What'll it be?

Simply Me

Literotica Guru
Joined
Apr 21, 2001
Posts
6,637
Seven bartenders were asked if they could nail a women's
personality based on what she drinks. Though they were
interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

The results:

Drink: Beer.
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender Drinks.
Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the butt.
Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana
boy.

Drink: Mixed Drinks.
Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, picky
tastes, knows exactly what she wants.
Your Approach: You don't have to approach her, if she is
interested, she will send you a drink.

Drink: Wine. (does not include White Zinfandel)
Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet
giggles.
Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet
evenings with friends.

Drink: White Zinfandel.
Personality: Easy, THINKS she is classy and sophisticated,
actually has no clue.
Your Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is, this
should be an easy target.

Drink: Shots.
Personality: Likes to hang with Frat-boy pals and looking to
get totally drunk.....and naked.
Your Approach: Easiest one in the place. You have been
blessed this evening.Nothing to do but wait, however, be
careful not to make her mad.

Drink: Tequila.
No explanation required - everyone KNOWS what happens here.

Then there is the Male version of this. With guys it is
always simple and clear cut.

Domestic beer:
He is poor and he wants to get laid

Imported beer:
He has some cash to spare and he wants to get laid.

Wine:
He is hoping the wine thing will give him a sophisticated
image to help him get laid.

Whiskey:
He doesn't give a shit about anything except getting laid.

Tequila:
He is thinking he has a chance with the tattooed, toothless,
biker waitress.

White Zinfandel:
He is gay. Very, very gay.
 
hey wheres the Vodka...

Gives you your choice..a bowl of sugar or a shot of vodka.?
 
I'm definitely a mixed drinks sort of girl - Amaretto Stone Sour is the chit. Especially when it's made correctly!!!
 
Wuss! Wuss! I challenge you to a drink off...tequila shots.. you're going down!
 
Simply Me said:
Wuss! Wuss! I challenge you to a drink off...tequila shots.. you're going down!

*taking on my european drinking cap*

Simply Me. YOU ARE ON!!!

And You're going down baby dear. :p
 
Trading my skirt for a pair of jeans and t-shirt. Turning my cap backwards...Looking you in the eyes..It's lonely down at the bottom, carry a good book !
 
Book??

yeah and you better carry a pillow, so you dont hurt your head when the floor comes up and bites you in the nose ;)

Then me and my book will sit quietly down, have another drink and read the next chapter :p

[Edited by Xander on 05-10-2001 at 08:50 PM]
 
Pillow?

The only thing I would need a pillow for is to put your head on it after you pass out..while I sit and have a few more and watch late night tv. And if you're really nice, I will tuck you in.
 
Re: Pillow?

Simply Me said:
The only thing I would need a pillow for is to put your head on it after you pass out..while I sit and have a few more and watch late night tv. And if you're really nice, I will tuck you in.

BAH!! Dont make me laugh ;)
Girly girl, you're in WAY over your head :p

And Angel NOT a word ;)
 
Oh you still here. I thougt you had fallen from the stool a long time ago.;) well bartender!! bring the next bottle, we're far from done here ;)

Feels good dont it? :)
 
Nope, right beside you Xander. Your eyes are looking a little glazed over..you ok? Can I get you some coffee? Tylenol? Crow?
 
HA! look whos talking little ms red eye LOL

I am just fine and dandy. Ready for round 2?? ;)
 
You're just on round two? Don't worry, I'll wait for you, but hurry up..and the red eyes? That's from laughing when you tried to dance with the she-man.. hehe
 
Simply Me said:
You're just on round two? Don't worry, I'll wait for you, but hurry up..and the red eyes? That's from laughing when you tried to dance with the she-man.. hehe

uhm a little European drinking game pointers for you Simply Me. Round two means Bottle 2. And its almost gone.

And she-man?? Are you telling me you have a dick?? *duck* ;)
 
uhmmmm but I'm on round 4, almost done.. grabs the three empty bottles and bonks you upside the head..
 
BAH

Bring me another bottle while you're up will ya?? ;)

And HEY!! dont hit me damnit LOL
 
Back
Top