When does it start to look desperate

[geekmaster24]

I've touched on this in the last few days, but I thought I'd bring it up in a thread and actually ask.

I've been a mostly online Dom for about a year and half now (99% online with a brief rl experience). My journey has been mostly through that of personal ad's posted here, bdsmlibrary.com, and getDare.com. Now getDare.com is the more annoying as you get a finger shaking at you when you bump your ad, but here and bdsmlibrary do not do that. My question has always been at what point does it start to look like one is desperate to find someone through bumping your ad.

I'm NOT really looking for advice in finding submissives as all three has given me a fairly nice inflow of subs. My question is more so towards what everyone thinks that line between not desperate and desperate is.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

in general, I find it is usually appropriate to bump something when it becomes evident it is not being seen, or if it is important that people realize you are still looking. For example, on craigslist, it is not appropriate to renew/repost your ad every day unless it's a very busy section of the classifieds. However, if your ad gets down the page and it's clear that people probably aren't looking that far, or if there are ads above yours that would lead people not to clicks yours, you could bump it. I think as long as someone isn't incessently bumping something everytime it goes the slightest bit inactive, it's no big. If you bump something that's been long inactive, it's a good idea to edit the post to state that "hey this is still available" or "this is a new development in this post!" or something.

 

[Maxell46]

Personaly I think you need to chill out and stop fretting over the ad stuff. One or two bumps and then stop...
you look desperate after that IMO. You've only been here a few weeks...
relax!
And stop bringing your ad up in so many other threads! That looks desperate also.

You are up against a massive amount of competition here . Us guys don't get to many replies from those ads.

Every so often I'll get a PM saying hi just from posting in a thread that a woman happened to read and something perked her interest. It happens very seldom ...but it's nice to get.

Stay active on the boards without going ovrboard and just be yourself.

 

[geekmaster24]

you look desperate after that IMO. You've only been here a few weeks...
relax!

Lol Did you read what I said? I said I had been doing it for a year and a half I have not been here for just a few weeks.

And stop bringing your ad up in so many other threads! That looks desperate also.

I haven't brought it up in every thread just a lot of them.

 

[HottieMama]

Keep in mind that I am a lot older than you, and have a lot more experience in real-time than you as you read my response...

I think your whole ad to a degree makes you look desperate. The three? four? ways to contact you make you seem like no one is actually contacting you. The "slave application," is a bit over the top... Why not find out all of those things through conversation. Also, a LOT of women will NOT send you a picture immediately as your application requires. Some are very concerned about privacy and safety. I think also that you need to state that your year and a half of experience is ONLINE. I know, for me, I may contact you initially and when I found out that was the limit of your experience I would run for the hills.

Just my 2 cents...

 

[BiBunny]

Keep in mind that I am a lot older than you, and have a lot more experience in real-time than you as you read my response...

I think your whole ad to a degree makes you look desperate. The three? four? ways to contact you make you seem like no one is actually contacting you. The "slave application," is a bit over the top... Why not find out all of those things through conversation. Also, a LOT of women will NOT send you a picture immediately as your application requires. Some are very concerned about privacy and safety. I think also that you need to state that your year and a half of experience is ONLINE. I know, for me, I may contact you initially and when I found out that was the limit of your experience I would run for the hills.

Just my 2 cents...

I'm glad I'm not the only person who thought this....

 

[HottieMama]

I'm glad I'm not the only person who thought this....

Of course you weren't.... We DO still share a brain ya know?!?!?!

 

[JMohegan]

I think the fact that you're looking online at all makes you look desperate, but I'm old-fashioned that way.

Why no success with the local females? What's up with that?

 

[BiBunny]

Of course you weren't.... We DO still share a brain ya know?!?!?!

You'd think I'd remember this by now, wouldn't you?

I think the fact that you're looking online at all makes you look desperate, but I'm old-fashioned that way.

Why no success with the local females? What's up with that?

Eh, I wouldn't say that alone makes him desperate.

 

[geekmaster24]

Keep in mind that I am a lot older than you, and have a lot more experience in real-time than you as you read my response...

I think your whole ad to a degree makes you look desperate. The three? four? ways to contact you make you seem like no one is actually contacting you. The "slave application," is a bit over the top... Why not find out all of those things through conversation. Also, a LOT of women will NOT send you a picture immediately as your application requires. Some are very concerned about privacy and safety. I think also that you need to state that your year and a half of experience is ONLINE. I know, for me, I may contact you initially and when I found out that was the limit of your experience I would run for the hills.

Just my 2 cents...

For the record while it does not say it, the pic is not required. I am not the much of an idiot.

What can I say? I have never been a guy to go halfway with anything.

./sigh and I did say I was not really looking for advice.

 

[tenderlily]

In regards to the original question, I think it varies from person to person. I wouldn't be constantly bumping an ad to the top if it was still on the first page. I'm not sure if desperate is the word I'd use, perhaps unnecessary?

I don't think that it's unreasonable that you ended up getting advice on your ad. When I saw your question had to do with an ad, I got curious and read it as well. You can say "I only want advice on x, not y and z", but it's a public forum. People will offer their honest opinions, and try to help you.

I'd give it time. Good luck.

 

[Loverskitten]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maxell46
you look desperate after that IMO. You've only been here a few weeks...
relax!

Quote: geekmaster24
Lol Did you read what I said? I said I had been doing it for a year and a half I have not been here for just a few weeks.



DID YOU READ WHAT HE SAID? he said you've only been HERE a few weeks. He said nothing about your experience as an "online Dom" sheesh, your join date is right next to your name.

I don't do the online only relationships but yes, you sound desperate.

 

[Loverskitten]

And I must add, you post about something NOT working for you but you do NOT want advice? Hmmmm

 

[StrayKat]

I just want to say I love HottieMama, BiBunny and Loverskitten

Smart ladies, OP, you should listen to them.

 

[CookingDom]

My question has always been at what point does it start to look like one is desperate

I'd say about the time you start a thread entitled When does it start to look desperate

 

[Etoile]

The word "latest" in the sig strikes me as desperate.

 

[eastern sun]

There are a lot of submissive women looking for online only on this site. In fact, they used to outnumber the men who were offering online training.

I think you should reconsider your username. It's all marketing with personal ads.

You want a name that women are going to love posting in their signature - (i.e. slave/pet of xxxx)

 

[StrayKat]

I think you should reconsider your username. It's all marketing with personal ads.

You want a name that women are going to love posting in their signature - (i.e. slave/pet of xxxx)

Another good point.
I personally dont mind geeks myself, I love them. But I am not your typical sub.

 

[BiBunny]

I just want to say I love HottieMama, BiBunny and Loverskitten

Smart ladies, OP, you should listen to them.

We love you, too.

 

[StrayKat]

We love you, too.

*melts all over the place*

 

[Stella_Omega]

I couldn't decide if he meant he was the master of geeks-- in which case he might qualify as master of me-- if he were female, which he isn't-- or if he were a geeky type master, in which case the same applies.

 

[StrayKat]

I would vote for a geeky type of master. Judging by his location he is either a Star Wars fan or playing SW:TOR (yummy but I dont play it myself).
Either way he is just too young for me.
I will never find a 40+ yo kinky geek who is into video games

 

[His_pet_slut]

I'm NOT really looking for advice in finding submissives as all three has given me a fairly nice inflow of subs. My question is more so towards what everyone thinks that line between not desperate and desperate is.

so, am I the only one that gets this really amusing visual over the "fairly nice inflow of subs"....sort of like they come streaming in and then washed down the drain...

But yeah, if I was a sub perusing the personals and saw an ad that the OP had bumped 4 times in a week or so...then I went and looked at his profile/post history, etc and saw this thread, the part in your signature line that says "latest ad"...I'd run for the hills. Of course, the negligible RL experience would likely be a hard no for me as well.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

dude, if you aren't looking for advice, DON'T POST ON THE INTERNET.

Not to mention you started with a bloody question. People are just answering it for you!

 

[BiBunny]

Ok, I'm sure this is going to bring down the shitstorm of all shitstorms, but I've bitten my tongue as long as I can. It was the "I don't need your advice" that did it, for the record.

How do you call yourself a "master" when nearly all your year and a half's worth of experience has been online? I have been switching for TEN YEARS--the entirety of my adult life (*sob*)--and it has all been in real life, yet I would still never presume to call myself a "mistress."

I'll go ahead and get the wood and nails out now for my crucifixion.