What's good about marriage...
- Thread starter p_p_man
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White_Tigress_
Really Really Experienced
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- Jul 8, 2001
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I'm not sure how to comment here... I'm very happily married.
Savage Kitten
Image IS Everything
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- Apr 16, 2000
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I think it should be as hard and as expensive to get married as it is to get a divorce.. then people may think twice about it haha
White_Tigress_
Really Really Experienced
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- Jul 8, 2001
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Demine,
I had found my sole mate. I know that term is used alot out there, but I found it to be true.
I used to date this one guy for 11yrs, (father of my daugher) until he left us to be with my sister(long story).
When I met my husband, he knew more about me than even my family knew, just by my expressions, actions, moods etc.. I was astonished! We now have been married since 1998 and still haven't had one argument. (sure we disagree on some things but those brush over, and no yelling at all). We can talk so openly to one another about ANYTHING, and I mean anything. No secrets kept here on my end anyhow. I feel the love from him everyday, feel very safe and secure, I cherish loving him. He gets along great with my 8yr old daughter and she just adores him. that means alot to me.
OH, I should mention too, he does laundry, cleans up after himself, cooks on occations, irons, and even sews when I ask.
I do hear alot of people complain, but I ask myself.....why stay in a relationship if your not happy? You only live once. ENJOY it!!! Not be misserable for years to come.
About the money/cost of divorce - when people get married, do they not think of how much it would cost to get out of it?? Your fault if you didn't.
I had found my sole mate. I know that term is used alot out there, but I found it to be true.
I used to date this one guy for 11yrs, (father of my daugher) until he left us to be with my sister(long story).
When I met my husband, he knew more about me than even my family knew, just by my expressions, actions, moods etc.. I was astonished! We now have been married since 1998 and still haven't had one argument. (sure we disagree on some things but those brush over, and no yelling at all). We can talk so openly to one another about ANYTHING, and I mean anything. No secrets kept here on my end anyhow. I feel the love from him everyday, feel very safe and secure, I cherish loving him. He gets along great with my 8yr old daughter and she just adores him. that means alot to me.
OH, I should mention too, he does laundry, cleans up after himself, cooks on occations, irons, and even sews when I ask.
I do hear alot of people complain, but I ask myself.....why stay in a relationship if your not happy? You only live once. ENJOY it!!! Not be misserable for years to come.
About the money/cost of divorce - when people get married, do they not think of how much it would cost to get out of it?? Your fault if you didn't.
Isolde
Guardian's Desire
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2000
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- 4,432
Savage Kitten said:
You may have something there...they do have classes for those thinking about getting married but, then again, some people can flunk anything...
I, myself, am getting out of my second marriage....it sucks...not marriage...failed marriages...
I believe marriage can be wonderful....if you go into it with the right attitude as well as the right person...
One day it will happen for me..until then, I am at least happy with the person I have beside me now.
p_p_man
The 'Euro' European
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- Feb 18, 2001
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- 24,253
Just a few random thoughts of my own...
It's just that the more I look at it marriage is such an unnatural state for two people to be in I can see no valid reason for its existence.
Two people living a life together without marriage can be just as faithful, attentive and loving as those holding the marriage certificate.
Marriage gives the Church and politicians a rallying cry, reason enough I would have thought to be suspicious of the institution, and the best most people can end up within marriage is a compromise. Unless you're going to keep searching beyond your sell-by date you're never really going to find the ideal person. Even if you think you have there may be nagging doubts that out there somewhere there's someone...
Marriage has a way of transforming a perfectly good relationship into a prison sentence. By taking away the freeedom of choice both participants can only feel trapped.
It's just that the more I look at it marriage is such an unnatural state for two people to be in I can see no valid reason for its existence.
Two people living a life together without marriage can be just as faithful, attentive and loving as those holding the marriage certificate.
Marriage gives the Church and politicians a rallying cry, reason enough I would have thought to be suspicious of the institution, and the best most people can end up within marriage is a compromise. Unless you're going to keep searching beyond your sell-by date you're never really going to find the ideal person. Even if you think you have there may be nagging doubts that out there somewhere there's someone...
Marriage has a way of transforming a perfectly good relationship into a prison sentence. By taking away the freeedom of choice both participants can only feel trapped.
Isolde
Guardian's Desire
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2000
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- 4,432
Honestly p-man, it all comes down to personal decision...
Some people like the comfort of that little paper..to some it matters not.
Love is love...if you have it than you are one of the most blessed people on this rock of ours. If not, than keep looking...it WILL find you.
Some people like the comfort of that little paper..to some it matters not.
Love is love...if you have it than you are one of the most blessed people on this rock of ours. If not, than keep looking...it WILL find you.
cactiphile
Really Really Experienced
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- Feb 7, 2001
- Posts
- 417
Hmm. I got married because at the time there was
good tax reasons. Then Mr Blair in his wisdom took that away!
I have no religous beliefs at all, and being married
made no difference to our relationship than before.
The only thing it did do was legitimise our relationship
for our relatives, but as we purposefully didn't invite
or even tell them about our wedding, the effect was
somewhat nulified.
Coming up to 7 years of marriage now, been together
10 years, and the only thing we argue about is housework.
My wife works full time, and I only work part time so I do all the house work (cook, clean washing etc) and won't let my wife do any, cos she works too hard at work.
For some strange reason this upsets her.
Women, can't understand them sometimes.
Cactiphile
good tax reasons. Then Mr Blair in his wisdom took that away!
I have no religous beliefs at all, and being married
made no difference to our relationship than before.
The only thing it did do was legitimise our relationship
for our relatives, but as we purposefully didn't invite
or even tell them about our wedding, the effect was
somewhat nulified.
Coming up to 7 years of marriage now, been together
10 years, and the only thing we argue about is housework.
My wife works full time, and I only work part time so I do all the house work (cook, clean washing etc) and won't let my wife do any, cos she works too hard at work.
For some strange reason this upsets her.
Women, can't understand them sometimes.
Cactiphile
MissTaken
Biker Chick
- Joined
- Jun 30, 2001
- Posts
- 20,570
Marraige: Been there, done that
My thoughts on marraige....
I am still trying to get out of my first marraige, but have learned enough to make a second marraige work.
And I agree whole heartedly that marraige should be as difficult to enter into as it is to dissolve. Three months from proposal to nuptuals for us. Seven months after separating, our very kind and mutually satisfying divorce still leaves us in limbo.
What was good about marraige? I have a life long friend in my husband, regardless of what his "title" is.
My thoughts on marraige....
I am still trying to get out of my first marraige, but have learned enough to make a second marraige work.
And I agree whole heartedly that marraige should be as difficult to enter into as it is to dissolve. Three months from proposal to nuptuals for us. Seven months after separating, our very kind and mutually satisfying divorce still leaves us in limbo.
What was good about marraige? I have a life long friend in my husband, regardless of what his "title" is.
G
Guest
Guest
hmmm...interesting question
I'm quickly approaching 31 and have yet to find the love of my life. I'm watching those around me struggling in their marriages. I've known some who have been married, divorced, and married again by this age.
I struggle with the number of people who are married (RL) in an erotic chat room and are "exclusive" with another person other than their spouse in their online lives on the same token I struggle with those in relationships (RL) who are holding down another online in a romantic way. Nothing wrong with forming friendships online, married or single...but holding down two different romances? Makes me wonder about the possibility of ever finding that someone who thinks I walk on the stars. Will he always be looking "for someone better"?
I also observe couples who fight constantly...please tell me what in this world is so worth screaming at each other? I think most things can be discussed rationally and if you can't do that at the time...go for a walk come back and try again later.
...back to the original question...do I think marriage should be made illegal? No, I don't. I think there's more to it than politics and religion. It's a public committment between two people of their love and devotion to each other. If it feels confining then maybe that isn't the right person to be married to. Harsh, I know but maybe truth. Anyway...these are my thoughts on the issue.
I'm quickly approaching 31 and have yet to find the love of my life. I'm watching those around me struggling in their marriages. I've known some who have been married, divorced, and married again by this age.
I struggle with the number of people who are married (RL) in an erotic chat room and are "exclusive" with another person other than their spouse in their online lives on the same token I struggle with those in relationships (RL) who are holding down another online in a romantic way. Nothing wrong with forming friendships online, married or single...but holding down two different romances? Makes me wonder about the possibility of ever finding that someone who thinks I walk on the stars. Will he always be looking "for someone better"?
I also observe couples who fight constantly...please tell me what in this world is so worth screaming at each other? I think most things can be discussed rationally and if you can't do that at the time...go for a walk come back and try again later.
...back to the original question...do I think marriage should be made illegal? No, I don't. I think there's more to it than politics and religion. It's a public committment between two people of their love and devotion to each other. If it feels confining then maybe that isn't the right person to be married to. Harsh, I know but maybe truth. Anyway...these are my thoughts on the issue.
ShyOlderGuy
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2001
- Posts
- 96
I'm not sure why
I guess I can't be sure that "marriage" is the reason we've stayed together. In fact, maybe "divorce", with all of it's complications, pain, and expense is what's kept us together.
In August we'll celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. It's something that both my wife and I are proud of. Looking back, I think that there have been times when either one of us may have walked away if it had been an easy thing to do. Love is a powerful emotion. I love my wife. I know she loves me. But during the stressful times, sometimes the love gets overshadowed by the disappointments, or anger or jealousy, or whatever. The marriage vow, the legalities, that "piece of paper" made us stick it out, change our behaviors, and solve the problems. For us, the changes were good. We're both better, richer people for it, and truly our lives have been blessed.
I know marriage isn't right for everyone. For us, though, I truly believe that it IS.
And no doubt, if something happened to my wife, I would marry again...I'm a believer!So, to answer the question...no I DON'T think it should be made illegal.
I guess I can't be sure that "marriage" is the reason we've stayed together. In fact, maybe "divorce", with all of it's complications, pain, and expense is what's kept us together.
In August we'll celebrate our 25th wedding anniversary. It's something that both my wife and I are proud of. Looking back, I think that there have been times when either one of us may have walked away if it had been an easy thing to do. Love is a powerful emotion. I love my wife. I know she loves me. But during the stressful times, sometimes the love gets overshadowed by the disappointments, or anger or jealousy, or whatever. The marriage vow, the legalities, that "piece of paper" made us stick it out, change our behaviors, and solve the problems. For us, the changes were good. We're both better, richer people for it, and truly our lives have been blessed.
I know marriage isn't right for everyone. For us, though, I truly believe that it IS.
And no doubt, if something happened to my wife, I would marry again...I'm a believer!So, to answer the question...no I DON'T think it should be made illegal.
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Beebeeblue
Wise Woman
- Joined
- Oct 4, 1999
- Posts
- 3,281
I believe marriage is the truest form of "I LOVE YOU" there is.
What better way to wake up every morning knowing that there is one person there who understands who you are, and why you talk to nobody till after your shower.
What better way to wake up every morning knowing that there is one person there who understands who you are, and why you talk to nobody till after your shower.
p_p_man
The 'Euro' European
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2001
- Posts
- 24,253
I'm really pleased for people who do find a degree of happiness...
once they have made their relationship binding by law. But I can't get out of my head that other great statistic that comes to my aid when I discuss something like this.
That in a roomful of men, married or not, the majority at some time in their lives have paid for, or are paying for, sex with a prostitute.
And the rest would like to but have never plucked up the nerve...
once they have made their relationship binding by law. But I can't get out of my head that other great statistic that comes to my aid when I discuss something like this.
That in a roomful of men, married or not, the majority at some time in their lives have paid for, or are paying for, sex with a prostitute.
And the rest would like to but have never plucked up the nerve...
