When Does Care Become Control?

[sdma]

Been trying to understand how people actually experience control, routines, reassurance, emotional dependence, praise, submission, caretaking and relationship dynamics beyond just surface-level kink labels.

So I made a small form about it.

A lot of the questions are more psychological than sexual.

Would genuinely help me understand people better for both writing and curiosity reasons.

https://forms.gle/bY791u1weLr3PHxC7

If you know someone who’d enjoy answering this, feel free to share it.

 

[Rob_Royale]

Sorry man. I don't talk to strangers, cuz mom said not to, and I don't click on strange links.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Sorry man. I don't talk to strangers, cuz mom said not to, and I don't click on strange links.

What he said

 

[EmilyMiller]

@AH_Mod

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Try posting the questions directly into a post on the BDSM forum.

 

[sdma]

Sorry man. I don't talk to strangers, cuz mom said not to, and I don't click on strange links.

Its just a google form

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Its just a google form

Says you.

 

[StillStunned]

@sdma You might get more response if you promised pictures of boobs to anyone who completed the form. Or pictures of cats. Or a discussion about the rating system on Lit.

 

[Trionyx]

I clicked on it but there is no way I would answer the questions.
I prefer (at least the illusion of) my anonymity.

 

[liliput1]

Try posting the questions directly into a post on the BDSM forum.

Maybe one or two at a time so you can collate the answers easier.

 

[liliput1]

The generic psychology answer (not a doctor) is codependency. That’s when is stops being helpful and becomes harmful, often to both parties.

 

[MrPixel]

I clicked on it but there is no way I would answer the questions.
I prefer (at least the illusion of) my anonymity.

Yep, you got it. Nothing hosted on Google or uses a Google API is anonymous unless you are accessing through an anonymizer service like a dynamic VPN.

 

[Erozetta]

yeah, sure, I filled it out.

(For what it's worth, I've mainly given up on anonymity here, lol. I'm just so fucking bad at it. So many people know my real name now...)

 

[liliput1]

Sometimes I find it helpful to first carve out the negative space around a question to help focus on what’s left.

This story is sort of my platonic ideal at the moment for how light D/s can be cathartic and supportive rather than extractive or transactional. Because the currency is trust rather than titillation. @redgarters wrote it and it filled in some things I didn’t understand and cleared some muddy waters churned up by more salacious works:

A Melody of Surrender

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Spam is spam, no matter how much Goo is in it.

 

[redgarters]

Sometimes I find it helpful to first carve out the negative space around a question to help focus on what’s left.

This story is sort of my platonic ideal at the moment for how light D/s can be cathartic and supportive rather than extractive or transactional. Because the currency is trust rather than titillation. @redgarters wrote it and it filled in some things I didn’t understand and cleared some muddy waters churned up by more salacious works:

A Melody of Surrender

Oh wow Thank you! You've pretty much summed up why I wrote that story

 

[sdma]

I clicked on it but there is no way I would answer the questions.
I prefer (at least the illusion of) my anonymity.

There is really no need to answer give your id or username if you dont want to, so how is it not anonymous.

 

[sdma]

yeah, sure, I filled it out.

(For what it's worth, I've mainly given up on anonymity here, lol. I'm just so fucking bad at it. So many people know my real name now...)

Thank you

 

[MrPixel]

There is really no need to answer give your id or username if you dont want to, so how is it not anonymous.

Any communication with a Google product is not anonymous. They are in the business of connecting dots of personal information. Whether it is your IP address, cookies they set that live on your system, trackers, system fingerprinting, Google APIs - there are multiple connection paths, like strings on push-pins on a "crime solving" bulletin board, that all lead to who you are and where you are.

These are all common practices on the Internet. Alphabet/Google and Meta/Facebook are by far the worst.

Are there trackers on Literotica? I think the powers-that-be limit their use to maintain some façade of anonymity. I haven't noticed any Google APIs in the site's underpinnings. I do notice the X and Reddit icons in the lower left, and I can't tell you either way whether there are trackers attached. If there's a Facebook icon present on the page, your IP is reported to the mothership. I don't know about other FB trackers.

 

[alohadave]

There is really no need to answer give your id or username if you dont want to, so how is it not anonymous.

Why would you ask for either?