What's wrong with this, please?

[HornyHenry]

I have a new story ready for release. Word says this sentence is a fragment.
I know it doesn't look right, but what's wrong with it. How should it read?

"Rene’ stood right beside him, with his crotch now at eye level to her."

And while I'm asking, how can this be written better?

Looking him right in the eyes, with lust forming in her own, she said, “You’re going to molest me, aren’t you?” while nodding her head up and down in a ‘yes’ motion, more telling him than asking.

Thanks, HH

 

[Guest]

I have a new story ready for release. Word says this sentence is a fragment.
I know it doesn't look right, but what's wrong with it. How should it read?

"Rene’ stood right beside him, with his crotch now at eye level to her."

And while I'm asking, how can this be written better?


Thanks, HH

how about...
René was standing beside him, his crotch at eye level to her.

 

[violent intimacy]

It's the apostrophe after Rene that's making Word think it's a fragment. If you use é or take it out, Word thinks it's fine.

And the other: The way you're continuing her actions in the same sentence as the dialog isn't right. Might I suggest:

Looking him right in the eyes, with lust forming in her own, she said, “You’re going to molest me, aren’t you?” Her head nodded up and down in a ‘yes’ motion as she spoke, turning her words into more of a statement than a question.

Sami
--
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=209414

 

[HornyHenry]

Thanks

It's the apostrophe after Rene that's making Word think it's a fragment. If you use é or take it out, Word thinks it's fine.

And the other: The way you're continuing her actions in the same sentence as the dialog isn't right. Might I suggest:

Looking him right in the eyes, with lust forming in her own, she said, “You’re going to molest me, aren’t you?” Her head nodded up and down in a ‘yes’ motion as she spoke, turning her words into more of a statement than a question.

Sami
--
http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=209414

I wanted to be sure the reader knew the nodding was part of the statement. This is a better way to say it. Thanks.
And, how do you spell Rene'? Is it René using an ALT-130 like I did here?
Or is there a better way to type it in a Word doc or ascii document? How did you do it in your post?

And, readyrnot, that looks like a good way to say the other statement. Between the two of you, you're cleared up my problems well. Now, I hope people like the rest of the story.

 

[violent intimacy]

Henry,

These days, I believe it is perfectly acceptable to spell Rene without the accent over the e, although I think the female version has an additional e: Renee or Renée.

However, if you wish to include the accent, I suggest you use the proper é character instead of the apostrophe after the e. (I use the Insert Symbol command in MS Word, but that will get tedious if you need to type it often.)

--Sami

 

[HornyHenry]

Thanks, V.I.

Henry,

These days, I believe it is perfectly acceptable to spell Rene without the accent over the e, although I think the female version has an additional e: Renee or Renée.

However, if you wish to include the accent, I suggest you use the proper é character instead of the apostrophe after the e. (I use the Insert Symbol command in MS Word, but that will get tedious if you need to type it often.)

--Sami

I knew there was a way to get those symbols into Word, and had forgotten the Insert Symbol thing. Good thing I have a handbook with ALL the ASCII codes handy. Once I type a word, I can copy or replace it wherever I need to. I like those that you can do fun things with, like: 8===Θ )ô(

I submitted the story with "René" and the woman's name. Hope that works for people. I could swear I have seen it spelled that way for a girl.