"Who me?" asks David Lloyd George.

[Gary Chambers]

The post below begins with a quote from another post on the Sex & Religion thread. I sat staring at this beasty for a time, ready to click and post to that thread, but decided against it. Though I'm virtually played out on Sex & Religion, others continue to enjoy it, and this post may have hijacked that popular thread, so I decided to start this new one.

On yet another thread yesterday someone raised the issue of the cause for Gulf War 2, and again not wishing to hijack that thread I said I'd respond in a new thread, so this post is followed by another that explores that issue. Make of them both whatever you will.

I didn't add these to the "...Political On Your Ass" thread BTW, because I haven't been following that one and had no idea whether these would be even remotely relevant to that popular ongoing discussion.

Liberalism is truly a religion of the worst kind with an inherent, 'superiority complex' and narcissistic tendency.

Damn that felt good!

I note that you refer to liberals only with large 'L's, which means your disgust is directed not at left wingers, but at a particular political party which I think does not exist in your country. I assume from the context that this was a mistake, which is a pity because it would have made your post much more palatable, Liberals being terrible wastes of skin as a rule (apologies to David Lloyd George and Pierre Trudeau who were two notable exceptions).

Amicus, your peers in this forum cover all parts of the globe, from India to Lithuania and Paris to Pasadena. In France, for example, a liberal is someone who believes in exactly the kind of economics championed by America’s neoconservative merchant capitalists. In the nations of the former U.S.S.R. a conservative is a communist. In Northern Ireland a republican is an insurgent; in Canada a democract is a left wing socialist and on and on. With these differences in mind I offer the following definitions, in hope they may help to achieve more universal agreement on who is what.

CONSERVATIVE: One with a desire or power to conserve; one with an aversion to change, or who desires, holds or uses the power to obstruct or prevent change.

LIBERAL: One who desires, holds or uses the power to increase levels of freedom in socioeconomic and cultural activities.

LIBERTINE: A licentious rake; a debauchee; one who freely expresses opinions of a shocking or controversial nature; one who lives or behaves without restraint.

CAPITALIST: One who supports or adheres to the economic philosophy of Adam Smith.

MARXIST: One who supports or adheres to the economic philosophy of Karl Marx.

COMMUNIST: One who supports or engages in a socioeconomic system based on communal ownership of assets, possibly but not necessarily remaining within Marxist doctrine.

SOCIALIST: One who supports, enacts or conducts social engineering, regardless of his or her standpoint on the political spectrum.

LIBERTARIAN: One who desires, holds or uses the power to enact maximum levels of freedom in all pursuits, but especially in economic and political affairs.

NEOCONSERVATIVE: (American coloquialism) One who desires, supports or engages in a form of capitalism that replaces Adam Smith’s principles with more libertarian mercantile principles.

I could go on, offering defintions for such things as republicans, democrats, fascists, Tories, Trots and so forth, but even the list above may be flawed when applied to a cosmopolitan group like the members of Literotica.com. My point is simply that to rant about people of leftist ideology, dismissing them as ‘liberals’ in the assumption that everyone understands that to mean they are traitors or subversives, only introduces confusion into a group like this one. It fails to make any real point, because it doesn't even identify the object of the ranter’s anger or disgust. Even if there are some flaws in my definitions above, I think they make a lot more sense to a larger number of people than some of the more personal or regional definitions commonly applied in political tirades, and that is genuinely my only reason for posting them here.

 

[Gary Chambers]

Where KY Jelly comes from

Amicus, welcome.

This is a story about currencies more than the commodities they buy. There is a commodity in this story and it happens to be petroleum, but it could just as easily be iron, hardwood lumber, coal or Camembert cheese. The important thing to remember is that the commodity is wanted by almost everyone on earth, and is bought and sold at producer levels always using the same currency: the American dollar (henceforth called the ‘petrodollar’). National governments and corporations throughout the world must acquire petrodollars to buy their petroleum supplies, and if they are net sellers of petroleum they receive petrodollars in payment. This unique function of the petrodollar makes it the world’s strongest and most stable currency, encouraging many nations, corporations and individuals to also keep their savings in petrodollar accounts.

For the United States of America this currency standard has provided a huge economic advantage. With the world always anxious to buy massive amounts of petrodollars, the United States has been able to issue vast quantities of its national currency to meet that demand, which has in turn allowed successive American governments, both Democrat and Republican, to run a string of deficit budgets. The end result is the curious situation of the world’s wealthiest country also being the most heavily indebted. Although some world leaders and economists have expressed dissatisfaction and irritation with this status quo, for decades it appeared nothing could ever damage the petrodollar’s status or inflict serious harm on the American economy. Then came the euro.

The new currency of Europe got off to a bit of a shaky start, with people uncertain of its correct value and some European nations hedging on adopting it as their national tender. Meanwhile, in Baghdad the dictator stroked his moustache and watched with great interest. Angry over his defeat in Gulf War 1 and shackled by no-fly zones, seized personal assets and oil-for-food programs administered by the United Nations, but enforced primarily by the U.S.A. and Great Britain, Hussein at last saw a way to strike back. Though the euro was low in value and did not appear stable, he boldly took a step some had been longing to take for years. He announced that Iraq no longer wanted to be paid for its oil exports in petrodollars, but rather in euros, and he also wanted his seized cash accounts in New York immediately converted to euros.

Despite its status as one of the world’s largest oil producers, Iraq’s snubbing of the petrodollar was not in itself sufficient to score important pugilistic points against the American economy. A greater danger loomed, however, in the fact that some of those other nations which had long been critical of the petrodollar’s hegemony, were sufficiently buoyed by the dictator’s boldness that they too began announcing similar plans. North Korea, Russia, Iran and the sleeping giant China, were four of the nations that openly declared their intent to follow Hussein’s lead.

If a stampede from the petrodollar to the euro had occurred overnight, the economic impact on the U.S.A. and its allies would have been devastating, but the issue of the euro’s unstable value kept others from immediately falling in line with the Iraqi dictator’s master plan. The American administration, like it or loathe it, is not a band of fools. Realising that Hussein was poised to enjoy altogether too much success, plans were quickly drawn for another invasion of Iraq, and this time the dictator himself would be the prime target. There wasn’t time for the niceties of building an impressive international coalition of blue U.N. berets, because to the surprise of some economists the euro began climbing in value, increasing Sadam’s wealth and along with it the threat of a mass desertion of the petrodollar.

The American administration had to move quickly, so it turned to its allies to support a unilateral invasion. Britain was one of two European nations still procrastinating over adopting the euro, and with considerable petrodollar reserves plus the added costly irritation of policing those no-fly zones, it quickly agreed to join the invasion of Iraq. Some other countries with strong ideological or practical ties to the U.S.A. followed suit. It was not the most impressive of coalitions, but it was strong enough to get the job done without risking reprisals from Iraq’s own traditional allies.

In the above explanation I have been careful not to indulge in jibes against the Bush administration or its supporters. In fact, as a British citizen resident in Canada, I’m very grateful that Bush, Blair and their allies foiled Hussein’s plans. Had he been allowed to succeed the economic fallout would have hit me hard at a personal level, along with millions of others. The war is over now, however, and the long struggle to bring stability and lasting peace to Iraq is underway. I believe it’s time we recognised that no matter who had been in power when the above events unfolded, they would have been forced to find a way to oust Hussein. No leader, whether of left wing or right wing persuasion could have escaped the economic realities described above. The only difference between them might have been the way they chose to muster public support for the invasion; the actual words they used to win hearts and minds.

Now, having behaved myself by avoiding my own tendency to rail against my political or philosophical opponents, I’m going to conclude by stepping down from that objective position to briefly vent my frustration:

Since Gulf War 2 was waged to prop up the petrodollar, and England had the obvious alternative of joining the Euro, I will go absolutely spare if hear any more whining about how the U.S.A. single handedly saved Great Britain during W.W. 2. I never accepted that any debt existed, and even if it did exist I consider it has now been repaid, since with Britain’s help the petrodollar retains its inequitable hegemony. Furthermore I wish to express my agreement with Gauchecritic who points out that America does not own the world, England does and we want it back.

There Amicus, now I feel better too. Welcome to Literotica. We may not share politics but we doubtless share filthy minds which is much more important.

 

[shereads]

The euros are the WMD! You win a reward.



You're my hero again. Grow the beard and we're in business.

I didn't know that about the euro, but I did know we were bound and determined to invade Iraq even if North Korea had danced naked in the streets and waved photo enlargements of their freshly minted nuclear weapons. I just didn't know the whole story.

Thank you.

Must disagree on one point though: The U.S. owns the world as anyone who has seen one of our wall maps will know. We're in the middle, which means the rest of you are satellite nations.

 

[shereads]

A Canadian! I might have known.

Humming the refrain from the song, Blame Canada (full lyrics available in the Sorry/Political/Asses thread), I ponder how and when the USA will exact our revenge upon the Snow People across our northern border. First the blackout this summer, then Mad Cow Disease, and now military and economic secrets are being spilled. The Canucks must be stopped...

Blame Canada
Blame Canada
With all their hockey hubbabaloo
And that bitch Anne Murray too
Blame Canada
Shame on Canada ...

Before someone thinks of blaming uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus

 

[Gary Chambers]

Re: The euros are the WMD! You win a reward.

You're my hero again. Grow the beard and we're in business.

I didn't know that about the euro, but I did know we were bound and determined to invade Iraq even if North Korea had danced naked in the streets and waved photo enlargements of their freshly minted nuclear weapons. I just didn't know the whole story.

Thank you.

Must disagree on one point though: The U.S. owns the world as anyone who has seen one of our wall maps will know. We're in the middle, which means the rest of you are satellite nations.

Sher, you change heroes with lightening speed. However, I find brazen fickleness alluring because it's so much more honest than clandestine cheating. So you're welcome to drop in and out of my cyberlife at will, my dear, with or without facial hair. For the record, I usually wear a moustache but shaved it off when I decided to shave my head almost bald. I must get a more representative avatar and end all this speculation.

Re the euro, the problem is deciding how much is fact and how much theory. I tried not to include any unreasonable speculation about motives above, and only facts regarding the actions and the currencies themselves. Despite this I know some will say it's just a theory, but that doesn't bother me because I've yet to hear any explanation for the invasion that comes anywhere near this one in terms of credibility levels.

Satellite nations? I prefer to think of us more as Byzantines, casting aloof glances at our Roman masters, and endulging in reverse discrimination about their civility, while forgetting how much we like indoor plumbing.

 

[shereads]

Re: Re: The euros are the WMD! You win a reward.

Re the euro, the problem is deciding how much is fact and how much theory.

Don't be such a stickler. This is a porn site. If you can't present perfectly intelligent-sounding speculation as fact here, where can you? I believe you, and I'm relatively smart considering the school system that spawned me.

Satellite nations? I prefer to think of us more as Byzantines, casting aloof glances at our Roman masters, and endulging in reverse discrimination about their civility, while forgetting how much we like indoor plumbing.

And the aqueduct, don't forget that.

You have seen Life of Brian, haven't you G?

 

[Gary Chambers]

A Canadian! I might have known.

A more reluctant Canadian you'll never meet. Snow people is right. I was thinking earlier today which other parts of the world might compare with this in environmentally hospitable terms. Antarctica, Sibera, Greenland, Sweden, Finland, Norway, anywhere people try to beat the cold by drinking copious quantities of alcohol as antifreeze. As for invading us, forget it. No one in their right mind would want to live here, and we sell you the natural resources all processed and packaged cheaper than you could retrieve them yourselves. If you must know what it's like to be really cold, take a winter cruise to Alaska.

I'm glad we stayed out of Iraq, however, because our government is too cheap to buy our guys desert cammo gear. In the darker outfits your pilots mistake them for whirling-dervishes and drop bombs on them.

 

[Gary Chambers]

HOLDING UP CANADA

Not LOL, but smiling big time!

We're bigger and we're on top. If this was prison you'd be our bitch.

 

[shereads]

I'm glad we stayed out of Iraq, however, because our government is too cheap to buy our guys desert cammo gear. In the darker outfits your pilots mistake them for whirling-dervishes and drop bombs on them.

You think it's a mistake...We're takin' you out a few at a time, so we can take over your marmot farms.

 

[Gary Chambers]

You think it's a mistake...We're takin' you out a few at a time, so we can take over your marmot farms.

Is that what that thing is? I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw it. When you said most people think you're kinda cute, I didn't think you meant cute in the zoological sense. There are some marmots living on the hillside behind the house but they're not as cute as you, I must admit. You don't know how relieved I am. Until you changed the wording to go with the avatar I thought it was supposed to be something you found under your garter belt. I was ready to lock myself in Perdita's mucky slut. (What's a mucky slut anyway? Must be Americanese for something.)

Oh scratch that, I just found out it's a wombat. I thought it had funny ears for a marmot.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

The word “Liberal” has, for the past 20 years or so, been so turned into a pejorative by various reactionary media hounds that you might as well replace the term with “Godless Asshole” and leave it go at that.

The same thing happened with the word “Communist”. I was well into college before I realized that communism was a social theory, and not a synonym for “Motherfucking Inhuman Baby-killer”.

I’m very happy to see someone trying to make a effort to rescue the word "liberal' from the hands of the right wing hysterics, and restore it to its original meaning as one who believes in freedom and in positive change.

---dr.M.

 

[shereads]

Amen, Doctor M. In fact, my sister calls me a "Godless liberal," so I guess she doesn't think "asshole" does justice to my godlessness.

I take exception to your use of the word "hysterics" though. Us hysterics have taken a beating since Victorian times.

One rarely reads anything positive about hysterics, despite the fact that we're the ones the rest of you relied upon to raise the alarm about greenhouse gases, Ebola virus, killer bees, and the emergence of Canada as a threat to the security of some portions of northern Idaho.

Where is the gratitute?

 

[dr_mabeuse]

As for the euro: Economics is pretty much a mystery to me, but I was under the impression that Iraq’s oil had not been available on the world market since Gulf War I back in ’91 or ’92 (aside from a limited amount inder the ‘oil for food’ program), so where were these petrodollars coming from?

Also, Saddam’s American petrodollar funds were seized during GW I, so I don’t see how he could demand they be converted into anything (except goose eggs).

Obviously the US didn’t go into Iraq because of WMD, or because we suddenly cared about Saddam’s past crimes against his people, I assume that we’re there because the administration really thinks that an American presence in the gulf is in our strategic interest, and because of the usual American hubris about bringing Our Way Of Life to some ignorant and benighted second-worlders. I also think our leaders really have a kind of messianic idea that we can bully them into some sort of peace.

---dr.M.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I take exception to your use of the word "hysterics" though. Us hysterics have taken a beating since Victorian times.

Where is the gratitute?

I believe that it is Victorian female hysterics we have to thank for the invention and development of the modern sexual vibrator, which was originally a device designed for medical use on female patients.

Of course, everyone knew back then that women were incapable of orgasm, or of any sort of sexual pleasure at all (it had been medically proven, so you can all stop faking it now ) and yet the medical vibrator proved useful in treating various symptoms of female hysteria.

This is not conjecture: it's all the truth. (Someone find me a link to that "history of vibrators" page where all this is spelled out...)

---dr.M.

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Amen, Doctor M. In fact, my sister calls me a "Godless liberal," so I guess she doesn't think "asshole" does justice to my godlessness.

I take exception to your use of the word "hysterics" though. Us hysterics have taken a beating since Victorian times.

One rarely reads anything positive about hysterics, despite the fact that we're the ones the rest of you relied upon to raise the alarm about greenhouse gases, Ebola virus, killer bees, and the emergence of Canada as a threat to the security of some portions of northern Idaho.

Where is the gratitute?

Interesting little tidbit here. Hysterical was at one time a medical diagnosis reserved for women. It indicated that she (the poor thing) wasn't getting enough sex at home. The care plan included a little plastic device, forerunner of the vibrator with which she could ease her suffering.

Truth is stranger than fiction

Edited: Lol, I really should finish reading a thread before I respond! WTG Doc

-Colly

 

[shereads]

There are some marmots living on the hillside behind the house but they're not as cute as you, I must admit. You don't know how relieved I am. Until you changed the wording to go with the avatar I thought it was supposed to be something you found under your garter belt...Oh scratch that, I just found out it's a wombat.

Not just a Canadian, but a delusional Canadian. What in heaven's name are you talking about, G? How's the beard growth?

 

[reohoko]

Re: Re: Re: The euros are the WMD! You win a reward.

Don't be such a stickler. This is a porn site. If you can't present perfectly intelligent-sounding speculation as fact here, where can you? I believe you, and I'm relatively smart considering the school system that spawned me.

ok, I am sorry, I just have to tell you--- THAT WAS TOO FUNNY!!!!

HUGS HUGS HUGS

 

[Guest]

Re. hysteria which only means 'from the womb', the word was coined by the Greeks who labeled troubled women and blamed it on what they presumed was a "wandering womb". Freud made it serve patriarchalism by making it equal NOT-a-phallus.

For a feminist theory class project I once made a poster of a cartoon womb with legs and arms marching and holding a placard that read "Hysterics of the World, Unite!"

Note too the use of the word in literary criticism where the "unreliable narrator" pov is also called the "hysterical narrator".

happy in my womb's wanderings,

Perdita

 

[Gary Chambers]

Nowhere and nothing

Re. hysteria Freud made it serve patriarchalism by making it equal NOT-a-phallus.

Freud was right as usual. I'm sure if I awoke to find I no longer had a phallus I'd be quite hysterical. What are the implications for transsexuals? no phallus, no womb (wandering or stationary). Does this mean they are always hysterical or never hysterical? This may also explain why I get the urge to smash dinner plates whenever I stand in cold water over my abdomen.

Thank Brian the Patron Saint of Erotica has returned. I had nightmares about wombats last night.

On the Canada thing Sher, you really are barking up the wrong tree. It's currently minus 25 degrees here. There are no Canadians. They are figments of the imagination. No one really lives here. It's just a purgatory that wandering wombs with no sense of direction pass through on their way to California or Flordia. Canada is actually an old Spanish word meaning 'nowhere and nothing', and I assure you it lives up to it's name admirably. There's a bright side, however, the pipes are frozen and without water I can't shave.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and throw the furniture into the fireplace to get some heat happening.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I always thought of Canada as what keeps the US from evaporating.

---dr.M.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Re: Nowhere and nothing

Freud was right as usual. I'm sure if I awoke to find I no longer had a phallus I'd be quite hysterical. What are the implications for transsexuals? no phallus, no womb (wandering or stationary). Does this mean they are always hysterical or never hysterical? This may also explain why I get the urge to smash dinner plates whenever I stand in cold water over my abdomen.

Thank Brian the Patron Saint of Erotica has returned. I had nightmares about wombats last night.

On the Canada thing Sher, you really are barking up the wrong tree. It's currently minus 25 degrees here. There are no Canadians. They are figments of the imagination. No one really lives here. It's just a purgatory that wandering wombs with no sense of direction pass through on their way to California or Flordia. Canada is actually an old Spanish word meaning 'nowhere and nothing', and I assure you it lives up to it's name admirably. There's a bright side, however, the pipes are frozen and without water I can't shave.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go and throw the furniture into the fireplace to get some heat happening.

Hi, GC.
Although I long ago had the good sense to start living in California, I was raised in Wisconsin and spent two winters in Duluth, MN, so I have experienced cold weather. Winter wonderland, phooey. However, just last month, I spent a week visiting family in Toronto, and I saw no wandering wombs, and the people seemed quite there.

 

[Gary Chambers]

Re: Re: Nowhere and nothing

Hi, GC.
Although I long ago had the good sense to start living in California, I was raised in Wisconsin and spent two winters in Duluth, MN, so I have experienced cold weather. Winter wonderland, phooey. However, just last month, I spent a week visiting family in Toronto, and I saw no wandering wombs, and the people seemed quite there.

Ah, now Toronto is an interesting illusion. It doesn't exist either, at least not as Toronto. It's actually a small town called York with a few hundred real homes like the one your relatives probably live in. The rest is just plywood cutouts like the fake plywood warplanes the British dotted around the countryside during WW2 to fool German reconnaissance pilots. You may wonder why your relatives didn't tell you this. Well, it's a huge conspiracy, something like the story of the Stepford Wives. If everyone knew there was no Toronto, even wandering wombs wouldn't bother stopping here anymore, and there would be no one left to mine the coal, harvest the forests or water B.C.'s marijuana crops. So the people of York are told the entire city is real and they are given extra doses of flouride in their drinking water to discourage them from asking questions. The result is a huge metropolis of artifical architecture. Think about it. It would be impossible to live any further north than Duluth or Milwaukee unless you owned a N.A.S.A. space suit with a built in heater. Are you sure your relatives weren't holograms? And how do you know you didn't see any wandering wombs? Exactly what does a wandering womb look like?

 

[shereads]

I believe that it is Victorian female hysterics we have to thank for the invention and development of the modern sexual vibrator, which was originally a device designed for medical use on female patients...This is not conjecture: it's all the truth. (Someone find me a link to that "history of vibrators" page where all this is spelled out...)

---dr.M.

There's something about a man with an extensive knowledge of Victorian doctors, wicked-looking machinery and the female orgasm that makes me feel...what's the word I'm looking for...?

compliant.



Here is your link, Doctor. The Antique Vibrator Museum:

http://www.goodvibes.com/cgi-bin/sgdynamo.exe?CODIV=0102&UID=!+USID!&HTNAME=museum/index.html

This early Hamilton Beach model doesn't look very user friendly, does it?

 

[Boxlicker101]

There's something about a man with an extensive knowledge of Victorian doctors, wicked-looking machinery and the female orgasm that makes me feel...what's the word I'm looking for...?

compliant.



Here is your link, Doctor. The Antique Vibrator Museum:

http://www.goodvibes.com/cgi-bin/sgdynamo.exe?CODIV=0102&UID=!+USID!&HTNAME=museum/index.html

This early Hamilton Beach model doesn't look very user friendly, does it?

OMIGOD! That looks like a rotary sander. I don't see how a woman could use that on herself.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Re: Re: Re: Nowhere and nothing

Ah, now Toronto is an interesting illusion. It doesn't exist either, at least not as Toronto. It's actually a small town called York with a few hundred real homes like the one your relatives probably live in. The rest is just plywood cutouts like the fake plywood warplanes the British dotted around the countryside during WW2 to fool German reconnaissance pilots. You may wonder why your relatives didn't tell you this. Well, it's a huge conspiracy, something like the story of the Stepford Wives. If everyone knew there was no Toronto, even wandering wombs wouldn't bother stopping here anymore, and there would be no one left to mine the coal, harvest the forests or water B.C.'s marijuana crops. So the people of York are told the entire city is real and they are given extra doses of flouride in their drinking water to discourage them from asking questions. The result is a huge metropolis of artifical architecture. Think about it. It would be impossible to live any further north than Duluth or Milwaukee unless you owned a N.A.S.A. space suit with a built in heater. Are you sure your relatives weren't holograms? And how do you know you didn't see any wandering wombs? Exactly what does a wandering womb look like?

Actually, the relatives lived in Brantford.

Duluth is about 350 miles north of Milwaukee and another city, Green Bay, is also north of Milwaukee. For a relatively small city, Green Bay is famous for its football team and football fans and for their cheerleaders, the famous Wandering Wombs, who are famous for their tumbling stunts at halftime. If any of the cheerleaders had been in Toronto or environs, I would have recognized her because they always perform nude, even in January.

At one time, there were complaints of racism in NFL cheerleading teams but nobody ever complained about the Wandering Wombs. When they performed, all the women were blue, so nobody could tell what race they were.