What would you "personal's" ad look like??

[Shy Tall Guy]

What would your "personal's" ad look like??

If you were (or are) looking for a mate for romance/long term relationship, what would your personal ad look like? Tell us what you look for in a mate, what you think you have to offer and a maybe a little bit about yourself in general.

To preclude misunderstandings you may want to state whether you are really looking for a relationship or not right at the beginning.

 

[Laurel]

You first!

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

You first!

I'm working on it - but I am not good at tooting my own horn.

 

[Natalie Nessus]

 

[Purple Haze]

Good looking middle aged man searching for meaningful relationship with a funny, caring and intelegent woman with a speedboat. Send photo of speedboat to purplehaze@literotica.org

 

[Silverlily]

you guys suck

Your cuffs or mine?
Married switch looking for new target, um, toy.

Me - dark brown hair and eyes, taller than average, slender, financially and emotionally secure. I have an extensive set of toys and I'm not afraid to use them. Voyeur, exhibitionist, Top, bottom, I've played them all.

You - male or female, pick one (shemales need not apply, sorry). Open-minded, aventurous, must have high pain tolerance and not faint at the sight of blood. Sammies are ok, but understand, I won't hesitate to put you over my knee. Knot tying experience and the ability to do body shots are a definate plus.

psst - I like blondes

To negotiate - reply now!

 

[Mensa]

Re: you guys suck

Your cuffs or mine?
Married switch looking for new target, um, toy.

Me - dark brown hair and eyes, taller than average, slender, financially and emotionally secure. I have an extensive set of toys and I'm not afraid to use them. Voyeur, exhibitionist, Top, bottom, I've played them all.

You - male or female, pick one (shemales need not apply, sorry). Open-minded, aventurous, must have high pain tolerance and not faint at the sight of blood. Sammies are ok, but understand, I won't hesitate to put you over my knee. Knot tying experience and the ability to do body shots are a definate plus.

psst - I like blondes

To negotiate - reply now!

<reads, hyperventilates, passes out>

 

[Purple Haze]

....sure blows mine out of the water.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Ok, I'm NOT looking (very hard)

Missouri Cowgirl seeking Cowboy to sweep her off her feet... must like children, (she has two) and enjoy the outdoors. An astounding sex drive is a must, as is playfulness and a willingness to experiment. An accent and/or foreign address is a definite bedroom door opener.

 

[Laurel]

Me Harley. You Harley Rider.

 

[Silverlily]

lol

Me Harley. You Harley Rider.

Vroooom!

 

[Mensa]

Get your motor runnin'

Me Harley. You Harley Rider.

One question, how many c.c.'s?

 

[Laurel]

1450. And lots of chrome.

 

[Mensa]

1450. And lots of chrome.

<reads, hyperventilates, passes out>

 

[Laurel]

My uncle always says, "If it don't go, chrome it." So maybe lotsa chrome isn't a good sign.

 

[Debbie]

IF I was to place a personal ad

Unique, goodnatured, slightly intelligent New Zealand woman, has low milage on her odometer, one owner, 5 ft 8, average weight, blue eyes, long blonde naturally curly hair seeks another unique human being of the male persuasion. Must be housetrained. (especially with the toilet seat and replacing the toilet roll as necessary)

Prefer gourmet cooking experience, no mother, and fully paid up health insurance.
Please contact rusexy2?@madeupemailaddress.com

Ok except for the last paragraph this is what I would put (and have done but all I got was some weirdo's but that could be the Kiwi guys for you!!! JUST KIDDING again)

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

I am seriously looking

I am a sensitive intelligent guy from the Pacific NorthWet. I am looking for a long term relationship with a single intelligent, compatible, sensual, reasonably attractive woman who is comfortable with her sexuality. Extra points for an outgoing and friendly personality.

I am something of an introvert, and I am not a party animal kind of guy - I would prefer to snuggle up with someone at home, in front of a fireplace watching a good movie or reading a good book. I like to travel and try new foods. I like the countryside - not the city.

I like to take my time and experiment with sex, learning my partners needs and wants. I'm not into BDSM, but if getting tied up a little, or blindfolded thrills you I am willing to give it the old college try.

PMs and emails/photos welcome.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Not as imaginitive as the others, but that is me.

 

[flawed_ethics]

May as well...

*sigh*

Shy, introvert, 22 y/o Madison, WI area male, recent graduate, average build, brown hair/eyes with penchant for peculiarities and simplicities in life. Seek like-minded female for conversation and companionship.

Huh. Short and to the point. I like how it came out. A rarity, to be sure.

 

[Natalie Nessus]

I'm sure I'll get thousands of calls from mine, after all, doesn't everyone like to dance?

 

[Lancaster]

Brilliant but wayward amateur chef seeks giggling female for the position of Taster-In-Chief.
Must be willing to endure long hours of passionate kitchen sink drama.

 

[SunnyGirl]

Sort of looking...

I'd never place a personal ad, I don't think but if I were, here's what it would be:

Mid twenties ex-adrenaline junkie. Slightly introverted, love reading and writing, listening to music. Total political ignoramus. Educated and don't use it, make what you will of that. Caffiene addict, bouncy, hyper and giggly.

Short build, brown hair and eyes. Not seeking a Casanova, just looking for an average guy who can talk about books, likes watching movies and can keep up with my 100mph hour habit of speech All interested, apply within

 

[Cheyenne]

Not as imaginitive as the others, but that is me.

Sounds good to me! Too bad you're on the other end of the country.

 

[beckbabe]

Housewife, mother of two, seeks sardonic, pithy asshole to amuse her.

 

[Sad Man]

Freaky depraved male, out to get ya,
dont try running you will only make it worse.