Why can't it just be about S-E-X?

[Sweet_Seige]

i've been married goin on 10 yrs so i have a different kind of view of this whole thing...i've thought about this alot...
I love my hubby truly and deeply but about 2 yrs ago things started to go wrong...in the sense that something seemed to be missing. I think we just got caught up in other things and started to grow apart and go in separate directions. We were both sort of "cheating" in our own ways, although neither one of us had actually had sex with anyone else.
After long discussions and careful consideration we both decided that instead of ending the marriage we would both be more open and honest with eachother. This of course included being with other people on occassion. Dont get me wrong, its not an everyday or even every month thing but it has changed things alot.
Now we share our experiences and we've even gotten closer since then. There is no jealousy really, and it's sort of "our little secret" but it has been a positive thing in our marriage and we are even better than before.
I know for some it might be hard to understand and it's even harder to explain, since most people cant differentiate between love and sex....I've come to realize Sex is just a physical act that we all need, and love is deep inside somewhere that is untouchable.
Sometimes i actually feel enlightened by all this!
**comments????

 

[SGTBIGDOG420]

SGTBIGDOG just how far are ya from St. Louis? lol

hell for what you are offering I might just have to move.

 

[The Dipsomaniac]

You know there are far too few girls in the world who feel like this!!!

Though i have met a couple over the years they are few and far between. One girl i met was an absolute nymphomaniac. Had a fun two weeks - then moved on and on the odd occasion we'd get together for old times...

Dam her - shes married now and doesnt put out... only to hubbie - (which i'm happy for him!)

Cheers to you Jen!

TD

 

[SweetCherry]

In my younger days, I had a fwe "fick buddies". One of them I'd dated for a few months but we broke it off cuz all ithere was between us was a sexual attraction. We kept in contact and still had sex from time to time, even when he'd started dating a girl he later ended up marrying 7 years later.

Another was a guy I worked with. He was in a different department, so it was no big deal. He would invite me over, or come to my apartment, we'd have a few drnks and get down and dirty in bed.

 

[MissTaken]

....I've come to realize Sex is just a physical act that we all need, and love is deep inside somewhere that is untouchable.
Sometimes i actually feel enlightened by all this!
**comments????

I would agree and have had similar experiences, not with my husb, but with a boyfriend who worked far too many hours to be here when i needed him.

Again, if all ecpectations are clear and it is safe, consensual, and what everyone wants....

IF it feels good, Do it!

 

[Kymberley]

hell for what you are offering I might just have to move.

want the address? lol

 

[Young Knave]

So, if the person you loved went out and had meaningless sex, you wouldn't mind?

If it were my wife, it would! If it were a good buddy of mine, I'd say more power to him!

Of course, it's obvious from the context of my statement that I meant that I could have sex without becoming emotionally attached to my partner(s). I have a hunch you knew that already, you feisty creature!

 

[Angel]

You know, I'm real big on the independent woman thing. I don't want a clingy man. I don't want to be the chick with two kids in one arm, and a laundry basket in the other, cooking dinner and changing diapers and folding clothes all day long. My mom did it for the first 5 years of my life and I just can't see myself in that situation.

Which is not to say I don't want kids. I do. One. MAYBE two. I would also love to have the means to be a stay at home mother at least until the youngest (if I have more than one) is in school full time. But I'd have to work out of the home. I'd have to do it.

I don't want a husband who I have to baby, and who I have to depend on to survive. I don't want a husband who goes out of the house to work and hang out with his friends and I get to sit home and be wife and mom all day. I absofuckinlutely refuse. I've kicked and bit and clawed and fought hard against every male who has tried to mold me into the image of the perfect housewife including my father.

I want rabid violent sex with a hot guy on a daily basis damnit - not routine, I owe you cause you put a ring on my finger sex.

For all of that, I still can't - really, I can't I've tried! To have a purely sexual relationship, or even friend with benefits. I can't do it. I've tried twice and each time have failed miserably.

The first time, we both got attatched, but like everyone else he tried to fold me up and stuff me into a mold that I wasn't willing to fit into. You think I get pissy and bitchy on lit? I think I scared that poor guy away from ever dating another woman again. He's still traumatized to this day.

The second time, I was bound and determined to not get attatched. I even picked a guy who while incredibly fucking beautifully FINE AS HELL was totally incapable of handling a committed relationship. He was absolutely, incredibly perfect looking, with a fucked up personality. But he could eat pussy like a champ. Whoo Hoo. Long story short - he didn't want a commitment but he also decided that I was his, and could never again look at, much less fuck another man again. HE could do whatever he wanted, cause you know... we weren't committed. But I was HIS.

*snort*

Not to mention I get too attatched. Although with the second guy I hightailed it out of there ASAP despite my idiotic attatchment to him.

 

[Thumper]

It must be...

Some local law around here that says it's against the rules for women to engage in sex only relationships

Lord knows I have tried to find them...and I am so not jealous.

My partner has had a few encounters...I knew beforehand...

Umm...Kymberley, if you ever find your self in this godforsaken town...

 

[Kymberley]

Re: It must be...

Some local law around here that says it's against the rules for women to engage in sex only relationships

Sounds like you definately would have to move then. OMG who would create such laws?

Umm...Kymberley, if you ever find your self in this godforsaken town...

And just what godforsaken town do you live in? Gotta watch out for the nuns and the priests, they are still searching for me, something about burning my wickedness at the stake. Not sure what triggered that, but thankfully SweetNick is still covering for me with them.

 

[Thumper]

Just east of ...

Cincinnati...

and ten years back! LOL

As for at the stake...I have a variation on that theme..hehehehe No burning though...

We still burn witches here. But visiting the stocks is fun, all the ne'er do wells and ruffians we can make fun of.

*A bisexual woman that would just want to use me*

St Looey is looking good these days...

 

[FlamingoBlue]

I used to call it "sport fucking"....

Recreational sex. Unfortunately, when and if emotion enters into the picture, everything changes.

I spent about 30 years of my life involved in superficial relationships with women that had little emotion except during orgasm. In retrospect, the relationships were all dysfunctional and negatively impacted my view of women and relationships. I have since learned about intimacy and the role that sex plays in a relationship. The learning process has been interesting, to say the least.

As I have grown older and wiser, the role that sex plays in my life has changed, dramatically. It no longer is the determining factor in my relaionship with a woman. Then, again, I am 58, married twice and have 3 grown children. Sex is now the cherry on top of the hot fudge sundae. Intimacy and companionship is now where its at for me.

blue

 

[Kymberley]

I do understand all that FlamingoBlue. But for me, I don't want anything more. I just don't see why in order to live happily ever after, it involves some knight in shining armor.

I have a great job, two great kids, enough pets to open a damn zoo. I don't want to worry about maintaining a relationship or all the energy that it takes to keep it working. I just want the physical sex.

It is rather complex I guess.

Sex is sex, Love is love.

You don't have sex with everyone you love, and you don't have to love everyone you have sex with.

I honestly have never felt the type of intimate, emotional sex you are describing, and I don't even think I am capable of enjoying that.

 

[HARDKOREBJ]

talk about sex

you are lucky to even enjoy and know what sex is.im still a virgin for some odd reason.i am very shy for some reason.most women don`t like shy men like me.i don`t stink or look like a freak.i clean up real nice.im very hansome and sweet guy.i may never get sex.i will keep trying no mater what.

 

[The Dipsomaniac]

Yes the lust factor is thie biggie here. No-ties pure lust-no-love sex is THE BEST. You can wake up the next day and just think WOW.

Then go back to your life. (If you have one)

ps. now to get back to that job of seducing that other chick down the road...

 

[Rubyfruit]

Sex is Never just About sex for me

If all I cared about was getting off, I'd use my vibrator or Sybian.

I'm not for complicated emotional entanglements, however if my lover isn't there heart, mind, body and soul, I probably won't be coming around for a second helping.

I need an emotional, intellectual and sexual connection to be satisfied in bed.

Ruby

 

[Kymberley]

Re: Sex is Never just About sex for me

If all I cared about was getting off, I'd use my vibrator or Sybian.

I'm not for complicated emotional entanglements, however if my lover isn't there heart, mind, body and soul, I probably won't be coming around for a second helping.

I need an emotional, intellectual and sexual connection to be satisfied in bed.

Ruby

I completely understand Ruby. I used to feel the same way about sex until a few years ago. Now, I just find that I do not care for any attachment other than the orgasms.

 

[Paradox]

I've found that I can enjoy sex and friendship without needing to expect anything more. Many women will probably say, "yeah, sure, but your a man." But, this is a pretty new position for me. It all changed about 18 months ago. I'm not sure why, but it did.

 

[Karmic]

I tried that, the guy was developing emotionins towards me so I stopped the relationship, was that wrong?

 

[Guest]

 

[Paradox]

Anybody close to Chicago

 

[pluckdduck]

My Only Problem with this is WHY NOT FRIENDS?
I have Many Female Friends and a Few that enjoy the occasional romp through the hay With a Non committed male.
My Question is if I Hold their hands, give them a Shoulder for Support, lick their wounds,and Listen intently for hours about their latest heart break or Problem.. Why am I Out of bounds for that free and uncommited Fuck!!!!!!!!
Am I to Important to to lose as a friend to be allowed that pleasure, or am I Not worth their effort.
I am Not the elephant man I am a careing man that goes without while some Piece of Crap she could give two shits about gets her pleasures. Am I Pissed Hell yes!!!!! Will I ceace being their friends? Hell No!!!!!!
Guess I will crawl back into my Hole and wait for one of them to call me with a problem.
Damn if men weren't so Ugly I would turn Gay!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[pluckdduck]

Yep Still Pissed and still thinking
If This person is your real friend he already has listened to you enough to know what pleases you and what You enjoy or fantacise about in your innermost thoughts. He would be able to start at a Point above where another lover could. Now theres a thought a casual lover you have nothing to hide from, one you know cares about you more than sex, one whose relationship to you is in careing for You on all levels. One who has already PROVEN Your Value to him.
Yep thinking of turning Bi any transvestites out there interested in a naked caring Duck?? I am Becoming "Game"
I made a Funny while Still pissed. See how valuable a friend can be.
FYI I will probably be back to this one when I think of something else to add
Still a Pissed Duck

 

[Kymberley]

Guess you have been burned huh Duck?
I do believe you could be yayati's long lost shit, he dumped last night.

I just deleted the heart felt offer of consoling you and making you feel someone better after reading how you truly feel about women on another thread.

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=50183&pagenumber=1

Minx
Sorry to tell you this , but the rules we play by today were instigated by your predessors.

" Egual Rights under the law". Or does that only matter when it is convient for the Lessor Sex? I think not. You Bimbos wanted Your rights so You can have them up your sweaty goat Smelling Cheeks..

If You want to be a man Stand up and Piss without pissing on your legs. as of now the best you can do is whine about the toilet seat being up.

Myself I leave it down so women can sit on it wet.

What a thoughtfull lover I am

 

[pluckdduck]

Thanks for the advise Kym.

The one in paticular does Know and we keep it that way She has no doubts of my feelings ,but is Very involved with a man Way under her potential.. So I pick up the pieces and put them back together so she can do it all over again. Cussing under my breath the whole time LOL

The others are friends and will remain that way.. Like you say a Friendship is a terrible thing to Bet ,on one night of lust. And the major Problem between men and women is once the line is crossed there is No going back.

I Know my frustrations and know why, still doesn't keep me from getting hot about it from time to time LOL and thankfully only when I think about it. I think about it a lot when I am Lonley LOL

I did have the pleasure of a relationship like you want a few years back and it was a wonderful thing in many ways ,but to be honest as great as the Sex was there was a Missing componet.
I knew what it was and so did she. Some how there has to be more of a connection than Physical for me.

But Good Luck in your Search I am sure You will have No Problem finding the right guy