What's your security like?

[wishfulthinking]

I got bomb tested last week at the airport. They run that thing over you, focusing on your pockets, openings that sort of thing where you must either touch or store stuff. It's random, and they probably check for drug substances too!

And I would like to say, after flying through 3 international airports and about 3 domestic airports last year in a matter of a week, it was only on my last leg of my journey that they discovered a naughty nail file in my bag. They didn't appreciate my "you can't be serious?". They confiscated it [never to be returned]. It killed my film but didn't pick up my dangerous weapon. Hmmm...

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Being a single male and traveling a lot. I tell ya there has to be a better way than strip search at the airport.

Why do they have to always empty my luggage? It is not like I am new at the game of air-poor security. There is nothing to be found yet they insist on going through everything.

I am all for the inconvience for the safety factor. Just sometimes it is irritating, I can tell you before we ever set foot in the door I will be searched, my luggage will be opened, my carry on stuff will be dumped out. LOL and there is nothing. The only thing I ever bring remotely dangerous is my cell phone charger.

Dress in Shorts, t-shirt and sandals. Hello I am not dressed to conceal.

The one that kills me is the coffee. "Take a drink" It is fucking hot! "Nope take a bigger drink" "Ok stir it with your finger"

Now that it is spilled all over the "F 'n' " place! While the idiot behind you is in a hurry to get nowhere. What do they think I am going to give my poison coffee to the captain?

Oh but if you have a lap-top that is fine! Nothing could be hidden in that. I mean really security is a joke still and they are worried about files, and tweezers. You could do more dammage with a book of matches.

 

[cantdog]

FPAYS

Qantas had set up shop, but we weren't allowed to check our bags in. No, we were instructed to go over there to the government line.

"Come over here! How many bags are you checking? No! Don't move them! Wait!"

"Excuse me?"

But they were not answering any questions. Three of them stood in a little circle talking to each other, ignoring us completely until I stepped toward them to ask what the idea of the line was. I mean, I can co-operate; but you need to tell me what we're all doing if you want any help doing it.

Stepping toward them was not allowed, though. "Back! Back behind the line!" They ignored anything we were saying; all they were interested in was our feet, which now had to go behind a line. Not that they'd ever mentioned a line before then.

Tell people what you need, is my advice. If you require people to stand somewhere, let them know. Compliance will go smoother that way. Tell them nothing and you get to pounce on them and yell, but for me there isn't much satisfaction in yelling. This was their whole style, though. Wear federal outfits and pounce and yell, explain nothing.

Once our feet were behind the now all-important line, they once again lost interest in us and resumed talking to one another. Eventually, standing behind the line with our bags which we were not to move, we saw a girl with a dolly arrive. She couldn't quite get close to us, because the trio were standing in the way, so everyone waited for them to notice her. They didn't. We did, and she noticed us.

Finally, she beckoned with a hand for us to come toward the dolly.

"Where are you going?" yelled the man. "Don't move those bags!"

"Get behind the line!" yelled the other one. But they had to move to yell at us and the girl played through, bringing the dolly forward. She gestured for us to put the bags someplace, but she obviously had no authority; the last time we'd moved to help her out, they'd pounced on us and made up new rules.

"What do you want done with the bags?" I said. I was not going to play guess-what-the-hand-gesture-means, not again.

"Just stand right behind the line! We're taking these bags! How many bags are you checking?"

"It's fewer than ten, I bet you can count them yourself."

Bacha stepped in and gave them the skinny again about how many bags; I don't think they noticed they were being razzed, though.

They were there, stuck between the traveler and the check-in. One was to hand them the bags instead of handing them to the airline people.

They x-rayed them over behind some shielding out of sight, and thereafter you weren't to touch them, because if you did they'd have to x-ray them all over again.

It was supposed to be them, the feds, who turned the sanitized bags in to the airline. Not so tough to explain, now is it? I got it across in three sentences, and I never had to pounce and yell even once.

Of course we had to call across to the airline people from a distance about whose was whose, since they had neglected to let us tag them before sending us to the federal pounce-and-yell squad (FPAYS). If we'd tagged them we'd have had to cross a line and touch our possessions, and that would've been bad. Bacha did indeed try to tag her bag, though; the FPAYS agents became agitated, but they had never, of course, explained about the no-touchy rule. As always, they explained nothing. No, what they did was pounce on Bacha, yelling "You can't touch those bags! Get back!"

"I'm tagging them; they are my bags."

"We've already done those; we'll do that!"

"If you just tell people what you're doing..." she began, but they ignored what she said, of course.

As a taxpayer, I don't want to support a FPAYS. We got on fine for years with no FPAYS. I allow they probably aren't called the FPAYS, but they never said who they were, so we have to guess about that, too.

It also seems to me they could stand between the airline check-in counter and the airplane, where they wouldn't be able to pounce on anyone. Check-in could proceed normally, along with ticketing. The bags would pass quietly to the federal x-rayers, and then onto the airplane. My method keeps the public safe from the high-grade morons they have hired to take all the x-ray exposure. My method also constitutes a check on the airline ticket counter employees, who could do anything at all to the bags the way it is now. It is more secure, therefore, as well as less obtrusive, and no FPAYS people need abuse the traveler.

Or we could skip the entire procedure, but that's another argument.

 

[snooper]

Two points to show the futility of "security" on recent journeys.

I smoke a pipe. To that end I own a pipe cleaning machine. It is a little like a pen-knife but has a blunt, round-ended blade some two inches long. This was deemed a dangerous weapon until I pointed out that I was carrying a much more dangerous item, a ball point pen some seven inches long with a sharp pointed end. A very polite inquiry as to whether every traveller would be checked for these weapons and then have them all impounded was successful in gaining grudging permission to keep my pipe reamer, if I put it in my baggage instead of my pocket.

The second one concerns the Channel Tunnel. This is treated as a serious target for terrorists and passengers are treated like airline passengers with X-ray checks of baggage and early check-in, metal detectors, the whole lot. Fair enough, you might say, a bomb in the tunnel fifteen miles from the shore would cause a considerable disruption and kill a lot of people. As with many check-in systems, there is a separate check-in at London's Waterloo terminal for holders of first class tickets. If you use that one, you and your baggage are waved through to passport control with no X-ray check. The logic of this seems to be that terrorists can afford to buy explosives, but can't afford to buy first-class tickets; either that, or I don't look like a terrorist!

 

[Liar]

The one that kills me is the coffee. "Take a drink" It is fucking hot! "Nope take a bigger drink" "Ok stir it with your finger"

Ok, I admit dto not travelling all that much, but I've been stopped for searching once or twice. They never messed with my coffee though. What do they expect to find? A knife concealed in the black depths? Even if it was poisoned, who would you kill except yourself? What's the reasoning here? I don't get it.

#L

 

[SnoopDog]

If it wasn't for security checks I had no sex-life at all, so.....

Snoopy

 

[cloudy]

My belly button is pierced - and normally the ring in it is surgical steel.

Last time I went through airport security, I beeped when I went through that little doorway thingy, of course, so got waved to the side for the deal with the little wand.

It was a guy using it, and I explained, nicely, that it was my belly-button ring, even raised my shirt to show him. He apparently didn't believe me.

Not until his supervisor came over, who was a woman, was I allowed to continue on. She was actually nice, and thought the whole thing was pretty funny - that this older guy didn't believe me, even when it was obvious that his little wand went into overdrive directly over the ring I was wearing.

Where do they find these people? Are they supposed to make us feel safter?

 

[oggbashan]

One of my daughters has metal pins in both knees. It's a long story.

The metal sets off the X-ray machines. She always travels wearing a skirt and no tights so that she can haul up her skirt and show the surgery scars but even that is not enough. She has to take a photocopy of her X-rays to show.

I used to have a bullet in one leg. It took ten years to work its way out otherwise I'd still have trouble with security. You can imagine the scenario: "You have a bullet in your leg and you weren't in the British Army? Just step this way sir..." as the armed guards get twitchy.

One of our local WWII heroes has a body full of shrapnel. Last time he travelled through the Channel Tunnel the British Legion Secretary warned their security about him and asked that they be discreet. The checks on the English side are done by the French. When the man arrived they had already checked up about him. Among other decorations he has the Legion d'Honneur. The French police saluted him and escorted him past security to the VIP area. He had champagne while his mates had to go through the normal procedures. On arrival in France he got the same treatment. On return the British police put him through the x-ray machine and gave him a printout as a souvenir - then more champagne. He arrived back to his wife 'agreeably drunk'.

Og

 

[Colleen Thomas]

The last time I traveled by Air I left work and made the manic drive down to Newark. I arrived nearly three full hours beofre my flight was supposed to leave. I still missed it.

Anyone who has worked outside and worn boots will know that most workboots have a steel shank in them. When I worked for the phone Co. it was required that you wear settl shank boots, because most poles you climbed have metal stakes driven into them that you stand on while working.

My boots set off the metal detector, even after I told the guard I was wearing steel shank boots. They made me take them off. My second trip through I set it off again.

I often wore a corset to work, because of the great support. I was wearing one, a victorian, but I had forgotten completely that the boning in this one was metal. I ended up in a small room, with a not nearly bored looking enough guard and having to strip. Sparing all the gory details, it was the last time I ever darkened the door of an airport. So remember folks, your pen knifes, tweezers, pipe cleaners and coffee may bget you in trouble, but those terribly dangerous weapons, corset stays will get you strip searchered.

-Colly

 

[Guest]

God I hate flying right now -

Last summer my parents, my sister and I were called quickly out of town because of a terminally ill family member.

We had to fly from Kansas City to UAB (University of Alabama Medical Center) and our tickets were one-way.

Of course, because of the one-way tickets we were singled out at every stop. They pulled us out of line in front of everyone. All our luggage was opened, searched, we had to partially strip (in full view of many passengers) our shoes were checked, we were wanded, patted down, etc. Fuck.

I know it was more upsetting because of the purpose of our one-way tickets, but I was so angry by the time we actually boarded I could barely speak.

I mean, hell. My dad is 72, what hair he has left is grey. We tease my mother about "getting smaller every day" and she is beginning to look like the proverbial gramma. My sister and I are in our thirties, and I'm sure we looked traumatized just from our situation in the first place (plus we hadn't slept, we'd hurridly packed, etc.).

I know they were just following orders, but I have a feeling we didn't look all that dangerous. Which is the point, I suppose (albeit grudgingly.)

When my grandmother flew later that summer (she's 90) they did confiscate her knitting needles. Oy.

 

[Guest]

I have a dagger that has been through a dozen airports in the past two years, on my person and has yet to be discovered.

It is commonly known as a CIA letter opener, 6-1/2 inches long and made entirely of ZYTEL plastic. It fits into a special pocket in the shaft of my right boot. Easily accessible, yet undetectable by metal detector or X-ray.

No, I'm not a terrorist, nor am I a psychopath. Not a law enforcement agent or a criminal. I just like to have a measure of self-protection with me at all times. I've been mugged a few too many times. But only the first time was the bandit successful. The rest ran when I pulled out a knife instead of my wallet.

 

[SeaCat]

I used to be in security and know how the mind works. (Hell I even know how the mind of the Goverment Security Officer works, I was one.) I am also what I call the occasional air traveler, flying roughly three times a year. My wife and I have been strip searched three times in the past four years. (This was truly amusing In Logan International where they used to strip search you in a glass booth.) My wife was wearing a summer dress and nothing underneath it. Caused quite the stir. We have had our shoes checked every single time. (Gold Bond Foot Powder will make dogs sneeze.) We have had our laptop checked I don't know how many times. (One guy had me pull the battery, then he wanted me to turn it on while he was holding the battery. It took his supervisor to sort that one out.) Had our cameras opened. Etc. etc, ad nauseum. All through this they have never found my best friend/insurance policy. Go figure.

Cat

 

[wishfulthinking]

I often wore a corset ...

Poor thing. A particular bra of mine set of the alarm one time, but this was about four years ago, so no strip search! I was only 17-18 at the time, so very embarrassing, particularly as I didn't pay any attention the the alarm [they always go off!] and the security guard pounced on me as I walked off. He ran the scanner thing all over me, but every time it came near my breasts it went mad!

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Poor thing. A particular bra of mine set of the alarm one time, but this was about four years ago, so no strip search! I was only 17-18 at the time, so very embarrassing, particularly as I didn't pay any attention the the alarm [they always go off!] and the security guard pounced on me as I walked off. He ran the scanner thing all over me, but every time it came near my breasts it went mad!

It's quite funny now, things that are so embarassing tend to get that way in retrospect, but it was the last time I ever tried to fly anywhere.

-Colly

 

[Guest]

every time it came near my breasts it went mad!

Nice image.

Perdita

 

[A7inchPhildo]

Ok, I admit dto not travelling all that much, but I've been stopped for searching once or twice. They never messed with my coffee though. What do they expect to find? A knife concealed in the black depths? Even if it was poisoned, who would you kill except yourself? What's the reasoning here? I don't get it.

#L

Liar you got me? It was completely stupid if you ask me. I no longer fly in or out of Logan. Not because they messed with my AM coffee, simply the place is a nighmare to begin with.


After reading down, I can honestly say Thank God. Well, I always think I am the only person harrased, while the guy with the "Support Binladden" sign walks right through like magic?

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

While the nightmare of terrorist granny knitters has been curbed, security is loosening at the borders of the European Union.

EU Delays Launch of Passports for Pets
Fri Jun 11, 2004

BRUSSELS, Belgium (Reuters) - Owners will be able to take their cats, dogs and ferrets on holiday abroad this summer even if they do not have a pet passport as required under EU law, the European Commission said Wednesday.

From July 3, animal owners were supposed to carry a pet passport when crossing European Union borders, replacing a veterinary certificate that showed the animal had been vaccinated against rabies.

But many governments in the 25-nation bloc had failed to provide enough passports for their vets to issue -- sparking fears among animal owners that their pets would not be allowed to travel this summer.

The new deadline for the law to apply has been postponed until October 1, an EU executive said. Vet certificates will continue to be used until then.

"Pet owners should not suffer because national authorities fail to implement commonly agreed legislation in a timely manner," EU Health and Consumer Protection Commissioner David Byrne said in a statement.

The law agreed last year cuts red tape for people traveling with pets. Ireland, Britain and Sweden were allowed to maintain tougher rules to keep their countries rabies-free.

© Reuters 2004. All Rights Reserved

Not since the addition of chemically-produced cheese simulations were added to your dog’s kibble has anything so momentous happened.

A house-fast ferret is a terrible thing to contemplate! Who says the EU is an uncaring megalith?

In these days of diminished expectation, the fact that people will not be penalized for a bureaucratic cock-up, comes across as though it were good news.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Learned the hard way that you shouldn't make jokes about security checks at the security checks... Hubby didn't speak to me for hours after that.

But, I have to say, that nothing beats the American security check system! I mean, just look at the application forms for applying for a visum:

"Are you or have you been a member of a nazi-, communist- or terrorist organization?"
"Are you planning to perform any acts of terrorism during your stay in the US?"

Like, "Oh, shit, they found me out!"