When I was 14....

[3113]

I'm writing a non-erotic tale with a 14 year-old girl and she hasn't quite jelled yet. I can't seem to get back into that 14-year-old head...so I'd like a little help from you all...your memories of age 14 (or 13), most especially the ladies, but don't be afraid to chime in as well, guys!

Ladies: What were you like at 13/14? Was this a good age for you...or the worst (and why?)? Can you look back and see what you are now in that kid back then, or were you very different? What sorts of outrageous things did you do? How did you get along with your parents? Who did you hang with? Were you part of a "clique" and if so, what clique? Did you have a crush on anyone? Did they break your heart? Did anyone lust after you--and did you know it? Did you use the power you had over them? Who were your friends? Who were your enemies...and why? What were your hopes, dreams, goals?

Gentlemen: when you were, say, 13/14/15...how did the girls your age treat you? Did you hang with girls as well as guys at lunchtime, or did you gaze at them from afar? Which ones did you have the crush on? Which one (or ones) did you despise and why? How did these girls come across to you? Silly or wise? Weird or mysterious? Did they know and use their "power" over you...or were they oblivious to what they were doing to you? And did any of them have a crush on you...and did you know it/use it? Who was the coolest girl your age (13/14) and why did you think her so cool at the time?

Any and all help very much appreciated. I hope you all enjoy the trip back through time.....

 

[galaxygoddess]

let me figure out where I was living at 14 and get back to you.

I don't judge my childhood by years, but by where I was living at the time. I'm a bit of a visual person. give me a minute.

 

[Guest]

13/14/15 was a godawful time. It was the time of Junior High. For me, 8th, 9th and 10th Grades. Hormones were in full swing and if that wasn't bad enough, I wasn't attractive to the girls I was attracted to, wasn't the smartest, the fittest or athletic. All at a time in life when people are excessively cruel about any shortcomings.

To paraphrase a fictional person that age, who had it spot on, "In nature, the males cruelly compete for dominince. In middle school, the girls get into the act." - Lizzy McGuire

The best time to be a boy is 11/12. You're old enough to get around anywhere your bicycle could take you (at least in my day), educated enough to hold the world in wonder and consider possibilities (Is there life out there? What would sailing to Pacific Islands be like?) and best of all, hormones haven't kicked in yet. When they do, all those deep thoughts are replaced with just one thought, Boobs!

 

[Vermilion]

I so desperately wanted to be 'best' friends with this girl who was really flighty and popular and a bit of a fair weather friend. I used to cry if noone wanted to sit next to me in class (later, obviously, not *there*) I struggled immensely with trying to be 'cool' but never quite got it right. I;d buy these shoes or this dress and think they were great, then I'd wear them and realise I looked all wrong. My mum didn;t know what was fashionable and I just got so upset by it. I remember this one pair of shoes though, that were in fashion one year, and I bought them just before they peaked - I was the height of cool! Goddamn I loved those shoes. Cream canvas Mary Jane style things with thick cream rubber soles and a bit of a chunky heel... they were great partly because my mum disapporved (impractical) and partly cos I kept seeing cool girls wearing them.
<sigh>
I had a major crush on this guy and used to write obsessively about him in my diary (more like stalker notes, really) and had multiple crushes on girls although I didn;t really understand those very well.

I think this is more from when I was 13... the year I was 14 was quite eventful and I started to get a bit more confidence... though I still get buyer's remorse with my clothes. If I stick to classic, I;m fine, it;s when I try to get 'individual' and 'original' that problems occur...

x
V

ps- one thing I remember doing almost obsessively was picturing bumping into people I had crushes on who didn;t notice me many years in the future when I was tall and thing and glamorous (obviously) and they would fall madly in love with me. A similar fantasy applied to people who made fun of me or who didn;t like me, though I would put them in their place and make them feel ashamed and envious.


pps- hope something in there helps. If you like next time I go home I can find my 13/14 year old diaries... they stopped shortly after that, but those ones were pretty detailed. You know what they say about diaries - you only write one when there's nothing happening in your life, cos when there is you're too busy living it!

 

[slyc_willie]

Gentlemen: when you were, say, 13/14/15...how did the girls your age treat you? Did you hang with girls as well as guys at lunchtime, or did you gaze at them from afar? Which ones did you have the crush on? Which one (or ones) did you despise and why? How did these girls come across to you? Silly or wise? Weird or mysterious? Did they know and use their "power" over you...or were they oblivious to what they were doing to you? And did any of them have a crush on you...and did you know it/use it? Who was the coolest girl your age (13/14) and why did you think her so cool at the time?

Any and all help very much appreciated. I hope you all enjoy the trip back through time.....

I was quite the ugly, pudgy kid growing up. Hair all over the place, baggy clothes, acne from Hell. I was very introverted (can you believe that?) and typically gazed at girls from afar. Now and then, one would talk to me, but it was usually to poke fun or because I was always the smart kid.

I had a crush on a few. Tammy Schaffer figures prominently, because she would talk to me a lot. I think we even flirted, but I wasn't too savvy on flirting at the time. I do remember that a friend of mine got upset because I spent more time talking to her at the ice skating rink than hanging out with him.

Girls were always 'weird and mysterious' to me. I could never figure out what they might really want to talk about, and I tended to take any hint of interest WAY too seriously. I don't think I could count the number of times I thought I was 'in love.'

There was one girl who had a crush on me (for whatever reasons), and thank God I was smart enough to recognize it. Tanya Dilinger, my first real girlfriend *sigh* I think she liked me because I was American (she was German).

Who was cool? That's easy. Lisa Leslie. Not just because of the alliteration of her name (personally, I thought that was 'way cool' in the mid-80s), but Lisa was stylish. Thick blonde hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and she looked damn hot in leg warmers and moon boots She was also tall, which went a long way, I think, in 8th and 9th grade.

Okay, now I'm gonna go watch some vintage XXX with Ginger Lynn . . . .

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Girls didn't pay much attention to me. I was the biggest outcast in the school at that time. Long hair, no sense of style in my clothing, I was an unbathed mess.

I had crushes, on anyone who looked at me with anything better than disdain, but never let anyone know about it. And if anyone had a crush on me, they were just as quiet.

No one used their charms on me, and I had no charms to use on them.

And I didn't view them as silly, grown up, or mysterious. They were just girls, and I knew that was good enough for me to like them.

 

[3113]

I remember this one pair of shoes though, that were in fashion one year, and I bought them just before they peaked - I was the height of cool! Goddamn I loved those shoes. Cream canvas Mary Jane style things with thick cream rubber soles and a bit of a chunky heel... they were great partly because my mum disapporved (impractical) and partly cos I kept seeing cool girls wearing them.

This is GREAT stuff, V! Thank you! This is not only useful, but it really, really helps to crystalize that age for me again.

As for 13/14, I tend to think that they're pretty much the same age, like 15/16. That year doesn't often make that much a difference except, as you say, to let the girl become more comfortable in her skin.

One thing I do find interesting is that there is a huge difference between girls 12 and girls 13. 12 year old girls are at their most confident, like they've graduated elementary school, hit a "pretty" sage, and are thinking clearly. They even seem to get along with each other well. 13 year old girls lose all that confidence as their bodies start to radically change and their thoughts get muddled and crazy.

If you like next time I go home I can find my 13/14 year old diaries... they stopped shortly after that, but those ones were pretty detailed. You know what they say about diaries - you only write one when there's nothing happening in your life, cos when there is you're too busy living it!

Heh. Too true about diaries! If you have the time and it wouldn't be too much trouble, yes, indeed, I'd love to know what you re-discover in those diaries.

 

[cloudy]

Ladies: What were you like at 13/14? Was this a good age for you...or the worst (and why?)? Can you look back and see what you are now in that kid back then, or were you very different? What sorts of outrageous things did you do? How did you get along with your parents? Who did you hang with? Were you part of a "clique" and if so, what clique? Did you have a crush on anyone? Did they break your heart? Did anyone lust after you--and did you know it? Did you use the power you had over them? Who were your friends? Who were your enemies...and why? What were your hopes, dreams, goals?

It was a great time for me.

I wasn't really all that into guys yet, although I looked, but no boyfriends yet. I was very athletic, competing in all kinds of things...my two main interests were the city track team that I was on, and showing my horse. I did reasonably well at both, so they took up a lot of my time at that age.

Got along great with my parents then. Hadn't reached the age where I felt I had to lie to them - yet.

There was a group of four of us that were always together: me, Julie, Kelly and Linda (if one of y'all is reading this, now you know who I am, and I still love y'all ). If you saw one of us, the other three weren't far away. We were part of a larger, very loosely structured group of kids that had known each other forever, and always hung out together.

Hopes and dreams? I'm sure I had them, but I can't really remember. I don't think I thought past making it to state or junior olympics in track, or making the state finals rodeo (which I did )

We lived in Southern California at the time, and what I mostly remember are the long summer days blending into evening that we spent on the beach. Every single day, tons of friends, and freedom.

It was lovely.

 

[3113]

I was very introverted (can you believe that?)

well, you really had a growth spurt, now didn't you

Girls were always 'weird and mysterious' to me. I could never figure out what they might really want to talk about, and I tended to take any hint of interest WAY too seriously. I don't think I could count the number of times I thought I was 'in love.'

This is great and very helpful! Although I'm trying to crystalize my heroine here, she's obviously going to have friends and there are going to be boys, so it's nice to have an idea of how they're going to think and act as well.

Who was cool? That's easy. Lisa Leslie. Not just because of the alliteration of her name (personally, I thought that was 'way cool' in the mid-80s), but Lisa was stylish. Thick blonde hair, gorgeous blue eyes, and she looked damn hot in leg warmers and moon boots

http://www.liketotally80s.com/images/letsgetphysical.jpg

Thanx for the memories

 

[3113]

Hopes and dreams? I'm sure I had them, but I can't really remember. I don't think I thought past making it to state or junior olympics in track, or making the state finals rodeo

How'd you do? And what did you and your friends talk about?

We lived in Southern California at the time, and what I mostly remember are the long summer days blending into evening that we spent on the beach.

*sigh* Yeah, I remember those kinds of days too....

 

[slyc_willie]

http://www.liketotally80s.com/images/letsgetphysical.jpg

Thanx for the memories

*THUD*

 

[cloudy]

How'd you do? And what did you and your friends talk about?

I was...driven at that age, and I did well in those things I really put myself into. I made it to the Junior Olympics one year, still hold the record for the long jump at my junior high (weird, I know), and made it to state finals rodeo two years in a row, where I placed in the top three both times.

We talked about boys, of course, but we were also horrible gossips, if I remember correctly: who had a crush on who, who said something horrible about someone else, who was wearing the ugliest clothes, and good lord, couldn't she do something about that hair? We spent a lot of time lying in the grass under someone's plum tree, eating so many plums we got sick of them, and just....talking.

We mooned over current bands, current songs, played horrid pranks on each other. Do you remember those old things they'd do on the radio where they'd pretend to interview someone, and then use clips from current songs as the answers? We did a lot of those - kept us entertained for hours.

Tormenting our younger brothers and sisters was another fun pasttime. We always had extra horses besides mine (everyone was afraid of my mare anyway ) and we spent lots and lots of hours riding.

I had my issues with my parents, of course, but for that brief time, they were minor, and petty. It wasn't until later that they blew up. It was almost like my soul was catching its breath in the time between childhood and becoming a woman, you know? Almost like time had sort of slowed, before the real rush began.

 

[3113]

I was...driven at that age, and I did well in those things I really put myself into. I made it to the Junior Olympics one year, still hold the record for the long jump at my junior high (weird, I know), and made it to state finals rodeo two years in a row, where I placed in the top three both times.

(Applauds) Whoo-hoo! Go Cloudy!

We always had extra horses besides mine (everyone was afraid of my mare anyway ) and we spent lots and lots of hours riding.

So now I have to ask...what was the horse's name? And what did it look like? And I'm guessing she only loved you?

It was almost like my soul was catching its breath in the time between childhood and becoming a woman, you know? Almost like time had sort of slowed, before the real rush began.

What a wonderful way to put it! Do you find this has been true with your own son (or friends of your son) at that age?

 

[cloudy]

So now I have to ask...what was the horse's name? And what did it look like? And I'm guessing she only loved you?

Her name was Star, and she was half Quarter Horse, and half Arabian - a gorgeous blood bay with a white star (of course) and two white socks. She was an equal opportunity handful, biting at intervals only she knew the timing of and dumping people off when they weren't paying attention - including me - or if she knew her rider was timid. But she had this huge heart, and was as fast as any pedigreed horse out there. She always behaved impeccably during a competition, but other times? All bets were off.

What a wonderful way to put it! Do you find this has been true with your own son (or friends of your son) at that age?

I've seen it with my daughter, but not my son. At that age he seemed incredibly goofy and uncoordinated...maybe going through the same thing, but handling it differently than a girl would.

 

[buxxxom]

14, for me, was a year of extremes. Got on extremely well with my girlfriends and my parents and their parents. Geez, that was 26 years ago, and some of the memories are so clear.

9th grade. Moving to high school from the smallest elementary school in the county was frightening. My core group of friends stayed tight, but I found another niche as well, another group of friends. Having excelled, with NO studying whatsoever, in elementary school, I only had to crack the books a bit in high school to maintain my straignt A's. It wasn't until college that I had some sense knocked into me by my professors, that education was work.

Still pretty much clueless about boys. I'd been kissed a few times, and all my crushes were as clueless as me. You can tell from my lit name, that I'm well endowed, and that seemed to be a magnet for all kinds of looks and stares from my new high school friends.

I also rode horses competetively, Tennessee Walking Horses. Weekends and summer days were spent at the stable, usually with a friend along, readying the horses for showing.

I also needed some extra money, so I got my first JOB. It was an ice cream joint, and leaning over frozen vanilla all day, especially when you're well-endowed, led to lots more stares because of the cold. So, at age 14, that's when I discovered what a powerful weapon boobs are, and I set out to find out how to best use them to my advantage.

 

[Vermilion]

SLEEPOVERS!!!

prank calls, talking about <whispers> shhhhhhhhhhhh ... periods. Do you have yours yet? what's it like? can you feel it when you're bleeding? Did you know so and so started when she was *nine*?

Ok... maybe the period talk was more like 11/12/13
By the time I was 14 sleepover gossip was moving more towards kissing, house parties, sex???

But sleepovers were very important. You'd try out beauty treats like oatmeal face masks (I had an allergic reaction and went red, blotchy and very itchy) cucumber slices on eyes, various cheap shop face masks like Body Shop and Superdrug ones.

I remember the prank calls especially though.

And one of my friends had a karaoke video we loved - we used to do synchronised leg kicks to 'New York New York' ... <sighs>

I love being an adult and the relationship I have with my fiance, but I miss that close female group friendship you have at school. All ym girlfriends now don;t know each other, so I never see them all together. I mean, those kinda groups brought their own unique form of misery - petty, bitching kind of bullying and imagined and real snubs and slights, but when it was good - fuck, you just felt *so* good, so included, so grown up. You'd swear you were gonna be friends for the rest of your life.

I'm only friends with one of those girls now... but she is my best friend, going to be my maid of honour. I;m so glad I have someone who's known me that long. I don;t have to pretend *anything* with her.

x
V

 

[WRJames]

I grew up in another era -- when I was that age, it was barely into the sixties, and no one knew that they were going to be any different than the fifties. I was still pretty much a bookworm at that age -- I did my sports in high school and college. As for sex -- people who grew up in the seveties or later can not imagine how totally clueless we were. I was looking up articles in the encyclopedia trying to figure out what was going on with my body.

I still remember in sixth grade asking my teacher, very seriously, why all my friends who were girls who had been so smart were acting so silly all of a sudden. And he started to talk about how different people matured at different ages. After a few minutes, I caught on to the fact that he was telling me the girls were ahead of me. That did not make any sense at all. I was perfectly rational. And they were just giddy. What was going on?

I don't think I was anywhere near figuring it out when I was fourteen. We all took ballroom dancing in those days, and there were dances in junior high school, very sedate affairs, no rock, just waltzes and fox trots, and the principal would go around the floor to make sure that the couples were staying at least six inches apart (the significance of that particular dimension went completely over my head at the time). But there was this one girl who was a real tease, and one time when we were dancing, very correctly, she told me that she expected a little more reaction when a boy was dancing with her -- and she pulled me in to touch her, and I felt a surge of lust that was the first hint I had of what sex might be all about. But then the little lady principal came bustling over, and rapped us with the ruler she used for measuring, and the moment passed.

 

[Guest]

It was a great time for me....I was very athletic ... We lived in Southern California at the time, and what I mostly remember are the long summer days blending into evening that we spent on the beach. Every single day, tons of friends, and freedom...It was lovely.

The only way I'd do teen years over again, is if I can be a male Cloudy next time around.

Maybe I could have been one of The Beach Boys?

 

[only_more_so]

Gentlemen: when you were, say, 13/14/15...how did the girls your age treat you? Did you hang with girls as well as guys at lunchtime, or did you gaze at them from afar? Which ones did you have the crush on? Which one (or ones) did you despise and why? How did these girls come across to you? Silly or wise? Weird or mysterious? Did they know and use their "power" over you...or were they oblivious to what they were doing to you? And did any of them have a crush on you...and did you know it/use it? Who was the coolest girl your age (13/14) and why did you think her so cool at the time?

Ahh... the early years of high school. I was really clueless and rather introverted at the time. While everyone in the class was new to the school, most of them had been going to school with each other for years, whereas I had been bused up county. So enough of the pointless background...

I had a secret crush on a girl for years. And I only recently found out that she had a crush on me at the same time, even though she had a couple of boyfriends in that period. We would always try to get paired for assignments, and she would stick up for my ideas when we had discussions. Frankly, if she didn't always have a boyfriend I would have asked her out (the worst part was when she would ask me for advice on her boyfriend, because I would try to give honest advice and not the "dump the bum and date me" kind of advice).

Lunchtime was about 2/3-3/4 guys but with some girls. When I think about it, I wonder if the girls had secret crushes on some of the guys, which is why they were in the group. But those girls seemed to be mostly "one of the guys". There were other girls that I would just gaze at from afar. Really there weren't that many girls who really excited me. Sure some gave me "boners" but so many of them were just annoying.

One of the girls I ate lunch with admitted years later that she had a crush on me on and off through high school. I never picked up anything, and kind of thought of her as a little sister. So I am not sure if she tried not to broadcast anything, wanting me to stay a friend, or if it was merely too subtle for me.

I should also point out that all the girls knew I was the smartest kid in the school, and that greatly affected what they said to me. A girl who rode my bus, hot as hell but dumb as a stick, said she and her friends talked about me. I was stunned that her friend even knew who I was. So there was a lot of stuff going on that I was definately not aware of.

Overall, I would say that I thought of most of the girls as mysterious, at least romantically. I could talk pretty freely with them about anything except romantic stuff, then I would get tongue-tied, or blush... That didn't happened too often though.

Oh, one more incident. In math class I got a note saying one of the girls liked me. I can't remember exactly how it transpired that I got the note, but the girl denied it and seemed repulsed by the idea. Probably one of the reasons I was afraid to ask any girls out.

Anyway, sorry if this was a bit rambling, but there were a lot of mental snapshots. I hope it helps.

 

[tickledkitty]

When I was 14, I had hair down to my ass and fell in love for the first time. I mean, really fell in love. It was scary and sweet and lasted for years. I swear, if we met up now, I'd probably divorce my husband for him. Yeah, it was that strong. I always thought I'd end up marrying him.

My favorite outfit then? Dark, dark green corduroy bell bottoms, big platform shoes, and a mint green top with a square neckline and handkerchief sleeves. I felt so pretty in it.

 

[3113]

My favorite outfit then? Dark, dark green corduroy bell bottoms, big platform shoes, and a mint green top with a square neckline and handkerchief sleeves. I felt so pretty in it.

I love this outfit

 

[starrkers]

14 was right in the middle of awful for me. I was that sad, little, unco-ordinated, geeky outcast kid. I was a year younger than most kids in my class (and didn't realise it till I was in Uni). I was called pirate because pirates have sunken chests. My parents were clueless on the concept of cool, so I had the most embarrassing clothes to wear. I always had to be home before anyone else.
Life got fun when I got a driver's licence (obviously not at 14!)

My daughter's 14 now. Her life revolves around friends - who's with whom and who's being a bitch and what music is the best and cool accessories. She'd be lost with out her mobile phone - she spends her evenings texting friends about their TV shows as they watch them.
Some of her friends have boyfriends, some haven't. Some relationships are at the holding hands stage, others are far more advanced. Then there's the girls who wish they had a boyfriend, but get all giggly and embarrassed at the very thought.

 

[slyc_willie]

14 was right in the middle of awful for me. I was that sad, little, unco-ordinated, geeky outcast kid. I was a year younger than most kids in my class (and didn't realise it till I was in Uni).

I was a year younger, too. Actually, two years younger. Since I have an October birthday, my parents decided to start me early, which meant I was 13 when I began my freshman year (which wasn't so bad, since the school I went to was grades 6-12). But then I skipped a year, graduated at 16, and started college the following fall.

It is definitely no fun being a 16-year-old college freshman, let me tell you . . . .

 

[TE999]

Growing up in a small town, being a boy of 13 through 15 was a golden time. I and my friends were totally engrossed in sports, cars and hanging at the beach. Girls were on the fringes of our existence, giggling and soft creatures that smelled good, but were of passing interest and a tad intimidating. We knew they were interested in us, but in many cases were lacking the nerve to do anything about it.

I remember a girl named Nancy who had a crush on me, but I was totally clueless. I found this out years later when we started dating after meeting at a dance. There was still chemistry there evidently.

I am sure there were some opportunities lost for amour, but that was a more innocent time.

 

[angela146]

I have to disagree with the notion that 13 and 14 are similar ages.

For me - for my generation (born in 1975) in the US in a school district that had a Middle School, 13 was the last year of middle school (8th grade) and 14 was the first year of high school (9th grade).

Yes, it depends on when your birthday falls, but mine was was in April, so I spent most of 8th grade at age 13, turning 14 only for the last 2.5 months of the school year.

On top of that, I was an "early bloomer" (wearing a "real" bra at age nine).

So, 8th grade was a time of being surrounded by children, with many of the girls in my grade finally catching up to my shape and height. But the boys were hopelessly childish.

Switch to 9th grade (age 14) and the world turns on its head. I'm a freshman being hit-on by 17-year-old boys. I hang out with the junior-class girls (age 16) rather than those of my own age. I fit in better, both physically and emotionally with the older girls and I'm accepted by them.

On the flip side, a lot of older boys did a double-take when they found out I was a freshman (and thus on the wrong side of the jail-bait boundary).

So, the difference between 13 and 14 is that in high school, things got serious. Instead of giggling-male-children pointing at me and making jokes, I had almost-adult-men looking me over and fucking me with their eyes.