When The Sandman Comes To Me

[daughter]

WE--

I read your latest piece. Here's a copy of my correspondence. You and I have a good repport so I'm sharing this here:

WE--

"Sandman" and the image is cliche. Give me your own words and a different image.

You are fond of refrains. Like what you're doing with them. Clearly you recognize their effectiveness and appeal.

If you would, start looking more closely at your vocabulary. What words do you rely heavy on? My observation: kiss, heart, soul, love, caress, ecstasy, passion, breast, lips, touch.

How do you express these words without using them?

WE, your enthusiasm and efforts are high. I applaud you.

Keep writing.

Peace,

daughter

 

[WickedEve]

Hi, and thanks daughter. I actually had a reason to use "sandman." I was joking with thesandmand about my next poem. He mentioned doing one about breasts. So that's why I went with it. Of course, no one else knows that! lol So, maybe not a good idea...

"How do you express these words without using them?"
Could you give me one example? I'd appreciate it.

WE

 

[WickedEve]

Forget the example, daughter. I think I have it now... lol
I reworked the poem... and it's no longer the same poem! lol


Wicked Eve

 

[daughter]

revision

WE--

I can be a revision nut. With time, we get better at deciding what, when, how to deal with edits.

Sometimes we need to let things sit a spell. I have some works that I can honestly say I'm proud of. They all required revision. They all took time and effort. Some I have sat on for months even years. Others, I was relentless and revised furiously for days till I got a draft I was happy with. I am an ardent advocate for revision and honing our craft.

I encourage you to enjoy the process. Getting to what you believe is a polished piece is gratifying.

I like this draft and I still see more. I think your enthusiasm is infectious. I know it's having a positive impact on me.

Keep writing.

Peace,

daughter

 

[WickedEve]

When I read "Sandman" again, I saw that it could be so much better. I like my draft too! I think I could go somewhere with this one... somewhere, hopefully, better... lol
But... sigh... I don't think I can do much to help out About My Panties. I need to just pull those panties down and toss them away!

 

[daughter]

Save the panties

WE--

Any writer worth their salt, keeps their work. Over time, on those inevitable times when you're head gets too big(you know we artists are some of the most ego-maniacs we know. ), pull out your earlier works and I guarantee you, you'll get a great humility dose.

Not calling "Panties" a bad poem, you can do that, but trust me, we all have works some old and some not too old, that remind us we have room to grow. Ever want a good laugh, ask me to show you some of my early works. Hell, I've actually posted some here. I wouldn't submit them for publication, but they seemed to have some appeal so up they went. Anyway, my point is, I can look at my beginnings and where I am, and I am proud of the progress. I am encouraged to keep learning.

Peace,

daughter

 

[daughter]

revisions

WE--

I forgot to add that I also save revisions especially when they are radically different from the preceeding draft. Writing on a pc gives us even greater flexibilty and opportunity to document our progress.

Saving drafts allows you to study and witness the evolution of a work. You can go back and pull strenghts from earlier drafts that you later decide is needed in a current one. You can cut and paste the best elements of drafts. You can evaluate if a work is going in the direction or form you want it to take.

When I get useful critiques, I save them. When I decide to revise a draft, I refer to the critiques to help guide my revisions. A critic often sees errors or problems I've missed. They don't always tell you how to fix something. Instead, they sometimes question something. In trying to answer their question, you find a better way to convey something in the work.

These practices have served me well.

Keep writing.

Peace,

daughter

 

[WickedEve]

Thanks for the advice. That's a good idea. I don't usually save the first draft of a poem. I always keep the final draft and toss the rest.

 

[Guest]

Ok...I'm bias perhaps......

But as they say, "Flattery will get you everywhere"......

Actually I really did like it. Yes, it wasn't perfect...but poems don't always have to be...do they? Really?

I thought it was fun, entertaining, sexy...sweet and yes, erotic.
So as far as I was concerned, it was an enjoyable poem worthy of merit and response.

Afterall.......what can I say?

I remain..........

 

[WickedEve]

Thank you Sandman. I had a feeling you'd like it.