Whoops.. I should post it here instead..!

[Le Jacquelope]

I finally have a story posted!
Lady Bashirah, Chapter 1.

Would someone mind taking a look at it and telling me what ya think? I'm doing Chapter 2 now

 

[MercyMia]

I haven't read the posted (published) version in its entirety yet, but the cuts at the beginning definitely make the text work better.

Are you happy with the trimmed version?
Are you writing the next installment differently now, based on the edits suggested by others?

Good luck

 

[Le Jacquelope]

I haven't read the posted (published) version in its entirety yet, but the cuts at the beginning definitely make the text work better.

Are you happy with the trimmed version?
Are you writing the next installment differently now, based on the edits suggested by others?

Good luck

I am kind of happy with the trimmed version.. I soooo much liked the full one better. Not the grammatical mistakes, but the fullness of it all.

And yes, I am definitely factoring the suggestions of others, into my next work (the next chapter, and the next story).

 

[MercyMia]

I am kind of happy with the trimmed version.. I soooo much liked the full one better. Not the grammatical mistakes, but the fullness of it all.

And yes, I am definitely factoring the suggestions of others, into my next work (the next chapter, and the next story).

I hear what you're saying...

Artistically, we'd like to write the way we want to write. However, we also would like to please our audience. It boils down to...indulge artistic desires or please audience. Lucky the writer who can achieve both.



Congratulations!

 

[Le Jacquelope]

You know what my problem is? I am too repetitive. I have too few words in my vocabulary for the a things or action. But by God, I LOVE describing a sex scene as wet and slippery and deep (physically and emotionally) as possible!

Ahhhh how can I do better!