Who Needs a Sex Contract?

[Guest]

 

[minsue]

I just want to be there for the breach of contract lawsuit.

 

[Guest]

sorry, i was gagging visciously when i read dr. phil ...
what did you say?

 

[brightlyiburn]

You know, it makes me wonder...what kind of man needs his wife to sign a contract to sleep with him? I mean, if my husband to be asked that of me, should I take that as a sign that he's already decided he'll become quickly stale and boring? I mean, why else would you need to ensure by way of contract that your wife would sleep with you?

 

[Evil Alpaca]

I just want to be there for the breach of contract lawsuit.

Or false advertising . . .

 

[Guest]

 

[impressive]

I just want to be there for the breach of contract lawsuit.

I wanna see her counter contract, too.

I agree to blow you twice a week when you:

1. Make as much money as I do
2. Eat me twice weekly
3. Cook dinner 3-4 times weekly
4. Change the same # of diapers as I do
5. Do the laundry -- and do it properly -- 50% of the time
6. Handle all lawn and automotive care
7. Give birth

 

[The_Fool]

Was there a clause for the number of times he was offering oral sex? Was there a Service Level Agreement for the number of orgasms she received as a result of this sex? Was there an out clause in case he drank too much and couldn't get it up?

 

[Guest]

 

[English Lady]

I like Dr Phil...his head is all shiny and he tends to make sense to me.
I've not seen it in ages though. I can only take so much of that kinda show *L*

A contract would really extract a whole ton of fun out of the process wouldn't it? I mean I'd love to have sex several times a week but i know it's just not going to always happen like that - thats life.

So what did Dr Phil have to say? Did he write up the contract for him?*LOL*

 

[BlackShanglan]

You know, it makes me wonder...what kind of man needs his wife to sign a contract to sleep with him? I mean, if my husband to be asked that of me, should I take that as a sign that he's already decided he'll become quickly stale and boring? I mean, why else would you need to ensure by way of contract that your wife would sleep with you?

That's what it sounds like to me. "I want you to owe me so that when I can't be arsed to make an effort, you have to."

Jettison that one in the garbage pod. What an idiot.

Sex is fun. People like fun. Most do not willingly turn down a good time. If your SO doesn't want sex (on a long-term basis), you're not doing it right.

Shanglan

 

[The_Fool]

Okay this idea as it stands, sucks...

But, I'll throw this out. I think that in some ways this could be in interesting way to design an interlude. Could be part of an interesting story....


Woman requests man to perform some wildly erotic and irrational acts in return for some form of recompense. The agenda is incredibly detailed and set up on a timetable. And of course there are punishments outlined in case the contract is not fulfilled that are not the preferred consequence but do offer up some form of gratification to both parties....

 

[Black Tulip]

As much as I hate to admit it, the mr and I caught about the first 15 minutes of Dr. Phil last night - please don't judge us too harshly.

Anyway there was this couple who were engaged and living together (of sorts, he was sleeping on a mattress in the basement). Anyway, the guy wants his bride to be to sign a contract confirming how many times a week they'll have sex, including 2 blow jobs a week and doubled on the week of his birthday.

How screwed up is that? Isn't part of the fun of sex the spontaneity and creativity of what you feel like at the moment or something you've wanted to try but haven't done before?

I'd hate to be thinking, "it's Saturday and I still owe my husband a blow job before the night is over." How romantic!

And how do you go on national TV and say you want this contract that guarantees two hummers a week? And then it's her turn to get this wonderful news!

Fuckin' A, how scewed up is that?

Well, we never saw the end of the show...it was more than I could take and besides, we don't need no stinkin contract.

Rant over. I feel much better now.

MSL

ROFLMAO

Now that's what I call fucking weird. Or is that weird fucking?

 

[CharleyH]

Oh, I thought that was contact, Yowza! Damn you!

 

[Guest]

I think the guy takes his dick too seriously.

So if she doesn't hold up her end then he can divorce her and she gets nothing? Hmmm... that sounds fair. Ok so let's save some time and money here.

Within a year the sex contract becomes like a jobe to her. "Wednesday night thats a sex night." She not doing it because she wants to but because she has to.

How long is that really gonna last before she tells him to piss off?

So let's just take care of that before it happens. She has two options. She can either force him to sign a sex contract that he can't live up[ to just to put him in his place. Or she can really put him in his place by throwing all his shit on the front lawn and finding a guy who isn't an asshole.

Just my two-bit uninformed assinine opinion, I may be fucked in the head.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Just my two-bit uninformed assinine opinion, I may be fucked in the head.

But is it thrice weekly?

 

[minsue]

But is it thrice weekly?

http://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lachtot.gif

 

[brightlyiburn]

http://addis-welt.de/smilie/smilie/lachen/lachtot.gif

Seconded.

 

[Guest]

But is it thrice weekly?

As long as it's cloudy doing it, it can be a dozen a day and I won't mind.

I'll skip the contract though, takes the fun right out of it.

 

[Lovepotion69]

I've heard of sex contracts, but mainly I've heard of them in the context of an already married couple having it. Usually when they've been married for ages and things aren't happening. Then they might draw up a "contract" to make themselves get into the habit again. Or something like that. I don't know. I only have vague memories of hearing of it! lol

Considering I'm the type who'd want to sign a prenup, I wouldn't mind putting in a sex clause. Once a month should be the minimum.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

No, Really!

I think it's a GREAT idea.

The ideal erotic solution when you are breeding a Lawyer to an Accountant!

 

[Liar]

Imp,

She was supposed to write down all of the reasons for NOT marrying the guy. I didn't hang around for that, but from what I did see of him, it should have been a damned long list

1. He wants a sex contract.
2. He wants a sex contract.
3. He wants a sex contract.
4. He wants a sex contract.
5. He wants a sex contract.
6. He wants a sex contract.
7. He wants a sex contract.
8. He wants a sex contract.
9. He wants a sex contract.
10. Other annoying stuff.

 

[LadyJeanne]

1. He wants a sex contract.
2. He wants a sex contract.
3. He wants a sex contract.
4. He wants a sex contract.
5. He wants a sex contract.
6. He wants a sex contract.
7. He wants a sex contract.
8. He wants a sex contract.
9. He wants a sex contract.
10. Other annoying stuff.

PMSL!!!!

Well said, Liar!

 

[Black Tulip]

Hi VB!

Where have you been? You were missed, did you know that?

 

[NoJo]

I wanna see her counter contract, too.

I agree to blow you twice a week when you:

1. Make as much money as I do
2. Eat me twice weekly
3. Cook dinner 3-4 times weekly
4. Change the same # of diapers as I do
5. Do the laundry -- and do it properly -- 50% of the time
6. Handle all lawn and automotive care
7. Give birth

(Ooh! Just found out how to do lists, after quoting you, imp!)

I have a sort of unspoken contract with my partner; it's more of an "orgasm tally". We have to maintain it roughly equal. I won't say what the current disparity in scores is...