When I Delivered Pie...

[AsylumSeeker]

I am normally a prolific writer with 86 stories to my credit. But I do suffer periods of mania where I write and write, and then must shut down and recharge. I'm recharging and regenerating ideas.

Which caused me to reflect on my personal life. Despite collecting a shamefully meager retirement check and working full-time, I tacked on the part-time job of delivering pizza to hrlp reduce personal debt. I acually enoyed doing it.

I was considering writing a few stories based on my experiences and wondered if there was any interest. Of course there would also have to be a fantasy component added as to what happens *after* the door closes.

 

[emap]

Ummmmmm yes.

There actually is a goodly number of people who would read a pizza delivery guy story, or pizza delivery woman. Heck we had a discussion about that very thing last year sometime I think it was, Sirhugs I beleive was going to write one.

Heck one of these decades I'll get around to writing one, lots of room for ways to have sex when your main character is a pizza delivery person, or well a delivery person in general.

Honestly, I bet that is the reason alot of men get into pizza delivery, they think they wil go to someone's house and find a hot naked woman wanting to pay with sex and more sex.

 

[BedtimeStories77]

Heck one of these decades I'll get around to writing one, lots of room for ways to have sex when your main character is a pizza delivery person, or well a delivery person in general.

My husband used to joke that the Chinese delivery guy had a crush on me and that was why our order would get to our place fast!


Anyway, I totally agree that there's many ways such a tale could work out. The "Mrs. Robinson" could answer the door in almost nothing... A young gal could have a part time job delivering to give her money for things at school her scholarship won't pay for...and perhaps she's "abducted" into the home? Might be kind of risky for the homeowner. Maybe the person that ordered the food was a b/f or whatever and they set it up as a role play and to give her a bit of fun during her work day.

 

[wehstar]

perhaps she's "abducted" into the home? Might be kind of risky for the homeowner.

I've heard of financial scam artists renting a place and then disapearing into nowhere. If someone was really organised and determined. A bit much in my opinion, but not as ridiculous as a lot of things I've seen.

 

[emap]

Hmmm, abducted actually gives me a rather interesting and long idea.

So supposing we have a young woman, just graduated high school, and got a job delivering pizza until she goes to college. So last delivery of the night she gets to this house with a Uhaul truck out front, she delivers the pizza talks to this rather nice woman and goes inside for a minute to track down the husband who went off to get his wallet. She gets grabbed, tied up and stripped, the wife puts on her uniform takes her keys and drives her car away.

Then she is picked up carried into the garage given some chloroform and dumped in the back of the Uhaul. She wakes up on a boat bound for any foreign country you feel like using to be used as a sex slave/whore and her experiences on the boat and after.

Alternate story, the wife is his old sex slave who is going on to her new master, so he can break in the 'new girl.' So of course the story is about her being broken in before being sent off to her new master.

Course you could always do a variation on kiss the girls except he doesn't kill them, just kidnaps them for his 'harem' minus the wife of course, or with the wife she is his actual wife and accomplice.

Hmmmmm dang I'm terrible, see what you did, saying abducted sent me off on a rather twisted little avenue.

 

[Carnevil9]

I delivered pizzas in college, too. I always fantasized about the "young bimbos having a slumber party but not enough cash" scenario, but it never happened. Would make a hot story, though......Carney

 

[AsylumSeeker]

The Birth Of An Idea

I'm a middle-aged guy, but what inspired this idea...

Watching car after car after car, spilling out 18 <wink> year old scantily clad HOT bodies about to feast on pie, of one type or another.

The door opening and revelaing a lovely young woman (probably 20) in the tiniest bikini.

And a flock of giggling young beauties with hair up in curlers saying they're having a "girl" party.

This is all true stuff, no fiction. The fantasy part is what happens AFTER the door closes.

I may write a chapter soon and test the waters.

 

[emap]

I've been to those, you would be bored to tears if you went asylum. There is no big orgy, there is no paring up and going to seperate areas. We all sat around watching old romance movies, new romance movies, talking guys comparing experiences and generally being silly.

You know you probably would think your at a guy's night in, we farted, we burped, we joked around, ate alot of popcorn and watched some movies before laying down in seperate sleeping bags.

I bet I have so killed alot of fantasies now.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Still Undaunted

I've been to those, you would be bored to tears if you went asylum. There is no big orgy, there is no paring up and going to seperate areas. We all sat around watching old romance movies, new romance movies, talking guys comparing experiences and generally being silly.

You know you probably would think your at a guy's night in, we farted, we burped, we joked around, ate alot of popcorn and watched some movies before laying down in seperate sleeping bags.

I bet I have so killed alot of fantasies now.

I'm still not sure if I should be adding mine ABOVE or BELOW the quote. Still learning.

Regardless, the idea intrigued me so despite abandoning other writing efforts I have again launched in a new direction. I'm terrible about this! But I am in the midst of writing The Driver Ch. 01: 14 Roses. It starts with the driver showing up at the pizza store and delvering his first order. And then the scene shifts to the recipient, and then plays out. The 14 roses is the key, a mystery until the end, and will be a Loving Wives entry.

My intention is to slowly learn about the driver's character, which then leads into the main story with each progressive chapter, which can be from any category, and may even involve previous characters (not sure yet).

It's all a grand experiment, feedback and votes will determine itss longevity or early demise.


Thanks, all, for the thoughts!

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Interested

I'd be interested if the transition works for you. It starts out with the pizza driver, and then instantly transitions to the recipient without any separation. Wondering if this works. Any comments would be helpful.


THE DRIVER CH. 01
Fourteen Roses

By AsylumSeeker

After changing out of his normal work clothes Rick pulled on a pair of light tan slacks and a colorful red and white, short-sleeved, pullover shirt with a collar. An equally colorful baseball-style cap completed the requisite uniform. By day he was a blue-collar worker, but on weekday evenings and weekends, he was transformed into a pizza delivery driver.

The extra money was the main reason he started. Credit card debt was very difficult to get out from under without an additional source of income, so it seemed like the logical thing to do. Besides, he loved to be out in the evenings, and didn’t mind driving or walking. After a few weeks Rick actually began enjoying the part-time job. And it certainly didn’t hurt when a strikingly beautiful woman happened to answer the door, either.

One thing he found interesting was the brief glimpse he got of a stranger’s life when the front door opened to complete the transaction. In that slim slice of time he could tell so much about a person or people, or so he thought. How they were dressed, any personal belongings such as pictures sitting on a bookcase or hanging from the wall that were visible from the doorway, what they were watching on TV or music they might be listening to… so many clues could be collected from that brief, simple interaction.

And after returning to his car he considered what he’d just observed and formulated his own opinion about the person or people he’d just seen. What they were probably like, things they enjoyed other than pizza, and so on. It was a little game Rick played with himself after each delivery.

“You’re early,” Crandon called out from behind a long counter twirling pizza dough high in the air as Rick entered the store.

Crandon was barely twenty and was an assistant manager. Rick was twice his age but didn’t mind being only a driver. After working all day, he enjoyed the break from responsibility. Rick felt sorry for Crandon in a way; what kind of life did the kid really have, anyway? He was still living at home, complained about being broke, and pizza was the only thing he knew how to make.

“I got home early, so I thought I’d come in,” Rick explained. “I don’t have to clock in early if that’s a problem.”

Crandon waved the driver off. “No, that’s fine, clock in. It’s not coming out of my pocket. Besides, we got an order coming out in a few minutes and Tracy is on a run as it is.”

Rick stood before a monitor and logged onto a PC computer running time-keeping software. After ringing in he picked up an insulated carrying bag and placed it on a tall shelf with several levels, waiting for the order to finish cooking. Rick walked around into the food preparation area as Crandon added toppings to an uncooked pizza and placed it on the slowly moving metal conveyor that fed food through a long gas oven.

Once the pizza he was waiting for came out the other side Rick slid a large spatula underneath and transferred it to a waiting box. A label with the name, address, and map reference was already affixed to the side of the box. He picked up a second identical label and stuck it on the short right sleeve of his shirt. After closing the box he slid it into the insulated carrier and stepped up to a large map of their delivery area.

Using the map grid he isolated the address to a small area and identified the easiest route to the house. Already familiar with the area, he knew wealthy people lived in that section. And in so many cases, the wealthy didn’t tip.

“This sucks,” Rick groaned in disappointment. “Those guys never tip.”

Crandon laughed out loud. “You have to take the good with the bad, man. Don’t worry, the night’s just getting started.”

<i>At least this isn’t my main source of income. Anything I make here is just extra, like the icing on a cake.</i> That’s what Rick told himself as he committed the address and driving route to memory and headed for the car.

It was still early and traffic was light. Less than five minutes later he pulled onto a cul-de-sac with beautiful multi-story homes and large expanses of lush green, perfectly manicured lawns and bright multi-colored flower gardens. Sometimes Rick and his wife would drive through the area just admiring how pretty everything in this section was and dreaming of one day living someplace similar, but deep down they both knew they’d never get this kind of chance at life.

He walked up a sidewalk to the front door while admiring the decorated entryway. Rick could hear a brief musical symphony of bells drifting from inside when he pressed the illuminated button. After a brief delay the front door swung open, revealing a well-dressed man who appeared tired and edgy after a harrowing day at work.

“Good evening, sir. I have your order ready,” Rick announced while pulling the pizza from the carrier. “Your total is fourteen dollars and eighty seven cents.”

He pulled out a wallet from his back pocket and peeled off a ten and a five. “Keep it,” he instructed and then assumed possession of the warm box before retreating back inside.

“Franklin?” a woman’s voice called out.

He shifted the box to his left hand and peeked inside as a small cloud of flavorful steam drifted out. It looked good, and appeared to be just what he’d ordered over the phone twenty minutes earlier.

“I’m coming, Maria,” Franklin responded. “I had to get the door.”

He walked down a short hallway, which spilled into a large living room. He could see the back head of his wife as she relaxed on the couch facing a large flat-panel HDTV. Franklin turned left into the kitchen, placing the box on an island before retrieving two plates. He quickly placed two slices on each and then rejoined his wife.

“This wasn’t what I had in mind for our third wedding anniversary,” he complained after sitting down on her right side. “I had reservations at the nicest and most expensive restaurant in the city.”

Maria smiled weakly. Her full lips curled up at the ends as her brown eyes sparkled. “I know, and I appreciate the thought. But I’m tired, and my feet are sore. Besides, you already sent me that gorgeous bouquet of red roses.”

“Fourteen of them,” he added with a smile.

“I know, I noticed,” she admitted.

 

[emap]

Nice, but really i think you should add a splitter, even something like

* * * *

Just needs soemthign to break it up and show a difference, otherwise it's a bit confusing since your going from a guy to a guy. Semi easy to pick out when it's from a man to a woman or vice versa but two guys is almost impossible when both speak english.

 

[Carnevil9]

The change of viewpoint does not work. Since you warned us up front, I was ready for it. But if I didn't have that from the git-go, I would have been going "what the fuck?"

Cute gimmick, but I don't think it is a good idea.....Carney

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Fourteen Roses

I think the story idea is a keeper. I may just write it as a Loving Wives submission, minus the pizza thing.

Thanks for your responses, ya'll.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Flush

'Nuff said.

 

[BedtimeStories77]

Re: Flush

'Nuff said.

"Royal" flush here. I beat you. I get my pizza free!



Anyway, "on topic" I did like your story here so far but agree you need something to help break it up some.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

I could be gross...

...but I'll be respectful.

 

[BedtimeStories77]

I dare ya to be gross. lol

 

[emap]

Eeeeekkkkkk no gross no gross.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

It Could Work

In watching movies like "Crash" (other titles don't come to mind immediately) it's common to have one character meeting a second one, and then the story picks up with the new one and abandons the previous one. It works better I think in film because the change is readily apparent.

But it could be successful in a written story if perhaps I "drew" a more detailed image. The story snippet I offered before could be greatly enhanced and might be the solution I need. Or not, who knows. Maybe I'll just try and see what happens.

As for "Flushing" and "Breaking things up", I do have some experiences I could also share as well. (I bet you could've gone all weekend without that visual! - LOL)