where is D fiant?

shingtao

Virgin
Joined
Dec 2, 2002
Posts
11
Who here knows anything about the writer D fiant. He is a really good writer, however I haven't heard from him for a long time. Does anyone knows if he is continuing with his sequels and other stories that he was going to write. If you are reading this D fiant, please answer.
 
D Fiant

Help! I'm being held prisoner in this woman's basement and forced to do unspeakable acts.

Gotta go now, here she comes with the ..... Oh, no! Not that again! When she whips cream, she really means it.

D Fiant
 
farewell

I've read your update. I am really sorry to see you go, but I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully the friend you left your work to will display talents that I have seen in your work. Maybe one day you will decide to continue writing, because I, and several other readers out there sure enjoyed reading your work. Thanks, and farewell.
 
Help!!

No, no. Don't leave me. I'm just lucky she left this computer on when she left the room. '

I've been held captive in this basement for ............ Oh no! Here she comes again. Gotta get back into the shackles.

D fiant
 
Halllllpppppp

Oh, please Shingtao. Don't leave me here. You gotta do something. I've been chained to this ....... oh, oh I think I hear her coming back. She threatened to sit on my fa ..... Ohmigod ....... please call 911 and send them to....... Arrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhhhh

Sincerely,
D fiant
 
This is the 911 dispatcher. Keep talking. We're tracing your location as you speak.
hs
:rolleyes:
 
MercyMia said:
i tawt d fiant wuz a boy<laughing>

I am a bo.. man. I'm using the computer of the mad woman who's holding me captive in this ................ OOOhhhh Noooo....... Not that again ......... Oh Please ..... let go of my ........ ARRrrggghhhhhh

D fiant
 
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Tonker

Heellllllllllllllppppppppp ........... The crazy woman who is holding me captive in this basement left her computer on again . .... Thank God I can communicate with the outside world. She says that when she comes back, she's going to put my tonker on the anvil and .......... Ohhhhhhh .... I can't bear to think about it. Please send help. I'm at .......... Oh, no, here she comes. I'd better get back onto the rack so she doesn't know I've been writing this ............. What's a tonker?

D fiant
 
to the rescue

Dont worry D fiant, I'm calling the cops for you. They put me on hold so I'm making a sandwich. I won't let you down, after I take a shower, a nap, and go to Disney World, I'll try calling again. Just hang on, I'm trying everything I can.
 
911

Dear Shingtao,

Oh, thank you, thank you. Please hurry. She relented on the tonker, but she says my noolies go on the anvil next. She's got a BIG hammer, too. If I could just get this ball thing out of my mouth, I could scream for help .......... Ohmigod, here she comes again. I'm afraid it's noolies on the anvil time. This plug thing in my bottom doesn't feel too bad, though.

D fiant

ps What are noolies?
 
I suppose you know what noolies are by now. Computer says there is no basement at the address you're calling from, so I'm not sending the marines after all. Over and out.

hs
:D
 
Noolies

Please, someone get me out of here!! Oh, boy, did I ever learn what noolies are! That anvil is COLD. At least she didn't use that BIG hammer. Help! Now she's got my noolies in a sort of harness, and every time I move it .......... OUCH!!!! Like that. She says I have to wear it all night.

She said she's going to come back to kick me goodnight, so I'd better get back in the shackles. One positive thing, though. She promised a bigger plug thingie for my bottom.

S.O.S. Help appreciated. I'm at ...... ARRRrrggghhhhhhhh

D fiant
 
im back

Sorry I took so long D fiant, I had a great time at disney world and the time just left me. I tried to call the police again but I forgot the number to 911. So please hold on a little bit longer while I search through all 5,000 or so pages of the phonebook.

Shingtao
 
Dear D fiant, I think it's spelled Nueleys, and if those are what my dictionary says they are, you must be experiencing severe pain and discomfort. Even though shingtao says there's no basement at that address, I've sent over some Tylenol by FEDEX. Hope that will help you for now. I can't find the number for 911 either.
Mia
 
911 SOS HALLLPPP

I guess I should know what noolies are. I got a goodnight kick in them a while ago. It's not the Tylenol kind of pain. If I ever get out of here, I'll be able to take my noolies home in a paper sack. Oh, oh, gotta go... here she comes to get me settled for the night. I hope I'll be able to sleep while being strung upside down by the tonker.

D fiant

ps.. I found out what a tonker is.

pps .... help
 
good luck

D fiant, I finally found out the number to 911. I better write it down so I don't forget it. The police said they will try to track the woman's computer and be there ASAP, but you will have to wait atleast a month because a new donut musuem just opened up in another State. Hang in there, I have faith in you.

Shingtao

ps: send your noolies my deepest sympathy
 
Help!

Dear Shing,

I appreciate your efforts to get me released from this basement. I just had a delightful breakfast of something I'd rather not talk about. Sure wish I had a napkin.

It's surprising how well I slept, considering that I was hung upside down by my tonker all night. At least the noolies got a rest.

I'm sure glad she leave this computer on when she goes out. Oh, oh ....... she's back. Maybe she'll have that new plug thingie for my bottom like she promised.

Better get back into the iron maiden so she won't suspect I've been in contact with the outside world.

SincerAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

Ps. Please have the rescue people bring Preparation H when they come to release me.

Pps. Helllllp!
 
Re: D Fiant

MathGirl said:
Help! I'm being held prisoner in this woman's basement and forced to do unspeakable acts.

Gotta go now, here she comes with the ..... Oh, no! Not that again! When she whips cream, she really means it.

D Fiant

Whipping cream? Poor cream! That must splash all over the place.
 
Helllllllpppppp!!!

I'm still being held captive in this dark basement.

It's not really as bad as I thought it was. I've made friends with several of the rats. I've come to think of the rack as just another piece of exercise equipment, and you can't beat an iron maiden for a good back scratching.

Although I'd prefer orange juice, a nice glass of warm urine isn't a bad way to start the day. Also, being hung up by the tonker has definitely made it longer.

Please don't stop your efforts to rescue me, though. I'm really going to need a good manicure after the needles under the fingernails and the thumbscrews.

Gotta go now, I've an appointment for a flogging in a few minutes. Sure don't want to be late for that. She says I'm going to be the star of the show.

Yours TrAAArrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh

Ps. Please don't forget the Preparation H

D fiant
 
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Don't anyone listen to D fiant!

He's just like the kids when you leave them at summer camp - first they whine and and don't want to stay, but if you come to get them, they have changed their mind and are enjoying playing with their new friends so much that they don't want to leave!

Just give D fiant a little more time, and I'm sure he'll WANT to stay. See? He's already made friends with the rats! And he sounds much more happy in his last post than in his first ones.

He'll be OK, you'll see.
 
dont worry

I didn't forget about you D fiant. The preperation H is on its way, I gave it to the rats that have access to the woman's basement. You just have to hold on a little bit longer. To make your stay a little bit better, you could try flattery to win her over. Tell her that you love the way her left eye moves slower then the right one, or you could tell her that her hunched back blocked you from ever noticing how nice her breasts are. You're a smooth fella, think of something.

Shingtao
 
Boomp

Dear D fiant,

If you swill around a rat in the glass of urine, it soaks in some of the flavor and will taste almost like sushi. Honest.

Um, I noticed the carrier rats were sucking away at that tube of Preparation H. Some of their little mouths are all puckered up now. I wonder why that is.

Wishing you the best,
MM
 
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