"Who Would Jesus Do?"

Shendude

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This phrase just popped into my head, followed the realization that it wouldn't take much alteration to make the "Jesus fish" into a cock and balls...
 
Shendude said:
This phrase just popped into my head, followed the realization that it wouldn't take much alteration to make the "Jesus fish" into a cock and balls...
I don't know about the cock and balls :rolleyes: but I've thought about this after reading The Di Vinci Code . Why couldn't someone write a story about the SOG (son of God) getting it on with Mary M and a few of the others. Could even be a gay male story. Didn't he say something about becoming "fishers of men?" :eek: Who cares if it's sacreligious?
 
Jenny_Jackson said:
I don't know about the cock and balls :rolleyes: but I've thought about this after reading The Di Vinci Code . Why couldn't someone write a story about the SOG (son of God) getting it on with Mary M and a few of the others. Could even be a gay male story. Didn't he say something about becoming "fishers of men?" :eek: Who cares if it's sacreligious?
I bet your trolls would love it.
 
Mother/son incest between Jesus and the Virgin Mary? :devil: Just picking on the Christians in good humor, though it could be a guilty pleasure. :devil: A good way to piss the religious right, though I don't know if I want to go that far in a story, since I have nice, open-minded Christian friends. ;)

But it's still an idea out there that could be used.
 
You'll get death threats for writing anything against anyone here.

I've gotten them for writing gay fiction, for writing with cuckolding themes, with incest themes, with sacrilegious themes, etc. You could write it, but I get the feeling it would probably be rewarded with a rather violent outcry.

Being controversial is fun though!

(As an agnostic and former Christian, I am always surprised by the number of practicing individuals who find no moral conundrum in stroke fiction and in being open here with their beliefs).
 
Why have all of you assumed this has to be a historical story? Correct me if I am wrong, but the Christian myth includes a "Second Coming" sometime in the future, doesn't it.

What if that revist to our planet occurs tomorrow, and Jesus is subject to the perennial onslaught of heavily sexual advertising? Then ask yourself, "Who would Jesus do?"
 
I've just written and posted a story about 2 christian politicians (women) who were offended by an enormous billboard of a woman in a bikini (happened a couple of days ago, except for the 2nd woman and the rest of my story of course).
Of course they get down and dirty at the end.
 
Or it could be a necrophilia story: sex with zombie-jesus. Or a romantic haunting about a nun who has a sexual affair with the Holy Ghost.
 
snooper said:
Why have all of you assumed this has to be a historical story? Correct me if I am wrong, but the Christian myth includes a "Second Coming" sometime in the future, doesn't it.

What if that revist to our planet occurs tomorrow, and Jesus is subject to the perennial onslaught of heavily sexual advertising? Then ask yourself, "Who would Jesus do?"

Maybe he comes back through reincarnation. Maybe that's also a twist on the Resurrection of Christ- he comes back from the dead by rebirth, and "born-again" literally means exactly that. And not surprisingly, the new Messiah isn't virgin-born.....maybe his new mother is a single mom and finds herself falling in love with her extraordinary son. :devil: ;)
 
SEVERUSMAX said:
Maybe he comes back through reincarnation. Maybe that's also a twist on the Resurrection of Christ- he comes back from the dead by rebirth, and "born-again" literally means exactly that. And not surprisingly, the new Messiah isn't virgin-born.....maybe his new mother is a single mom and finds herself falling in love with her extraordinary son. :devil: ;)
... or even, when re-born Jesus finds that she is attracted to ...
 
Jesus was always seen in the company of 12 men and I seem to recall that he referred to John as his "beloved". I think a Jesus sex story should involve Jesus having sex with other guys.

But not Judas. I draw the line at Jesus and Judas having sex together.

Maybe Lazuras though. Jesus did bring Lazuras back from the dead. One might expect Lazuras would be grateful for that. So grateful that he might kiss Jesus's feet ...... and other parts of Jesus's anatomy.
 
Haha too funny, i dont know how much a story like this would Do it for me but it would Deff be fun to read... exp if the author had some knowledge of the bible...
 
This Thread Is Wrong

Look guys, I'm pretty liberal in my thoughts and writings but this thread makes me uncomfortable. There are people detonating bombs in the name of their religion.

I know, I know, you'll tell me not to look at this thread.

I just want you to know that there are some of us that find it offensive. I say this as politely as I can, no offense intended.
 
FallenAngelsSlut said:
Haha too funny, i dont know how much a story like this would Do it for me but it would Deff be fun to read... exp if the author had some knowledge of the bible...


Hmmm...practicing Christian since April 18, 69. Ordained 11 years ago. Fair to midland Bible "scholar" - I'd be willin' to take a shot at it. Just curious...why would sex with Jesus and say, Mary Magdalene not be any less capable of getting one's rocks off if it were written as any other story? Are our preconceptions too, um, preconceived?

Jubal

Incidentally, I've got God and the Trinity in "Eli's Coming" and while it hasn't made an "H" yet, it seems its primary failure is that of the subject matter - nun gets her cherry popped. It's here for any who want to check it out:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=247007

It did get good comments and absolutely no threats from "the Church."
 
Deadwood said:
It never ceases to amaze me, no matter how weird, how odd, how strange the fetish, there is a story on lit about it.

That wasn't a story at Lit. That was a published book.
 
AsylumSeeker said:
Look guys, I'm pretty liberal in my thoughts and writings but this thread makes me uncomfortable. There are people detonating bombs in the name of their religion.

I know, I know, you'll tell me not to look at this thread.

I just want you to know that there are some of us that find it offensive. I say this as politely as I can, no offense intended.
Your point being?
 
jjsharshaw said:
Hmmm...practicing Christian since April 18, 69. Ordained 11 years ago. Fair to midland Bible "scholar" - I'd be willin' to take a shot at it. Just curious...why would sex with Jesus and say, Mary Magdalene not be any less capable of getting one's rocks off if it were written as any other story? Are our preconceptions too, um, preconceived?


Not at all, i would just be laughing too much :)
 
FallenAngelsSlut said:
Not at all, i would just be laughing too much :)

Uh... :) so let me understand the source of your humor...

So a story about Dionysus or the hierros gamos or the Goddess would be equally funny, right?

And when I get my sacreligious, epic - automatically funny - story about JC and the "fine ass" Mary Magdalene (Chris Rock in Dogma), should I post it to humor and satire?

Just asking ;)

Jubal
 
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