When you feel like giving it all up...

[Jade]

Don't you ever sometimes just want to quit your job, school, etc. whatever, give up your obligations and go off running naked into the mountains, build your own cabin, forage your own food, harvest berries, weave baskets and become a "mountain woman/man?"

Or is that just me?
Do you ever wonder how much more you can take?

Do you ever find yourself composing silly, meaningless and yet at the same time meaningful threads that you know you won't get any decent responses to but you do it anyway just in the mere hopes that someone would understand b/c you don't want to feel utterly alone and you just want someone to hold you and you had a bad day?
Any takers?



IF SO

HOW do you handle that feeling?
(Going to your family doesn't count: eg- holding kids, talking to spouse, etc.... cop out answers in my humble opinion... I want sustenance dammit!)

 

[Stormystarr]

I moan, cry, bitch, whine, and I scream at everyone around me until I feel better. And if that doesn't work, I hide from everyone for at least a week. I call off from work, take a long hot bubble bath, snuggle into bed with a good book, or I go to the nearest bar and drink until I wake up the next morning and don't remember a damn thing.
But seriously, I have been wondering if I should do the same thing. I won't even have to go far, I do live in plain and boring West Virginia. The mountain state. God I hate it here.

 

[teresafannin]

Hi Jade, I wish I had some good advice for you, but I feel like that most of the time lately. If it weren't that my family has been through more than our share of grief in the last year, I would be gone in a heartbeat. I can tell you that I am sorry you had a bad day & am sending lots of hugs to you from one Texas girl to another. I know you have been helping a friend who is having a bad time of it, but don't forget to take care of you, as well.

Maybe we should just say the hell with it & have a big ole pity party. There has been so much going on, it is easy to feel overwhelmed at times. I'll bring the chocolate chip cookies & big box of Kleenex

[Edited by teresafannin on 10-19-2000 at 08:42 PM]

 

[Adoratrice]

in a word....YES

How I handle it?....well....I get depressed...stay in the house longing for just one free day to drive to Hocking hills, doing nothing but breathing , walking or laying on my back with my eyes closed feeling the sun on my face & a gentle breeze......but since I couldn't do that ...I called my doctor & set up an appt for Monday to talk about antidepressants.any suggestions?

[Edited by Adoratrice on 10-19-2000 at 08:45 PM]

 

[lala]

everyone wants the answer, what can i do to make this awful feeling go away? i think the answer is the same, no matter the question, it suits every question i have (almost) and that is a very simple (not easy but simple concept)

life is about being happy- do what makes you happy, at all costs but hurting others.

ok, so in this case,

if you can do it and you really want to, make it happen.

i think you'd find you'd miss a few things if you really did do that, so you might think about just visiting,... without the fam, if possible, everyone needs some really personal time,...

aside from that, do what makes you happy where you are. take some time off the internet, no tv or radio, just you and your thoughts (maybe writing them down is good too)

your attitude is the key to your mood- if you make yourself happy- then bam! you're happy. i know it's odd,... but you know, i brought myself out of plenty a foul mood by finding something that meant something to me, something that i enjoyed, and indulged in it

hope it helps,
lala
ps, e-mail me if you'd like to read more of my babble, or if you feel like you need someone to babble too, writing here helps me so much,... i get to babble as much as i like!

 

[Jester]

Yeah, I definitely get that feeling every now and again. It's like there's just to much crap going on everywhere at once and if it doesn't back off, you're gonna pop a vessel. then, all you want is to ignore everything and curl up with your head in someone's lap and release...but there's no one and releasing isn't that simlple.

I have different ways of dealing with it. Sometimes I'll immerse myself in something that completely absorbs my attention/thoughts like reading, painting, or playing guitar.

Other times I'll get in my car and drive to somewhere that there's no one but me and the world. I'll just sit and feel the wind blow over me and look out on everything, just taking it in and letting everything else go.

My other mehtod is pretty much simple venting. Whether it's letting frustration wash over me and crying it out or going out and screaming it all out. Sometimes I'll just run until I'm completely exhausted.

Lastly, if I'm really kind of in a despair, I'll think about my situation in life and the people in it and realize that as bad as things get sometimes, I really have it pretty lucky. That doesn't cure the immediate problem, but it helps knowing that that is there when all the crap passes. And it does pass.

Hope some of this helps somehow. I know things really just suck shit sometimes. I know that it probably sounds fake at the moment, but there are always bad times and they'll go sooner or later. People help, too, even if they're not aware of it. It can't rain all the time.

Take care of yourself. You'll make it through.

 

[Cheyenne]

This trick has worked for me for years, all the way back to school and the pressure of trying to fit in studying, my job, etc. all at once.

When things get really overwhelming, I remind myself that no matter what I do, no matter what happens to me or around me, the sun will set and the sun will rise. The hours will pass at the same speed they always do, no faster or slower. I can't affect time, no matter how much I wish for more of it, or how much I wish for it to pass quickly at other points. All I can affect is my own reaction to time pressures and the other pressures of life, so that is what I try to concentrate on.

Not sure if any of the above makes sense to anyone but me. Just my 2 cents, but for me it works to calm me down.

 

[Whispersecret]

Yes, I've felt that way. I quit my job and am now staying home with my kids. My hair has stopped falling out, my gums aren't receding anymore, and I look forward to every single day.

That solution might not work for you. <winks>

Comfort food works as a short term fix for me. Try getting a professional massage, too.

I will recommend a book by Dennis Prager, called "Happiness Is A Serious Problem." In it he has written about how people sabotage their own happiness and gives some suggestions on how to promote it instead. It's worth taking a look at.

 

[CW]

I have periods like you describe,,, usually I can slough them off in a day or two,,, not always though, so when I feel like I am getting to the absolute end of my rope,,, I pack up a few novels along with the camping gear ( reguardless of the time of year) and head off into the mountians. I don't usually go far, just far enough that I feel like I am assured of not meeting anyone that I know. So, in a sense I am allowing nature to embrace me and provide the comfort that I so badly need.

I set up camp, locate some firewood, and settle in to have some time JUST for myself. Sooner or later, usually within a day or so of walking and doing the camp type things that are required, I find that I can honestly reflect on the situations that drove me to this spot in the first place,,, and because there are no external pressures, I find that I am able to see how to put some order back in my life. I decide what really matters to me, what I can control or influence, and what just has to be relegated to the shitter. And once I have reordered my life, I leave it that way,,, no second guessing,,, no wringing of the hands over whether it's the best thing,,, I just go with it.

Perhaps this won't work for you, or for anyone else that reads this,,, but some form of solitude, be it mountians or beach, seems to work for quite a lot of folks that I have known,,, where else would I have gotten the idea from ?

 

[Mortto56]

Well Jade, I read your post,and believe me,I have wanted to do that sooooooo bad that I can't say enough about it.

There is some days,that I could just walk off my $60,000 a year job,and say,"FUCK IT", because it seems like I'm working for everybody else.Nobody really appreciates what I do for a living.

But till I hit lottery,I'll just keep doing what I'm doing,just to get buy.

 

[BubbaRednek]

One of the few advantages of being a borderline "old fart" is that you can look back and remember previous trips to miseryville. ....and remember that you lived through them.

I go somewhere by myself and wallow in self pity for awhile. When I'm done, I think about how lucky I am where it really counts. I have a job that I love most of the time, a good spouse, and a couple of great kids. Then I get falling-down-drunk, and things look better in the morning.

If they don't, then I start thinking about what I can do to make 'em better. There's always something you can do to make an improvement. It might not happen as fast as you want, but DOING something, anything, feels a lot better than just drifting.

Ah well, I seem to be out of cliches for now.

 

[insideShiraz]

Beautiful Jade...

No...

Most only understand Tom Cruise, let alone Your wit, sadness or insight...

 

[Sammyjo]

YES!!! But you know that about me. I spent Tuesday and Wednesday in bed, I had barely enough energy to get my kid off to school so I could sleep the two days away. I went to work Thursday, and was so completely exhausted by noon, that I decided I'd stay until 2:30 and go home...so, for
2 1/2 hours, all I did was pretend to be busy...because I couldn't concentrate. And now, I have to go and do that all over again. And this weekend looks hectic, too. I will probably crash soon....but, until then, I have to keep struggling. (Anyone curious as to why I'm always sick?)

Wish I had advice to give you, but as you can see, when I get that way, I ignore it...so, I don't really know what you can do.

 

[Guest]

Day ain't over yet.

 

[Guest]

I forgot

 

[coaster]

Jade, if you're missing piece of mind your're missing a valuable piece. Examine your life carefully... set to change those things that need to be changed... plan...and no matter what obstacles you encounter hold to your plan. Change is not something to fear! It is a strengthening mechanism which leads to growth and development. Fear of change is a roadblock to successful living. Better to have tried to improve the quality of life than to wallow in the throes of despair and dissatisfaction. Life isn't about the material possessions that give us the illusion of security... it's about our search for inner peace. Keep us posted.

 

[April]

Yes, ma'am, I'm curious about why you're always sick. Is there any new news to report? New tests you've taken? Was that lab you first went to proven to be full of idiots?

 

[BrainyBeauty]

50¢ candy bars

Hi Jade!
No, I have never felt that way...I do plead guilty to wanting to get away from it all from time to time but not to forage for food and build my own cabin in the mountains. I'm more of a "roughing it means a hotel with no room service kind of gal" LOL

When I get mad I like to bitch and moan to whoever will listen (usually nobody). Then I turn to chocolate. That always works. I'm easy. And cheap too apparently.

And Sammyjo, I'm with April. I'm nosy..err curious too. Did you get a 2nd opinion? Better results? A diagnosis of any kind? Hope you have some peace of mind from all this.

 

[Naked Hunny]

Oh GOD yes Jade I feel like I just need to scoop snickerdoodle up and run away from here forever!!

 

[Sonora]

If I had any skills as a 'mountain woman', I'd be out of here in a heartbeat! Of course I'd have to become a vegin, because no way am I gonna kill my own food.

 

[FlamingoBlue]

I have had that feeling for a verrry

lonnng time. Fortunately, I am able to do something about it. I can stay in bed and read a book, if I want to, when I feel the need to drop out. Other times I just get on the telephone and talk to friends or go out and have lunch with a buddy. I have a goal and that is to quit the law practice within the next 2-3 years. That, truly, is what keeps me going. That, and my independence.

As for posting stuff, and not caring whether there is a response--- I look at my posts sorta like a journal. I have told my wife and my children about the BB. On any given day, if they choose to read what I have written, they can learn a little more about ole blue. I know that I have learned a lot about myself by posting here.

blue