Whats up doc?

[Shadowsdream]

Having an interesting ICQ day brought this web page to mind...and made Me wonder if the con even recognizes the con.

Any one care to begin a new conversation?

You spend years going to University to become a lawyer, a doctor or a technical genius. you have studied foreign languages and now speak several fluently. you have a well paying job but satisfaction with your life eludes you. your fantasies of slavery consume your every waking thought with images of obeying the controlling Mistress through every indignity you can imagine. you fantasize about being ordered to serve your Mistresses Dominant friends both sexually and as a housetoy slaving over mundane domestic tasks.
you envision hours and even days of being caged. Totally Dominated by Her cruelty. Shown off as an object with no rights or personal freedom. A plaything to be rented out at Her discretion. your talents and skills to be sold for Her amusement and financial gain! you become all you can be as you take courses in cooking and massage and in your fantasy you imagine that this Mistress gains from owning you. SOME of this Fantasy could become reality BUT it is doubtful you will ever get the chance to taste the opportunity because your fantasy reaches the realm of impossibility when you offer to relocate, give up your job and become fully dependent on your Mistress for all of your personal needs. your offering Her your skills as a cook, servant, masseuse, slut and the use of all of your talents you previously used to be self supporting only become a burden to Her. you seek 24/7, usually in a foreign Country, believing that Her renting you out or selling your skills will at least cover the cost in owning you. This is where fantasy meets REALITY! you are really trading one employer for another. you are asking the Mistress to seek out the jobs that will pay your way. you are assuming that it is common practice for Dominants to rent or buy the skills of slaves when in fact there are so many slave wanna be's in the world money only changes hands between Dominants in well thought out scenes.IF it truly is your need and desire to find your way to slavery in a 24/7 position I would suggest you begin a new fanatsy. One based at least a little on REALITY. Do not burden this Mistress with your fantasy but find the balance where you give as much as you take.Use your honesty when you face the mirror and answer each question that I give to you. Think logically and use the real world as your map to REALITY. What is the cost in dollars to pay the rent, electricity and heat on this new home you crave to call your own. Add food and clothing. Keep adding! Real life is expensive as you have found out living your day to day mundane life. Add the wardrobe that the Dominant wears in your fantasy, from the leather to the boots of impossible standards. REALITY will tell you that you are still thinking to small...keep adding...TOYS, O yes the toys used to control. Food, entertainment, the clubs that are an important part of Her D/s lifestyle. Then you ask to be added to Her financial responsibility but in a round about way. Her intellect will not allow Her ego to be fooled into thinking She is getting a good deal.

you say that you wish for Her to care for you. To control you, both giving you your pleasure and denying it as is Her wish. This statement in reality is another way of saying that you wish for the Mistress to fullfill your fantasy of being controlled. you don't even honor Her by knowing her before asking for so much. When you make the offer of becoming Her house servant so that She may never lift another finger you only fool yourself. It is the servant in you that you wish to experience under the controlling hand of a Dominant Woman. She already knows that it is faster and easier to clean Her own home than it is to make sure you are doing it to Her high standards.
Now think a little deeper, I know you can do it! "IF" A Mistress eagerly accepts your relocation offer and agrees to throw you into slavery how long will you really be able to endure the fantasy you have created for yourself? If your honesty allows it can you convince yourself that sleeping on the floor night after night with no more than a little food and water is a lifestyle that will be satisfying? How soon will your personality stay intact after constant dehumanization and once you become no more than an object what makes you think your skills will remain sharp and useful? So much to think about "IF" you are APPROACHING with true 24/7 in mind.

 

[catalina_francisco]

That is brilliant and absolutely true, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us Shadowsdream.

Francisco.

 

[Shadowsdream]

That is brilliant and absolutely true, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us Shadowsdream.

Francisco.

Hello Francisco

I am wondering if I am the only One here that gets bombarbed with this idiocy..almost every day? Also wondering if there is even the remotest possibility that any of these hopefully really believe the quest they are on can succeed!

 

[A Desert Rose]

I think that sometimes, *our* reality is not reality at all. Your post illustrated a lot of unrealistic expectations and fantasy on the part of a submissive. I guess most of us have fallen into that spot, at some point in our lives.

The true test is whether one learns from it or not. Maybe your post will help open some eyes.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I do not get bombarded with it anymore, I have removed myself from most websites, have a very low profile on the Dutch club scene, and have retreated into my world with Catalina.

In the good old days when I was on the search and the hunt I used to get receive regular contact from submissives who had really strange concepts of what I expected from them and how our life would be together.

The amount of times I have had to explain that I was not interested in a slave who would be tied all day to a pole in the front of the house and be fucked by any passer-by were many. I was not the owner of a brothel and not looking for slaves who could function simply as a whore for me, but that seemed to be very difficult to comprehend for some.

I have started lately to talk to male submissives and have noticed that there seems to be a very noticeable difference between male and female submissive in that there is a disproportionate amount of males who have lost themselves in a fantasy world.

One of the advantages of being a male heterosexual dominant is that it seems that female submissive are more down to earth than males. Of course this is just my opinion and experience.

Francisco.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I think that sometimes, *our* reality is not reality at all. Your post illustrated a lot of unrealistic expectations and fantasy on the part of a submissive. I guess most of us have fallen into that spot, at some point in our lives.

The true test is whether one learns from it or not. Maybe your post will help open some eyes.

I hope so little one and nice to see you by the way!

Often these useless offers of 'slavery' are the beginning of the end for many that really could find their magic if they approached with some reality and forethought rather than desperation and excitement.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I do not get bombarded with it anymore, I have removed myself from most websites, have a very low profile on the Dutch club scene, and have retreated into my world with Catalina.

In the good old days when I was on the search and the hunt I used to get receive regular contact from submissives who had really strange concepts of what I expected from them and how our life would be together.

The amount of times I have had to explain that I was not interested in a slave who would be tied all day to a pole in the front of the house and be fucked by any passer-by were many. I was not the owner of a brothel and not looking for slaves who could function simply as a whore for me, but that seemed to be very difficult to comprehend for some.

I have started lately to talk to male submissives and have noticed that there seems to be a very noticeable difference between male and female submissive in that there is a disproportionate amount of males who have lost themselves in a fantasy world.

One of the advantages of being a male heterosexual dominant is that it seems that female submissive are more down to earth than males. Of course this is just my opinion and experience.

Francisco.

Thank you for the chuckle and a look inside of Your experiences.
I actually have found that male and female submissives both have high and unrealistic expectations, most generally in the first year or two that they discover this world of BDSM.
But there are many jewels amongst the mix who will follow their dreams and recreate themselves until they actually have a solid value worth owning.
Thank You Francisco for joining the conversation.

 

[niteshade]

I am soooo not a Domme, and I get at least one email a day begging me to make some buff (have you noticed they are always buff?) little boy my personal toy. Now, it says in my B.com profile that I am a bottom... so I am assuming that these well to do professional men got all the way to the top of the corporate ladder without the benefit of reading skills

I can only shudder to think how bad it is for you Shadowsdream. My condolences.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I am soooo not a Domme, and I get at least one email a day begging me to make some buff (have you noticed they are always buff?) little boy my personal toy. Now, it says in my B.com profile that I am a bottom... so I am assuming that these well to do professional men got all the way to the top of the corporate ladder without the benefit of reading skills

I can only shudder to think how bad it is for you Shadowsdream. My condolences.

Speed reading does seem to leave something to be desired doesn't it ~~grin~~
Condolences accepted!
Thank you for participating in the conversation niteshade...

 

[niteshade]

Speed reading does seem to leave something to be desired doesn't it ~~grin~~
Condolences accepted!
Thank you for participating in the conversation niteshade...

I tend to be quite the little joiner sometimes Thanks for opening the topic... your post was an attention getter.

 

[Justina123]

The fantasy you describe, Shadowsdream, I don't think is all that rare. I know I have had it!

"images of obeying the controlling Mistress [Master] through every indignity you can imagine. you fantasize about being ordered to serve your Mistresses Dominant friends both sexually and as a housetoy slaving over mundane domestic tasks. "

The point is, exactly as You say, is to know the difference between fantasy and reality. Sometimes fantasies come true, for at least a period of time. With both us of having demanding jobs, kids, etc... the fantasy you describe is not an easy one to fulfill for Sir and I. But at times it brings Sir great pleasure to arrange scenes just as you describe, and other similar ones, for a day, two, or on rare occasions, longer. When this happens, we both are very happy, each in our own quite different way. And know it has taken a considerable amount of effort on Sir's part to arrange the scene.

I personally think I'd lose a great deal of my self-respect if I gave up my profession as part of my service to Sir. This is not to say anything negative about those slaves/subs who have no outside of the home jobs. But for the practical, financial reasons You mention, Shadowsdream, combined with my own self-respect, it sure wouldn't work for me. And Sir likes that aspect of my personality, so we are well matched in that way.

Enough... thank You for another thought provoking post and a glimpse into the Domme's side.

-justina

 

[Shadowsdream]

The fantasy you describe, Shadowsdream, I don't think is all that rare. I know I have had it!

"images of obeying the controlling Mistress [Master] through every indignity you can imagine. you fantasize about being ordered to serve your Mistresses Dominant friends both sexually and as a housetoy slaving over mundane domestic tasks. "

The point is, exactly as You say, is to know the difference between fantasy and reality. Sometimes fantasies come true, for at least a period of time. With both us of having demanding jobs, kids, etc... the fantasy you describe is not an easy one to fulfill for Sir and I. But at times it brings Sir great pleasure to arrange scenes just as you describe, and other similar ones, for a day, two, or on rare occasions, longer. When this happens, we both are very happy, each in our own quite different way. And know it has taken a considerable amount of effort on Sir's part to arrange the scene.

I personally think I'd lose a great deal of my self-respect if I gave up my profession as part of my service to Sir. This is not to say anything negative about those slaves/subs who have no outside of the home jobs. But for the practical, financial reasons You mention, Shadowsdream, combined with my own self-respect, it sure wouldn't work for me. And Sir likes that aspect of my personality, so we are well matched in that way.

Enough... thank You for another thought provoking post and a glimpse into the Domme's side.

-justina

Hello justina and thank you so much for joining the conversation.

As you have pointed out so well in scene for a day or two at a time this fantasy can be hot and it can also take the mind to another level. The disrespect comes in when a new "approachee" picks a random Dominant and offers this 'gift' of slavery as though it were something new and precious.

It always amazes Me how said 'person' believes simply because One wears the title Mistress or Master they must have a fully equiped dungeon in the basement of some massive house. A solitary cot with a single shabby blanket and shackles firmly attached to the walls. Well I could spend all morning painting the fantasy room...Damn don't I wish that this was one part of their fantasy that was true! ~~grin~~

 

[SweetDommes]

Hello Francisco

I am wondering if I am the only One here that gets bombarbed with this idiocy..almost every day? Also wondering if there is even the remotest possibility that any of these hopefully really believe the quest they are on can succeed!

As we have posted on another thread (the one about misconceptions of 24/7), We have this problem often ... they want to relocate tomorrow and be chained to the floor when not actively serving, they want to be beaten for the mildest of infractions, they want to give up all freedoms, all rights, all privilages ... at least, that's what they claim to want ... I doubt that any of them would last more than a week, if that long, when actually presented with the situations they claim to desire. Doing these things for a day or two, as some have mentioned, is one thing, but some of the ones that approach us seem to think that that is the lifestyle that they want with us every day for the rest of eternity. Sometimes, I want to tell them to come over ... give them a taste of it - just to see how soon they will cave.

 

[Hecate]

Oh don't you love them ... indeed!

I am sooo with you from a female Dominant perspective.

It is amazing how many self-proclaimed intelligent and successful men seem to fall into a totally brain-dead imagery when their loins start thinking "submission".

Odd about those scenarios is it when you start to probe deeper ... they want to give up their jobs and serve their Mistress in all ways - but ask them to keep their jobs but instead pass over their bank accounts (which basically has the same effect on them becoming completely dependant) will get you some odd reactions from the "lay my whole self at your feet to be used and abused" wannabee.

Same with the "rent out / give away to other Dommes" variety ... try telling them that you have this older Domme friend who, unfortunately can't find a caring sub anymore after her car accident whereafter she remained paralysed and with bad facial injuries but you are sure it will be good for the slave's humility to go and serve her for a while as caregiver and sex-toy .... and see what happens (those blokes really believe all active Dommes are in their late twenties or looking it at least I sometimes think)

I could go on and on about it but Shadowsdream and the following posters have said it all already in terms of the expectations a submissive may fantasise about.

BUT ....

... how about the Dominants?

Don't you come across those fantasy-struck ones asking how to make xyz their house slave / toy boy? Making exactly the same assumptions about this misconception of 24/7 slaves?

"I want my slave to get up in the morning and serve me coffee according to the ritual in bed - and if he fails in minimal bits smack the shit out of him... " (who has time for that every morning? I don't - I am a working woman and in a rush after getting up)

"I want my slave to greet me kneeling naked in the hall whenever I come home - be it announced or not ... " (better make sure you never unexpectedly have anyone coming home with you! It is a bit of a shock for most - guest and slave alike!)

"I want my slave to take care of the house, the paperwork, the shopping, you name it ... and of course I expect him to groom himself, learn all about manicure, pedicure, massage and all other ways of caring for my well being at any whim!" (so he will not have an own job anymore, no income - you are the breadwinner of the "family" with all the pressure and demand that entails - all you want him to get for you will be paid for by you ... including his care and keep)

You expect to be entertained by intelligent conversation and show off your fabulous catch - both smart and good looking - to your friends. How long you think your toy boy will keep the edge being "tied up" at home all time and how will you really feel about your "posession" after all your friends have had him too?

How long till you lose respect and get bored by this whole arrangement by having a "stay home" man without any challenge, income or other outside stimulation to enrich your horizon?

And how long will you have the energy to keep up the Domination? (this is a serious question and those in the lifestyle will know what I mean)
____________________________________________________

to those practicing the lifestyle in a similar fashion please note I am well aware of painting my picture in drastic black and white, but the romance and naivetee I soo often encounter on both sides of the whip sometimes lets me wonder how much people know about themselves and their cravings, wants and desires to still fall for those things.
____________________________________________________

I distinctly remember on thread on here a while back that seemed (real or not) to battle with the realities Shadowsdream so accurately described My new life as a slave was the one I think ... and in the same "horn" though from another angle toots the more recent one about Out of steam - Dominaints

Strange as it may seem, the romantic misconceptions about the 24/7 BDSM arrangements, as different as they may be, seems to hold up with a stubborn persistance that never ceases to amaze me in our otherwise so literal and unromantic world.

So I assume I shall stay looking forward to further: "Can I live at your feet, Mistress" and see them disappear after asking them for their income statement and tax number *g*

Hecate

 

[Shadowsdream]

As we have posted on another thread (the one about misconceptions of 24/7), We have this problem often ... they want to relocate tomorrow and be chained to the floor when not actively serving, they want to be beaten for the mildest of infractions, they want to give up all freedoms, all rights, all privilages ... at least, that's what they claim to want ... I doubt that any of them would last more than a week, if that long, when actually presented with the situations they claim to desire. Doing these things for a day or two, as some have mentioned, is one thing, but some of the ones that approach us seem to think that that is the lifestyle that they want with us every day for the rest of eternity. Sometimes, I want to tell them to come over ... give them a taste of it - just to see how soon they will cave.

Hello and welcome to this conversation!

Do you ever feel insulted when You get these offers of relocation before a hundred words have even been exchanged?
As though You are being either used for entry into the Country or ridiculed for Your lack of common sense?
Arghhhhhhh She says with a ~~grin~~

 

[Shadowsdream]

Hecate My Friend...it is wonderful to have You join this conversation. I for one have greatly missed the wisdom of Your words....

The Dominant that can financially afford to live this fantasy does not annoy Me at all. But the ones that have not thought through the true day to day cost of paying all of the bills and how much they stand to lose IF they do not keep their toys stimulated with the realities of the outside world do annoy Me.

As much as I would like to embrace the fantasy that BDSM relationships last a lifetime, reality tells Me that they have as great a chance of failure as any others do.

So even though I have very high demands of My slave I could not in good concience strip him of his carreer, friends, family and outside stimuli. Even though he truly believes that would be his ultimate heaven.

Nor do I "Mistress Impossible" wish to be obligated to keep a slave or sub in their place and dominated every breathing moment. Every second moment works just fine. Dom/me burn out is much more common than often believed and generally originates in the high expectations that the Dom/me themselves have allowed or encouraged.

I look forward to more responses to Hecates very interesting question!

 

[Netzach]

I can't even imagine my way into that fantasy. I have a small and bohemian apartment. I need ALONE time, something that this doesn't factor in at all.

Maybe I don't want to spend every waking minute dominating your ass even if I had the chance.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I can't even imagine my way into that fantasy. I have a small and bohemian apartment. I need ALONE time, something that this doesn't factor in at all.

Maybe I don't want to spend every waking minute dominating your ass even if I had the chance.

LOL

Hello Netzach...wonderful and concise!

Alone Time! Yahoooo....I adore it Myself and agree wholeheartedly that it would be an invasion of My personal space to feed or encourage this fantasy.
Thank You for pointing out this very credible and not so often thought about or talked about reality of our day to day needs.

Thank You for adding to the conversation!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Oh don't you love them ... indeed!

... how about the Dominants?

Don't you come across those fantasy-struck ones asking how to make xyz their house slave / toy boy? Making exactly the same assumptions about this misconception of 24/7 slaves?

"I want my slave to get up in the morning and serve me coffee according to the ritual in bed - and if he fails in minimal bits smack the shit out of him... " (who has time for that every morning? I don't - I am a working woman and in a rush after getting up)

"I want my slave to greet me kneeling naked in the hall whenever I come home - be it announced or not ... " (better make sure you never unexpectedly have anyone coming home with you! It is a bit of a shock for most - guest and slave alike!)

"I want my slave to take care of the house, the paperwork, the shopping, you name it ... and of course I expect him to groom himself, learn all about manicure, pedicure, massage and all other ways of caring for my well being at any whim!" (so he will not have an own job anymore, no income - you are the breadwinner of the "family" with all the pressure and demand that entails - all you want him to get for you will be paid for by you ... including his care and keep)

You expect to be entertained by intelligent conversation and show off your fabulous catch - both smart and good looking - to your friends. How long you think your toy boy will keep the edge being "tied up" at home all time and how will you really feel about your "posession" after all your friends have had him too?

Hecate

LOL, this brought a smile to my dial. While searching for the one for me, I actually had a Dominant tell me this was his expectation of me if I agreed to be his 24/7 slave, along with a few other things I thought belonged more in the fantasy realm than reality. Needless to say, despite him attempting to lure me with promise of a financially rich life as his slave, he quickly went to the bottom of the list, and soon after, off it all together. Sheeesh, I could just imagine how my arthritic knees would have been after a week of all that coffee/tea ritual in the morning, and the countless other tasks and rituals he wanted carried out on a wooden floor on my knees each and every day!!

Catalina http://www.gifs-paradies.de/smilies/00001753.gif

 

[SweetDommes]

Hecate - We have run across those Dominants as well, and usually just ignore them ... as well as stating (for the benifit of any subs who may think that we are the same) that we aren't like that.

SD - We have contemplated that many are just trying to use us as a means to enter the country, but everywhere that we have posted, we are quite clear that we want only US citizens, preferably living in the country already (although we have talked to students studying abroad, etc - as long as they are US cits ... or Canadian, but even that is pushing it a bit for us). And I am always highly insulted that anyone would even consider that we would let them move in before we have had any kind of chat with them - as if we are that stupid in this day and age. Our boy worked out much better and much faster than we were expecting, but that is mostly because, as a truck driver, he didn't really have another home to move out of.