When Penguins Fly

[modest mouse]

Southwest: Penguins should fly
Amusement value, lack of pockets cited

DALLAS, Texas (AP) -- Southwest Airlines is seeking the government's approval to bring back its popular SeaWorld penguin tours, in which two of the tuxedoed waddlers are put on jets to promote the amusement park as a summer destination.

The promotion was shut down after the September 11 terrorist attacks, and some security concerns must be addressed before the promotion can restart.

"One of the things that they mentioned was, `Would it be possible that we would be able to wand the animals?"' said Melanie Jones, creative manager for the Dallas-based carrier.

SeaWorld and Southwest Airlines have worked since the 1980s to lure business to parks in San Antonio, Texas; San Diego, California; and Orlando, Florida. Southwest flew SeaWorld animals -- most often their penguins, but sometimes parrots -- to cities that have nonstop flights to the parks.

"If we can find a way to make this happen, far be it from us to not say yes," said Ed Martelle, spokesman for the Transportation Security Administration. "The trick is being able to do this and not compromise security."

Southwest has been informed that whatever animals would be brought would be subject to wanding at the security checkpoint.

SeaWorld officials say that's OK since the penguins travel well and are used to being handled.

"We feel like they really brighten people's days," said Fran Stephenson, SeaWorld's spokeswoman in San Antonio. "Besides, they don't have any pockets to empty."

Is it just me or would Penguins be freakin' great on flights? Sitting there bored out of your mind, trying to read or sleep, and instead you can watch and interact with a Penguin.

Wand the little dudes and get them on planes.

 

[sunstruck]

Penguins are my favorite birds.

Do you think they could serve drinks? Ya know, like in Mary Poppins? I'd pay extra for that.

 

[marksgirl]

I don't know but I think brokenbrainwave would be fun and entertaining on a flight.

 

[The Heretic]

 

[Spinaroonie]

I was thinking more of the line of

Penguins? YES PLEASE! A++++++ Would fly again! Penguin shipped in timely matter and did not use box cutter to take over plane.

 

[perks]

I don't want to sit next to a shitting penguin.

 

[Zmey]

I don't want to sit next to a shitting penguin.

Now that's a unusual request ... I never seen one actually go...

 

[District Line]

What, pengiuns instead of peanuts?

 

[ithaqua]

Linux

 

[Hamletmaschine]

Bad idea. You'd have to listen to all the Python fans on board butchering the "Penguin on the Telly" sketch for several hours. I can live without that.

 

[perks]

or adam sandler fans "I see what's goin' on heah, penguin!"

 

[sunstruck]

You people are no fun! Fine. Penguin class and no penguin class. I want my Stoli served by flightless waterfoul damn it!

 

[Guest]

Damn!

I missed the Zmey's porn sound.

 

[hogjack]

Confession

I'm one of the very few people who can claim to be part of the Penguin Mile High Club.

I don't want to hear any snickers nor wretching. It was just something that happened, one of those nights on a red-eye flight to Seattle. I'll spare you the details [you pervs can ask me privately].

And, NO, getting caught did NOT forever scar me.
But, Yes, I was startled when the door opened to that damned small lavoratory!

 

[Olivianna]

A Sea World-supporting contingent is lobbying to make it mandatory for all commercial flights to carry one penguin on board at all times.

 

[hogjack]

IN these economic conditions

A Sea World-supporting contingent is lobbying to make it mandatory for all commercial flights to carry one penguin on board at all times.

If airlines could get away with it the penguins would be the flight crew and staff.

Costs would be reduced considerably.

 

[peachykeen]

When I fly to NY later this month, I'm flying Virgin. What sort of inflight special guest can I expect?