Why Am I Stuck On This Scene Transition?

[wastelandwriter]

Writing a sword and sorcery fantasy, the characters have met, they want to bang. Two women, one guy. They have parked their wagons by a river and someone will take care of the animals and they have all decided, yes, it is enthusiastic threeway time. All three are into each other.

Why is it so hard to write this transition from "Yes we should bang" to the actual banging?

They've got a spot, they walk over to it and throw down some blankets, and then peel off clothes and throw down.

I'm happy with everything I've written up to this point. I'm comfortable with writing the threeway once it's all hot and heavy and the actual sex action is started. And I'm not exactly new to writing. So I just... can't figure out why I'm so stumped on the characters walking over to a spot and getting it on. Like that minute or two of transition feels suddenly so awkward somehow.

Anyone else ever run into this problem, where there's a short span of time between deciding to bang and the actual shedding of clothes and hot smashy-smashy action?

 

[TadOverdon]

Just one declarative sentence about what one person does. Then see what happens.

Transitions are sometimes the perplexing part, aren't they? How many words does it take to get someone out of their chair and opening a door? Sometimes three or four, if that. It's weirdly hard to remember that words themselves have authority. Two declarations in a row actually can evoke a sense of continuous activity, absent adverbs and "ings." I got re-taught that by a friend reading over my shoulder the other day.

 

[LAHomedog]

My suggestion is like real life you need a trigger. Usually sex doesn't just happen. Something triggers it. An action -- large or small -- a word, a sentence, a gesture.

It can be something as simple as one of them taking off a shoe or boot, or reaching for something high on the wagon and revealing an intimate body part.

Maybe a trip and a spill? Something funny like bird poop? Any trigger will transition you. Just base it on what one of your characters would actually do.

 

[PoisonPen33]

To quote Raymond Chandler...

When in doubt, have a man come through a door with his penis in his hand.

 

[TadOverdon]

A paraphrase, surely. LOL

 

[NotWise]

When I have trouble with a transition, it's often because there's something amiss in the paragraphs leading up to it. I have to go back and fix the lead-in before the transition works.

Could your setup rob the scene of momentum before it even gets started, so that you're trying to transition something that's basically dead in the water?

 

[HarryHill]

Writing a sword and sorcery fantasy, the characters have met, they want to bang. Two women, one guy. They have parked their wagons by a river and someone will take care of the animals and they have all decided, yes, it is enthusiastic threeway time. All three are into each other.

Why is it so hard to write this transition from "Yes we should bang" to the actual banging?

They've got a spot, they walk over to it and throw down some blankets, and then peel off clothes and throw down.

I'm happy with everything I've written up to this point. I'm comfortable with writing the threeway once it's all hot and heavy and the actual sex action is started. And I'm not exactly new to writing. So I just... can't figure out why I'm so stumped on the characters walking over to a spot and getting it on. Like that minute or two of transition feels suddenly so awkward somehow.

Anyone else ever run into this problem, where there's a short span of time between deciding to bang and the actual shedding of clothes and hot smashy-smashy action?

..
Alcohol and or drugs or adrenaline from some shared activity should move the characters along.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

My suggestion is like real life you need a trigger. Usually sex doesn't just happen. Something triggers it. An action -- large or small -- a word, a sentence, a gesture.

It can be something as simple as one of them taking off a shoe or boot, or reaching for something high on the wagon and revealing an intimate body part.

Maybe a trip and a spill? Something funny like bird poop? Any trigger will transition you. Just base it on what one of your characters would actually do.

Agreed in general, but perhaps the OP might consider using the characters’ feelings as a trigger?

Despite the wand in his hand, the boy lost his confidence when he beheld the smouldering eyes of the two beauties in front of him.

“Ridiculous!” he thought to himself. “You’ve fought dragons, conquered a kingdom, sat on the High Elven Council. You’re no mere adolescent. You’ve had women before!”

With a silent oath, his hands reached for the two women.​

 

[Sextified]

Anyone else ever run into this problem, where there's a short span of time between deciding to bang and the actual shedding of clothes and hot smashy-smashy action?

Sometimes it is your POV that can be a large part of the problem. What viewpoint is your story written in?

If you, and your characters, have all already decided on a threesome, ask yourself this question. Which of the three wants it the most, and why? Look at the upcoming scene to hone in on their reasons, and use their excitement to help with the transition.

Have any of the possible combinations ever hooked up before? The two women wanting to add a man? One of the possible couples both finally admitting that they are actually attracted to their female traveling companion?

Sometimes, I will describe the scene rather intensely from one viewpoint. One of the girls is jealous at having to hear the regular couple pair off every night. The women go down to water the horses, while the man deals with getting enough firewood for the night. The woman from the regular couple decides to clean up as best she can for tonight's festivities, and in the shallow water she accidentally lets her new traveling companion see a little too much skin.

That leads to them both deciding to wash out all their clothes, and in the ensuing teasing, they bring back the match that kicks off the sexual fireworks back at the campsite.

Somebody ALWAYS wants sex more than anyone else in a situation. Figure out which of your characters is guilty of that, and then let THEM solve your problem for you.

 

[lovecraft68]

When I have trouble with a transition, it's often because there's something amiss in the paragraphs leading up to it. I have to go back and fix the lead-in before the transition works.

Could your setup rob the scene of momentum before it even gets started, so that you're trying to transition something that's basically dead in the water?

I do this and I liken it to trying to make a jump with your bike when you were a kid, you have to keep going back further to gain the momentum to get to the other side

 

[LAHomedog]

Agreed in general, but perhaps the OP might consider using the characters’ feelings as a trigger?

Despite the wand in his hand, the boy lost his confidence when he beheld the smouldering eyes of the two beauties in front of him.

“Ridiculous!” he thought to himself. “You’ve fought dragons, conquered a kingdom, sat on the High Elven Council. You’re no mere adolescent. You’ve had women before!”

With a silent oath, his hands reached for the two women.​

Agree completely. That's why I said "a word, a sentence." Yes, a feeling, a motivation, the subtext, a need they are all triggers. Almost everything in life needs some trigger, a reason for a passive response to become an active response.

 

[NotWise]

I do this and I liken it to trying to make a jump with your bike when you were a kid, you have to keep going back further to gain the momentum to get to the other side

Good analogy.

 

[AlphaLyon]

As others have said, if your build up to this moment is fine and doesn't have any flaws, take that "no one's making a move" and turn it into a plot point where the characters all have a want, but no one wants to make the first move. Use that nervous energy.

He sat at the campfire, watching the light glisten off her breastplate. Since the first time he met her, he wondered what riches they kept so securely. He had conquered dozens of caves full of golden treasures without fear or hesitation, but when it came to women, he was nothing more than a child playing pretend with a wooden sword.

His looks did not go without notice, and as she felt his gaze undress her with his eyes, she spread her legs wider, adding to the places he longed to conquer.

She (female#2) saw the dance and rolled her eyes.
"Just fuck already," she said, cutting the tension that had reached a breaking point.

Basically, you're going to need one character with the balls to actually kick things off.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Sometimes I have sex scenes that are very abrupt, sometimes they take a long time to develop.

Since it's a swords and sorcery fantasy, I guess it's sort of set in the Middle Ages. But it's not the real Middle Ages, with the actual morality of that period. It could be closer to what happens in the last fifty years or so in the modern world. You can adjust the sexual behavior of the characters in any way you want, which might include abrupt sex.

Then again, I'm not an expert on Medieval social customs.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I sympathise. I find if I write the outcome, then it's clearer how they got there. Right now I have my pair of leads in a nightclub where people go to hook up. They've found two guys. They all want to take this further. How do I get them out of the club back to their hotel?

A day on and I've got part of it down, but I'm just going to skip to them being in their room with the guys. It might just need the more drunk one to say "next thing I knew..."

 

[TadOverdon]

Skipping ahead to write the part that's working for you isn't a bad idea if you're really stuck. The problem part will likely as not unstick itself in your subconscious at some point, and...in the meantime, you've written something.