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Why did i enjoy this...

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gumbie

Experienced
Joined
Feb 14, 2002
Posts
78
i have always been a good little bottom boy who shuts up and does what he is told to do. Yesterday, i met a man for the first time who took me into new territory. He is older with a very nice cock who greatly enjoyed using my openings. Then, here is the new part, he had me torture him! We are talking cbt, nt, etc. i beat his ass, his balls, pumped up his nipples and attacked them. i liked it! No, i loved it! i loved watching him squirm in pain/pleasure. i probably spent half an hour or so tormenting him. He wanted me to fuck him, but no can do. So he fucked me again like a madman!

i wondered why i enjoyed hurting him so much without any sexual gratification at all. Do i have a Dark Side underneath my dark side? Is there a Switch hidden deep within me? Or was i just giving back to the Boss?

Any thoughts?
 
I have no ideas for you.


I'm just here stalking pagan switch ;-D and hijacking another thread.
 
Sounds like you like to get him off the way he likes, and you have a lil sado streak at least. Switch, sure, do you want to be?
 
i can't really tell you why you enjoyed it. Only you can answer what feelings were going on at the time of the act.

If it made You feel powerful, in control, exhilirated and provided a rush that bottoming/subbing doesn't, then all You need to know is you've discovered a side of yourself that might warrant further exploration. Don't get caught up in the terminology. Have fun finding your own spot and making it home for you. To me, it sounds like it was a first time experience and not all first time experiences cements us in our BDSM roles, rather the ongoing experimentation and resulting experiences help to determine where we feel most comfortable. Good luck.

lara
 
S'lara talked about the power/control side, and Netzach mentioned a couple other possibilities such as a little sadism. You will hear lot about not worrying about labels and enjoying yourself, but as one who likes to know what's going on to help me know where to go, my addition to the conversation is to taste the mental/emotional and physical flavor in retrospect (or by doing it again!) of what you enjoyed about the experience.

Another side of the coin to consider is whether it was the intensity you liked. The adrenaline rush of doing something new and scary. Or whether giving out the licks seemed like a taboo to you, and therein lay the thrill.

Happy cbting and whatever!

Sorry I can't supply music -- maybe Xelebes is around?
 
I know for me that a lot of the thrill I get from inflicting pain is about pushing the other person's boundaries and enjoyment. I don't enjoy inflicting pain where the other person doesn't enjoy receiving it.

So there's a self-less part of the enjoyment. That's not to say I don't have an inner Sadist in there rattling the bars and all keen to get out! But the motivation isn't quite that pure or mean.
 
gumbie said:
i have always been a good little bottom boy who shuts up and does what he is told to do. Yesterday, i met a man for the first time who took me into new territory. He is older with a very nice cock who greatly enjoyed using my openings. Then, here is the new part, he had me torture him! We are talking cbt, nt, etc. i beat his ass, his balls, pumped up his nipples and attacked them. i liked it! No, i loved it! i loved watching him squirm in pain/pleasure. i probably spent half an hour or so tormenting him. He wanted me to fuck him, but no can do. So he fucked me again like a madman!

i wondered why i enjoyed hurting him so much without any sexual gratification at all. Do i have a Dark Side underneath my dark side? Is there a Switch hidden deep within me? Or was i just giving back to the Boss?

Any thoughts?
Click to expand...

you have repressed emotions that are fucking you up in the head....

next..
 
Re: Re: Why did i enjoy this...

bytor2112 said:
you have repressed emotions that are fucking you up in the head....

next..
Click to expand...
ewwwww wtf is that smell in here *looks up* oh nevermind :rolleyes:
 
Re: Re: Re: Why did i enjoy this...

Kajira Callista said:
ewwwww wtf is that smell in here *looks up* oh nevermind :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

but might you not enjoy a steaming load on your chest...
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Why did i enjoy this...

bytor2112 said:
but might you not enjoy a steaming load on your chest...
Click to expand...

Actually if she's like me, and I think she is, she'd prefer it on her face.
 
Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Why did i enjoy this...

A Desert Rose said:
Actually if she's like me, and I think she is, she'd prefer it on her face.
Click to expand...

well....i meant defecation not cum...so if you still meant you like that on your face....
 
ya know im betting he just picked here to make his 100 posts so he can put up an av...i wonder what the av would be
 
LOL... his posts get more stupid all the time.

And oh, but he does say things that sooo embarrass and demean us, doesn't he?
 
A Desert Rose said:
LOL... his posts get more stupid all the time.

And oh, but he does say things that sooo embarrass and demean us, doesn't he?
Click to expand...
he heee hee...if he only knew
 
A Desert Rose said:
Yes, he gets more stupid all the time... and he continues to prove me right.
Click to expand...

"more stupid" have you maybe been slapped one too many times???
 
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