Whats your most amusing misunderstanding?

[Mskey]

One from way back in my married days...

It was my birthday, and hubby and my best friend had gone out together to conspire on presents and such. After they came back looking all smug, we were sitting around talking, and my best friend asked me if I liked the movie 'My Best Friend's Wedding'.

NO! I said. It was horrible! It turned out all wrong. The wrong girl got the guy at the end. It just was totally unfair! The movie was horrible, horrible!

She watched me with this really blank expression on her face, then turned to my then-hubby with a 'oh god' look. He blushed fire-engine red. Then he reached into the bag and pulled out one of my birthday presents. What was it?

'My Best Friend's Wedding'.

Holy shit, did I feel like shit.

S.

Been there done that! My friends had once spent the whole day going out to look for a suitably special gift for me for my first night as a married woman. They came back all smiles and giggles and asked me if I was "ready" for my wedding night and I responded with a smarmy,
" Oh yeah I'm ready, I have every lotion, oil, toy, tickler and shred of lingerie known to man, thank god you guys are around to get me something I'll really like."
well my girlfriends immediatly bolted back out the door red-faced and when I found a reciept later that day I realized I'd just run the list of the gifts they'd bought me.

 

[Bobmi357]

In the category of "Never ask a question to a sleeping woman":

One day I'm up and looking around for something to eat for breakfast. The wife is still asleep. I'm really hungry and decide to opt for something that is still today one of my favorite things. Peanut Butter (Skippy, super chunk) and Jelly on toasted english muffins.... yeah I know, I'm 45 and I still like PB&J. So shoot me.

Only thing. I can't find the english muffins. I tear the kitchen apart because I KNOW there were still four muffins in the bag. But I can't find them. Finally in a fit of desperation I go in to ask the sleeping wife.

Groggily she peers up at me as I ask "Where are the english muffins?". In a very sleepy voice she asks me if I looked under the pillow!!!

Of course! The english muffin fairy might have visited us during the night and left us a deposit under our pillows. Boy I'm glad she thought of that. Never in a million years would I have thought of looking under the pillow for english muffins.

Needless to say, I DID NOT have any PB&J on English muffins that day....

The moral of this little story is becareful of asking someone sleeping for something. The answer you get might not be what you expect.

 

[ABN_Ranger]

Never ever, ever, EVER place your tube of KY and Ben-Gay gel on the same night stand the same night you and your ex-wife decide to try anal sex for the first time. 'nuff said.

 

[ReadyOne]

I used to get trouble calls from the 3rd shift workers. Wife would hand me the phone, I'd talk, and in the morning I'd remember nothing.

I'd asked her what I'd said, hoping to get a clue so I wouldn't be totally out of it when we had the morning operations meeting.

All she could tell me is, "What ever you told them to do must have worked because they didn't call back!"