WHOO HOO! my first story!

[pulaski]

Whoo Hoo!! My first story (that I have submitted) was finally accepted

It ended up in the illustrated section as I included a word drawing, I submitted it for erotic couplings but oh well.

Its called "By Chance or Destiny" Of course now that I have re-read it again there are a number of typos, but what the hey, Im still jazzed.

link: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=62838

Appreciate any feedback good or bad

 

[Chantal Marchon]

The plot idea is good. The sex is interesting, but the wording tends to be redundant and there are many missing punctuation marks and misspelled words. Also when two different characters are speaking, they must each have their own paragraphs. You will find that your story is easier to read when the paragraphs are properly broken up.

Other than that it is not a bad first story. It just needs a bit of clean up.

 

[Dolma Kalem]

Congratulations on being published! You done well.

Dolma

 

[SilentLady]

WHOO HOO! my first story!

Other than the already mentioned (and you won't make then again will you?) little mistakes I really enjoyed the story . Congrats on the publication of your first story and keep them coming.

All My Works

 

[pulaski]

paragraph?

Thanks for your input guys!

Yes, I noticed a number of errors when I reread it after submitting it. But then I suck at punctuation. Oh well, I will work on it.

One thing I am curious about though is why should quotes by different people be in seperate paragraphs? If I quoted someone asking a question, shouldnt the quoted reply be within the same para?? It is regarding the same topic & I thought that was one rule for paragraphs.

 

[Chantal Marchon]

Sentences containing the same subject are put together in one paragraph except in dialogue. Dialogue is put into seperate paragraphs for each character. I believe this rule developed to help the reader understand the flow of which character is doing what.

 

[Dolma Kalem]

Chantal's right. It's just one of those rules that you should obey. You'll see the difference when you've re written it. It will be much easier for the reader to work out who is speaking, without loads of 'he replied', she said, etc..

Just bask in your glory for a while, and then listen to the really experience people here who'll help you to improve.


Dolma

 

[pulaski]

OK, I understand now. Thanks

 

[Nathan11Spears]

I liked "By Chance or Destiny?" Pulaski. Moved me in the right way, and in the right places, .

I thought including a floor-plan for the shower was unusual and interesting as I hadn't considered the possibility of graphics when posting a story to Literotica. (gives me ideas! ) But as I was reading "By Chance or Destiny?", I didn't think the floor-plan was really necessary; the description of the showers worked well good enough for me.

A couple of other minor quibbles: I thought the title was vague and overblown, and I thought the mention of "decades" together at the end was forced too.

By the way, I'm a besotted Literotica newbie too, so if you have any feedback/comments/criticism of my first story, I'd welcome them.

my story:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=62782

And I don't want to derail your feedback thread, so I started one of my own:
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=112542