Samuari
Twice Blessed
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2000
- Posts
- 4,072
Madam samuari found these on another BB, and I thought that they were a scream:
Andersen Consulting
eregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
Monty Python: Which chicken? Do you mean a SouthAfrican Chicken or a South African Grey Chicken? It makes a difference, you see, because a South AfricanChicken can carry a coconut on it's back while itcrosses, but a South African Grey Chicken is muchsmaller, and therefore, of course, as a naturalconsequence, cannot carry a coconut...
Albert Einstein: Did the chicken cross the road, ordid the road move under the chicken? It's allrelative, you see.
Sigmund Freud: The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalksign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she wasenvious, selbstverstaendlich.
William Faulkner: A slight hesitation perhaps mayhave prevented, or, at least, lessened the disasterthat ensued, and might even have produced an outcomethat would have resulted in a safe crossing, had thechicken, perhaps, not abandoned all thought ofpossible consequences, even though none could predictthe end that came to be.
Dr. Seuss:
They wish to be on the other side.
This is a fact they do not hide.
This is a fact.
This is so true.
Crossing roads is what chickens do.
What is there?
They do not know.
They want to know,
therefore, they go.
Karl Marx:To escape the bourgeois middle-classstruggle.
Bill Gates:It doesn't matter since I'll soon own thechicken, the road and the air you're breathing to askthe question.
Basil Fawlty: Oh, don't mind that chicken. It's fromBarcelona.
Darth Vader: Never underestimate the power of thedark side of the road
Andersen Consulting
eregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful. Monty Python: Which chicken? Do you mean a SouthAfrican Chicken or a South African Grey Chicken? It makes a difference, you see, because a South AfricanChicken can carry a coconut on it's back while itcrosses, but a South African Grey Chicken is muchsmaller, and therefore, of course, as a naturalconsequence, cannot carry a coconut...
Albert Einstein: Did the chicken cross the road, ordid the road move under the chicken? It's allrelative, you see.
Sigmund Freud: The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalksign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she wasenvious, selbstverstaendlich.
William Faulkner: A slight hesitation perhaps mayhave prevented, or, at least, lessened the disasterthat ensued, and might even have produced an outcomethat would have resulted in a safe crossing, had thechicken, perhaps, not abandoned all thought ofpossible consequences, even though none could predictthe end that came to be.
Dr. Seuss:
They wish to be on the other side.
This is a fact they do not hide.
This is a fact.
This is so true.
Crossing roads is what chickens do.
What is there?
They do not know.
They want to know,
therefore, they go.
Karl Marx:To escape the bourgeois middle-classstruggle.
Bill Gates:It doesn't matter since I'll soon own thechicken, the road and the air you're breathing to askthe question.
Basil Fawlty: Oh, don't mind that chicken. It's fromBarcelona.
Darth Vader: Never underestimate the power of thedark side of the road
