

I'll try to expaln why this was fun for the both of us.

From her point of view, I suspect she enjoyed making me wait for my little bit of food. She also knew I was paying attention to her and thinking about her needs. She had something I wanted, and it wasn't about sex. It was about power. She had it, and I was willing to let her use it.

From my point of view, I was curious to see what she'd do to me. She'd never teased someone with food before and it was a new experience for her. I like that when her overt teasing didn't work, she just settled back and treated it like an ordinary dinner. I wanted to see exactly what she'd do. Her being dressed and my being naked just emphasised even more that she was in total control of the situation.

When she lit the cigarette and continued the conversation, she was saying by her actions, "Thanks for the dinner. I want to relax now, and I don't care if smoke drifts on the little bit of cold food I'll eventually feed you. I don't care if you're hungry. I'm only thinking about myself and what I want." While I wouldn't want to live with someone who thinks like that all the time, it's arousing in small doses.

 

[mjnelson]

I have always loved to be dominate to my slavegirl and I still usually am. However, lately I've been having a lot of fun being dominated by her. Its always a mystery to see what she's gonna do to me. I've been begging her to handcuff me or tie me up while she bathes and gets ready for the evening. Then we play all night.

 

[infamousfobb]

Thank you to everyone for their insight.

To chatbug,
Thanks for sharing your experience. My question is, why did you come up with this scenario for her to do to you? Have you always had a fantasy where you were totally helpless? Personally, if I wanted to role play with my girlfriend, a situation like this would NEVER have crossed my mind. To me, it's just weird. No offense intended. I'm just curious if you've always had a need to feel helpless, and not in control of the situation. Thanks for sharing again.

To Hecate:
Why don't I like to wear panties?-I think that there should be some fine line between a guy and a girl. No, I'm not a "macho pig", but to me, a guy should wear guy undergarments, and a girl should wear girl undergarments. It's like a guy imagining a female lover wearing "tighty-whiteys"...not a good visual. Just like I doubt a woman will find find her male lover attractive if he takes off his shirt and is sporting a bra. In bed, I love it when my girlfriend "takes control", but that's only sometimes. But having sex is a bit different then a guy wanting to be tied up and bound, or wearing panties. Each people just has their own tastes I guess, that's just all it comes down to. Thanks for your insight though.


Thanks to everyone for posting their insights on this...I still find it weird for a guy to want to be totally dominated by another woman, but who am I to judge? I probably like things that would make others raise an eyebrow.

 

[lovetoread]

Thanks to everyone for posting their insights on this...I still find it weird for a guy to want to be totally dominated by another woman, but who am I to judge? I probably like things that would make others raise an eyebrow.

But the fact that a woman does this is okay?

Is that what you are saying?

Tis something unnatural for a man to want to follow the wishes of a woman?

 

[Guest]

 

[lovetoread]

Says who??

He did. At least that was my take.

Morning.

 

[Guest]

 

[Vulpesvulpes]

I consider myself a dominant but I have played on the other side and liked it. I'll tell you why.

I'm a slut. I like sex and the kinkier the better but I don't always want the responsibility of running a scene. Sometimes I just want to lay back and have someone else call the shots. If that means she wants to strap on a dildo and fuck my ass, I'm up for it! (In my head, I am still in charge so this may not count as being dominated)

I am open to just about any new physical sensation because of the possibility that it might feel really good.

I don't have any hangups about what roles we should play, taboos, social mores, etc. In addition, my hard limits list is pretty short.

-Vv

 

[infamousfobb]

lovetoread,
If you read my posts, you'll see that I said nothing about how it's supposed to be a man dominating a woman. My questions posted asked about fetishes such as a guy wearing panties, or a guy wanting to tied and bound, feeling all helpless. Do I find that a bit unnatural? In MY opinion, MY opinion only, yes it is. Following the wishes of a woman is far different from agreeing to wear panties, being tied up and bound for no other reason than so she can feel dominant while the guy is helpless as was said in "chatbug's" story, or in Vulpesvulpes story where he felt it was ok to have the girl "strap on a dildo and fuck [his] ass". For me personally, when my girlfriend is dominant in bed, it usually means she takes control. Does she tell me what to do? Yes. Do I oblige? Yes. But there's a limit. If she were to all of a sudden want to tie me up and have me dressed in panties, or go buy a strap on, there's no way that's going to happen.

To me, my mind state is that I won't allow those things to ever happen. That's why this post is called "why do guys like being dominated?" because I'm curious as to why men who are dominated like it so much. I'm not talking about once in a long while, I mean like a dominant/slave type of relationship.

By the way, thanks for sharing your story Vulpes.

 

[chatbug]

Thanks for sharing your experience. My question is, why did you come up with this scenario for her to do to you? Have you always had a fantasy where you were totally helpless? Personally, if I wanted to role play with my girlfriend, a situation like this would NEVER have crossed my mind. To me, it's just weird. No offense intended. I'm just curious if you've always had a need to feel helpless, and not in control of the situation. Thanks for sharing again.

I can appreciate that there are certain submissive activities that you do not wish to participate in, although you're trying to understand. I have some submissive fantasies that I would never want to experience.

I had written about food torments before, and the situation presented itself, so I decided I wanted to have this woman torment me with her dinner. I suppose I have a lot of fantasies where I'm totally helpless, since most of the stories I've posted are dominant female / (perfect) submissive male stories. I guess I've always had this desire to be under a woman's control, although I don't get many opportunities to fulfill the desire.

As I said before, it's about power and trust. I am willing to give a women power over me, and I trust her to not abuse that power by doing things to me that will damage me.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Why do guys like to be dominated by girls?

I don't know, as guys are adults, girls children, and we don't talk to pedophiles or other known criminals here.

As for why men like to be dominated by women--why does anyone like to be dominated? Some people feel the need to submit. There is no why, it just is.

Why do you prefer to have sex with women rather than men? See what I mean? It's not an answerable question.

For me personally, when my girlfriend is dominant in bed, it usually means she takes control. Does she tell me what to do? Yes. Do I oblige? Yes. But there's a limit. If she were to all of a sudden want to tie me up and have me dressed in panties, or go buy a strap on, there's no way that's going to happen.

To me, this says that you do understand the desire to submit to a woman--you've said more than once that your partner is at least sometimes sexually Dominant, which would by necessity make you at least sometimes sexually submissive. Your limits just preclude crossgendering and anal penetration. That's the only difference--your confusion isn't about submitting to a woman, it's about taking that submission past the limits of your own. Everyone's limits are different, dear. That's true all around, no matter what genitalia the participants possess.

 

[submanslut]

It has to do with not being in control. I spend 9 hours at work deciding, I dont want it when I get home.
Also, more than that, I like not knowing whats coming next. I like the trust involved.

Like my name says, im a slut, I like sex alot.

I also like making my domme feel happy. If she wants to tag me with a dildo, ill do it to make her happy.

 

[Cardinal]

I am just starting to enjoy the sub life style and I couldn't be happier! I am looking forward to how far we can take this but for now my wife likes to tell me to masterbate rather than get me off herself.
As for the panties, I would love to but I don't know if my wife is there yet.

 

[Gorath_00]

Why do guys like to be dominatied ((havent figured out the quote thing YET lol


Maybe it is somthing to do with thier childhood? I was beaten regularly... for stuff I did wrong, of course, but maybe its that some feel the need to keep that childhood going? I dont know.. I am not as experienced as yall are..

 

[Ebonyfire]

Why do guys like to be dominatied ((havent figured out the quote thing YET lol


Maybe it is somthing to do with thier childhood? I was beaten regularly... for stuff I did wrong, of course, but maybe its that some feel the need to keep that childhood going? I dont know.. I am not as experienced as yall are..

Being abused as a child and being dominated are two different things.

I am a Domme with male subs and none of my subs were abused as children. In fact they are remarkably well adjusted men.
Ebony

 

[Gorath_00]

Well not abused really.. just spanked. Alot.

I guess I am preety mal adjusted, though. I dont feel like whineing about my life, though, so I wont.