When Love and Hate Reunite: Closed Thread

[The_gladiator]

Ryan almost fell over, so great was the pleasure, especially when he got to enjoy her orgasm on top of everything else. She was still unbelievable after all this time.

He pulled her gently to her feet, bending to kiss her deeply as he held her to his chest. He never wanted that moment to end even as he pressed her to him. His hands wound deep in her hair as they kissed.

He gently walked her back until they could fall on the bed, He flopping on his back pulling her down to lay on his chest. “I know we’re late, but I need a minute just to hold you,” he whispered feeling her fingertips drawing circles on his chest. It was something he always had loved, the casual way she needed to touch him as much as he needed her touch.

"I think you're even better at that than I remember, I didn't even know that was possible." he said softly as he cuddled her.

 

[SandS13]

Chloe yielded to his touch, his pull as Ryan drew her up and to him. His mouth was on hers and Chloe's arms went to his neck. She melted against his body, into his kiss.

They were falling but it didn't bother Chloe. Ryan had her, his arms were holding her to his body.

"There is no late and if we never leave this room I won't care." She wrapped her body over his. Her face nestled into his neck, her breasts crushed against him. She could hear his heartbeat as her fingers drew designs on his chest.

"I never thought I would feel this good again." She didn't mean the orgasms or getting him off. Chloe was referring solely to being in his arms, their naked bodies against each other. She lifted her head to look at him. "I cannot even explain how good this feels. It is like I was missing pieces of myself and now, I am whole."

She laughed softly. "Corny and silly. Just humour me." She laid back down on his chest.

I love you Ryan. I always have and no matter what I always will. The words never left her mouth. She held them tightly to her as her fingers resumed moving along his chest. Nothing had changed in her heart, her feelings even though so much time had past. He didn't need that though. Ryan had been through so much already that her dumping her emotional baggage on him didn't see fair.

 

[The_gladiator]

“Not really corny or silly,” Ryan said softly. His hand covered hers stroking her skin. “I was thinking something similar. You have a way of making me feel so wanted, so cared for.” He sighed softly.

“I just can’t believe I ever lost you over something I didn’t do. For years I wished I had,” he said softly. “Then what you did, leaving me would have felt justified.” He cuddled her closer as he spoke. “I am having a hard time knowing this is real. I keep expecting you to leave, or slap me or something.”

 

[SandS13]

Ryan's words tore at Chloe's heart. She tried to hold it in but the tears began to drop from her eyes as she laid against him.

"I am not going to leave." Her voice was just barely a whisper. She hoped the quiet volume would mean he would not notice her tears right away and she might be able to compose herself a little. "I never want to be without you again Ryan."

Ten years. Ten years of going through life without him. Ten years of feeling like she would never feel love or caring again. She had resigned herself to a life alone with a lover here and there that would scratch an itch but would never fulfill her.

What she did. How she had left him. Chloe's attempt to calm the tears failed and she hugged him tighter, pressed a little closer. "I am waiting for you to say this is all a joke and that you are going back to your fiance." She knew she would deserve it too, to be used and discarded. For what she had done to him she wouldn't blame him if he did. It wasn't what she wanted though. She wanted Ryan more than anything in the world.

 

[The_gladiator]

He noticed her tears; he had known her too long. He let his hand leave hers to stroke them away with his thumb. His other hand was in her hair. “I broke that connection,” he said softly. “Not that she didn’t make that decision for me with her behavior. Seeing you, touching you, just reminded me of how much I was missing and have been living without. After just this time with you I don’t know how I lived without the power of our connection.”

He sighed, “I never found quite the passionate connection we share with anyone else.” He shrugged, “Not that I looked. I told myself I didn’t need that anymore. How foolish of me.”

 

[SandS13]

Chloe nodded a little, the motion pulling her hair in his hand. It made her sigh. "I told myself I didn't deserve to be cared for and that connection, it just wasn't possible. I didn't need it either. I told myself I could have a life without you and it was a life but it wasn't the same. Nothing is the same without you. And I knew that being alone was punishment. I deserved it. I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me."

She lifted her head and kissed him. "I hurt the most wonderful man who did nothing but love me." Her eyes glistened with tears. "I don't want to lose you again Ryan."

 

[The_gladiator]

“I dedicated my life to taking care of you Chloe girl,” he whispered sounding heartbroken. “Why did you wait 10 years. Why didn’t you seek out the truth sooner,” he sounded pained.

His fingers tightened helplessly in her hair. Five years ago, he had sworn he was done with her. How quickly that had changed. It had only taken 1 moment to dissolve that 5-year armor plate.

He continued to stroke her face, his words were harsher than he wanted to be, but he needed to know. His touch told that despite his hurt he had her and wasn’t letting go.

 

[SandS13]

"Because I was hurt and heart broken. Because I was stuck with boyfriends who ensured I knew I wasn't good enough for someone like you. Because a life alone was better than seeing hate in your eyes."

Chloe closed her eyes as his hands tightened in her hair. She wanted the pain. She needed to know his emotions.

"Because you hated me. Because you had a life and were happy. I saw how well you were doing and you said it, I am chaos. I thought if I drudged things up. If I came to you right away when I learned...even if I grovelled...what was the best I could hope for? You might not hate me but I didn't think I deserved your forgiveness and I feared...I feared you would look at me and I would see that you didn't care."

She let out a soft sob. "Because I hated me. I hated what I had done. I hated how I hurt you and I was punishing myself by staying out of your happy life."

 

[The_gladiator]

He listened to her words. He didn’t stop her, he didn’t argue. Finally, when she had stopped talking, he asked softly, “What changed, what made you approach me tonight. What made tonight feel different to make you so change your views on things?”

Ryan wanted to tell her he could never hate her, but for a time he had. He knew that he cared for her though. Even now he cared enough for her to torpedo his relationship. “I was so happy,” he muttered sarcastically. “We saw how that turned out.”

 

[SandS13]

Chloe felt a stab of guilt. "You seemed happy. You seemed so content with your life and I didn't want to fuck that up. For a long time I thought I could just live with the guilt, live with my actions and how I hurt you. But it ate at me Ryan. It gnawed at me that you carried this hate and this anger towards me."

She put her forehead to his chest. "A selfish part of me needed to apologize, needed to lift that weight. I thought maybe if I did I could...I don't know feel like I wasn't such a terrible person. The other part of me just needed you to know. Maybe it was all selfish and self serving. I don't know."

She placed a soft kiss on his collarbone. "Tonight, I didn't even think you would be here. I hoped. I thought...I thought if I got you in a crowd you would at least acknowledge my presence long enough that I could apologize, that I could tell you I had learned the truth and I was sorry. I tried you know, over the last little while...you have no idea how many emails and letters I started to write but they felt impersonal. I considered meeting you for lunch but frankly, I didn't think you would accept. Tonight felt like I might get a chance. None of this makes me sound good."

Her head lifted and Chloe looked into his eyes. "Honestly, I was too much of a coward. Too terrified you would look at me and I would see the hate there." Her eyes were a little glassy but she was holding her emotions together. She didn't want him to think it was only the emotions talking. He needed to know she truly meant it and wasn't looking to play up the tears or guilt.

"You have every right to hate me. I just didn't want to see it. I told myself I needed to do this. I needed to set the record straight. You deserved better than what I did."

She readied herself for his anger, for him to pull away or push her away. It wasn't what she wanted but she knew it wasn't out of the realm of possibility.

A tentative hand reached out, fingertips tracing his jawline. Chloe closed her eyes, her pain and the pain she knew she caused him was clear on her face. She memorized the feel of his body against hers.

Just in case this was the end.

 

[The_gladiator]

“You’re right. Without you there I would have resisted the urge to speak to you. When I heard your voice, felt your hand on my arm, during that song, I couldn’t say no.” he looked into her eyes until she closed them, unconsciously pressing his cheek into her touch. “Even then I tried to keep you at arm’s length with my ass hole big mouth.” He chuckled at himself.

“But somehow just feeling you just being there with you, even protecting you from Jonathan, it felt right. It’s always felt so right with you. You consume me, but in the best way. If we do this Chloe girl, this has to be forever.” He touched her cheek making sure she couldn’t look away. “I will not go through the pain of losing you again,” he said softly, “You understand that, right?” he asked, fingertips stroking along her cheek, marveling in the softness of her skin. He’d seen the lengths she went to keep her skin soft; it was no wonder that it all paid off, it still made him want to never stop touching her. His eyes met hers, held them wouldn’t let her look away. Ryan wasn’t exactly proposing, but he wasn’t exactly not proposing either, it would in part be up to her how she interpreted his words.

 

[SandS13]

Ryan didn't let her look away, didn't let her retreat or hide. It wasn't in Chloe's nature to back down. She went full tilt into everything yet in this she felt fragile and vulnerable. His eyes locked to hers and there was no denying the emotions she saw there.

The feel of his fingertips on her cheeks made her sigh and lean into them just a little.

He wasn't angry. He didn't push her away and storm from the room. He didn't kiss her and pretend like it was all fine. What Ryan was offering, what he was stating was more than she could have imagined.

"I understand...Ryan I can't lose you again. I can't..I understand because I feel the same way." Chloe shifted, propped herself up to look down at his face. "My life is missing something and I know that is you. Forever. Us, together."

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan smiled to hear her echo his own thoughts. “We can discuss what that means for us in a long-term sense as we continue to reconnect. I have no ring for you, at least not here.” Here he blushed, “Just to know that you don’t want to be without me again is enough, for now.” He leaned up and kissed her lips softly.

He pulled back from the kiss and smiled softly. “Now, since we don’t know what the rest of this night will bring, if anyone is going to get near that pretty pussy of yours tonight that isn’t me, I would like to have been their first,” he said with a smile. “So, I need you to get me hard again using your wicked talents, so I can be inside you. It’s been far too long.” He said his hand cupping her cheek, “Will you let me cum inside you again after all this time, Chloe Girl?” he asked. He suspected he knew what his words, so seductive, almost demanding would do to her, but he waited to see the heat in her eyes, to see that she approved of his plan for what would happen next.

 

[SandS13]

Chloe hadn't considered he meant marriage. She thought they would live together, just be together. Ryan teased about a ring and it made her choke up. She had meant it, that she didn't want to be without him ever again.

The kiss was soft and it pulled a soft mewl from her lips. "I want you to be first." Chloe smiled at his words. "Darling, I want nothing more than to feel you cum inside of me. It should never be a doubt that I want you on me, in me...but I will help convince you."

Her eyes shone, her lips pulled into a little mischievous smile. She leaned in as if to kiss him but instead leaned further so that her chest came up and breasts rubbed his face. "I do love to play and get you hard..."

Her tone was playful and she shifted, drawing her breasts down over her face until they rested on his chest. She nudged his chin upwards so she could kiss along his neck and then began to move lower.

"Hmm...I wonder...should I use my hands? My mouth? A little of both? Close your eyes babe. Let me enjoy your body.."

Chloe kept kissing down his chest. Her hand moved down, brushing his hip before teasing towards his thigh. Her tongue brushed over his nipple at the same time that her fingertips dipped down to brush along his balls. They moved underneath and gently stroked along the soft skin.

She moaned against Ryan's chest as she gently cupped his balls. Her palm was warm and held him gently.

Chloe's body moved so she was positioned, straddling his thigh.

 

[The_gladiator]

He was always so impressed with her willingness. The way that she always showed him without hesitation how much she wanted him.

He made a low mmm as she buried his face in her breasts and then obediently lifted his chin so she could kiss lower. Her words made him shiver with anticipation as he closed his eyes wanting to experience exactly what ever she wanted to give him.

As her fingers began to wander, he gasped, his deflated cock giving a twitch. “Fuck,” he whispered. She was so good at this, making him anticipate what she would do next. Once upon a time she had liked playing with him in her mouth when he was small, when she could hold all of his length without having to strain. She equally liked to feel him swell in her palm feel him grow down the length of her fist as she let her fingertips caress over him. Now the question was which would she do now, what did she have planned for him?


No one in his past had ever moved him as much as she could. She had his number, the combination that opened up his locks so to speak.

 

[SandS13]

She was breathing deeply, lips parted as she watched his reactions to her hand. Chloe stroked him the way he liked, slow and long with a pause at the top to rub a small circle below the head of his cock. It was muscle memory, the desire to hear the noises that he made for her, when she touched him.

There was no overthinking. No, she knew what Ryan liked.

Her other hand continued to roll his balls in her hand, letting him know that she had him and would take care of him.

Chloe kept this up for a while, his cock growing slowly harder for her. She watched his face, a loving smile on her lips. She had missed this, just the two of them. Ryan.

Her eyes closed for a moment, lashes fluttering closed as she listened to the noises he made, his breathing and her nose took in his smell. Chloe licked her lips and leaned down.

Her pussy, slick and soft, rubbed against his thigh as her body bent forward and her lips slid over the head of his cock. She held him there. Her hand continued the slow strokes. It almost seemed like she had no intention of doing more for a time. In truth, she was just enjoying the position and the feel of the warm skin between her lips.

Her hand gently squeezed his balls before they slipped down and caressed the sensitive skin just behind them. Only then did her mouth take more of his cock in.

 

[The_gladiator]

She stroked him, and after 10 years she knew what he liked. She just flat out did it for him. She always had, ever since they were still young adults. They were no longer young, but he still wanted her just as much. He was slow to get hard, yet get hard he did. He had always had a rapid recovery time. Something she had always enjoyed. “Fuck, Chloe,” he whispered as he got lost in the sensations.

Even as she slid more of his now erect cock into her mouth, he remembered that he was supposed to be inside her, but he couldn’t stop her, not yet, this felt too good. “Don’t stop yet, but when I go, I go inside you remember Chloe Girl?” he said voice just a bit strangled as he held in a moan as she did something with her tongue.

One hand slid deep into her hair, his other clenching into a fist a tactile expression of his pleasure.

 

[SandS13]

There was something about the way Ryan's hands folded into her hair that was unlike any other sensation in the world. Yes, he gripped her hair tightly but it wasn't in aggression or domination. It was need, desire, intimacy. Ryan was telling her everything about this moment and their connection with that motion.

It was common for men to grip a woman's hair. Most did it in need for something to hang onto, a way to control the tempo and depth. Sometimes to speed it up, sometimes to go deeper. Sometimes to slow things down. There were many reasons but none of those were what Ryan was telling her. No, he needed to feel her. He needed to project his need for her in more than just moans or the lifting of his hips. It was something she could not explain to people or describe in her writing. It was a silent language that only they seemed to speak.

Chloe couldn't help but smile at his words. He was struggling, not wanting her to stop doing the things he loved so much and yet, he wanted to be inside of her and once more make her his. It pleased her that she still knew him so well. She didn't care that his fiance had been sleeping with him, making love to him or pleasing him. It didn't matter.

What mattered was that after all this time they still knew each other's bodies better than they knew their own.

Her lips slid up and off of his now hard cock. Chloe looked at him as her tongue ran around the sensitive head. She remembered what he wanted but she liked bringing him to the brink, feeling him so close to giving in.

Ryan's hand was still in her hair and Chloe swallowed his cock deep once more. Her head moved up and down in a slow, purposeful manner. Her tongue swirled around his shaft, her hand still manipulating his balls. Her hips rolled forward and then back, slow and controlled. Chloe came on his thigh, a trail of slickness growing on his skin. She moaned around him, his cock vibrating a little.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan trembled as she slid her tongue around his tip and then slid him in until her nose met his body and he was in her throat. He held her there gently, as he felt her orgasm, felt how turned on this made her.

“Cum for me little one,” he urged as he held her down on his cock for a long moment before letting her go. His hands were lost in her hair lost in the feel of her, in each and every sensation. He couldn’t take much more of this. However, he did not trust her to stop. There were times that once his cock was in her mouth, she would not let it go until he came for her, coated her skilled tongue, rewarded her talents. Not this time though. He pulled on her hair, forcing her to look up at him. “Ride me.” Ryan made it an order this time, made it clear he would not allow her to distract him from his goal. He was sure she had just been teasing him but this was a part of it, part of the game. It would turn her on to be ordered to do something she would have done eventually anyway. It would turn her on to know how much he wanted her in that moment.

“Do it, now,” he urged tugging her upward, his cock standing up between them.

 

[SandS13]

Every muscle in Ryan's body was trembling, holding back just a little. His abdomen against her nose. His thigh against her slick folds. His arm as he held her head so perfectly still and against him.

His words made her cum again. She was his entirely and he knew it. There was a power there and they both knew it. Just as they knew she had a power over him. To their last breath they would always have something that no other could touch.

Her mouth moved, gently contracting around his cock as she let her tongue move along the underside. It was a small movement, the brush of muscle against muscle but it was the sort of thing that would drive him closer to the edge.

Chloe shivered enjoyably as Ryan forced her head up, made her look at his face and ordered her to ride him. In response, her sex clenched and she graced his thigh with more of her arousal.

She leaned down, strained her head a little in his hand, feeling the pull of her hair as she licked the tip of his cock. She enjoyed this tease. It was going to make what came next all the more intense.

Do it, now. Chloe loved the desire in his voice, that thick undertone of need. He pulled her up. Chloe parted her legs as she moved to straddle him. Ryan's cock moved with the strain of his muscles as she hovered just above the tip.

Her eyes locked on his. She did not look away as she slowly pressed down with her hips.

Nothing could describe the feeling accurately. The head slowly penetrated, her lips sliding along the sides. Her walls hugged him as if they too remembered his body. Lower and lower, slow as Chloe stared into Ryan's eyes. He would be able to feel her inner warmth drawing him in just as she could feel every vein and ridge. He was so incredibly hard.

Their bodies connected as she sat across his hips. He was all the way inside of her. Chloe could feel him deep within her body. The very tip pressed against her cervix. She held still, didn't move.

For the first time in a decade her body felt as if it was awake once more. Chloe came without any movement of her body at all. The walls that surrounded him contracted and released three times in rapid succession. Her lips parted but she didn't breath. As the next contractions occurred Chloe took in a breath that made her whole body shudder.

"Ryan." His name was like silk on her tongue. She closed her eyes, breaking the eye contact as her hips rolled forward. Her clit brushed and pushed against him ripping a moan from her. Her hands started to clench on his chest, nails lightly raking his skin. She rocked back. Forward and back. Slow, sensuous movements that made it clear that she would not be hurrying in this. She had gone without him for too long. The tip of his cock rubbed and pressed against her cervix. Her clit was firmly pressed to his body. Every nerve in her body seemed to be reacting.

Chloe came for him again but she never stopped, never sped up. Her eyes had opened and she was watching his face now. Her hands moved over his chest, grazed his nipples.

 

[The_gladiator]

He smirked as she fought to get that last taste of his cock, yet he did not relent, his grip tight in her hair a silent battle of wills. Finally, she was straddling him and he was sinking deep into heaven.

She felt tighter than he could remember. “Fuck Chloe,” he whispered as she took him in. Just the feel of him inside her triggering the first of her orgasms. He could tell based on that that she would cum for him, over and over again. He gripped her hips as she rocked against him drawing gasps from both of them.

Her orgasms just continued, each time his cock clenched by her tight muscles and bathed by rush after rush of her arousal. “That’s it baby, cum for me,” he encouraged. He soon had pulled her down, changing the angle so he could kiss her deeply continuing to thrust his hips up inside her slowly, as he had limited her own movements, but this was another part of the game, she had started riding him, and now with a flex of hips he took over as he held her in place with hands and his lips.

 

[SandS13]

His words let Chloe know that he was as lost in this as she was. He felt better than wonderful. His hands held her hips, moved her with him and kept them in unison.

Now, Ryan held her to his chest as he thrusted into her body. She came again and again. Chloe cried out but her noises were stifled by his mouth. Her hands were on his face but that was all the control she had. He was claiming her, letting her know with his body how he felt. She was his, mind and body.

She tensed again. The walls of her sex clenched and his cock was bathed with a fresh wave of fluid as her orgasm tore through her body.

"Ryan...Ryan...oh love..." Chloe moaned over and over again against his lips.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan thrust into her blindly, losing himself in the feel of her body. “Oh fuck,” he whispered clearly growing close.

He held her hair controlling her head so their eyes met. Her green eyes shown with her arousal. “You’re mine,” he said forcefully as he locked their gazes as his hands locked their bodies together. He ground against her as he gave into his body’s need.

He could feel himself bathing her walls. He knew this orgasm, this first inside her would be good, but it was even better as his hands claimed her held her forced the intimacy of their eye contact, their kiss, his deep inside her with absolutely no protection.

Ryan could have worried about that in that moment, but he didn’t. She could be on the pill, she could not, at that moment he did not care, anything that came of this beautiful moment would be worth it. “My Chloe girl,” he whispered against her lips as he finally went limp under her, the tension draining away as his eyes fluttered closed.

 

[SandS13]

Ryan held her. It was a tight, possessive hold on her body against him and her eyes locked on his. He thrusted and called her his.

Claimed her. Assured her.

There was a lot in those words. She was his. She always had been. Even after their break up Chloe knew that she would never be with someone like she was with Ryan. Even if she had gone the same path he had, a boyfriend and marriage, it still wouldn't have been like the connection they had.

He came and Chloe matched the orgasm. They both rode it out, let it take over their bodies and join them so completely once more. Under her, Ryan relaxed and closed his eyes. She laid there, her face in his neck as their pounding hearts slowed to normal.

"Yours, Ryan." Chloe kiss his collar bone. Tears suddenly began to fall. She had opened up a part that had been closed for ten years. Big drops hit his skin. She didn't sob, it wasn't sadness just a flood of emotions that ran down her cheeks onto his skin.

"Ryan, I love you. I never want to be without you ever again. No matter what happens next it is you and I together." Her voice was soft, whispered in the calm of their breathing. It began to match up, their bodies syncing up as they remained close. She reached out and laced her fingers into his and held his hand as they remained connected.

Chloe remained straddling his hips and he was still inside of her though he was softening in their afterglow.

 

[The_gladiator]

Ryan felt her tears and just tightened his hold on her, not letting her go. Her tears as much as her words showed the depths of emotions, she felt for him. “I love you little one,” he breathed against her hair. “So very much. I never stopped, no matter what. I’ve reread our chats so often. Your writing is still the only thing I will masturbate to.” He actually blushed a bit admitting that. Even when he was supposed to have hated her, he couldn’t let her go, couldn’t let those things about them go.

Those words more than maybe anything else revealed exactly how neglected Ryan had been in his relationship with his former Fiancé. “No one has moved me in the ways you can since.” He said. Trust me I tried. It turns out that without you, most didn’t want me at the parties. I have too many rules.” He grunted, “My rules keep people safe.” Realizing he was rambling as was his way to hide emotions he closed his mouth and just held her, focusing on his breathing.

“Do you see this leading to a little white church and babies? Lots of adventures, what do you want from us now that we’re both older?” He asked finally after he had laid with her at last growing comfortable with the silence, with holding her hand in the intimate connection. As he spoke, he made no move to push her off of him, although he was reminded what goes in must come out as he felt himself sliding out of her to be followed by the warmth of their combined juices. He didn’t make a move to do anything about it though as he waited for her answer to his questions.