What's the worst movie you ever saw?

[Kirk482002]

I was bored today and felt like watching a movie to cheer me up. I checked my local cable for new releases and saw that the movie 'Anchorman' was on. Having never seen it, I placed my $3.99 order and popped a tape in to record it in case it was a keeper.

It was, by far, one of the worst movies I have ever seen and I include 'Caddyshack 2' and 'Plan 9 From Outerspace' in this group.

Now, I'm not talking about not liking a movie because you just don't like horror flicks or tearjerkers or something, nor am I talking about ‘B’ movies.

I’m talking about drama or comedy and being served up two hours of crap that seem like four.

A few more have come to mind that suck too, but they would be hard pressed to sink as low as that movie.

Exorcist 2, The Hulk, and The Avengers come to mind.

What’s your thoughts?

Kirk

 

[impressive]

Shanghai Surprise

... followed closely by ...

Videodrome

 

[Belegon]

I was bored today and felt like watching a movie to cheer me up. I checked my local cable for new releases and saw that the movie 'Anchorman' was on. Having never seen it, I placed my $3.99 order and popped a tape in to record it in case it was a keeper.

Kirk

Kirk, just somthing to give you a laugh...in the aerial shots in Anchorman, you can clearly see Petco Park (where the Padres play) in the shots featuring the chopper.


Petco opened for play in April 2004. The movie is set in the 70's. In the 70's the Ballpark District was nothing but abandoned warehouses and tumble-down old homes. Even the bordering Gaslamp Quarter was basically a ratty red light district. Just to give you a reason to laugh at the movie if not with it.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Videodrome

Really? That's one of my favourites.


I think the worst I (or someone ) actually paid to watch (at the movies) was Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever closely followed by Wild Wild West

 

[SnoopDog]

There's a million of worse movies, especially in the trash/horro/b-flick/cheap-action categories. But most of them don't intend to be good and so I have no problem with that.

But some of the movies I hate the most because I think they are in one or many ways awfully bad are: (in no particular order)

- 2001 - A space odyssey
- Van Helsing
- Naturally Blonde 2
- The Excorcist (The original)
- I, Robot

and most of all

- The Matrix Reloaded
- The Matrix Revolutions

Snoopy

 

[TheEarl]

I liked I, Robot! I was convinced it was going to be a Will Smith ego-fest, but he actually managed to keep his colossal self-love out of the film to the most extent.

Will Smith and his narcissexuality - the love that can't help but speak its name.

The Earl

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Side F/X............major suckage. It had to be some film majors first attempt at a movie.
Rent it only if you are high or need something to make fun of.

suck, suck, suck.

 

[oggbashan]

The worst one I ever saw, and I don't include favourite turkeys like Plan 9 from Outer Space which I have watched and enjoyed several times, was an Italian-made epic called something like Samson meets Hercules. It was dubbed into so-called English by Italian actors who thought Chicago gangster movies were great sources for accurate Americanisms.

I saw it in the local fleapit cinema on a wet Saturday afternoon. All the seats except the back row from were ex-Corporation tramcars. The back row was a collection of settees retrieved from dumpsters and cost an additional two pence above the normal sixpence. That was old pennies so current cost would be £0.03.

It wasn't worth the money I paid. The audience agreed and pleaded with the projectionist to change it for anything. I think he eventually relented for a rerun of the silent Perils of Pauline.

One thing I do remember was that Samson and Hercules initially dueled with each other like Roman gladiators. The back scene was supposed to be an amphitheatre but looked more like a municipal high rise car park. One of them kept flashing his Rolex watch during the fight scenes. They then became buddies and took on the local bad guys who dived to the floor before being hit.

I do NOT want to see it again.

Og

 

[ElizabethWest]

If you're under the impression that Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can't make a bad movie together, go find Joe vs. the Volcano.

 

[Kirk482002]

Well, they say, "To each thier own", but I've come up with some more.

From Justin to Kelly
The Master of Disgiuse
Stop or My Mom Will Shoot
Superman 4
Star Trek 5
Car 54 Where Are You?
Howard the Duck
Waterworld
Battlefirld Earth
Freddy Got Fingered
Cat in the Hat (How could I foget this one?)
The Godfather 3

All are my opinion. I'm not looking to pick a fight here....

Of course, unless you want to...

 

[TheEarl]

If you're under the impression that Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can't make a bad movie together, go find Joe vs. the Volcano.

I'm under the impression that most Tom Hanks films are bad films.

The Earl

 

[Kirk482002]

Yo Belgon!

I actually left the tape running. I've got to back and check out the editing mistakes, although I don't live out that way so it won't be easy. I'll have the remote in my hand so I don't have to watch another moment of 'fine' acting in it.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

From Justin to Kelly
The Master of Disgiuse
Stop or My Mom Will Shoot
Superman 4
Star Trek 5
Car 54 Where Are You?
Howard the Duck
Waterworld
Battlefirld Earth
Freddy Got Fingered
Cat in the Hat (How could I foget this one?)
The Godfather 3

All are my opinion. I'm not looking to pick a fight here....

Of course, unless you want to...

You're brave to admit you saw Justin loves Kelly.

 

[ElizabethWest]

From Justin to Kelly
The Master of Disgiuse
Stop or My Mom Will Shoot
Superman 4
Star Trek 5
Car 54 Where Are You?
Howard the Duck
Waterworld
Battlefirld Earth
Freddy Got Fingered
Cat in the Hat (How could I foget this one?)
The Godfather 3

All are my opinion. I'm not looking to pick a fight here....

Of course, unless you want to...

I've not seen a single one of them.

 

[yui]

- 2001 - A space odyssey


Snoopy

Agreed, Snoopy. It sucked.


- Against All Odds - 80's flick full of sex and beautiful people and I still couldn't stay awake until the end. I tried several times. The song was good, though.
- Beverly Hills Ninja
- And I can't watch most Steven Seagal movies. I become embarrassed for him.

 

[Kirk482002]

Snoopdog

You said...]There's a million of worse movies, especially in the trash/horro/b-flick/cheap-action categories. But most of them don't intend to be good and so I have no problem with that.

But some of the movies I hate the most because I think they are in one or many ways awfully bad are: (in no particular order)

- 2001 - A space odyssey
- Van Helsing
- Naturally Blonde 2
- The Excorcist (The original)
- I, Robot

and most of all

- The Matrix Reloaded
- The Matrix Revolutions

Snoopy

I actually liked all of the above with the exception of Naturally Blond 2.... never saw it.

 

[Kirk482002]

Justin meets Kelly

I had to watch it. My kid was home when I came home from work and she wanted to watch it. I see her (even though she lives with me) roughly once a week. It wasn't exactly 'quality time' but she was happy i watcvhed it with her.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I had to watch it. My kid was home when I came home from work and she wanted to watch it. I see her (even though she lives with me) roughly once a week. It wasn't exactly 'quality time' but she was happy i watcvhed it with her.

You're a saint.

 

[Kirk482002]

Your lucky

elizabethwest, you said: I've not seen a single one of them.




Consider yourself lucky and have saved a few hours of your life.

 

[ElizabethWest]

elizabethwest, you said: I've not seen a single one of them.




Consider yourself lucky and have saved a few hours of your life.

.

 

[Virtual_Burlesque]

I disremember the title of the worst movie I ever saw, but I will never forget the story, or the incidents surrounding my getting to see it.

A very earnest young man hung around where I worked and talked with me whenever my duties permitted. He was rather handsome, well-dressed, clean cut, and polite; so, in that environment, he stuck out as someone out of the ordinary.

Although he did reference his religious beliefs a mite too frequently to be entirely comfortable, he was never adamant that I accept his opinions, and so he was a pleasant conversationalist.

After several requests, I finally agreed to go out with him, to a movie.

You may imagine my chagrin when the movie turned out to be a special showing to a youth group in the basement of the church my date attended.

The movie was about ninety minutes long (it seemed far longer) consisting mainly of rather wooden performances of a young man whose friends where always trying to convince him to bend the rules or take a shortcut or react in some illicit fashion; but this hero was made of the right stuff, and resisted temptation.

As he is helping an old lady across the street, one of his drunken friends — whom he has refused to accompany – squeals around the corner, out of control. Although, he manages to shove the old lady out of the path of his friend’s car, he himself is stuck and killed.

The last we see of the drunken friend, he is being led away to jail in handcuffs, between two burly cops. (He wasn’t wearing the traditional striped suit, but that was the only thing missing.)

The final scene is of the mourners, clustered about the grave as the coffin is lowered, the shot dissolves into a longshot of the (empty) hearse and mourners’ cars driving away from the cemetery.

Slowly the camera pans back to the grave (already strangely covered with grass) and the shot gradually tightens.

When only the tombstone and grass-covered grave fill the lens, there comes a bit of action seemingly taken straight out of “Carrie”

With a popping sound (and – I swear – a sound similar to what I imagine tearing grass would make) a hole in the sod over the grave appears and our hero – now a luminous figure, but still wearing the clothes he had on when hit by the car – squirts up and shoots higher and higher until he disappears into the clouds, while the soundtrack puckered its seams with celebratory music.

It first struck me that his grave had spit him out, or maybe he had been fired into space by an underground cannon. (This was at least six years before Hunter S. Thompson's funeral service.)

After nearly ninety minutes of brain-numbingly pathetic bathos, this five seconds (at most) of action had a strange effect upon me.

First, I snorted; then, I started to fizzle as I tried to restrain myself, but the inducement to laugher had been too great, and I laughed aloud.

Instantly, two hundred eyes turned from the screen to be pointed in my direction, and every single eye targeting me was blind to the humour of what I had seen as hilarious.

But the kitschy literalness of that visual metaphor had convulsed me, and nothing could inhibit me. I laughed so hard, I could barely get my breath. My shoulders were hunched, as tears ran down my cheeks. And every time my date dug me in the ribs with an elbow, or tried to say something admonitory to me, he’d only set me off all over again.

The projector was stoped and the lights came up. Eventually, the group leader asked me to leave the premises.

On the way home, my date got little satisfaction from me. If he tried to ask what my problem was, or comment about the evening, he'd only set me off again.

It was weeks before I could think of that incident without breaking out into fresh laughter.

Although, I believe my date deserved some sort of punishment for tricking me about the nature of “the movie” we were going to see, I do feel a bit sorry for him.

Not enough, however, to be sorry that I never saw him again.

 

[Guest]

If you're under the impression that Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan can't make a bad movie together, go find Joe vs. the Volcano.

I loved that movie.

You want to talk about bad, and I mean really bad. I rented the DVD for Fraddy Got Fingered. After a half hour I pulled it out of the DVD player, put it back in its case and made a special trip back to the video rental to get it out of my house. That was the most ill concieved, insulting, OFFENSIVE, piece of shit that Hollywood ever produced. I told the people at the rental place to destroy every copy of that movie they had because NO ONE should have to sit through that shit.

 

[Extreme Bohunk]

The Creeping Terror
So bad, I had to buy a copy.

 

[ElizabethWest]

I loved that movie.

You want to talk about bad, and I mean really bad. I rented the DVD for Fraddy Got Fingered. After a half hour I pulled it out of the DVD player, put it back in its case and made a special trip back to the video rental to get it out of my house. That was the most ill concieved, insulting, OFFENSIVE, piece of shit that Hollywood ever produced. I told the people at the rental place to destroy every copy of that movie they had because NO ONE should have to sit through that shit.

Never saw that one. Fortunately.

 

[SeaCat]

Me, Myself, and Irene
Red Dawn
The original RollerBall. (The new one has a kick ass soundtrack.)
Either of the Kill Bill's
Hell anything by the director of Kill Bill.
Starship Troopers 2
Vlad

Of course all of the above could have been made better and/or more entertaining by the addition of gratuitouse violence and/or nudity.

The movie, and the only movie which I have returned to the store only half watched though would have to be "Diablo". There was absolutely nothing short of destruction which could have saved this movie.

Cat