What's it like???

[Jaded Diesel]

Hey everyone...

I'm back on the boards after a little break...read: boring and monotonous vanilla relationship...and I'm thinking about overcoming some fears and getting more serious about my submission interests. I've had very little real life play - and it was with another sub who was just showing me some basics of bondage, etc.

In my effort to meet more people in my area, I am planning on going to a local bdsm club in a few weeks with that sub friend I mentioned earlier. I was just wondering if anyone could give me some idea of what to expect from other people, what to wear, what to do to stay safe, etc.

In case it makes any difference, my goal eventually is to meet a dom around my age and with similar life goals to start a real relationship with. How do strangers talk to each other at the club? I'm so nervous!!!

Thanks for all your advice in advance!

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Good luck...

 

[SweetErika]

I doubt any of us will know what to expect from a club we're unfamiliar with. My club has a New Member Orientation that goes over the rules, etiquette, events, etc., especially newbie-friendly nights, and volunteers to help people feel more comfortable and answer any questions. If I were you, I'd ask if the club has anything geared toward new members, then go to that/those events. At the very least, there should be someone who can answer all of your questions.

I wear whatever I want, as it's a diverse crowd, and stay safe by checking everything out first, not playing with those I don't know and keeping my personal info private until I get to know people (and then it's usually just my first name, a generic email, and possibly an unlisted phone number if I trust them). I've learned how to negotiate, go to non-sexual events like classes/workshops, and trust my instincts. Our club has lots of rules and measures to keep people safe and feeling good - no alcohol/drugs, no means no, don't pester/pressure, dungeon monitors and other officials odd behavior can be reported to, a universal safeword, no cameras or phones, and no touching without permission are just a few of them. Even without my partner, I feel very safe and comfortable there, and have never had more than a creepy look.

 

[Jaded Diesel]

yeah, i knew the responses would be rather generalized...but at the same time i wasn't sure if clubs really differed that much. thanks for your advice though...i'm going to see if it has anything specifically for new members.