Where is

[cellis]

No, I have noticed the exodus as well and if I am in any part the reason for that I am deeply regretful. I'd like to think that my net effect on the forum has been positive and I've had many pms to support that idea. Of course, I'm sure there have been just as many private messages I'm not privy to saying the opposite, probably some by the same people.

Oh well, my intention as moderator was never to lead, but to serve, and if the forum is unhappy with my service than I am happy to be released. I will be starting a poll on this, but before I get into that there is something I want to say.

It has never failed to amaze me the cowardice and insecurity of those who choose to attack my maturity. In this very thread I was called out by name in a negative light several times and when I ask, politely, what the issue is, I cannot get a straight answer.

You quoted my name as "Exactly why I am rarely seen in these parts myself" then backed off from that statement with every request for clarification.

To say that I haven't made any contributions of value to this forum is something I see as unfair no matter how I look at it. I've shared much of my life in D/s and otherwise on this forum and have started as many topics on BDSM philosophies, play practices and relationship issues as I have on cathartic exhortations. Of course, it's a subjective questions and I don't presume to know what any of you may find valuable.

Yes it's true that I do enjoy the ocassional fluff thread as much as anyone else, but I start my own fluff threads and do not hijack the serious threads of others. Unlike others, who actually come into my fluff threads and pick fights with me. While I truly regret the loss of Sinnocent, any distasteful disagreements I had with her Master were entirely initiated by him.

In fact, while I have no fear of drawing the flame sword should I feel it begged for, I have always sought to take the higher ground and walked away from countless insults and lies. Never the least controversial character, upon becoming moderator I became the immediate target of ribbing from every angle and even some true blue paranoid delusions of persecution.

Oh yeah, and there was a little incident where I went up against an entire forum called the GB, had a thread removed without my knowledge and lost support from almost everyone who wished me the best as moderator. I did not cry or whine, complain or sulk. I got my thread rightfully restored after showing evidence that no one believed existed and the only time I ever mentioned it since then was when I took the fight onto the GB to defend the BDSM forum against things said about us on our own grounds.

Yet still, I am hounded for being a 23 year old Dominant, as if I should somehow feel guilty for this or be ashamed of my youth or the nature of my personality.

And while those more "mature" have left in pouty huffs over events inconsequential compared to what I have been through, I have held my ground.

And although I've felt the effects of the exodus of fine posters just like everyone else, I will continue to hold my ground.

Moderator or not, this is my home and I am here to stay.

So be nice.

If you are going to quote me then use then entire quote.

You cannot blame one person for this happening. It is not Marquis' fault. It is how he is. There were however alot of the poster who had been here for a long time that were passed for the Mod position. This did not sit well with many who had been here for a long time.

I see no need to rehash anything further. You state that you have no fear of calling for the sword and accuse me of cowardice when I refuse the discuss this in public further.

If you want to know what I think, then ask me. But I am not discussing this further in public. So, take the "high ground" and let it die. I never accused you of anything.

 

[Marquis]

Sorry babe, but it doesn't work that way.

You got the address to my inbox just like I got yours, if you wanted a private response you should've contacted me privately. My apologies for not lying down like a good boy, but keep in mind that you used my name first and that gives me the right to speak last, the way I keep score.

Since you seem to think my editing was unfair, let's bring it all out.

Yes, they did. IYM got sick of the fluff, and quite frankly Marquis.

Ok, here's where Graceanne takes one of her patented under the table passive aggressive shots at me while explaining why IYM left. I've been less tolerant of this in recent times, but I skipped this little gem because hey, internalized anger is it's own punishment.

Exactly why I am rarely seen in these parts myself.

Alright, fair enough.

Cause of the fluff or cause of Marquis?

A reasonable question to ask, it certainly was on my mind.

Frankly, the fluff never bothered me. I am all for fluff and having fun. I like having fun and have done my share of flirting and hi-jacking threads.

Hmmmmm, given exhibits 1 and 2, what you were trying to say earlier hardly seems ambiguous. And hey, I don't have to be mr. popular, but if you've got a problem with me, and you're going to advertise it, wouldn't it at least be fair to tell me what it is when I ask you?

It just seemed to me that there were way too many people here that were not of age. I felt the forums had just turned into a playground for underaged children. Don't get me wrong. I have nothing against younger people. In fact, Quint is someone that I admire for her talent, intelligence and her insite more than most other adults.

OK, this was a smart paragraph to have, if you want to shift attention away from pointing the finger at me and make it look like you have a problem with the young posters in general, without insulting Quint.

Of course there are so many regular young posters you could be talking about, there is me, Quint (who you already exonerated) and....

and....

.....

oh yeah, Xelebes. So you're saying you've got a problem with Xelebes?

I have been around longer than almost anyone still here. There is a reason why people have left. If you care, you have to ask yourself why is that happening. Even alot of the regular posting new people have come and gone in the last year.

What reason is that? What's the big secret?

You cannot blame one person for this happening. It is not Marquis' fault. It is how he is. There were however alot of the poster who had been here for a long time that were passed for the Mod position. This did not sit well with many who had been here for a long time.

This was a smart political move, like Bush when he talks about how much he respects minorities and homosexuals. However what I can't figure out is what the connection between "how I am" and lots of older posters (like you perhaps?) being passed up for the mod position. You seem to have gone in a totally different direction here. A misdirection that would make David Copperfield or Karl Rove proud.

Rules were broken without consequences, complaints fell on deaf ears and people left. It is as simple as that.

What rules?

What complaints?

What ears?

It doesn't seem very simple to me at all.

 

[Marquis]

You know what, fuck it, I'm done.

Say whatever you want Cellis, I'm unsubscribing from this thread myself and won't be back. Anyone with half a brain can see what's going on here, I don't need to get into any more of a spelling bee.

And for the record, I too wish AA would come back, the crotchety old bastard was pretty fucking witty and he knew his shit.

 

[jadefirefly]

I'm going to arrange for a saucer of milk to be delivered to this thread -- there's cattiness that -I- can't even match being exhibited here.

 

[Andante]

Sorry babe, but it doesn't work that way.

You got the address to my inbox just like I got yours, (....
....)

What rules?

What complaints?

What ears?

It doesn't seem very simple to me at all.

I have cut down the quote bit, and I haven't followed the discussion closely enough to have a firm opinion on every detail, but it seems to me that Marquis have some really good points. I totally agree with him, when he demands cellis to answer his last three questions in the above thread. It does not seem right to postulate things like that in public, and then simply announce that you won't justify your accusations.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Well damn... all i wanted to know was where AA was. *sigh*

 

[rosco rathbone]

....OSG, taintedB......

 

[shy slave]

....OSG, taintedB......

I miss taintedb and OSG. too

Although now and then OSG posts

 

[Fierix]

I, consumate lurker

Nemoalia!
Jupiter's Girl
Sunfox
EvesDream
OwnedSubGal
niteshade?
Writerdom

Good times, good times..

(For the record Lunadidn't leave in a tizzy, just took a wee break that stretched out.)

 

[chris9]

Maybe people leave not because of us youngsters whose opinion isn't as valuable, or any other poster(s), but because of life interfering, not being able to learn any more here, because all's been said, finding friends somewhere else so they moved there, finding extensive internet use not good for their health/life/well-being, or another million reasons. Seems normal enough, and while I miss people I got to know and feel an interest in, it's life, and some of the 'new' posters seem to be nice, too.

 

[shy slave]

Maybe people leave not because of us youngsters whose opinion isn't as valuable, or any other poster(s), but because of life interfering, not being able to learn any more here, because all's been said, finding friends somewhere else so they moved there, finding extensive internet use not good for their health/life/well-being, or another million reasons. Seems normal enough, and while I miss people I got to know and feel an interest in, it's life, and some of the 'new' posters seem to be nice, too.

I agree with this.

At present I have time to visit here regularly, but there was a time when that wasn't possible due to other areas of life.

I am sure that it will happen again.

If I visit less, its unlikely to be because of individuals but because of changes in my life situation

Other reasons that Chris suggests are also valid.

Some of us spend so long on the computer we are in danger of becoming attached to the keyboard, almost unable to free ourselves.

How narcissistic it would be as a community to presume that everyone leaves because of the community, and not for other unrelated reasons

 

[brioche]

Nemoalia!
Jupiter's Girl
Sunfox
EvesDream
OwnedSubGal
niteshade?
Writerdom

Good times, good times..

(For the record Lunadidn't leave in a tizzy, just took a wee break that stretched out.)

WriterDom left because of his computer, not anything else. I heard that from his own mouth. He thinks it got viruses from here. So he's avoiding here. I'll ask him if it's permanent if you like...would you?

 

[shy slave]

WriterDom left because of his computer, not anything else. I heard that from his own mouth. He thinks it got viruses from here. So he's avoiding here. I'll ask him if it's permanent if you like...would you?

I'd like to know, I hope it isn't permanent.

I liked his way of putting his thoughts across.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Catalina and I have been away for the weekend and have just come back to a civilized place where we have internet. So we go on Literotica and what do we see, another senseless attack on Marquis.

Not that Marquis needs any help from us, he is very capable of defending himself, but we wanted to make sure that everyone understands Marquis has always worked well as co-moderator with Catalina (and without when she is not around), we support him fully in the way he is acting as a moderator, and feel that Marquis has had a very positive influence on the board in many ways.

There have been many reasons why Marquis was invited to act as co-moderator, and Laurel agreed he was a good candidate. Why did he become ‘the chosen one’?...because it was necessary to choose someone objective and who was easy to work with as a team; Marquis is a young, vibrant, strong Dominant male, with ideas who often contradict our own but who is honest and straightforward, who is never afraid to admit when he is wrong but is also not afraid to defend his views.

Another very important reason which makes Marquis uniquely qualified for being co-moderator is that his views of being a Moderator are almost identical with our own. Being a Moderator is about serving the community, and taking responsibility. Becoming a moderator has nothing to do with the amount of time you are on the board, but with skill and talent.

We felt it was about time that we had a male Dominant co-moderator to bring balance on 2 fronts (D/s and gender), that a youthful co-mod could also provide balance, and we are very happy and proud to be able to call Marquis our colleague and co-moderator.

As has been said, people come and go for a variety of reasons....look back through the old threads and you will see names there who left before we even arrived, and so it goes. It also might be of interest to some that at various times I am aware of some older posters have been approached to moderate or co-moderate, and have declined the offer for their own reasons, the most popular one being lack of time to give to the position and responsibility.

Francisco & Catalina.
PS There is one thing about Marquis that Francisco is not happy about; he is way too good looking.

 

[crimsonlace]

Well damn... all i wanted to know was where AA was. *sigh*

trouble maker







Actually I'm glad you asked. I have missed him too.

 

[chris9]

Sorry, KC, for further highjacking your thread

I've been thinking that it's senseless to blame anyone's leaving on another poster. Not only because mostly there are other reasons. But, for example, and without wanting to offend either Marquis or InsideYourMind, the latter presumably left because of the former. Is this Marquis' fault? I'd say no. IYM came here to talk to like-minded people. He found he couldn't get along with some regular poster here, so he left again. How different is this to someone leaving, say, a bar, sports team, munch, social gathering because of not liking the people there? If I'm the one to leave because I don't like the folks there, I most certainly don't blame it on them. I don't blame it on myself either. There are people who I don't get along with. And if I find that there are many of that type somewhere, or someone of that type is friends with most/often there/important in some way, I go look for another place that offers whatever I've been wanting from this first place. It's better for my peace and everybody's peace.
So even if posters left because of Marquis, it's their bad. Places change, new people with new ideas come, if you don't like either those posters or those ideas, and don't want to live with it, there is always the freedom to leave.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

Cellis kills me. In a way, she reminds me of myself. One of the old battle-axes that keeps coming around here, bitching and crying about the "good old days" and hoping that one of the youngbloods will throw her a bone.

Get over yourself already.

Yeah, there are things that really bug me about this forum, and are the reason I mostly lurk nowadays. But you know what?? That's my fucking problem, not Marquis' or Cat's or frankly anyone else's.

Cookie girl irritates the hell out of me. I hate that puerile baby shit. But, again, my problem.

This forum owes no one anything. If you have issues with it, they are YOUR issues, on your head. Not on the mods, or even the idgits with whom you think you have issues.

I'm rather happy this thread showed up. I needed an eye opener.

~Anelize

 

[graceanne]

Well damn... all i wanted to know was where AA was. *sigh*

That'll teach you to ask questions! *shakes head*

 

[serijules]

Sorry, KC, for further highjacking your thread

I've been thinking that it's senseless to blame anyone's leaving on another poster. Not only because mostly there are other reasons. But, for example, and without wanting to offend either Marquis or InsideYourMind, the latter presumably left because of the former. Is this Marquis' fault? I'd say no. IYM came here to talk to like-minded people. He found he couldn't get along with some regular poster here, so he left again. How different is this to someone leaving, say, a bar, sports team, munch, social gathering because of not liking the people there? If I'm the one to leave because I don't like the folks there, I most certainly don't blame it on them. I don't blame it on myself either. There are people who I don't get along with. And if I find that there are many of that type somewhere, or someone of that type is friends with most/often there/important in some way, I go look for another place that offers whatever I've been wanting from this first place. It's better for my peace and everybody's peace.
So even if posters left because of Marquis, it's their bad. Places change, new people with new ideas come, if you don't like either those posters or those ideas, and don't want to live with it, there is always the freedom to leave.

I agree with this 100%

I left for awhile recently, and didn't intend to return. I'm not sure if anyone noticed because I didn't post about it or let my reasons be known because the issues were mine and mine alone. No sense potentially making others feel bad for my own issues. There were a handful of people that indirectly contributed to my deciding to leave in the sense that my reactions to them made my time spent here not good; but for me to blame them for my leaving would have been ridiculous. I put most of them on ignore, which is a wonderful feature. That wasn't their fault, you can't blame someone else if you don't like their personality. Eventually, it got too hard to really follow a lot of threads because I had too many people on ignore yet taking them off ignore was not an option for me because I tend to let people get to me too easily and have a hard time shaking that negativity. That's when I decided it was better to leave than to continue to be around people I couldn't avoid that I didn't enjoy being around.

We all have the power to do whatever it is we need to do to make our time spent here productive and enjoyable. For some people at certain times, that means actually leaving. In my absense, the negativity I was harboring faded, and I started to really miss the people that I have a lot of respect for and enjoy reading.

I came back because I realized that I was not getting the depths of answers from other forums that I got from this board and the people here. That old chiche' saying of "sometimes you don't know what ya got until it's gone" fits well. So I came back. Some of the other boards I tried out didn't have the *trys to think of a nice word for people I can't stand to be around and gives up, leaving this to speak for itself* but they also didn't have the wealth of knowledge and fun this place has either. I missed that. So returneth I have. *bows Yoda style*

Oddly enough, most of my ignore list seems to have left as well during my absence. They also seem to be some of the same people that everyone misses the most. Not sure what that says about me. (no need to answer that, btw, I'll figure it out on my own eventually I'm sure)

 

[graceanne]

Cookie girl irritates the hell out of me. I hate that puerile baby shit. But, again, my problem.

If it's your problem, then why do you keep bringing it up in public. I don't particularly like you either, and yet I manage to keep my opinion to myself. I'll tell you what I tell anyone else who has a problem with what I post. (A) It's not all about you so get your head out of your ass, and (B) that's what the ignore button is for. I'm going to make use of it for you, cause I'm sick of your juvenile jabs at me.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Dayum

Leave for a few days and all this rancor oozes to the top.

 

[Xelebes]

I miss him and some of the others too.

I miss the emoticon AA used sometimes, you know the one that moved its shades down.

Sunfox was back for a while I think.

Luna and Trinique, black nite rose, dusty wolf to mention just a few have not been here for ages.

The sweetdommes, ghosst and pure are also awol

Did I read somewhere that Sinnocent and IYM had also decided to disappear?

No, Pure is alive and well in the Author's Hangout. He still posts there frequently rattling amicus' chains.

 

[Netzach]

Leave for a few days and all this rancor oozes to the top.

Yeah look what you did.

Who the fuck said YOU were allowed out to have a life or something?

*clanks her irons*

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Yeah look what you did.

Who the fuck said YOU were allowed out to have a life or something?

*clanks her irons*

oh damn, i'm so sorry Mistress please forgive me !!!!

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/bsmeter.gif

 

[brioche]

oh damn, i'm so sorry Mistress please forgive me !!!!

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-8/363868/bsmeter.gif

Welcome back...