Why are men like parking spaces?

[Chicklet]

Don't worry, I'm doing the right thing.

But I'm so pissed off and annoyed and irritated and disapointed all at once that I have to share this with everyone.

i've developed a HUGE crush on this really really cute guy... he's everything I want in a man, appearance wise... I totally admit I don't know him well at all yet. But it seemed to be going really well.

Well, lol, he calls me yesterday morning while I was asleep and when I answered muttered something about having something very important to tell me the next time we were online together. Then he had to go, and left me pondering my way out of bed. It didn't take very much clicking once I knew I was looking for something to find out... dun dun dun. He's married.

so he logs in a few hours later and I said "okay, you're going to prison for child molestation?" he says 'no...' i say 'okay, you're a government spy for russia and you're being recalled home tomorrow.' he says 'no...' and i say 'well it must be the marriage thing then.'

We'd had a conversation that could have enlightened me earlier... talking about money and he said he was broke from being married. I assumed, and we all know what assuming does to you and me, that the money had disapeared in a divorce, and indeed had begun a conversation about how expensive divorce was.

I should have known.

Oh, but he assures me, "she's totally okay with it."

So, I've done the poly thing. My roommates are poly. It works for some people. Open marriages work for some people. But... not me.

I tell him so.

He assures me he *wants* to leave her. lol. He wants to, but she's just so emotionally unstable... he launches into a story. About halfway through I catch myself realizing that I'm feeling sorry for her, thinking to myself "well he CANT leave her!" and that's when I have the out of body experience and realize what a cliche this all is. And that's when I get angry. lol.

I'm just pissed off. First guy i'm attracted to in months and he's married. I wish he'd told me before I started to like him. Men are jerks.

C

 

[BiBunny]

Men are like outhouses: All the good ones are taken and the rest are full of shit!

Seriously, though, chicklet, I'm sorry. People can be so dumb sometimes. You were right to be angry. I stupidly got involved with a married man once, and I assure you that nothing good can come out of a situation like that.

Oh, and as for the poly thing? I'm as poly as they come, but if she was really "okay" with it, he'd have told you about her up front, AND you'd probably have met her. A lot of women would've fallen for it, though. Good for you for knowing that this particular outhouse was both taken AND full of shit. *Hugs*

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, and he sounds like a prize jerk. Anyone who wants to get out of a marriage, can..it is a safety net so they can play without the risk of getting tied to those they play with. Fortunately you are smart enough not to get caught in his topsy turvy world.

Catalina

 

[graceanne]

*hugs* I'm so sorry, hon.

And good for you, seeing into his bullshit. I've known people in relationships like that, where they're both allowed to play, and the wife and girlfriend usually at least know eachother. I actually had a friend who lived with a married guy for 5 years. Shortly after her boyfriend and his wife had split up (never divorced) his wife found out she was dying from cancer. If he'd divorced her she'd have lost her medical insurance, so he remained married to her. But they didn't live together, and my friend and his wife both knew eachother and about eachother.

 

[the captians wench]

*hugs* I'm so sorry, hon.

And good for you, seeing into his bullshit. I've known people in relationships like that, where they're both allowed to play, and the wife and girlfriend usually at least know eachother. I actually had a friend who lived with a married guy for 5 years. Shortly after her boyfriend and his wife had split up (never divorced) his wife found out she was dying from cancer. If he'd divorced her she'd have lost her medical insurance, so he remained married to her. But they didn't live together, and my friend and his wife both knew eachother and about eachother.

That sounds a little like me. My ex and I are still married, and one of the big reasons I don't press the issue is that I'm still covered by his insureance as long as we are leagally married. His girlfriend on the other hand doesn't like this idea anymore. Guess she's tired of him making "the other woman" joke. *giggles* I can see how that might get old and make you feel like a bit less.

 

[Chicklet]

Wench I might even be somewhat okay with it if it was a situation like yours - but it's not. They're living together, and she's supposedly just open to the idea of him having another lover. But they're still in the same bed every night.

I call BS on this (extremely sexy) fucker!

 

[the captians wench]

Wench I might even be somewhat okay with it if it was a situation like yours - but it's not. They're living together, and she's supposedly just open to the idea of him having another lover. But they're still in the same bed every night.

I call BS on this (extremely sexy) fucker!

Oh yeah, I totally get that, and I tend to agree with you that he's full of it. But atleast he told you before you got too too deep. The last married guy that fooled me didn't admit he was married and not seperated until after I got home from our weekend together

Not that it really makes it any easier when they tell you something like that. It really is something to be proud of what you did.

 

[WriterDom]

Yeah some men are jerks. I know a guy who got a blow job from his wife and right away he came he said "By the way, I'm leaving you."

 

[Chicklet]

So, you're telling me you know a single man?




hook me up

 

[WriterDom]

No, he remarried. Way too old for you anyway. 59 or so.

 

[Yang4yin]

Men are like outhouses: All the good ones are taken and the rest are full of shit!

Hmmm... I must be full of shit. Maybe that's why my eyes are brown.

 

[Netzach]

Maybe she is OK with it, maybe not. Either way, at least it's relatively upfront that you find out and there was the plan to let you know. Some people never give you the adulterer's courtesy. There's a special Dante's ring for people screwing around on the sly that I'll wind up on. There's a lower rung for the people who try and hide the married status till well into the pussy.

 

[Chicklet]

Maybe she is OK with it, maybe not. Either way, at least it's relatively upfront that you find out and there was the plan to let you know.

I actually strongly agree with you. I've defended him to the people I've ranted at who say he's a liar. I told him, too, that I really didn't think of him as a liar, and didn't feel deceived.

BUT

I *AM* frustrated!

= (

 

[pellso27]

once you find a good one, you just turn off the engine

 

[pellso27]

what....hit a nerve?

 

[NoLeafClover7]

.....

 

[cinnamonstick]

That guy is a total scumbag. It is sad but it seems you can't give people even basic trust to tell you the truth. If the wife was ever fine with him seeing other people he would have told you from day one. He wouldn't have told you that divorces are expensive.

 

[Netzach]

I actually strongly agree with you. I've defended him to the people I've ranted at who say he's a liar. I told him, too, that I really didn't think of him as a liar, and didn't feel deceived.

BUT

I *AM* frustrated!

= (

Hell yeah! Sometimes boundaries suck!

 

[Marquis]

There's nothing better than a girl who's too caught up with the sound of your voice to actually hear what you're saying.

Like fish in a barrel.

 

[Netzach]

There's nothing better than a girl who's too caught up with the sound of your voice to actually hear what you're saying.

Like fish in a barrel.

Ughhhghhh how about when that happens and you're trying NOT to exploit it and it happens anyway???? Fuck it, I should just think like a dick more often.

 

[Marquis]

Ughhhghhh how about when that happens and you're trying NOT to exploit it and it happens anyway???? Fuck it, I should just think like a dick more often.

I generally try to avoid playing with those lacking the kind of defenses necessary to keep from feeling really victimized. But if THEY should fool ME on that front, then I can't very well be blamed for that, can I?

 

[wouldloveto]

Ah Chiclet...

So, you're telling me you know a single man?




hook me up

I am single, and have been quietly following some of your postings...

I would love to have any opportunity to get to know you!

I am not taken, but I may be full of shit, that would be for you to decide.

 

[Bandit58]

He assures me he *wants* to leave her. lol. He wants to, but she's just so emotionally unstable...

I think I met the same guy

Just after I left my ex I met this guy online - I was emotionally vulnerable and he said all the right things. I fell for him big time and went to meet him 4 times over the course of a few months (he lived 4 hours drive away). Then he started to see someone else in his town and began to distance himself from me online and not answer his phone. He blamed pressure of work and study but then I talked to the other woman on IM and found out he was spending a lot of time with her and telling her he loved her.....grrr I was so hurt and angry. He was also lying to her as he told her he hadn't chatted to me for ages but it was only a week before. That was the deal breaker. We still emailed occasionally after that but by then I was involved with Master Gil.

That was in 2002/03. As far as I know he's still married. The last email I got from him, after I moved in with Master Gil, said that if I ever came back to NZ he would love to pick up where we left off. I didn't bother to reply

 

[Chicklet]

not worth a new thread, but men still suck.

 

[callinectes]

So..I'm slow and don't get the analogy..why are men like parking spaces?