Where to start..

[eros_jg]

I've a decent suspicion that I think I might be bi. I've done things with both guys and girls (I'm a guy, fyi) before, and have had fun with both, no doubt. And while I generally feel myself more attracted to women in the bigger picture of things, I do find myself turned on by certain guys and often fantasizing about hooking up with'em, but I can't see myself seriously dating a guy; not entirely sure why.

What I want to do is try and get more into the bi/gay 'scene', so to speak, to see just how much I like it and if I should try and act on my impluses. Thing is, I don't want close to me to know that I have these kind of urges and desires, simply because I'm not 100% comfortable with them yet. If I knew without a doubt I was bi, then I wouldn't have any trouble coming out and saying it.

I don't know where to start. Making a blatant move on another guy in public is something I don't think I'd be able to do, because of the outright novelty and difficulty of the whole situation. I want to get out there and test the waters some more, I just don't know how. Help! =P

 

[ezervet]

I don't know where to start. Making a blatant move on another guy in public is something I don't think I'd be able to do, because of the outright novelty and difficulty of the whole situation. I want to get out there and test the waters some more, I just don't know how. Help! =P

Well, i won't pretend that I know exactly what to do, because I'm still in the process of figuring this all out myself. A good place to start might be a local GLBT group. I know alot of them in addition to the generic support/whatever (which you might not be interested in, given your self-description) groups run GLBT social events and such. I've found it a comfortable place to start to slip into the gay/bi scene, because they all know what you're going through, there's no pressure, and they want to help. The flip-side though is that it sometimes feels too... i don't know, touchy feely for my mood. At the least you can probably meet people who could give you pointers about the local scene. You might want to just google your area, see what kind of a GLBT community is around you. You could always just go to a bar, hang out, and test the waters so to speak. Then there's always the whole "internet hook up" scene, i always found it a little creepy, but to each his own.

I wish I had better, more solid answers for you, and so i hope someone comments who does. good luck, no matter what, and keep us updated. I've found this place a pretty good resource. feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it.

 

[chun_gong]

This isn't advice or really help for that matter. It's just something that I have heard, researched a little, and find quite interesting.

(Yes, some of you will snicker at this coming from ME, of all people. Luna, you especially - DON'T LAUGH!!!)

Being gay, straight, or bi aren't black and white. Think of it as a continuum - one that can be traveled on back and forth even. It is highly unlikely that anyone is 100% at the gay extreme or 100% at the hetero exreme. In addition, from speaking to people on here a 50/50 balance is also not likely.

From everything I have learned, everybody has at least some curiosity about the other end...whether they act on it or not. Think of all of the "percentage combinations" - 99/1, 70/30, etc. I'm not going to attempt to 'diagnose' (haha) you.

There are some thread on here with great input on physical vs emotional aspects of curiosity and activity as well. As much as I hate to dredge up my 'dirty laundry', out of laziness I will direct you to my first thread on here. You will see that I felt very confused myself. PM me if you have any questions as to where I stand one month later.

Everyone had great input - some of which isn't relevant to you...but the whole concept might help. Good luck!