Who can u trust...

[sweetsub4u]

...

.....

 

[CutieMouse]

Since I am new to this, I'm a lil overwhelmed already. I've never read "50 shades of gray", I wuz interested in this lifestyle long before now. I know a lil about it, but not enough. How do you know who to trust?

Ccommon sense; patience.

50 Shades is an erotic work of *fiction* - not necessarily a useful tool to determine trustworthy types.

 

[graceanne]

Since I am new to this, I'm a lil overwhelmed already. I've never read "50 shades of gray", I wuz interested in this lifestyle long before now. I know a lil about it, but not enough. How do you know who to trust?

Like CM said don't take any fiction too seriously. It's called fiction and not fact for a reason.

Don't trust anyone who demands instant trust - trustworthy people know that trust is to be earned. The best bet is to find someone who isn't sexually interested in someone of your gender (if you're a girl that means a homosexual man or a heterosexual woman) or is in a long term committed relationship. Read what they've written, talk to them to see if they are someone who you think knows what they're talking about, and then possibly ask them to mentor you.

I'd also suggest taking a peek at the library, and reading up on stuff so that no one can take advantage of you because of what you don't know. Knowledge is power.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

You might also want to read through this thread, "Trust," which has a lot of good input on a very similar question. It was, in fact, the next thread down from yours before I entered this post

 

[Stella_Omega]

Since I am new to this, I'm a lil overwhelmed already. I've never read "50 shades of gray", I wuz interested in this lifestyle long before now. I know a lil about it, but not enough. How do you know who to trust?

Y'all need to read more carefully.

My comment is;

You need to trust yourself. if you have jumped into a submissive relationship with some dude, and you're having fun-- trust that. if you feel that he's asking too much of you, going far past your fantasies into places you are not willing to go-- trust that, and get the fuck out.

My feeling is that it shouldn't BE a lifestyle right away, it should be kinky sex. At first. If you meet someone who is doing the same things you do, and with whom you feel like spending more time with, trust that. But don't go giving your power to someone before you know what your power is.

And go find one of my rants on topping/bottoming versus dom/sub. Just, yanno-- to see if it pushes any buttons for you.

 

[MasterandSir]

Finding trust in BDSM is like finding trust in a normal relationship but the leaps can be a bit more precarious. As for having not read 50 Shades, I wouldn't recommend it, though if you do reading it outloud with voices for each character helped my friends and I suffer through it.

 

[tocurpussy]

Trust is something that has to come within yourself. In order to have that trust it takes time and just as Cutie Mouse said, be patient and use your common sense.

 

[graceanne]

Y'all need to read more carefully.

That's how I read it. My concern was that she felt the lack of reading bdsm fiction was important enough to mention, like she could learn who to trust from that book or any other popular book or that she hasn't means she isn't a 'real' sub or something.

 

[Stella_Omega]

That's how I read it. My concern was that she felt the lack of reading bdsm fiction was important enough to mention, like she could learn who to trust from that book or any other popular book or that she hasn't means she isn't a 'real' sub or something.

I thought she wanted to reassure folks that she wasn't jumping on a bandwagon -- since we talk about the book that way in so many threads.

 

[graceanne]

I thought she wanted to reassure folks that she wasn't jumping on a bandwagon -- since we talk about the book that way in so many threads.

Ah. That's a possibility, too.

 

[Que]

You can trust me. And only me.

 

[NomadLady]

You have to trust yourself FIRST, listen to yourself and know to speak up when something doesn't feel RIGHT. If a man is pushing you to trust him, that should be a red flag because if trust doesn't come naturally, honestly then you probably should walk away.
Learning your way around this lifestyle will be best accomplished by arming yourself with the knowledge of what you want to gain from the experience.